I'd blank their blank...

[jimkopelli]

Ok, another new submission to while away the hours of boredom I'm sure you all experience at some point.

Take the formula of "I'd (insert random verb) (his\her\that\their\those\or a name, whichever you feel like) (insert random noun)!"

No matter what you choose, it almost always sounds perverted. Give it a try.

For starters...
I'd wallop his codfish!

[int]

I'd drink her lamb fat.

[Almaviva]

I'd plant his rutabagas.

[jimkopelli]

I'd comb her keyboard...

[Birdsnest]

I'd pound that ounce

[purple13]

I'd buff her tubes

[Niflheimian]

I'd crank their jack-in-the-boxes.

[jimkopelli]

I was mesing around today, and found out that it works really well with ingredient labels.
I'd partially hydrogenate her soybean oil!

[ohnoaninfp]

i'd baste his turkey

[Melody]

i'd penetrate her vagina

[purple13]

i'd penetrate her vagina

Somehow that one doesn't sound perverted.

[ohnoaninfp]

i'd pilot his plane

[Almaviva]

I'd change her filter

[Utopmk]

I'd milk her goat.

[Sam172]

I'd cut her toenails

[Melody]

id nutrition her facts

[Niflheimian]

I'd float her boat.

[Melody]

id repeat her customer

[booyalab]

this would be funnier
if i were a guy, but:

I'd stuff his ballot box.

[booyalab]

I'd proliferate his Weapons of Mass Destruction

mmmmm oh yeah baby

[file cabinet]

I'd jump her tomorrow

[file cabinet]

I'd walk her dog

[jimkopelli]

I'd coil that extension cord...

[snarled]

I'd Kerry her Bush

[Almaviva]

I'd dimple her chads.

[Crazy]

I'd alleviate her congestion

[ohnoaninfp]

I'd butter his toast.

[int]

I'd resuscitate her pegleg.

[booyalab]

I'd alleviate her congestion

I like this one, especially since I have it.

would you use a straw?

[Crazy]

I'd alleviate her congestion

I like this one, especially since I have it.

would you use a straw?

lol

[Crazy]

I'd paint her spleen

[jimkopelli]

I'd unwrap that tootsie roll...

[snarled]

I'd club her seal

[Crazy]

I'd whitewash her picketfence

[snarled]

I'd discombobulate her bling-bling....

[Almaviva]

I'd debone his seafood.

[Utopmk]

I'd bleach her moldy taco.

[Niflheimian]

I'd drink that milkshake.

[snarled]

I'd bleach her moldy taco.

That just made me feel ill :)

I'd sizzle her bacon. Mmmmm...bacon.

[Ckyzxr]

I'd approve that message.

[Melody]

i would devour her flesh

[snarled]

I'd deflower her dish

[Utopmk]

I'd show the clothes hanger to her fetus.

[Crazy]

I'd photosynthsize her gastro-intestinal tract

[Melody]

id use her atm

[booyalab]

id use her atm

how about instead: "I'd make a deposit in her checking account"

[Melody]

lol i get it

it sounds interesting

[booyalab]

lol i get it

it sounds interesting

yes.. :mellow:

[booyalab]

I'd transmogrify his DNA

[Vagabond]

I'd kick their ass. :P

Sorry but no original ideas....

[int]

I'd hood her fury.

:rofl:

[Vagabond]

I'd hood her fury.

:rofl:
:rofl: :laser:

[snarled]

id use her atm

how about instead: "I'd make a deposit in her checking account"

I'd make a withdrawl...all over.

[cryptique]

I'd scuttle her dinghy.

[ohnoaninfp]

I'd play his violin

[booyalab]

I'd fling his poo!!!!!

[ohnoaninfp]

I'd rummage his sale

[lauriep]

I'd melt his chocolate

[ohnoaninfp]

I'd sniff his sharpie

[jimkopelli]

I'd click that pen... repeatedly, until someone told me to stop... then I'd wait a while, then start clicking it again...

[booyalab]

I'd bookmark his URL...

[Melody]

id fork her pork

[booyalab]

that little guy on your avatar looks like he forks alot of pork.

[ohnoaninfp]

lol. I'd conquer his country.

[Almaviva]

I'd elect her governer

[Sackanaka]

No matter what you choose, it almost always sounds perverted. Give it a try.

I'd eat her children. :o

[MacGuffin]

No matter what you choose, it almost always sounds perverted. Give it a try.

I'd eat her children. :o

I'd slit her throat.

Yeah, there seem to be exceptions!

[Strephonade]

I'd pound his poundcake

[jimkopelli]

No matter what you choose, it almost always sounds perverted. Give it a try.

I'd eat her children. :o

I'd slit her throat.

Yeah, there seem to be exceptions!
It works better if it's nonsensical, because then the meaning isn't as blunt... or sharp, as in some cases...

I'd mark her page...

[Sackanaka]

No matter what you choose, it almost always sounds perverted. Give it a try.

I'd eat her children. :o

I'd slit her throat.

Yeah, there seem to be exceptions!
It works better if it's nonsensical, because then the meaning isn't as blunt... or sharp, as in some cases...


Somehow, after all this context and framing, it's funny in a refreshing way. Like Melody's "I'd penetrate her vagina." Or I'm just doing an egoboost+1.

I'd rocket her socket.

[ohnoaninfp]

I'd light his fire

[KentOhio]

I'd buy a postcard of her Acropolis.

[Niflheimian]

I'd milk her udders.

[Strephonade]

I'd verb her noun.

[Birdsnest]

I'd taste those turnovers

[jimkopelli]

I'd mangle those turnips...

[ohnoaninfp]

I'd lick his sucker

[enydona]

I'd conquer their dilemma.

(with doughnuts)



It doesn't have to make sense to anyone else.. it's rational in my little world.

[Sackanaka]

I'd pinker her stinker :cry:

[evil kitten]

I'd paste his paper

[ohnoaninfp]

I'd vacuum his carpet

[enydona]

I'd cream his corn.

[jimkopelli]

I'd stretch their metaphor...

[BritainOphira]

One of my friends came up with a new (and horribly bad) pick-up line:
Will you chicken-fry my steak?
The appropriate response seems to be:
Yes, with batter.

[booyalab]

I'd stretch their metaphor...

I'd MIX his metaphors.....

[Sackanaka]

I'd hop her hip

[Sackanaka]

and pop her lock

[Utopmk]

I'd crack her rock.

[HackerX]

And suck his ... rooster

[file cabinet]

I'd murder her family

[Utopmk]

I'd mash her taters.

[Sackanaka]

I'd backside-attack her sn2 reaction. (anyone else use organic chem jokes? :nerd: )

[enydona]

I'd worsen his leukemia.

[booyalab]

I'd backside-attack her sn2 reaction. (anyone else use organic chem jokes? :nerd: )

are you kidding? this is HOT

I'd synthesize his alkyl halides..

I'd disenfranchise his electorate...

[codeElemental]

I'd defenestrate her cat.

[ohnoaninfp]

I'd anker his boat. (I know I spelled the 2nd word wrong.)

[Rhu]

I'd crash her harddrive.

I'd renecro his post.

[Nemesis]

I'd roach that server.

[mr. treat]

I'd backside-attack her sn2 reaction. (anyone else use organic chem jokes? :nerd: )

i'd reduce her ketone

[mr. treat]

i'd sum her inscribed rectangles

[Birdsnest]

I'd twist his wrist

[headfonez]

Id Mc her Donalds

[akirafist]

I'd slap her ass with a spatula.

[eyebyte_atWork]

I'd cross her "T"

[Snowflake]

I'd check her levels

[raincrow007]

I'd barb that Rhu...

[Edmond Zedo]

Id Mc her Donalds
Man, that sounds pretty good right about nah.

[akirafist]

I'd cream on her peaches.

[Snowflake]

I'd pound her cake

[Nemesis]

I'd instant that messenger.

[mr. treat]

i'd waste her time

[Crazy]

I'd generate her church sign

[akirafist]

I'd punish my penis.

[Master O]

i'd tame her shrew

[Master O]

i'd waste her time
:lol:

[Master O]

i'd jolly her roger

[bergenski]

I'd polish her disco shoes...munch her cockroach...clean her lint drawer...AND wipe her furnace...

[C.J.Woolf]

i'd jolly her roger
"I'd roger her jolly" also works.

[abathur]

I'd categorize her householdincome (:p)

[naruto littles helpers.jpeg]

i'd lose her whole

[akirafist]

I'd let her crispy my creme.

[Snowflake]

I'd charge her battery

[Angela]

I'd grease his shaft
I'd palm his ball(s)
I'd walk his plank
I'd bump his ugly
I'd beat his meat
I'd lick his lolipop

[naruto littles helpers.jpeg]

i'd milk her entrails. (yes, you)

[Snowflake]

I'll melt her tuna

[abathur]

I'd trim her bonsai.

[Carebear]

I'd verb her noun.
That one's so great that I'll borow it.

I'd verb her noun
by Carebear

I'd soil her undies
I'd sow her up
I'd eat her flesh
I'd stab her cup

I'd open her torso
I'd prod her heart
I'd finger her hymen
I'd smell her fart

I'd bury her body
I'd break her spine
I'd forget her existence
I'd drink her wine

*************

Yep, you were right, jimkopelli! It does indeed sound perverted if I follow this model. I feel dirty and used now. And I blame you for this feeling, jimkopelli! You should have added a warning stating that when you said perverted, you really meant perverted. :cry:

[raincrow007]

I'd curb that Jesus.

[Carebear]

I'd curb that Jesus.

I've already tried, doesn't seem to help.

[raincrow007]

I'd use this (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=curbing) dictionary.

[Nemesis]

I've already tried, doesn't seem to help.
HEY! WTF! JESUS STOLE LL COOL J'S JACKET!

[Rhu]

I'd Christianize their rap community...


HEY! WTF! JESUS STOLE LL COOL J'S JACKET!

Everybody knows Jesus was down with the hos,
Savin their souls before his body had holes,
If LL can't hang, then fuck that damn wang,
JC's got heavenly riches and all the good bitches.

"It has a message that touched my soul! Blessed be!"

[Carebear]

Blessings be upon you, Rhu.

And LL cool Jesus can't steal his own jacket, stupid.

As for curbing, I've now tried curbing myself urban style as well , but it's damn hard. I'm able to scratch the back of my neck with my foot now, but packing any punch behind the impact is to tricky yet. I'll work on it though and get more flexible, maybe I'm able to do it in a year or so. Terriffic.

[mr. treat]

i'd ignore her needs

[Carebear]

i'd break her safe

i'd tickle her button

[abathur]

I'd mail his package.

[MasterMerk]

I'd erase their posts

[abathur]

I'd maroon Britain's criminals.

[meshou]

I'd shove his brother.

I'd butter his bread.

I'd tickle his ivories.

I'd shoot his breeze.

[naruto littles helpers.jpeg]

i'd water her pistil
i'd pestle her mortar

[Crazy]

I'd liquify her assets

I'd resuscitate her poodle

I'd elect her President

I'd stake her vampire

I'd allocate her funds

I'd dock with her space station

I'd melt in her mouth (not in her hand)

I'd shock her grandparents

I'd reconfigure her face

I'd box her ears

I'd eliminate her middle man

I'd surf her website

I'd stalk her sister

I'd file her tax return

I'd calculate her THAC-0

I'd cancel her credit cards

I don't know, they just don't really sound good today.

[naruto littles helpers.jpeg]

I'd stake her vampire




oooooh, very colorful. theese one me's like

[Carebear]

I'd calculate her THAC-0


Nerd alert! :lol:

Edit: Dammit, guess I just outed myself as well.

[Nemesis]

I'd fuck that chick.

[Crazy]

Nerd alert! :lol:

Edit: Dammit, guess I just outed myself as well.You walked right into my carefully planned trap.

[digesthisickness]

i'd ignore her needs

hahaha! i mean... oh that's baaaad... shame...

*snicker*

[grapejuiceinthesun]

I'd put my stuff in her attic

I'd walk down her hallway

I'd cook in her kitchen

I'd park my car in her garage

I'd file folders in her office

I'd take a shower in her bathroom

I'd set the table in her dining room

I'd fold clothes in her laundry room

I'd leave my shoes in her entryway

I'd slide down her banister

I'd sweep her chimney

I'd walk into her walk-in closet

I'd do a few laps in her pool

I'd bug bomb her basement

I'd rearrange her sitting room

[abathur]

I'd clusterfuck her mongolians.

[Pooja]

I'd mongol his clusterfuck

[abathur]

I'd Pooja her Shmooja.

[abathur]

I'd close her entrance-ramp?

[imfrellinggay]

I'd toss his salad

[imfrellinggay]

I'd Aber his Crombie
I'd American his Eagle

(sorry, I was bored and doing laundry and came up with these)

[mr. treat]

i'd fuck her daughter.

[Master O]

i'd spelunk her cave

[Google Monster]

I'd eat her cookies.

[distraction tactics]

I'd toss his salad

Dude bro - this one quite literally has a meaning.

[dunee]

I'd burn his brand name.
I'd crease that paper.
I'd translate that German.

[abathur]

I'd grill his steak.

[imfrellinggay]

Dude bro - this one quite literally has a meaning.
Isn't that the point? Or are you asking whos salad I'd toss?

I'd ruffle his feathers
I'd flog his log
I'd swiss his miss
I'd IN his TP (this sounds disgusting)
I'd crossreference his entries
I'd fry his fatback
I'd butter his biscotti
I'd melt his fondu

[eyebyte_atWork]

I'd delete her cookies.

[Google Monster]

I'd eat her cookies.

[Ivy]

I'd sink his battleship! (Has that been said yet?)

[Google Monster]

I'd sink his battleship! (If not, it is now.)

[Ivy]

I'd give cookies to his furry monster.
I'd pimp his ride.
I'd crash his Hindenberg.

[knome]

I'd chuck his norris

I saw it. It was awesome.

[Google Monster]

I'd Mmmm... his cookies

[abathur]

I'd scan her documents.

[Google Monster]

I'd read his scans

[imfrellinggay]

I'd pound his meat (@ abathur)

[distraction tactics]

Isn't that the point? Or are you asking whos salad I'd toss?


Not at all.

It was more the incredibility of munching out someone's ass.

[abathur]

I'd ground imfrellinggay's meat

[Sackanaka]

I'd ground imfrellinggay's meat
ground... meat...

:sick:

[Kilby]

I'd lambaste their lambchops.

[Pooja]

I'd read his posts

[abathur]

I'll oggle poojashmooja's pic. :/

[Pooja]

that's so sweet, thanks!!

I'd respond to his thread

[Snowflake]

I'd fill her void

[abathur]

I'll fire in her hole?

[Carebear]

I'd leave footprints with my finger
I'd move on, but still I'd linger.

I'd mess with his signature.

[Crazy]

I'd scramble her eggs!

[Snowflake]

I'd butter her muffin

[Pooja]

I'd peel his banana

[Al Cpwn]

I'd peel his banana
thats somewhat hot.

[Ivy]

thats somewhat hot.

But only somewhat.

Like, I'd notarize his deed.

[Al Cpwn]

But only somewhat.

Like, I'd notarize his deed.
I'll tie her up
I'll spank her ass

[C.J.Woolf]

Like, I'd notarize his deed.
I'd grant her license.
I'd serve her subpoena.
I'd take his testimony. (It only really works with a male subject.)
I'd (de?)file her briefs.


I'd survey her tracts of land.

[Ivy]

I'd clip his toenails.
I'd submit his paperwork in triplicate.
I'd markup his merchandise.

[Al Cpwn]

I'll pinch her tits
I'll bite her cheeks
I'll pull her hair
I'll whip her ass

[abathur]

I'll try not to read anymore of al cpwn's posts :/

[Snowflake]

I'll make her SCREAM!!!

[Al Cpwn]

I'll make her SCREAM!!!
like an animal.

[Snowflake]

And then afterwards we can eat ice cream with cherries and cool whip

I'd eat her cherry, mmm

[Al Cpwn]

And then afterwards we can eat ice cream with cherries and cool whip

I'd eat her cherry, mmm
Its already popped. You can taste her juices though.

[Crazy]

I'd half her fat
I'd lower her colesterol
I'd churn her butter

[Carebear]

Its already popped. You can taste her juices though.

Once you pop, you can't stop.

[Snowflake]

Once you pop, you can't stop.

ROFL :lol:

[Snowflake]

I just thought of another:

I'd pop her tarts

[joft]

I'd pressure her selection

[abathur]

I'd butter her muffin.

[Snowflake]

I'd butter her muffin.

Don't steal my sayings, kthxbai

[abathur]

I'd bitchslap your mother's son.

[Google Monster]

I'd steal his sayings.

[Google Monster]

I'd butter her muffin.

[abathur]

I buttered your mom's muffin.

[joft]

I would eat that buttered muffin

[Pooja]

I'd melt his icicle

(c'mon, that's hot)

[Google Monster]

I'd freeze that melted icicle.

(c'mon, that's cold)

[abathur]

I'd lose pooja's shmooja

[Pooja]

(inspired by above avatar)

I'd bake his cookies

[joft]

I'd burninate her thatched-roof cottage

[Pooja]

well,
I'd thatch his burninate

(I have NO idea what that means)

[abathur]

I'd tell her to google trogdor.

[Google Monster]

(inspired by above avatar)

I'd bake his cookies

I have no idea how you were inspired by the above avatar.

[Pooja]

I meant yours

[Google Monster]

I know. :sombrero:

[Google Monster]

:offtopic: I'd fix this topic

[Carebear]

I'd freeze that melted icicle.

(c'mon, that's cold)

:rofl:

[C.J.Woolf]

I'd topple his head of state.

(Credit to Madrigal.)

[C.J.Woolf]

I'd check her box.

(Credit to a poster on the "wwyd-f" thread.)

[Google Monster]

I'd give you credit.

(Credit to C.J. Woolf.)

[opopanax]

i'd smoke her cigarette :mellow:

[Pooja]

I'd brew his tea

[C.J.Woolf]

I'd give you credit.

(Credit to C.J. Woolf.)
Thanks! Can you lend me a thousand bucks?

[lexiphanic]

I'd degrease her oven.

[Snowflake]

I'd butter her muffin.

How did I miss this??

:rant:

Oh well, I can't be mad at Google Monster

:wub:

[Google Monster]

Thanks! Can you lend me a thousand bucks?
Ummm... sure I guess, when will I get paid back and what interest would fit you best, if any interest at all?


How did I miss this??

:rant:

Oh well, I can't be mad at Google Monster

:wub:

:banana:

[abathur]

I'd spam her inbox.

[Kai]

I'd drink his milk.
I'd flip his channels.
I'd pin his tail.
I'd roast his marshmallow.
I'd split his banana.

-Kai

[Snowflake]

I'd kill her dead

[Kai]

I'd kill her dead

That's hot!

:rofl:

-Kai

[abathur]

I'd till her flower-bed?

[Crazy]

I'd cork her bottle
I'd squeeze her Charmin
I'd throw her switch
I'd disqualify her science project
I'd squander her inheritance
I'd forge her signature
I'd pick her strings

[abathur]

I'd clean her golf balls.

[Kai]

I'd arm his weapon.
I'd iron his uniform.
I'd strip his rank.
I'd lead his training.

-Kai

[abathur]

I'd send her an OOC comment.

[Rhu]

I'd pick her nose.
I'd heat her pool.
I'd chew her cud.
I'd walk her plank.
I'd spin her bottle.
I'd fish her ocean.
I'd fix her ant problem.
I'd bury her mother.
I'd burn her passport.
I'd jail her.
I'd have her pets spayed or neutered.
I'd cup her coffee.
I'd insult her sensibilities.
I'd checkmate her cutlery.
I'd organize her thoughts.
I'd spill her oxygen.
I'd spell her plastic.
I'd steal her ideas.
I'd streak her underwear.

...

I was going to see how long I could go on, but I think that last one was the most unerotic thing I'd be able to manage.

[Kai]

I'd send her an OOC comment.

Damn you! Aim for my soft spot why don't you! :mad:

-Kai

[Snowflake]

I'd defrag her hard disk.
I'd flash her ROM.
I'd program her memory.
I'd synthesize her MIDI.
I'd wobble her weeble.
I'd fry her egg.

[Kai]

I'd program her memory.
I'd synthesize her MIDI.


Wow, that's hot. You're on a roll baby!

-Kai

[Crazy]

I'd raid her blog
I'd drown her body
I'd feed her bloodlust
I'd stain her fangs
I'd flood her desert

[abathur]

I'd syndicate her content.

[ben from below]

i'd lacerate her femoral artery
i'd verb her noun

[abathur]

I'd all-I-can-eat her buffet?

[C.J.Woolf]

I'd enrich her uranium.
I'd split her infinitives.
I'd dangle his participle.

And for Rhu:
I'd laugh her ass off.

[Kai]

I'd hunt his tracks.
I'd lick his heart.
I'd salute his coming.
I'd carry his torch.
I'd twist his words.
I'd bloody his driveway.

-Kai

[abathur]

I'd lick the blood right off your street.

[Snowflake]

I'd punch her card.
I'd induct her current.
I'd resist her impedance.
I'd clip her transistor.

[Kai]

I'd firewall his ports.
I'd emote his message.
I'd hijack his server.
I'd corrupt his files.
I'd clutter his desktop.

-Kai

[cryingmime]

this might be a good topic to combine with the ctrl+v thread.

r

p.s. i'd <ctrl+v> 10272110 </ctrl+v> her eye socket.