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View Full Version : Do people cut you off when you're talking?



PsiKik
25 Oct 2004, 11:52 AM
I find that often when I am trying to explain something the other person cuts me of.
I have a friend who is an ISTJ and does this all too frequently. Could it be that they have actually understood what I am trying to convey, or are they perceive me to be irritating in some way - some other INTP trait that others find irritating, that I am unaware of?

Melody
25 Oct 2004, 12:01 PM
i think u r being too quiet

speak stronger

speak with confidence

the world is there for the taking

etc.

adamaw11
25 Oct 2004, 12:05 PM
Yeah I've often found the same problem with people cutting me off. Its probably made be grow to be more introverted.

And yeah I'd say that has been the case with ISTJs particularly. So I suppose I usually avoid trying to explain anything thats complicated enough to take a bit more time to explain. I've found I can stay on good terms with them easily enough, and they're good for getting bits of information out of, especially about cars.

cloakable
25 Oct 2004, 02:35 PM
Hehe, people have cut me off in the past, but recently I found a good way to get everyones attention back to what I'm saying. It goes like this: 'shut the fuck up and listen!'. Works quite well, too. Dear god, I'm developing more J traits!

INTrPosr
25 Oct 2004, 02:41 PM
Interestingly, I have an ISTJ co-worker who I usually cut off with a barage of questions. I do have people who cut me off, then have the audacity to ask me to continue. I tell them never mind and walk away.

Melody
25 Oct 2004, 02:41 PM
Hehe, people have cut me off in the past, but recently I found a good way to get everyones attention back to what I'm saying. It goes like this: 'shut the fuck up and listen!'. Works quite well, too. Dear god, I'm developing more J traits!
:rofl:

pure genius

*takes down notes and drives his VW Golf off a cliff*

PsiKik
25 Oct 2004, 03:02 PM
Hehe, people have cut me off in the past, but recently I found a good way to get everyones attention back to what I'm saying. It goes like this: 'shut the fuck up and listen!'. Works quite well, too. Dear god, I'm developing more J traits!

I had a phase where I would say something like "Please let me finish", but would come across as arrogant - they would be taken aback. I suppose I cam across as rude.

Avengardh
25 Oct 2004, 04:18 PM
When people cut me off they apologize, if they ever do cut me off.

shaytana
25 Oct 2004, 04:29 PM
When I am talking and people cut me off I tend to react by not listening to them, and they know it too.

Nindy
25 Oct 2004, 05:51 PM
Mostly I don't mix in conversations - when I do - mostly I'm bound to be cut off and feel rejected and stop talking for a while until I gather courage and mix again and get cut off again etc. So good for my self-esteem!

ohnoaninfp
25 Oct 2004, 07:00 PM
I hate it when people cut me off. One of my friends cuts me off when we are talking, but she doesan't mean to.

Aryan
25 Oct 2004, 07:24 PM
Cutting off might have different reasons at different times
Use your Ne to guide your Fe and feel confident
/* u r an INTP u have to be right !!! :huh: */

Yeah i have experienced that (cutting off), so always i'm on the lookout for right moment so that people may listen to me

People dont come to u, u have to make them do so

The only INTP trait that others find irritating might be stubborness, otherwise everything else works fine

SensEye
25 Oct 2004, 08:07 PM
Actually, I am guilty of cutting other people off more often than they cut me off. Oops. I try not to, but sometimes I'm just bustin' to share my insights and get impatient.

flan2dave
25 Oct 2004, 08:12 PM
I don't think people cut me off too much. Usually, they make an extra effort not to because they realize I don't speak often.

InsurgentAlpha
25 Oct 2004, 09:34 PM
You know what I do when someone cuts me off? After they are done talking I just resume talking at the exact moment they cut me off at. They usually get the point because it confuses them for a second. Hehe.

Oblivious
25 Oct 2004, 10:33 PM
Good one! :thumbup: :D

crule81
25 Oct 2004, 11:15 PM
The person who cuts me off the most happens also to be my boss. When I speak to him it's as if there is a clock running. In fact there is because a clock is on the wall behind where I sit or stand in his office. He always glances at it when I talk to him. He sees everything as black and white and doesn't accept anything but a certain answer and he expects me to spit it out in 30 seconds, regardless of the complexity. He often cuts me off basically saying "get to the point." This pisses me off more than almost anything. This behavior is odd because he depends on me for all of his legal research and I feel that he should be more respectful of my opinion, even if it isn't what he wants to hear. One way I tried to solve this problem was to write memos as the primary means of communication. But he just takes the memos I give to him and throws them on the desk where it gets lost in the clutter. Then, weeks later, he asks me why I didn't do something and I tell him I gave him a memo. Then he blames me for not reminding him to look at it every few days. But when I remind him to do things, he gets upset that I'm bothering him while he attempts to concentrate on something else. Up to this point, I've had bosses who were better listeners and had more respect for me not only as a worker, but as a person as well. But it's odd because he invites me to all of his tailgate parties before Lions games and has me and the secretary up to his big house on the lake. I guess I've strayed a bit off topic but I'm just venting about my lousy job more.

Claverhouse
26 Oct 2004, 01:09 AM
Have you ever fantasized about him dying in quick and painless ways ?



Claverhouse :ph34r:

booyalab
26 Oct 2004, 01:28 AM
The person who cuts me off the most happens also to be my boss. When I speak to him it's as if there is a clock running. In fact there is because a clock is on the wall behind where I sit or stand in his office. He always glances at it when I talk to him. He sees everything as black and white and doesn't accept anything but a certain answer and he expects me to spit it out in 30 seconds, regardless of the complexity. He often cuts me off basically saying "get to the point." This pisses me off more than almost anything. This behavior is odd because he depends on me for all of his legal research and I feel that he should be more respectful of my opinion, even if it isn't what he wants to hear. One way I tried to solve this problem was to write memos as the primary means of communication. But he just takes the memos I give to him and throws them on the desk where it gets lost in the clutter. Then, weeks later, he asks me why I didn't do something and I tell him I gave him a memo. Then he blames me for not reminding him to look at it every few days. But when I remind him to do things, he gets upset that I'm bothering him while he attempts to concentrate on something else. Up to this point, I've had bosses who were better listeners and had more respect for me not only as a worker, but as a person as well. But it's odd because he invites me to all of his tailgate parties before Lions games and has me and the secretary up to his big house on the lake. I guess I've strayed a bit off topic but I'm just venting about my lousy job more.

*started looking at the clock halfway through this post* :P jk

file cabinet
26 Oct 2004, 02:38 AM
probably but I talk to too few people so I'm pretty indifferent about it. I know it happens to my mom since she brought it up once in conversation(she didn't interrupt me..).

Bluehaze
26 Oct 2004, 04:26 AM
If someone won't hear me out then they are most likely not the type of person who I would like to spend time with or use my energy to speak too. Most often these types of people use body gestures and physical signals to distinguish when a point in a conversation in shifting etc. Obviously they could just not like the idea being presented and cut it off without conclusion, yet I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. This does not merit my negative views, but rather the recognition of another form of interaction. Visual vs. Auditory, a simple balance--I just prefer the latter in most situations.

crule81
26 Oct 2004, 04:46 AM
Have you ever fantasized about him dying in quick and painless ways ?

He's not a bad guy, it's just that our personalities clash more than any other person I've ever worked with.

jimkopelli
26 Oct 2004, 04:59 AM
It depends on what they interrupt with. If it's something important, like "Lenscap!" or "Your leg is on fire, just thought you should know..." then it's okay, and probably welcome. If it's something I already knew, or it's just a really stupid off topic thing, then I get angry.
Something I'm guilty of, though, is completeing sentences for people. If asomeone is searching for a word, usually I come up with what they wanted... this happens a lot with teachers... some mind, and hate me, and others just take it in stride and move on.

Seraph
26 Oct 2004, 05:08 AM
I get interrupted constantly. Maybe that's why I've adapted by reducing anything I need to say to short ten-second blurbs. I get nervous if I speak too long.

Vagabond
26 Oct 2004, 05:50 AM
Not really. Especially around extroverts, I don't get to talk much in the first place.

Boozer
26 Oct 2004, 11:11 PM
I've gotten into the habit of not stopping when people try to cut me off. I just keep going and raise my voice over theirs until I get my point out. I only find myself able to do it when I'm confident in the validity of my point. So if it's a work thing I can do it. But if it's in a social situation I clam up. :sigh:

SheepDog
27 Oct 2004, 09:10 AM
I've gotten into the habit of not stopping when people try to cut me off. I just keep going and raise my voice over theirs until I get my point out. I only find myself able to do it when I'm confident in the validity of my point. So if it's a work thing I can do it. But if it's in a social situation I clam up. :sigh:
I have a coworker that talks over me and I've consistently just kept talking. I even do this on conference calls, which I hoped would embarrass him enough to get the point. He's oblivious, but the laughter on the phone makes it worthwhile.

In social settings, I usually say something like, "do you mind if I finish my sentence?" but only after the more subtle points don't work.

Most of the time, if I don't have to communicate, and they don't want to listen, then I'm not bothering to share my thoughts anyway.

file cabinet
27 Oct 2004, 09:15 AM
for the people who stop talking when cut off, are you more 'dominate' or 'submissive' ?

Nindy
27 Oct 2004, 11:36 AM
for the people who stop talking when cut off, are you more 'dominate' or 'submissive' ?

mostly more submissive.
at martial arts practise I'm more dominant though, but people never cut me off there, they actually know what respect means and have it most of the time. :)