Anyone have any gaurdian family members? Plus a rant!

[Tranzors]

I have one. My sister. surprisingly, i get along with her fine most of the time. But i'm smarter than her and she has strange logic. She tries to hard to be in and accepted amongst her peers, then I give her a logical explanation as to why it's not important. I then tell her to shut the hell up, listen to Linkn Park because they understand.

It seems to me that gaurdians, they don't like seeing what's real, and effective from INT. But they will take advice from other gaurdians, and pretty much any E. I don't understand their logic. WHY!?!!?!?

Whenever I want to talk about social issues in America today (racism is an issue I love talking about), gaurdians just want me to shut up. It's like they don't want to accept what's real, and they just want to conform to society's rules even though they are wrong.

[CosmicDust]

I have an ISFJ mother. She's not too bad overall...she's a Enneagram Ninish sort with her main "thing" being merging with her significant other (my current stepdad is an InTJ - small N denoting some S-ish tendencies - which is pretty cool, 'cause there was finally another nerd in the family). If her romantic relationship is fine, she tends not to be too much of a strain on others. However, she does insist that I e-mail her every 3 days or so in order to know I'm alive...you know, typical SJ worrywart parent stuff. She knows now that I don't lend myself to emotional connections well, and so she doesn't try too hard, though she has always seemed to wish she could connect with me more. She did say in her early days with my stepdad that he helped her to understand me better.

[Vagabond]

ESFJ mother. A 2w3, actually... not to mention a soc/sp. Lol, still I kept my sanity... I think. :ph34r:

[Division56]

ISFJ mother. I think we may have finally reached an equlibrium though.

[Nighthawk]

My mother is an ISTJ. My childhood was pretty decent, largely because of her logistical care. (Dad was an ESFP ... usually out at with friends or chasing other women ... so I couldn't depend on him for guidance.) As a kid, I thought both my parents were a bit obtuse and narrow minded. Nothing new there. As an adult, I don't have a lot to talk about with my mom. I see her a few times a week, but only for about 10 minutes. The conversation goes something like this:

- The weather.
- A rundown of what every single one of my cousins, aunts, and uncles is doing ... most of whom I haven't seen in decades.
- Analysis of the latest things Bush or Kerry have said (as if both of them aren't lying)
- Telling me I shouldn't be so negative.
- Asking me to go buy something for her at the store, reminding me that is what "good" sons do


That about sums up our interaction for the most part. I get along well with her. There just isn't much to talk about. If I try to talk about something that interests me, she keeps right on talking about one of the above 5, as though I never said anything at all. Most Guardians don't get it when I start talking about things that interest me. Its futile. Its like you're speaking to them in another language.

My wife is an IXFJ, but operates in Guardian mode much of the time. I have a wonderful relationship with her, because she is a very caring and loving person. I trust her 100%. She works her ass off to contribute to the relationship in every possible way. Plus its nice to have a stable, comfortable home that is free of drama. It gives me the solitude I desire to pursue my projects. This is especially nice after having grown up with an Artisan father and having helped raise an Artisan step-daughter. 20+ years of disruptive drama there. Guardians family members may be monotonous and narrow, but I'll take them any day over an Artisan who blows all your money, invites losers into your home, and has the cops at your door all hours of the day.

As an aside, my mother hates it when I talk about MBTI. In her mind, people are shaped by their parents after birth, and personalities can be changed. Oh yes, and the only "right" personality is whatever Guardians do. The others all are "not normal." She won't hesitate to let you know this either. Fortunately, my wife gets it. She forgives my cluttered P attitude and cherishes my N creativity, and I forgive her J nagging and cherish her F caring.

[Vagabond]

As an aside, my mother hates it when I talk about MBTI. In her mind, people are shaped by their parents after birth, and personalities can be changed. Oh yes, and the only "right" personality is whatever Guardians do.
Oh wow... that sounds so familiar it is freaky. SJs should come with an instruction booklet I think... :huh:

[SheepDog]

My older brother is an eSTJ (less strong on the e), and since we grew up with intermittent father figures, he has assumed a fatherly role for me. I'm mid 30's and he's 40, but despite years of trying, he still doesn't 'get' me. He just shakes his head and knows I'm different but just doesn't understand.

One time I actually told him that I would rather he be my brother than my father. He took great offense but finally admitted that he "just wanted me to learn from his experience." I said thanks, but I'll let him know I'm interested by asking next time.

Our mother is a highly dramatic ISFP, and that's putting it nicely. One thing that we didn't have during childhood is stability (understatement). Since my bronter is a guardian, he has focused on creating stability in his life (and mine!) as the "fix" for all the crazyness of our childhood. I think this makes his Guardian tendencies more pronounced.


...Oh yes, and the only "right" personality is whatever Guardians do. The others all are "not normal." She won't hesitate to let you know this either.

Oh, my...

I couldn't count how many conversations with my brother contained phrases like, "I think most people would agree that..." or "I think it's normal for people to do this...". He's so hung up on what the mythical average, normal person does, and he just assumes this to be the only way to think or do things. When we have a difference, he doesn't consider my view interesting or thought provoking. He thinks it's "different" or "strange" or when he's feeling direct, "not normal". [lions and tigers and bears, oh my!]

The mildly sad thing is that in order for me to grow, I've had to distance myself partially from my brother (he's still a nice person), and stop talking to my mother altogether (years since we've talked). We may pick things up someday (more hopeful with my brother), but for now, this is necessary for my own growth.

The really sad thing is that I in no way want to change either of them. I just want them to respect me for who I am. If I hadn't found my wife, who both understands and appreciates me, I'd be very alone.