Now I'm in trouble

[athman]

I sometimes I wonder if reading about this stuff doesn’t exaggerate the traits. I was half way thru posting something on the forum and my wife walked in. We all know what it’s like to be interrupted but I didn’t say anything. She had just met a guy who has two wives living with him at the same time. I very nearly said ‘gee having one wife is hard enough’ but I didn’t. (It was meant as a humorous comment but even I could see the danger in this one). Then my mind went off in tangents. I started thinking that I’m getting better at this INTP stuff, I nearly got into trouble with a blunt and inappropriate comment but managed to hold on to it. Then I thought, maybe I’ll write about it in the forum. I started mentally composing a note. Meanwhile my wife was still talking about this guy having two wives and noticed I had that ‘far-way look’. She asked what I was thinking about. I couldn’t help it, I burst out laughing. How could I explain the last series of thoughts to her? Now I’m in big trouble.

[synchronous]

LOL, I find your situation funny. As a female, I'd not be offended by your comment, but easy for me to say since I'm an INTP too and relate to your thoughts. I find it difficult to live with my husband, but, he knows where I stand and he doesn't take it personally, although, he probably would like more 'togetherness'. We both have challenging personalities, a good portion of our daily communication is playful light banter about each other's idiosyncracies.

Yes, I'd say this stuff does exaggerate the traits. It seems almost to give us permission to be more ourselves, knowing others understand us. It also has me going down memory lane as well, remembering some of my difficulties when I was young.

[Sackanaka]

At least I'm glad that INTPs can have happily married lives. Reassurance for the future.

[SheepDog]

Knowing you're an INTP does affect being an INTP. But I think that synchronous's comment that it's giving us permission to be more ourselves describes it for me.

Fortunately for me, my wife is big on the MBTI. She understands that it's not all about her, it's more about the way I'm wired. I don't recall how we worked it out, but I believe it still took a lot of "discussions" to get it to sink in that (as in your example) 1) interrupting me may not get her the response she is seeking, and 2) I may not care about plot-driven trivial stories.

I recall quite a few responses of mine regarding the second one, some wich went over better than others. The last I remember was something like, "you do understand that I'm not particularly interested in this person, whom I've never even met, right?" It only works in the context of all the other times we've discussed type. :) This is one where letting myself be an INTP means no longer trying to pretend I'm interested.

As for the interruptions, this has been an issue for me for as long as I remember, back to early childhood. Similarly, my wife and I have had quite a few conversations about it. For a while, when she would interrupt me I would say something like, "is this important, because if it is, I'll stop what I'm doing. But I'd really like to finish what I'm doing if it's not urgent." There's no really easy way to put it, and this is better than some of my responses from years back. She apparently still loves me, and doesn't interrupt me like that very often. Just yesterday, I was working on a project and she made us some lunch. She came to me about 10 minutes before it would be ready to let me know that she was making it and that it would be ready soon. I thanked her when I came to eat, not just for making the food, but for being considerate. It seems like a small gesture, but I know it was made out of love, and it really means a lot to have worked through our personality differences together. (FWIW, I try to reciprocate. I even sent her flowers once or twice ;) )

[candela]

At least I'm glad that INTPs can have happily married lives. Reassurance for the future.I wouldn't be happy if I had to hold back what I want to say. I doubt I'll ever get married though.

[int]

I'm glad my wife has a sense of humour. I'd blurt out that comment to her without even thinking about it.

Since learning about MBTI I've let my personality show off a little more - I've started talking and saying what I'm thinking around my wife and family, and a few close friends.

[Sackanaka]

btw... I like how the Mom is the only one green in athman's pic. ;)

[flan2dave]

Internal monologue isn't exactly conversation ready, otherwise it wouldn't be internal monologue. Tis why it's likely I'll forget what I was thinking about if somebody were to ask me what I was thinking about.

[athman]

I guess I'm going through a period of heightened self-awareness of my INTP traits. I stumbled across this forum about a week ago. I had the same initial reaction as many ... you go thru life being described as someone who is very unique then you find a whole lot of people with similar 'uniqueness'. Its great! I look forward to being a detached observer of my own behaviour for the next few weeks.

BTW... My eight year old daughter drew the avatar. I didn't initially notice that mom was drawn in green. Hmmm, I always thought I was the alien.

[synchronous]

BTW... My eight year old daughter drew the avatar. I didn't initially notice that mom was drawn in green. Hmmm, I always thought I was the alien.

Three NTs and Mom the NF or SF (the odd one out)? Nice avatar.

[Nighthawk]

At least I'm glad that INTPs can have happily married lives. Reassurance for the future.

I'm very happy with my ISFJ wife, and I never would have figured I could be happy with a Guardian. Have had relationships with NT, NF, and SP in the past ... so far SJ has worked out the best for me (although NFs are a lot of fun and would be great partners).

I do get a lot of interruptions, and it has taken me years of work not to blow up about them. If I'm not particularly stressed, I just put up with the interruptions and feel thankful that somebody values my thoughts or companionship. If I am stressed or busy however, I can still get pretty irate.

As for the irreverent comments, I keep most of mine to myself. My wife has learned to put up with them however, just as I put up with her interrupting me. I have to be careful during arguments however, as I can say some very nasty things that really cut to the bone. I've learned to leave the room when arguments start, and she's learned not to follow me.

[ohnoaninfp]

If she loves you she might find it funny, considering that you was just joking around.