WTF

[file cabinet]

so I spend some time to fill out the eharmony profile thing.. and here are my results:

eHarmony is based upon a complex matching system developed through extensive testing of married individuals. One of the requirements for it to work successfully is for participants to fall into our rigorously defined profiles. If we aren't able to match a user well using these profiles, the most considerate approach is to inform them early in the process.

We are so convinced of the importance of creating compatible matches to help people establish and enjoy happy, lasting relationships that we choose not to provide service rather than risk an uncertain match.

Unfortunately, we are not able to make our profiles work for you. Our matching system is not suitable for about 20% of potential users, so 1 in 5 people simply would not benefit from our service. We hope that you understand that we regret our inability to provide service for you at this time.

this fucking blows. argh

[EternalCynic]

That sucks. Those jerks *Shakes her fist that them* :rant:

[file cabinet]

btw, if anyone already has an eharmony account they don't use.. can I have it? I'm assuming you can change the search settings...

[flan2dave]

Doesn't it take pretty long time to start a profile?

[SheepDog]

I wouldn't join any club that would accept a person like me as a member.
-- Groucho Marx

[file cabinet]

Doesn't it take pretty long time to start a profile?

yes, but I didn't time it...

[cjs55]

I got the same thing when I tried file cabinet. At least you can still look at your results (I think)

[file cabinet]

I got the same thing when I tried file cabinet. At least you can still look at your results (I think)

yeah but I don't give a shit about the results.. arghh.

[Division56]

MAybe it's only built to handle SJs and SPs.

[ohnoaninfp]

happened to my brother too. Oh well those things don't even work. That's why there is no point in using an online dating service.

[KentOhio]

One of the requirements for it to work successfully is for participants to fall into our rigorously defined profiles.

Shouldn't all the women from the rejected 20% and all the men from the rejected 20% get together?

[file cabinet]

happened to my brother too. Oh well those things don't even work. That's why there is no point in using an online dating service.

what about the people who have met eachother from the internet and are now married?

[Hunter]

happened to my brother too. Oh well those things don't even work. That's why there is no point in using an online dating service.

What about me and hairlessbluetick? We met using an online dating service believe it or not.

[Almaviva]

I've heard that eharmony is biased against atheists. I'm not sure if that's true.

[Jezebel]

I'm not interested in a relationship or meeting anyone, but I was curious so I went ahead and filled out a profile anyway just to see who my great matches were according to them. Parts of my profile were accurate, but some was way off, like almost all of the last page (needs).

I thought it asked too much about me and not what I wanted in my partner. I guess the point is supposed to be that they are the experts and not me, but I wasn't very enthused about my matches. I don't think that even people with similar personality traits are all going to be attracted to the same type of person. But I'm probably just weird.

In case anyone is wondering what sort of personality profile they make but don't want to take the time to fill in the long questionaire first:


pg1 - overview

You will generally not act impulsively. As a result, others around you may perceive a slowness of thought or action. This results not from slow thinking, but from complete analysis of the situation before acting.

You prefer to wait until you're sure of your ground before acting. This might mean after several visits to a new place, or after a few meetings with a new person, you will feel more open to risk or share trust.

You tend to think before you act. As a result, the things you do will be purposeful and deliberate.

You may not jump in immediately for a new idea or activity. You may need time to consider all aspects of the idea before supporting it with time and talent.

You function best in an environment relatively free of conflict or hostility. When tension mounts, you may become silent; and if tension continues, you may withdraw or avoid the situation altogether.

You prefer not to seek quick personal relationships, but rather build relationships slowly. Once your relationships are formed, they tend to be lasting.

pg 2 - communication

When asked about your opinions, you may not share your ideas or opinions openly with those asking. You remain rather self-contained in social situations. Some may perceive you as aloof, but it's really caution.

Your strength is to bring stability, security and awareness of consequences to activities. In a sense, you may be considered as the one with the "conscience."

You will convey patience towards others in most situations. This patience comes from a need to maintain harmony. Others may read this as a strong stabilizing factor in your behavior.

You may be a steadying influence because of your restrained and unassuming way. You usually wait to be asked your opinion rather than offering an opinion.

Because you may not call attention to your own accomplishments, you may benefit from others giving recognition to you occasionally. Constant recognition may make you feel uncomfortable.

You usually communicate with others in a reserved, diplomatic and congenial fashion. You are a careful and analytic listener who will generally not offer ideas or opinions unless asked.

You dislike having to initiate new relationships. However, others may seek you out because you are a good listener, quiet and nonthreatening.

pg3 - improving communication

If you disagree, organize your thoughts before confronting your partner.
Take time during explanations.
Approach in an honest, sincere manner.
Take time to be certain that you reach an agreement.
Prepare your "case" in advance--do your homework.
Support ideas for change with facts, figures and logic.
Support principles.
Provide solid, tangible, practical ideas and evidence.
Allow time to ask questions.
Take your time and proceed slowly.
Be sincere and use a tone of voice that shows sincerity.

pg4 - strengths

You like to gather facts and think things over before offering a strong opinion.
You tend to be an objective, careful evaluator of situations.
You are skilled at being diplomatic with people in all settings.
You are very respectful of the needs and wants of other people.
You are generally good at cooling down tense situations in a relationship.
You are excellent at listening to your partner.
You tend to bring feelings of security and stability to a relationship.
You tend to have very high values.
You generally take pride in being a strong community member.
You tend to set and maintain very high standards for yourself.

pg5 - needs

Clear responsibility and clear lines of who makes decisions.
An environment free from conflict or hostility.
Scheduled activities with no haphazard or unplanned activity.
Time to react to new ideas and sudden change.
Activities which you can start and finish.
No sudden or abrupt changes in the situation.
A feeling of security.
A predictable environment with few surprises that are not "planned."
Tried, established ways of doing things.
Activities that may involve friends.
Recognition for your loyalty.
To feel important, but not be the leader.

[ohnoaninfp]

happened to my brother too. Oh well those things don't even work. That's why there is no point in using an online dating service.

What about me and hairlessbluetick? We met using an online dating service believe it or not.

It didn't work for me. When ever I go to a chatroom, I just keep getting assholes who want nothing but sex iming me. Seroiusly. :rant:

[file cabinet]

happened to my brother too. Oh well those things don't even work. That's why there is no point in using an online dating service.

What about me and hairlessbluetick? We met using an online dating service believe it or not.

It didn't work for me. When ever I go to a chatroom, I just keep getting assholes who want nothing but sex iming me. Seroiusly. :rant:

online dating service is different from a chatroom.

[ohnoaninfp]

Still I don't trust anyone. I tried out a service just because I was bored. It didn't work.

[sbw]

Shouldn't all the women from the rejected 20% and all the men from the rejected 20% get together?

I think you're talking to them right now.

Scott

[Utopmk]

I took the test just for fun. I was rejected. I already knew that my kind of girl would never be found on an online dating service.

[heeroyuy]

I hate people, and as such I tend to not care about relationships very often, and those times that I do care I will my emotions away if I need to. The key is that online dating isn't _bad_ really, but I guess I'd never be comfortable with a dating service in general. I'd feel like I was too...open I suppose?

Probably the problem is that you're not their "standard type" that just wants somebody who can shutup and be happy. Not as many people really want something in a relationship. That's one of the few things that sickens me totally about my close friends. But who I am to say anything, meh, oh well. My suggestion is find a service that actually tries to match _everyone_ and not just tell two people that they're made for each other. Ask someone who's done it successfully and is in a _real_ relationship.

I don't know where this is going, so I'm going to stop now before I spin this off into a topic about society and how much I hate it :)

[booyalab]

I read an article in US News or Newsweek about online dating awhile ago and some other articles about online dating since then. I remember some mention of the reasons for choosiness of applicants.
1. Men overwhelmingly make up the majority of online daters, so if there is a disproportionate amount of one gender over another in a particular area of the country....they will make special offers for the less-represented gender and limit the amount of members of the over-represented gender who join.
2. At eharmony, I believe, they will analyze your personality data for inconsistencies (usually evidence of pretending to be something you're not....most people aren't nuanced like INTPs) or 'unethical' traits (don't be honest! imperfect people need not apply). I guess this is how they maintain the 'quality' of applicants.

It's easier to argue over this second point than the first, because it's so subjective, but it IS their site and maybe they're concerned that certain personalities are less popular and more prone to being psychopathic than others. This is just what I read.