waxwing
28 Nov 2004, 04:00 PM
After it was suggested to me one time to snap rubberbands on my wrist when I felt self-destructive, I purposefully became more tactile. Now, however, I often feel the need to touch things, even smell them, for different reasons. I think I do this mostly when I am introverting to the extreme and need to start focusing on something in front of me just so I can function. I also think that I do this when I can't feel, when I am numb or dissociating. Perhaps, I need to get grounded. But the point is that it's not simply a negative experience for me anymore. Okay, moving on.
I am not sure what the point of this post is, except to kind of think about how intertwined the components of personality can be. I can see in myself how being forced by environmental factors to develop my S can lead to eventually feeling on a deeper level. Deep-rooted emotions may seem to be in a completely different realm, but really I am beginning to see how superficially touching something and being present in my body and in the moment or even looking at objects or pictures upside-down….these kinds of exercises, whether planned or not, help me to connect to my emotions; really, I think it’s amazing how we use a strong P preference, for example, in order to possibly develop the S, the F, even the E…. In a sense, all of this reminds me of how the mind protects itself after a traumatic experience. The way that parts may shut down for a while, the way that the memory is revamped, the way that it (the mind) and the person himself has to work intensively to integrate parts of personality that may or may not have been previously working together. Incredible.
If, for example, I look through National Geographic upside-down, I may be trying to do a few things, but lots more happens. Maybe I’m in an art class. The first step is fairly natural for me, to look at something from a different angle. But then, maybe I decide to cut parts of different pictures out and make a collage. Okay, different skills needed for this, although I am still heavily relying on perception. Then, what if the teacher wants me to think about a relationship that my collage represents? Suddenly, emotions probably play a part if they did not before. Talking about what a collage represents, in terms of a significant relationship, cannot be reduced to cold logic although the ability to make connections may not in itself require that one develops F. Funny how even the word connection connotes so much about ones personality. How do we make connections? How do we connect with others? How do we express how we make connections? And so on…..
For now, it seems the connections, perhaps the interplay, between elements of my own personality are helping me to answer those questions.
I am not sure what the point of this post is, except to kind of think about how intertwined the components of personality can be. I can see in myself how being forced by environmental factors to develop my S can lead to eventually feeling on a deeper level. Deep-rooted emotions may seem to be in a completely different realm, but really I am beginning to see how superficially touching something and being present in my body and in the moment or even looking at objects or pictures upside-down….these kinds of exercises, whether planned or not, help me to connect to my emotions; really, I think it’s amazing how we use a strong P preference, for example, in order to possibly develop the S, the F, even the E…. In a sense, all of this reminds me of how the mind protects itself after a traumatic experience. The way that parts may shut down for a while, the way that the memory is revamped, the way that it (the mind) and the person himself has to work intensively to integrate parts of personality that may or may not have been previously working together. Incredible.
If, for example, I look through National Geographic upside-down, I may be trying to do a few things, but lots more happens. Maybe I’m in an art class. The first step is fairly natural for me, to look at something from a different angle. But then, maybe I decide to cut parts of different pictures out and make a collage. Okay, different skills needed for this, although I am still heavily relying on perception. Then, what if the teacher wants me to think about a relationship that my collage represents? Suddenly, emotions probably play a part if they did not before. Talking about what a collage represents, in terms of a significant relationship, cannot be reduced to cold logic although the ability to make connections may not in itself require that one develops F. Funny how even the word connection connotes so much about ones personality. How do we make connections? How do we connect with others? How do we express how we make connections? And so on…..
For now, it seems the connections, perhaps the interplay, between elements of my own personality are helping me to answer those questions.