Chameleon Tendencies

[INTrPosr]

In Paul James' (http://intp.org/intprofile.html) description of the INTP, he says that
INTPs preference for intuitive perception (rather than action) with respect to people results in them resembling a chameleon. The INTP can fit into many different modes of behaviour, even contradictory ones, in order to get into the mindset of the other person. The goal is to gain enough intuitive data to analyse and assess the person. In doing this, the INTP remains somewhat reserved, never wholly identifying himself with his surroundings. As chameleons, INTPs are therefore approachable and open, unless the Ne tells the INTP that the other person is a type he doesn't like, in which case the reserved attitude may become too obvious. The chameleon behaviour can be particularly strong when discussing something.
How does your chamelelon-like tendencies show? I know that during interviews for the past two months, I have appeared ENTP to one potential employer and INFJ to another. I don't consider it a facade, but a mirroring of the interviewers. Then I wonder, are they going to expect me to be this optimistic all of the time?...... Is it worth the money......am I selling out.....

[sbw]

I can somewhat see this. If I'm in a conversation with someone, I sometimes notice that I sound/act a little different (often more outgoing), which could be me unconsciously "mirroring" the great majority of extraverts out there. And obviously, if I'm trying to "chat up" girls (recall, most people are SJs & SPs, and attractive women are no exception), it seems beneficial to be more, ummm, glib? (what I'm trying to express is "more talkative + friendlier + dumber (i.e., don't use big words)", does glib work for this function?)

Scott

[SheepDog]

I can (sometimes) be a chameleon to get along, or for intellectual curiosity. The degree to which I do that for a job interview depends on how hungry I am. Generally, it provides a short term fix, and working in a world that requires something quite unlike who I am eventually frustrates everyone involved.

The quote reminds me of someone I work with. I'm reserved but amiable with most of my coworkers, but there's this one guy that drives me nuts. I'm pretty sure he's an ISFx, very strong on the S. The way he phrases things is so vague and he jumps to bizarre conclusions based on faulty logic. I find it impossible to put on a friendly face with him, and I'm sure he knows of my contempt for him.

[Dunearhp]

It is not selling out unless you force it.

I don't think it is unnatural or deceptive to try to communicate to people on their preferred level.

Think of it as automatic line matching in order to get a better impedance match. Much like a modem adjusts to a particular telephone line.

[Groty]

Think of it as automatic line matching in order to get a better impedance match. Much like a modem adjusts to a particular telephone line.
Great Metaphor!

I am guilty of the playing a chameleon. I do agree with the statement from Paul James. "The goal is to gain enough intuitive data to analyse and assess the person." I know I'm testing a person to see if they are worthy of my time, attention, and conversation. I have these steps where I take the conversation, slowly adding more depth. Of course, most people fail, they can't do much more than snorkle.

[Sackanaka]

What Groty said, I've tried to explain to many people. I think it sounds a bit too ... idk, unromantic, for the F's and S's. Doesn't seem to unromantic to me though, since it means I'm being "true to myself." Besides, if I like a person it means I honestly do, not just doing it for the sake of nicey-nicey.
I tend to be a quickly-exhausted Chameleon :P

[cloakable]

It's funny that way. I type out as an extreme INTP, but around people I don't trust, I mirror their type almost completley. I suspect it's the NP axis coming into play, with the Introvert 'don't notice me' as a trigger. Where best to hide a book than in a library?

[Groty]

Where best to hide a book than in a library?
Damn, that's a good one! I'm keeping that one for later. Kudos to Cloakable!

[waxwing]

(cha-me-leon)

any of a group (Rhiptoglossa) of slow-moving Old World acrodant lizards that have a laterally compressed body with the skin covered with small granules, a prehensile tail, opposed digits, very large indepependently movable eyeballs behind eyelids partially fused to leave only a small central opening, and an extremely elastic extensible tongue which can be shot out nearly the length of the animal to take the insects on which it feeds, and that display unusual ability to change the color of the skin in response to both external stimuli and internal factors


I like the line, "very large independently movable eyeballs behind eyelids partially fused to leave only a small central opening." Kind of an apt picture for intuition, introversion, and perception. It seems that we INTPs do value independence and most likely have a natural reaction to "external stimuli" that may be very much propelled by other "internal factors." Appears to be a kind of mysterious adaptability that allows us to take in what we need to sustain and be sustained in society while rejecting that which serves no purpose. So, it seems that we can still be our true selves if it is, in fact, our nature to be changeable.

I'm okay with the idea that I may possess some of these lizards' characteristics.

[indie]

I can relate to the interview anxiety, INTrPosr . . . One of the co's I applied at (Gallup) has an interesting application process: you take an online test (similar to the MBTI) because they believe, certain "types" of people are better at certain jobs. . . the position I was applying for was research analyst, or something.

Guess I fit their profiles, because I got an e-mail from them saying that they wanted to interview me . . . but the interview would be on the telephone!

Let's just it's really hard to use those chameleon tendencies on the telephone . . .

:(

[Edmond Zedo]

Always; It's fully automatic. I believe it's one reason I (and other INTPs) only like to talk or be with one other person in general.

[Boneca]

Always; It's fully automatic. I believe it's one reason I (and other INTPs) only like to talk or be with one other person in general.You may be right in that. I've noticed that if I talk to a stranger I do imitate them to a certain degree, but if I'm forced to talk to several people at once, I fall back to my "normal" personality because I don't know who to imitate. Which basically means that I get along fine with almost anyone on a one-to-one basis, but in a group, only other NT's seem to like me.

[knome]

Ah yes the chameleon manuever. Usually when entering a new group I tend to 'cold shoulder' the lot of them, and over time pick up habits and customs from the group until I build myself into their groups dynamic (albeit inevitably as the rather odd lonerish one with all the weird ideas). I do this to any group of which I become a part. This process is probably simplified by my tendancy to group, catagorize, and generally not introduce people I know from different places to one another, usually not ever mentioning them to others.

[SheepDog]

Ah yes the chameleon manuever. Usually when entering a new group I tend to 'cold shoulder' the lot of them, and over time pick up habits and customs from the group until I build myself into their groups dynamic (albeit inevitably as the rather odd lonerish one with all the weird ideas). I do this to any group of which I become a part. This process is probably simplified by my tendancy to group, catagorize, and generally not introduce people I know from different places to one another, usually not ever mentioning them to others.
You're doing this now, aren't you?
;)

[Chill]

You may be right in that. I've noticed that if I talk to a stranger I do imitate them to a certain degree, but if I'm forced to talk to several people at once, I fall back to my "normal" personality because I don't know who to imitate. Which basically means that I get along fine with almost anyone on a one-to-one basis, but in a group, only other NT's seem to like me.

Holy shit. I do the exact same thing. What I find, is that I really can't start a conversation, or get one going. Once it's going, I can be funny, witty and all those good things, but otherwise, I have trouble talking. I don't know what to say. Of course with a group you've known for years, you bring up any old thing.

[franzgold]

You may be right in that. I've noticed that if I talk to a stranger I do imitate them to a certain degree, but if I'm forced to talk to several people at once, I fall back to my "normal" personality because I don't know who to imitate. Which basically means that I get along fine with almost anyone on a one-to-one basis, but in a group, only other NT's seem to like me.

Woa, I'd never thought of it that way before. It is true that I'm not comfortable acting the same way in front of a group that I do with some of my friends one-on-one. It should't be difficult to guess that I'm shy around groups. I'll go to social gatherings, but it's only really interesting if I can have a bit of real conversation with someone off in the corner.

[lauriep]

You may be right in that. I've noticed that if I talk to a stranger I do imitate them to a certain degree, but if I'm forced to talk to several people at once, I fall back to my "normal" personality because I don't know who to imitate. Which basically means that I get along fine with almost anyone on a one-to-one basis, but in a group, only other NT's seem to like me.
I have found that it is easier to mirror someone in an one-on-one situation but when in a group, I tend to be more myself or do nothing and just be quiet. Sometimes people that I work with are very surprised at what they see if they run across me outside of work, like at the mall or something, because I act so differently when I feel like I can just be myself. I've found that this can be very difficult when trying to make new friends because I don't realize that I'm doing it. I'll meet a new person and we'll hit it off but as the relationship develops over time, I'll become more comfortable and act more like myself. At the same time the other person doesn't seem to understand what's going on and starts to think that I'm artificial or something and feel betrayed that I am acting different now than I did in the beginning - ending the new friendship just as I'm getting comfortable with it. Also my parents droned it into my head to act like a polite, nice girl when meeting new people. This also causes problems because that's not exactly my true self but I still find myself assuming that role in new situations.

[Edmond Zedo]

"How glorious, and how painful to be an exception." --R. Crumb (Maybe paraphrased)

Sure. After a while the mirror tends to be displaced by myself, and most people think so differently and so much less that they're turned off by my analysis, pedantics, etc.

[CeSoirNoir]

I often mirror other people, sometimes without myself even realizing it. I'll talk how the other person talks, etc. At times it scares me, because its almost as if I can't control it.

[INTrPosr]

Geez, no wonder we obsess about typology. We have no idea who we are when around others. I know when testing, I prefer INTP, however, I do have an affinity toward helping people over just doing systems work. That appears NF to me.

[cloakable]

I don't know about that, but I am a strong introvert - I don't 'connect' with others easily, so what people see on the surface, so to speak, probably dosen't match what lies beneath. It probably lies in the strength of your own identiy.

[Clara]

It's funny that way. I type out as an extreme INTP, but around people I don't trust, I mirror their type almost completley. I suspect it's the NP axis coming into play, with the Introvert 'don't notice me' as a trigger. Where best to hide a book than in a library?
Damn, that's a good one! I'm keeping that one for later. Kudos to Cloakable!
It "belongs," in a way, more to you anyway - because originated by Edgar Allan Poe (who, interestingly, was raised in Richmond, Virginia)
"The best place to hide anything is in plain view." ("The Purloined Letter" 1844)

Another interesting thing he wrote (in 1843):
"In one case out of a hundred a point is excessively discussed because it is obscure; in the ninety-nine remaining it is obscure because it is excessively discussed."

Both of you, thanks bunches for giving me cause to go looking... I'd forgotten all those old writer guys...

[Clara]

Geez, no wonder we obsess about typology. We have no idea who we are when around others. I know when testing, I prefer INTP, however, I do have an affinity toward helping people over just doing systems work. That appears NF to me.I don't know about that, but I am a strong introvert - I don't 'connect' with others easily, so what people see on the surface, so to speak, probably dosen't match what lies beneath. It probably lies in the strength of your own identiy.
I think it's hard to keep those concepts distinct, in our understanding:

- preferring to use T / preferring to use F (as well as the often forgotten corollary: we're going to be strange individuals without *any* aptitude in the non-preferred function... like eating vegetables, it doesn't matter if we prefer to or not.)

- emotions, and ideas... everybody has an assortment of both...

INTrPosr, if you have people around you who are definitely NF or SF... they might give you tactful hints of whether they recognize you as similarly gifted, or not...

cloakable, I think MBTI isn't so much a measure of our essential selves, rather... the physics of it all... (thinking out loud, here, in half formed thoughts)

[zimbeline]

I agree. I don't like the phone as a means of communication, especially if the situation is to be a revealing one with an unestablished relationship, unfamiliar territory or confrontational. I much prefer meeting someone face to face. I rely too much on cues -- body language, tone, inflection -- little things that some people might miss.

I most prefer not to get involved, but to step back and observe unless the situation is one on one.
I guess I'm also extremely adaptable or so I'm being told lately.
I was told the other day that few could/would work my job under the conditions that I work -- they would quit because of it's instability and uncertainty. Things I take as a matter of stride most of the time.
I do find the position frustrating at times because I hate uncertainty and structure I find in information and systems -- not so much in a routine. Yet, I have to appreciate the challenge it presents because it requires me to be a chameleon and -- adapt. The unpredictablility reveals aspects of my character and of those I work with and around that are unexpected and fascinating.
I suppose I'll get bored with it when it becomes redundant or when I will no longer need to adapt -- or there is no more information to gather and process.
To be a chameleon at will to be able to gather information from unexpected sources.

[Biff_Loman]

Hmm. . . One on one, I definitely chameleon people. I am aware of this tendency, and sometimes I give myself over to it completely. I know who I am; why should I have to stay "me" all the time and just piss off other people (because I will)? It really hit me one day when I was talking to one person, had just said goodbye, then greeted another friend of mine who walked up to us. The first individual gave me a really funny look as my mannerisms and vocabulary completely changed.

In groups, I don't typically employ a lot of strategy unless there is a high level of anxiety. Normally, I slip on one of any number of personae that I've casually developed over the years, depending on my mood.

What is certain, however, is that I can be counted upon to stay quiet for some time, then deliver (as my wife puts it) a short verbal essay on some (hopefully) relevant topic. Typical.

[Autodidact]

Believe you me, I never new this was normal behaviour for a person. I mirror people all the time. This ability spooked me at times. I even mirrored accents and dialects! As said by many of you before I can't mirror in a group.

Wonder what mirroring tactics we use once we are aware of it.....

[Edmond Zedo]

I know who I am; why should I have to stay "me" all the time and just piss off other people (because I will)?

INTJs and ENTPs I've known, who are also not at all average, tend to do this. One ENTP in particular had this conversation with his co-worker (programmers), who seemed to me to be a nice guy. Paraphrasing the co-worker:

Co-worker: "I figure I'll stick around, do this, that, blah."
ENTP: "I don't care." <walks away>
Co-worker (to me): "Oh, he doesn't care. Ok." <walks away>

[daughterofeve]

hmm...

I don't know if I'm going at this the right way or not.. but the phenomenon that I've noticed is that while i tend to think of myself as the same person.. when my surroundings change, I change simply in relation to that.

I know.. it probably doesn't make sense the way i explain it..

but heres a few examples:
*~in a group of my peers, who have gone to public school (whereas I've been homeschooled all my life) I'm the quiet, nice one, with a tendancy to fly off into fits of crazyness (because this is how i deal with that group)
*~in a group of peers and elders (in church) I'm the smart one, who is always well known, but never able to make close friends.. yet everyone knows me, and i think i have a tendancy to appear too smart and too talented because of being prone to discuss theology all the time (this is always frustrating to me.. because it's the one group in wich I cannot change people's perceptions of me)
*~in a group of my peers that HAVE been homeschooled I am one of the popular ones.. i can talk to most of them (except the extreme introverts) and relate to all of them, this is where i feel at home.
*~at home, I'm me.. i can't really define me, because that would mean trying to see how my parents percieve me, and THAT is way too complicated.. but i know that i definately slack off too much, and talk all the time to Dad about theories and such.. Mom and i relate because we are both lastborns.. but we drive each other crazy because she's an E and I'm an I.

..and that's how i'm different in each group.. yet the same.. but different in relation to each particular group. It's one reason that no-one from the three former groups has met each other (thank goodness!)

[Edmond Zedo]

hmm...when my surroundings change, I change simply in relation to that.

I know.. it probably doesn't make sense the way i explain it..

Hmmmmm. You've defined the topic of the post, yet are oblivious to it. Damned unfortunate.

[lexiphanic]

It is a pity that we can seem to relate and communicate with anyone, but are to lazy to keep up relations with everyone.

[daughterofeve]

Hmmmmm. You've defined the topic of the post, yet are oblivious to it. Damned unfortunate.

see! TOLDYA it doesn't make sense the way i explained it! 8O

[melancholeric]

It happens all the time. Whenever someone approaches me. Before I knew anything about MBTI I had noticed this, and I didn't like it. It felt like a facade.
I suppose the chameleon tendencies are somewhat common for all NP types, their motives might vary though. I discussed this with an ENFP, and it happens to her too. Motives are different though.

[zimbeline]

In relation to this thread, I do have a question.

Does anyone else feel like they are essentially faking it in their every day relations with others?

Is this what ultimately serves as a reason to withdraw?


Originally Posted by lexiphanic
It is a pity that we can seem to relate and communicate with anyone, but are to lazy to keep up relations with everyone.

I would think that the energy it requires to mirror someone would eventually become too exhausting to maintain. So is it laziness? Or survival?
I can only bear to be around people so long before it simply gets to be too much and I need to recharge.

[coffeezombie]

I don't even bother faking being friendly with others. I used to, but I figured I'd rather have everyone dislike me than use up all of my personal energy pretending to be friendly.

[Warrior413]

Believe you me, I never new this was normal behaviour for a person. I mirror people all the time. This ability spooked me at times. I even mirrored accents and dialects! As said by many of you before I can't mirror in a group.
Yes I definitely can mirror people one on one. In groups I mostly just find a good dark corner or wander off.

I prefer the term Ninja Tendencies. :ph34r:

[lexiphanic]

I actually enjoy mirroring people. Granted, they have to be acting intelligenly enough and pleasantly enough to be worth interacting with on that level. Either that, or they have to be a pot junkie. I enjoy mirroring them. So much so that people question if I am also a druggie. Did I already mention that?

[melancholeric]

In relation to this thread, I do have a question.

Does anyone else feel like they are essentially faking it in their every day relations with others?

Is this what ultimately serves as a reason to withdraw?



I would think that the energy it requires to mirror someone would eventually become too exhausting to maintain. So is it laziness? Or survival?
I can only bear to be around people so long before it simply gets to be too much and I need to recharge.

It is exhausting on the long run. But satisfying. We, even extreme introverts, are social animals, and need interaction.

I'm not faking anything. Communication always happens on the terms of the other person. MY ENFP sister does this aswell, so it's not obviously a reason to withdraw. For her anyway. And neither for me. I actually feel like I need some more interaction. Not much though.

Nevermind. I am at such a weird place right now that I don't think I can analyze these things at the moment. I'll try it again Sunday.
Some week. Some year. Maybe.

[matthew0028]

Does anyone else feel like they are essentially faking it in their every day relations with others?

Yeah, at times.

At work (I work the register at a grocery store), I tend to put on an energetic, happy presence when customers come through the lines. And then I tend to mirror them when they react to my initial "hello." I guess I figure it's my job to keep the customers satisfied, and putting them at ease (by being welcoming, or not outgoing if they're not) seems to be a way to do it.

It's like they say, "It's all about sincerity. Once you can fake that, you've got it made."

[Birdsnest]

My problem with mirroring and being a chameleon is that I've noticed what people expect of me, I tend to give them. If they see me out of love and friendliness, I give that back to them happily, and I become that image.

If people have a negative image of me for some reason, even if its because I'm not a local, and they start out with a preconcieved idea of me as an outsider, I don't try to change that image. I don't try to proove them wrong no matter.

So, the chameleon thing is good in situations for learning about people, but then you've got to assume a persona of your own at some point?
Sure, I can fake being professional, courteous, businesslike, accurate, etc. But I can't fake that its not MY choice to be those things, so maybe thats whats coming through, that its not real.

Its almost like there isn't a public persona of my own. Yes, I relax and work with things, and have some personality, but I am lacking in a personal identity. Does this happen with other chameleons?

Well, a persona after all, isn't it just a shell, and isn't that what makes everyone clash, the ego persona? Maybe we know there is something fake about it, and our intelligence just won't buy it.

[Crazy]

I definatelly prefer one on one. In groups, I try to be what the group expects, as a whole, but one on one, I will conform to the other persons type, speach style and vocabulary, thought process, and even body language. My wife points this out to me, cause I don't even know that I am doing it. Sometimes it is hard to type myself, cause I wonder about things. Then only comfort I have is when I do the tests (which I understand are not entirely accurate) it was just me and the test, so there was no one to conform to. Because if this, I get into different groups, and I hate mixing them. My groups of friends stay seperate, and most don't even know I have other groups of friends. It's like living several different lives. But all I want to do is get some time to myself. At times I want to drop everything, go somewhere else, and start over from scratch.

Sorry for the rambling, I have alot on my mind.

[badgerheadsuperhero]

I am some sort of chameleon, too, to an extreme degree. I remember one time I was at school and roomed with this guy from Oklahoma - a total extravert. We only stayed together two weeks, but I developed an Oklahoma accent.

When it comes to artistic things, I find this to be true as well. I am a responder. I have a hard time putting down my own things or feelings in paper or writing, but once someone has, and has given some context to the discussion, I see possibilities all over the place. The blank page is the scariest thing to me.

[Seraph]

I do this all the time, except I seem to try to balance the other person's personality. If the person I'm speaking to is very introverted, I'll become more extroverted. If they're extroverted, I'll act cautious and reserved.

[lexiphanic]

Yeah, at times.

At work (I work the register at a grocery store), I tend to put on an energetic, happy presence when customers come through the lines. And then I tend to mirror them when they react to my initial "hello." I guess I figure it's my job to keep the customers satisfied, and putting them at ease (by being welcoming, or not outgoing if they're not) seems to be a way to do it.

It's like they say, "It's all about sincerity. Once you can fake that, you've got it made."

I did that too. Great fun when you have energy, can drag and drag when you don't.

[Valtro434]

I think this is an NT quality in general - those who are well balanced and perceptive can choose to not play their cards until they are about the other players hands.

When I have a job interview, I start slow and begin hyper pervieving the other person looking for signs of P vs J, N vs S and to a lesser extent, T vs F - E/I seems less relevent at the time.

Once I get a lock on someones likely archtype (SJ/NT, etc) then I try to tickle their highest intelligence (a la Keirsey). I play up diplomacy to the idealists and security and logistics to the guardian types, etc.

This all goes to the NTs quest for power over man and nature. Since I already know I am the best candidate for the job, it is up to me to help the interviewer reach this conclusion as well. Deep down, I am really just a humanitarian... ;)

[ObstinateBane]

It's wonderful to find your not the only one looking at everyone else walking around with rose colored glasses.

I've generally given up trying to be something I'm not when I can remember to. And I tend to agree that one on one is usually the only time I start acting like others.

I do tend to react in the manner I am recieved. If someone is smiling and friendly so am I. (Ya it's mostly fake, social niceties) But on the flip side if they're standoffish, ugly temperment, ect.. I respond in kind as well but it usually doesn't feel to be as fake of an (emotion?). Is that what that is?

[Kattia]

I was branded "The Chameleon" way back in junior high. Ever since, the concept has stuck. Yes, I've wielded my powers for both good and evil.

For example:
o I've almost always aced job interviews... but it doesn't mean I'm actually the best fit for the job.
o I've always been an obscenely good first-dater... but it doesn't mean that I'm actually compatible with the person.
o I can work a social occasions like a social butterfly... but it doesn't mean that I'm capable of establishing friendships with these people.

I've realized that although being a chameleon can be handy (and fun), it isn't always the best thing for us in the long run.

Two things:
(1) This mask-wearing-game can often impede us from developing authentic relationships with others. Instead of learning to open ourselves up to others, we use a coping behavior: we adopt a persona and play the role. Although often benign, it is still a form of emotional deception. See how that works? We schmooze the outside world, yet we don't need to risk exposure as to who we really are! Abso-fucking-lutely brilliant.

(2) Ah, the irony. We INTPs, who value independence so very fiercy, often MUST rely on outside cues to determine who we present ourselves to be. We are slaves to the cues.

"Should I be wacky? Calm? Introspective? Arty? Nerdy? I have no idea! Where are my cues? I can't go first! I have to see what other people are doing before I respond."

How, exactly, is that independence?

That being said, I'm working on it. (1) I want my relationships with people to be more based on emotional connection, and less on cold rational calculation. The rational calculation can make you lots of acquaintances, but in this Extraverted-feeling driven world... it is the emotional connection that ultimately carry the day. (2) I want to my independence to encompass not only my inner life, but my outer one too.

o I schmooze and "mirror" less at parties these days. Instead, I work on trying to present myself as I really am. This takes work because it's so much easier (and so much safer emotionally) to do the chameleon thing.
o I interview and date with an intent for mutual compatibility, rather than just seeing if I can reel another one in. Again, this forces me to be more honestly extraverted, which is a risk.

Maybe I'm carrying this analogy too far. Maybe my ramblings have to do more with emotional vulnerability than being a chameleon. Or perhaps there's more of link between the two than we would like to admit.

[Edmond Zedo]

I think you should Chameliorize yourself to the posters who are quick and punchy, like me.

"I'm a man who's sick, but I've got class, 'cause you only get respect when you're...Kickin' ass."

[mgb]

Just don't let him see what you look like....

[Edmond Zedo]

"Why's that, Drew?"

[Kattia]

Naw, why bother chameliorizing a fellow INTPs? The chameleon thing is an attempt to use our rational minds to interface with the more emotional world of interpersonal relationships. No need for that here I say!

(Anyhow, if we INTPs are all simply chameliorizing each other here, doesn't it become one of the "infinite reflections" scenarios? An MS Escher drawing freakishly come to life?)

[matthew0028]

Excellent, well thought out points, Kattia.

[andthesunburnedouttonight]

I very much like my ability to mirror the attitudes of others. I believe this is why I was so well-liked by my arsenal of acquaintances back in high school. However I'm not a big fan of the fact that I am unable to hide my disinterest in people whose personalities I don't particularly like. This scenario has occured more than once (with the same girl I should add):

HER: [whatever she's talking about]
ME: (pause) Cool.
HER: [looks me right in the eyes] You REALLY don't like me, do you?
ME: (long pause) I have no problem with you.

But anyone whose personality type I am not strangely disinterested in, I can easily maintain a fun and enlightening conversation with. Not long ago at work, a truck driver asked me a question. He seemed very calm and bored, almost stoned. After I answered him, I stopped and was struck with the realization that in full INTP-style, I had just unintentionally mirrored his attitude perfectly. I had basically given him an answer with a slow boredom to my voice, low in pitch, and expressionless of face. If I am having a conversation with someone who is easily exciteable, I talk fast, with my eyebrows up, plenty of gesticulation. If I am talking to someone who is very sarcastic, I will join right in on the fun. If I am talking to someone who seems somewhat unintelligent, my every word is automatically dumbed down (with plently of expressions such as "dude"). If I'm talking to someone who I perceive to be intelligent, I go professor on them and attempt to wow them with my dazzling intelligence.

For this reason, I am easily likeable.

[CreativeChaos]

This is what INFPs do as well. I was chameleon for the longest until I discovered MBTI and decided it was OK to be my "wierd" self.

[Edmond Zedo]

From what I've seen, INFPs are more "Karma Chamelions" than actual ones.

[CreativeChaos]

Karma Chameleons?

[Edmond Zedo]

Well..."Yes."

[s]

I once mirrored myself into a Public Relations gig.

*shudders*

[cafe]

I do the chameleon thing a little, not necesarily the same way an INTP would, though. I am able to identify with each party in a conflict most of the time. It used to really bother me that I couldn't just make up my mind and stick with one viewpoint or another (J at work). I realize more recently that it just means that I'm complex and open-minded enough to see several sides of an issue at once. I have a lot of facets and that's okay because they are all *me* but from different angles. Only a very *flat* kind of person is unable to see only one side of things. Truth be told, both parties in any conflict are in the wrong to some degree.

Heather

[matthew0028]

From what I've seen, INFPs are more "Karma Chamelions" than actual ones.

Or to the tune by Boy George:

"Karma karma karma karma karma chameleon. They come and go, they come and go~oo." :D

[sdl]

First post.

Chameleoning in groups isn't that difficult. Watch them for a bit, figure out who is the alpha, and then chameleon him/her.

As to why we chameleon... it's probably because our 'identity' is not really connected to the outside world. I define myself by my knowledge and understanding, and not really by anything else. If you take the body as the hardware, conciousness as the OS, the knowledge as the files stored on the hard drive, and the personality as the GUI... then defining 'self' in terms of the hard drive's contents, then personality is simply that pretty picture that you choose to present to the world and can change with a click from GNOME to KDE and the variety of themes contained therein. This is probably just insane babble.

[CreativeChaos]

Ok, I'm to lazy to put who posted what.

But I asked Karma Chamelians?

And EZ said "Yes".

You RAT! What the HELL is Karma Chamelian? You drive me NUTS!

:laser:

[headfonez]

yea i used to do this, but it is rarely if not worth it

[Seishi]

I think our chameleon tendency serves a practical purpose for our type. It saves a tremendous amount of energy! If I am in a new situation with a lot of strangers it is much easier to pick up this already existing appearance and use it than it is to develop another, especially since we all know I am definitely not going to be revealing my true self at this point. And as others have said, it's a very effective information gathering tool. Does anyone else notice that it is very easy to run this other behavior on the surface while busily analyzing and observing within? Also I notice that once I make sincere friendships often at the beginning the new friend will have a few "I never knew that about you!" moments and I have forgotten that I was mirroring when they first spent time with me. Adds to our mystique I think. :)

[Imen de Naars]

I'll bring my ENTPish view of the topic.
About the group-alone dichotomy; in groups, I tend to become more and more E, keep witting, questioning, quarreling - I may even appear a bit annoying; my behaviour could be classified as "smartass".
On one-to-one, instead, I feel more myself. I'm usually funny, but not annoying, talkative but not witty; probably I tend towards Introversion.
Motivations? I think the way I react to "things", things being events generally speaking. I can't let something escape my attention I can't help but commenting almost every sentence of the other people. This is obviously appreciated by other NTs but - you know - we're not really the majority...
On the contrary, when I'm one-to-one I can think before speaking, trying unconsciously to change my sometimes obnoxiously questioning stile into a more comfortable one; especially if my companion is an F.

[FescherAlsDu]

I was fighting with a friend that I, well, fight a lot with, and she kept saying how I don't understand her so she was just going to stop talking to me (She was an F) and I replied that I would never learn how to treat her if she didn't talk to me at all.

[stuck]

i had a job 'canvassing' last winter, which means standing out in the street trying to get as many people to give money to a nonprofit as possible. i absolutely became an ESFJ for every second of that job-in people's faces with love, sincerity, and strong opinions, with a direct and simple way that they could change the world for the better. total antithesis of being an INTP. it was exhilirating, and about 3 weeks went by like that.

it was really easy for me, i just tried it like an experiment. normally, i don't want to be in public even for a minute. i make people feel uncomfortable because i'm so introverted. i bet all INTPs could do this, because identity is mostly an amusment for us. we walk around with these caves of ideas in our heads, not really caring who 'we' are.

and of course, given the opportunity, i went back to my quiet cloudy life behind a computer.

i suggest trying to be an ESFJ for every INTP. it can restore your faith in humanity, at least.

[ciphersort]

i suggest trying to be an ESFJ for every INTP. it can restore your faith in humanity, at least.

I suppose.... if faith is blind. Not doing it.

[Technical]

From what I've seen, INFPs are more "Karma Chamelions" than actual ones.

lol. Classic.

[Zaij]

Before I even heard of concepts like INTP, I'd analysed myself and discovered that I frequently mirror other people.

[Limey]

I had this happen to me (yet) again last week.
At work, some guy used his own accent and then very quickly discarded it after just a few minutes of conversation (myself mostly speaking).
Except he sucked at "impressions" so it sounded like a constant piss take with an exaggerated lilt, like some celtic retard's " office phone voice".
He was almost certainly ISTJ (from being shut in a room with him for a week and watching how he went about fixing all the things I wrote his network up for).

So far, ISTPs and ISTJs seem to chameleon most in my subjective experience.

[kble]

Hmmm, OP is exactly what I do. Different parts of me are activated by different people - it's a very natural process, perhaps it comes with Ne. And I can absolutely relate to this and highly reccommend immersing yourself in an environment that's the opposite of who you "are":


i had a job 'canvassing' last winter, which means standing out in the street trying to get as many people to give money to a nonprofit as possible. i absolutely became an ESFJ for every second of that job-in people's faces with love, sincerity, and strong opinions, with a direct and simple way that they could change the world for the better. total antithesis of being an INTP. it was exhilirating, and about 3 weeks went by like that.

it was really easy for me, i just tried it like an experiment. normally, i don't want to be in public even for a minute. i make people feel uncomfortable because i'm so introverted. i bet all INTPs could do this, because identity is mostly an amusment for us. we walk around with these caves of ideas in our heads, not really caring who 'we' are.

and of course, given the opportunity, i went back to my quiet cloudy life behind a computer.

i suggest trying to be an ESFJ for every INTP. it can restore your faith in humanity, at least.


Then I wonder, are they going to expect me to be this optimistic all of the time?

Agreed.

[Stryfe]

i had a job 'canvassing' last winter, which means standing out in the street trying to get as many people to give money to a nonprofit as possible. i absolutely became an ESFJ for every second of that job-in people's faces with love, sincerity, and strong opinions, with a direct and simple way that they could change the world for the better. total antithesis of being an INTP. it was exhilirating, and about 3 weeks went by like that.

it was really easy for me, i just tried it like an experiment. normally, i don't want to be in public even for a minute. i make people feel uncomfortable because i'm so introverted. i bet all INTPs could do this, because identity is mostly an amusment for us. we walk around with these caves of ideas in our heads, not really caring who 'we' are.

and of course, given the opportunity, i went back to my quiet cloudy life behind a computer.

i suggest trying to be an ESFJ for every INTP. it can restore your faith in humanity, at least.Wow, just a tad under 4 years. That's one hell of a necropost!