Rearranging the furniture

[waxwing]

Grrrrr.

I really enjoy rearranging furniture, both literally and figuratively. Last night, I was rearranging actual furniture in my living room, thinking how accurately it was reflecting my inclination to play with possibilities and to always allow for room to change and revise.

Anyway, my point. Sometimes if others are present when I am "rearranging" they misunderstand my intentions and somehow believe that what I say "goes" or that my temporary settlement/arrangement is the final product. It is endlessly frustrating to me to get those looks and to feel that others may think I am ready to commit to the new set-up, the solution, the route, the relationship, the plan, the draft, or whatever it may be.

Furthermore, the past few times that I've tried to clarify my intentions while rearranging, I've only felt like I've been further misunderstood. I welcome thoughtful input and different opinions, but often I feel like people don't give them to me for fear that I might bite their head off or something. Really, I am not like that or I try not to be.

I do get input from those with similar temperment as it seems to come more naturally, but how do I not come across as a know-it-all when others, especially traditionalists, do not understand or appreciate my open-endedness? Is it a lost cause? Any successes? I can't understand how to go about just reaching a very basic understanding that when I am rearranging/brainstorming/improvising I am not presuming to know the right answer or to have some superior aesthetic vision. I am just playing. What is so hard about that?

[Dunearhp]

Instead of explaining it to them clearly, be vague. Assert that the pleasure of a lounge suite is in the journey, and that it is important for the interconnectedness of all things that the coffee table catch the morning sun from the east window. The television has been draining all of the energy pouring out of the kitchen. A change is as good as a holiday, and the longest journey begins with them taking their feet off of the foot cushion.

If they give you a hard time then build a zen rock garden in the bathtub.

[SheepDog]

I see how your furniture analogy can also be applied to all sorts of other things. I have noticed it a lot in discussing ideas. Expressing the idea is like trying a new furniture arrangement. It doesn't have to be permanent.

As one who also likes things open-ended, I must say that people who don't get it probably never will. With some people, I can say something to point out that we have a different preference for things being definitive. Sometimes that helps us see the other person for who they are as opposed to just projecting our own preferences onto others.

When you find someone who relates, it really is nice, though.

[Clara]

Instead of explaining it to them clearly, be vague.
And everything else Dunearhp said 8O

Get them into the process by saying things more likely to engage them in the process. If they're thinking, "Oh I know what you're trying to do," but they've actually jumped to a wrong conclusion, confusing them will help that, "Stop, back up, try again" process - so when they arrive at "I don't understand"... don't explain, add something else that's indirect. THEN they'll have to work their brains in N-ish ways... or will at least walk away understanding that they don't know (but eventually might). So, are you putting any musical instruments in the living room?

[jimkopelli]

Life needs save points. It wouldn't really work, but it would be cool. Just think... get ready in the morning, and as you walk out the door, save. Do whatever you want. Absolutely anything goes. Then start over and do it the normal, societally acceptable way. If you screw up, start over. If you merely don't like the way things are going, start over. You'd have to build in some sort of drawback... like you're still that much older, or you don't know why you restarted, and just have to try and not screw up... you'd just have some vague feeling that something went wrong, but you'd still have to find out where you should have zigged rather than zagging.

[Clara]

Life needs save points. It wouldn't really work, but it would be cool. Just think... get ready in the morning, and as you walk out the door, save. Do whatever you want. Absolutely anything goes. Then start over and do it the normal, societally acceptable way. If you screw up, start over. If you merely don't like the way things are going, start over. You'd have to build in some sort of drawback... like you're still that much older, or you don't know why you restarted, and just have to try and not screw up... you'd just have some vague feeling that something went wrong, but you'd still have to find out where you should have zigged rather than zagging.

:rofl:


(and yes, it would be horrible irony, and unjust, for INTPs to be subjecting other types to the "you're wrong to be as you are" attitude.)

[jimkopelli]

I think it would be a cool superpower, but a logistics nightmare for more than one person to have it. You'd have so many branch realities that it wouldn't be funny... or you'd see everything go black and think "Crap, somebody screwed things up again." It really plays on the "you're in your own little universe thing"... it'd be like you're the only real person, everyone else is just a figment of your imagination... wait, I've got it. When VR gets to a quality indistinguishable from reality, they can release SimLife. I'll be waiting for my royalties, if I'm still alive.

[Edmond Zedo]

"When you look into rearranging the furniture, the furniture also looks into rearranging you."

[howiec]

I do get input from those with similar temperment as it seems to come more naturally, but how do I not come across as a know-it-all when others, especially traditionalists, do not understand or appreciate my open-endedness? Is it a lost cause? Any successes? I can't understand how to go about just reaching a very basic understanding that when I am rearranging/brainstorming/improvising I am not presuming to know the right answer or to have some superior aesthetic vision. I am just playing. What is so hard about that?

Generally, I just explain what I'm doing, and, then, if anyone gives me a look to suggest that I'm not making sense, I just return the look, usually along with some comment about it. Of course, I do it in a rather playful manner, or at least a manner most people think is playful, and people generally stop trying to pass some sort of judgement over what I'm doing because they accept that I'm "quirky" and don't want to interrupt me because what I'm doing is by far too entertaining for them to watch. (I'm the type of person who, if given a "look" by a spectator, would take all of the furniture, pile it in a corner of the room, and proceed to talk to myself rather loudly about how wonderful it is to finally be able to make attempts at ballet dancing whenever the mood strikes me.)

[hemanthraz]

Life needs save points. g.

Cool, i like the idea!!
After many hours of playing strategy games, if i did a stupid thing like breaking a cup ...i would mentally beat myself for not saving and a few moments later, realize with sadness that i couldnt.

"Rearranging the furniture" is a good analogy.Though mine is limited to the mental ones. im too lazy to drag aroung chairs.Its true how other people cannot handle the way I change my whole thinking if i feel that a new idea is better. They feel betrayed i suppose.

o well, cant please everyone...dont want to anyway

[Killsteel]

I have some interesting (and possibly even relevant) comments to make. I find it very difficult sometimes when discussing ideas with people. When I propose an idea, certain people go crazy, and think worse of me for having that idea. They truly believe I am perpared to carry out the idea when really it's just that, an idea. It's a possiblity, and there's nothing wrong with listing possibilities. Also, often I find that I'm brainstorming with myself on MSN, because the other person simply agrees with me all the time. I find this almost as annoying as when they constantly dissagree!

Anyone agree with me? ;)

[jimkopelli]

I have some interesting (and possibly even relevant) comments to make. I find it very difficult sometimes when discussing ideas with people. When I propose an idea, certain people go crazy, and think worse of me for having that idea. They truly believe I am perpared to carry out the idea when really it's just that, an idea. It's a possiblity, and there's nothing wrong with listing possibilities. Also, often I find that I'm brainstorming with myself on MSN, because the other person simply agrees with me all the time. I find this almost as annoying as when they constantly dissagree!

Anyone agree with me? ;)
Yes and no. :devil:

[Clara]

:blink: =P ( - so are your exams all finished?)

[Birdsnest]

Don't have anything profound to say, just want to add that I also rearrange furniture a lot, more so when I was very young (age 4-16). Even in kindergarten, I used to move pianos, couches, all the furniture before parents got home to surprise them. Probably it is for the possibilities that I did it too. It was fun.