Employee to Manager: "I love you"

[optimalG]

About a week and half ago, I had this conversation with a female subordinate:

Her: Do you like me?
Me: Yes (not thinking much of it)
Her: Do you love me?
Me: ...uh...no
Her: Why not!! *slaps wall, hard*
Her: I love you!
Me: ...

She is 18, very attractive, and a potential problem for me. I am 25, her boss, and I like my job.
We have a seemingly professional relationship. Recently I have had to be kind of an ass & discipline her for her work performance.
She has called and shown up for specious reasons...always adding an "i love you."

What is going on?
1) She is genuine.
2) She is setting me up (she wants me out, because i'm tough on her)
3) She is crazy

What should I do?

[NRG]

WTF? Slaps wall, hard->I love you...

No good can come from this. Talk to your boss about it immediately. Never be alone with her, especially behind a closed door.

[outmywindow]

WTF? Slaps wall, hard->I love you...

No good can come from this. Talk to your boss about it immediately. Never be alone with her, especially behind a closed door.

Agreed. Not to sound super paranoid, but you can never be too careful, especially when it's one person's word against another's.

[nfinityi]

This girl is insane from what you've told me. Do you have the power to fire her?

[scroggzen]

Agreed. Not to sound super paranoid, but you can never be too careful, especially when it's one person's word against another's.

ESPECIALLY these days, when a dude can get arrested just because a chick claims that a guy harassed her.

[RottenApple]

18 and 25 . What are the generally accepted rules about this ?

Is 7 years too much ? I'm in a similar situation.

[Arcael]

Yes, this definitely sounds a bit on the odd side.

Perhaps you should have a sit down with her and talk about it before moving on to more drastic measures.

[rek]

hit it and quit it

[Samurai Drifter]

This girl is going to be a problem. Try to get her removed.

[fripping]

pump it and dump it

[outmywindow]

fuck it and chuck it


(I can play too!)

[fripping]

penetrate it and defenestrate it




tap it and scrap it

dear op: please do not take this seriously in any way

[outmywindow]

penetrate it and defenestrate it

:lol: Inseminate it and obliterate it. Or copulate and abdicate?

[fripping]

screw it and shoo it (away)

[outmywindow]

Pound it and pound it (as in lock away).

[fripping]

infect it and eject it





please it and cheese it

[outmywindow]

shoot it and boot it.

[fripping]

insert it and desert it

[outmywindow]

cleave it and leave it.

I'm sorry to leave the festivities, but I have to go to bed now.

[songbird36]

What is going on?
1) She is genuine.
2) She is setting me up (she wants me out, because i'm tough on her)
3) She is crazy

What should I do?

You forgot option 4) - All, or a hormonally-based selection of, the above.

[Samurai Drifter]

lick it and kick it.

[fripping]

love it and shove it

cock it then rocket

yeah we took up a whole page it must be quittin time

stick it and flick it

[songbird36]

penetrate it and defenestrate it


Haha! This is the worst rhyme but the best humour..:)

[RottenApple]

fripping made me blow coffee through my nose.

[songbird36]

fripping made me blow coffee through my nose.

Musta been a Latte..

=Ghosty face..

[fripping]

aw, shucks

[songbird36]

cream it and dream it?
squeeze it and freeze it?
schmooze it and lose it..

[fripping]

churn it and return it

[songbird36]

churn it and return it

Churn it, turn it, burn it, then return it :)

[fripping]

Churn it, turn it, burn it, then return it :)
and afterwards forever spurn it

[Geoduke]

Tell your boss about it.

Then germinate and terminate her.

[songbird36]

and afterwards forever spurn it

Especially if for some reason you ain't ever learned it...

[songbird36]

Tell your boss about it.

Then germinate and terminate her.

:theclap:

Damn...this is the best suggestion ever..

[fripping]

probe-ilize it and demobilize it

romancinate it and emancipate it

[songbird36]

Initiate, vitiate..then propitiate..

[fripping]

Initiate, vitiate..then propitiate..
finally delineate why you must forcibly unincarcerate.

[songbird36]

Find, bind, grind..don't b kind..blow her mind..

[fripping]

but be sure to remind her that after you've "wined and dined" her you're not going to rewind her. lounge in your recliner once your gimp has zip-tied her and you've fully key-lime-cream-pied her.

[PiccoloNamek]

Bore it and then floor it

Cleave it then leave it

Serenade it than grenade it

Sting it and fling it

Eh... I'm sure I can do better than that...

[Samurai Drifter]

Hump it then dump it.

[songbird36]

Rotate, vibrate, agitate, conjugate, palpate..with acetate.

[Oculus Sinister]

get her drunk and leave her in a shopping cart in front of her house without her undergarments.

[Pan]

but be sure to remind her that after you've "wined and dined" her you're not going to rewind her. lounge in your recliner once your gimp has zip-tied her and you've fully key-lime-cream-pied her.

Holy crap... I think this thread may have re-enacted the genesis of hip hop.

*mind blows*

[songbird36]

Holy crap... I think this thread may have re-enacted the genesis of hip hop.

*mind blows*

Yeah, he's Fripping-good, for sure..

I'm going to add the epithet "fripping" to my slang vocab now...it kinda works for me :)

[Geoff]

About a week and half ago, I had this conversation with a female subordinate:

Her: Do you like me?
Me: Yes (not thinking much of it)
Her: Do you love me?
Me: ...uh...no
Her: Why not!! *slaps wall, hard*
Her: I love you!
Me: ...

She is 18, very attractive, and a potential problem for me. I am 25, her boss, and I like my job.
We have a seemingly professional relationship. Recently I have had to be kind of an ass & discipline her for her work performance.
She has called and shown up for specious reasons...always adding an "i love you."

What is going on?
1) She is genuine.
2) She is setting me up (she wants me out, because i'm tough on her)
3) She is crazy

What should I do?

To get back on topic, if you care about the job, write an email which contains pretty much just your post above, and pass to human resources/your boss and ask for advice. At least this way you've volunteered the situation before it is used unhelpfully and unjustly against you.

And, in keeping with the rest of the thread.

Pork her...yay! Then walk away...

-Geoff

[Jasz]

About a week and half ago, I had this conversation with a female subordinate:

Her: Do you like me?
Me: Yes (not thinking much of it)
Her: Do you love me?
Me: ...uh...no
Her: Why not!! *slaps wall, hard*
Her: I love you!
Me: ...

She is 18, very attractive, and a potential problem for me. I am 25, her boss, and I like my job.
We have a seemingly professional relationship. Recently I have had to be kind of an ass & discipline her for her work performance.
She has called and shown up for specious reasons...always adding an "i love you."

What is going on?
1) She is genuine.
2) She is setting me up (she wants me out, because i'm tough on her)
3) She is crazy

What should I do?


i suggest that you be VERY careful not to get slammed with a lawsuit. at anytime, first thing you should do is advice both your immediate manager and HR.

[Jennywocky]

i suggest that you be VERY careful not to get slammed with a lawsuit. at anytime, first thing you should do is advice both your immediate manager and HR.

Ditto. Cover thy ass.

(Either that; or quit your job and run off to a tropical island with her, where you can live in squalor and bliss for a few weeks until you contract malaria or some other disease your body is unprepared for and die an agonizing death. Take your pick.)

I don't think the age issue is as bad, since SHE (and not YOU) is the initiator. It's more a matter of a boss romancing an employee that is going to create big problems.

I'll avoid the poetry. I think all the good words have been taken.

[563 740]

We have a seemingly professional relationship. Recently I have had to be kind of an ass & discipline her for her work performance.
She has called and shown up for specious reasons...always adding an "i love you."

What is going on?
1) She is genuine.
2) She is setting me up (she wants me out, because i'm tough on her)
3) She is crazy

What should I do?

You ever see the movie "Secretary (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secretary_%28film%29)"?

I say go for it - maybe she's a freak. :banana:

Otherwise... (Crap. I can't think of anything salacious to rhyme with "pink slip")

[optimalG]

Thanks for your help

I have a meeting today (getting a new boss) and the district mgr will be there. I think I will inform my superiors about the situation.

"Report her and deport her"

Thanks

[Ivy]

This is the best thread ever. "Penetrate it and defenestrate it" is my favorite.

Good luck at your meeting today, optimalG! And thanks for taking the rhyme-volley in your serious thread good naturedly. Let us know what happens.

[songbird36]

This is the best thread ever. "Penetrate it and defenestrate it" is my favorite.


Except that he'd "defenstrate" her wouldn't he? i.e. toss her out the window :)

[Ivy]

Except that he'd "defenstrate" her wouldn't he? i.e. toss her out the window :)

Isn't that what was being proposed? Maybe I got confused in the midst of my delight.

[songbird36]

Isn't that what was being proposed? Maybe I got confused in the midst of my delight.

Yeah maybe...you said "defenstrate it". I'm just being pedantic..

[sorabji_66]

she has a professional designation at the age of 18???

she's a super-genius.

[Moral Porn]

Milk it and bilk it.

[Stoned_Rider]

This thread should be rated NSFW. I've now got coffee all over my keyboard and my boss just asked me if there was a problem :ph34r:

Never judge a thread by its title is what I'll say. Can't believe I've been ignoring it all this time :D

[Jennywocky]

Never judge a thread by its title is what I'll say. Can't believe I've been ignoring it all this time :D

Oh, stuff it and rough it.

(I thought the word "defenestrate" was very creative.)

[Stoned_Rider]

Fuck, I've just realized it's all over my jeans as well. Crotch area no less. This is not funny. I'll be getting weird looks on the train this evening :sadbanana:

[Jennywocky]

Fuck, I've just realized it's all over my jeans as well. Crotch area no less. This is not funny. I'll be getting weird looks on the train this evening :sadbanana:

Time to defenestrate them.

[Stoned_Rider]

Time to defenestrate them.
Yeah, might as well. I'll also send fripping a bill. If he declines to pay I'll jack him then whack him.

[Jennywocky]

Yeah, might as well. I'll also send fripping a bill. If he declines to pay I'll jack him then whack him.

Inebriate, then annihilate him.

[Stoned_Rider]

Inebriate, then annihilate him.
haha wonderful. :devil: Diplomat my arse.
Of course, I could always opiate then incinerate him.

[Jennywocky]

haha wonderful. :devil: Diplomat my arse.

That's my working persona.



Of course, I could always opiate then incinerate him.

Hard-boil, then char-broil?
Flagellate, then marinate?
Constipate, then flatulate?

[Tayshaun]

Gargle then sparkle

[Jennywocky]

Lambast through bombast.

[ptide]

nail it then tail it. (as in run away)

I just wanted to be clever.. but I'm ashamed of you all at the same time.. now myself also.. oops :P

[dubbeltop]

Employee to Manager: "I love you

and so do my 5 kids waiting outside ..........

[kuranes]

*as though James Brown singing *

Hitch on up to that bitch
*wait a beat *
and
pump th' hump
* wait a beat *
OWWW

*repeat, using the "OWW ! " as a percussive break *

[venerationOFrabbits]

bender, then sender

[outmywindow]

*as though James Brown singing *

Hitch on up to that bitch
*wait a beat *
and
pump th' hump
* wait a beat *
OWWW

*repeat, using the "OWW ! " as a percussive break *

:D Excellent advice!

[Chaselation]

About a week and half ago, I had this conversation with a female subordinate:

Her: Do you like me?
Me: Yes (not thinking much of it)
Her: Do you love me?
Me: ...uh...no
Her: Why not!! *slaps wall, hard*
Her: I love you!
Me: ...

She is 18, very attractive, and a potential problem for me. I am 25, her boss, and I like my job.
We have a seemingly professional relationship. Recently I have had to be kind of an ass & discipline her for her work performance.
She has called and shown up for specious reasons...always adding an "i love you."

What is going on?
1) She is genuine.
2) She is setting me up (she wants me out, because i'm tough on her)
3) She is crazy

What should I do?

Document everything pertaining to her. Keep a journal if you are stuck with her awhile. Then...


You ever see the movie "Secretary (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secretary_%28film%29)"?

I say go for it - maybe she's a freak. :banana:

Otherwise... (Crap. I can't think of anything salacious to rhyme with "pink slip")
Put your dick in her, then pink slipper
Imac-ulate her conception then discombobulate her perception.

[kuranes]

Ask her if she's played "Petals around the stemsy" .

[Zephyrus055]

I'll take care of her.

[mgb]

You'll find as you get older that jobs come and go. But 18 year olds throwing themselves at you, that's something you'll be able to tell your grandkids about.

At 25 you're really on the cusp of that not being ok anymore. You're really going to have to prioritize here. I think you'll make the right decision.

[Petroleum Prole]

What the hell...
Over-emotional teenagers are sort of a danger zone.
I'd stay away.

[Runvardh]

What the hell...
Over-emotional teenagers are sort of a danger zone.
I'd stay away.

seconded

[563 740]

Put your dick in her, then pink slipper
Imac-ulate her conception then discombobulate her perception.

Give her the pink-tip/pink-slip combo.

Of enjoyment, you'll take assurance
Of unemployment, she'll take insurance

[Birdsnest]

Tell her you are polyamorous? (have lots of girlfriends).

or do what some guy did: Drive down the left turn lane, going the wrong way and act like you did it by mistake and are embarrassed. She will never get in the car with you again hopefully.

(Don't really do this! Just kidding).

[Anonymous]

Tell her you are polyamorous? (have lots of girlfriends).

or do what some guy did: Drive down the left turn lane, going the wrong way and act like you did it by mistake and are embarrassed. She will never get in the car with you again hopefully.

(Don't really do this! Just kidding).

And don't forget to add, "why do I keep doing that?!".

[TheNeutral]

Pound it and pound it (as in lock away).

Did you mean pound it and impound it?

These were all very funny. Thanks for the laughs.

[outmywindow]

Did you mean pound it and impound it?

These were all very funny. Thanks for the laughs.

Sure, that or 'pound' as in 'dog pound (which probably just comes from shortening 'impound' anyway).'

[MacGuffin]

PLACE-HOLDER FOR CLASSIC STATUS

[Andantino]

Why the resurrection?

Edit: I see, it was actually moved.

[manza]

wow. i hope he banged it and hanged it.

[rhinosaur]

I'm surprised that I've never read this thread.