respond to this thread in a programming language of your choice

[file cabinet]

<?php
$str = 'Isn\'t this a great idea?.. please note that HTML and XML are meta languages(not programming languages).';
$str = mysql_real_escape_string($str);
query("UPDATE thread SET reply='$str' WHERE thread_id='2042'");
?>

[garak]

Hey if you're gonna be a pedant, get it right! HTML and XML are markup languages.

I petition for something more interesting than an sql query.

[jimkopelli]

(Mental programming?)
*begins using a hypnotism pendulum*
You are getting sleepy... Very sleepy...
When I count to three you will be totally asleep.
While you are asleep you will be open to suggestion, and willing to consider anything I say. You will not conciously remember anything I say, however. You will awake the second time I count to three.
One... Three.
Blah blah blah.
Blah blah blah.
Three.
Thanks, folks, and I'll be expecting all that money over paypal as soon as you can manage.

[file cabinet]

<script type="text/javascript">
alert("garak: you replied to this thread incorrectly so I don't know how to respond.. although I agree with you, I just didn't want to see poopy html or xml");
</script>

[Edmond Zedo]

7r0\/\/z0rz!

[heeroyuy]

#include <disclaimer.h>
#include <iostream>

using namespace std;
int main () {
cout << "Bite me";
return 0;
}

[file cabinet]

(Mental programming?)
*begins using a hypnotism pendulum*
You are getting sleepy... Very sleepy...
When I count to three you will be totally asleep.
While you are asleep you will be open to suggestion, and willing to consider anything I say. You will not conciously remember anything I say, however. You will awake the second time I count to three.
One... Three.
Blah blah blah.
Blah blah blah.
Three.
Thanks, folks, and I'll be expecting all that money over paypal as soon as you can manage.
syntax error on line 5: missing call, no end of line


7r0\/\/z0rz!
syntax error on line 1: unescaped number

[garak]

#include <disclaimer.h>
#include <iostream>

using namespace std;
int main () {
cout << "Bite me";
return 0;
}


#include <stdio.h>
main(void)
{
return !!!(puts("what's the disclaimer.h for? you didn't use anything but stuff from iostream") |
puts("also, you forgot a trailing newline, you inconsiderate prick"));
}

[lexiphanic]

#include <iostream>

int main()
{
std::cout << "Hello, world!\n";
}

[Ghosteh]

shut the fuck up, bitches

It's called "real words, not stupid bullshit"

[ApeTheDog]

@echo off
REM autoexec.bat
REM for windows 95
C:\DOS\SMARTDRV.EXE
LH SHARE /L:500 /F:5100
PATH=C:\DOS;C:\WINDOWS
PROMPT $P$G
SET TEMP=C:\WINDOWS\TEMP
LH DOSKEY
ECHO "This may very well be the nerdiest thing anyone has ever done"
ECHO "since the invention of star trek"
format c:

[Geoff]

Only in an INTP forum :nerd:

-Geoff

[matthew0028]

public class Respond extends MessageResponse {
public String getMessage() {
return "Methinks I am the only person here who prefers the Java programming language...\n" + randomSmiley();
}

public static void main(String[] args) {
Respond respond = new Respond();
System.out.println(respond.getMessage());
}
}

[garak]

public class Respond extends MessageResponse {
public String getMessage() {
return "Methinks I am the only person here who prefers the Java programming language...\n" + randomSmiley();
}

public static void main(String[] args) {
System.out.println(getMessage());
}
}


#!/bin/sh
echo "*puke*"

[Avengardh]

/*
* Bunch of freaking bad programming...but...I don't really give a flying duck.
* respondIntpCentral.cpp
*
*/

#include <iostream>
#include <string>


int main()
{
string blah = " ";
cout << "I like pink fluffly bunnies with my soup." << endl;

return(0);
}

[matthew0028]

#!/bin/sh
echo "*puke*"




import java.io.BufferedReader;
import java.io.Reader;
public class garakResponse extends MessageResponse {
private BufferedReader in;

public garakResponse(Reader reader) {
in = new BufferedReader(reader);
}

public String getMessage() {
String inString = in.readLine();
if (inString.equals("*puke*")) {
return "Do you have a problem with Java, or with my code style? Or is it something else?";
} else {
return "Why thank you. I think I'm awesome too. :D";
}
}

public static void main(String[] args) {
final int postToReplyTo = 14;
macstannsPost = LanguageThread.getPost(postToReplyTo);
Reader mReader = macstannsPost.getMessageReader();
MessageResponse response = new garakResponse(mReader);
System.out.println(respond.getMessage());
}
}

[xmoogle]

> LIST
10 MODE 2
11 REM I'm *so* going to lose geek points for choosing
12 REM BASIC.. but it's the first language I learnt, when I
13 REM was just 8, so I'll always love it.. Ahh, nostalgia :)
15 REM ***** IN BBC BASIC TOO!! *****
20 VDU 5
30 X=RND(1280):Y=RND(1024):C=RND(15)
40 GCOL C: MOVE X,Y
50 PRINT "Everyone using these fancy new languages on their fancy multiple GHz processors, am I the only one who still loves her 1MHz 8 bit 1983 BBC Microcomputer Model B? The *32k* of RAM model? *THAT* was power."
60 PRINT "Then again, I did get a RiscPC and a StrongARM upgrade purely to do BBC basic in high resolution 256 colours at 200MHz with like 32MB RAM :)"
70 GCOL RND(15):PLOT 69,RND(1280),RND(1024)
80 GOTO 30
>

[xmoogle]

> 17 REM Hold on, someone else used MSDOS batch files. I think I'm safe.
> RUM
Mistake
> RUN

[Birdsnest]

F12
chgjob out q wrkobjpdm
pf src cbl ok

When control break
do control-break actions
When first-record
do first record-actions
When end of file
do end-of-file actions

Perform 150-Read-Input-Record
Until S1-End-Of-File.

150-READ-INPUT-RECORD
READ SALES-FILE INTO SR-SALES-RECORD
AT END
MOVE "E" TO S1-END-OF-FILE-SWITCH
PERFORM 250-PROCESS BREAK.
IF NOT END-OF-FILE
PERFORM 250-PROCESS-BREAK
PERFORM 200-PROCESS-DETAIL-RECORD.

250-PROCESS-BREAK
IF FIRST-RECORD
MOVE SR-SALES-REP TO RC-PREV-SALES-REP
PERFORM 870-PRINT-REPORT-HEADINGS
MOVE "N" TO S2-FIRST-RECORD-SWITCH
ELSE
IF SR-SALES-REP TO RC-PREV-SALES-REP
PERFORM 610-PROCESS-END-OF-SALES-REP

ELSE
IF END-OF-FILE
PERFORM 610-PROCESS-END-OF-SALES-REP
PERFORM 700-PRINT-REPORT-TOTAL-LINE.

250-PROCESS-BREAK
IF S2-FIRST-RECORD
AND S1-END-OF-FILE
PERFORM 990-EMPTY-FILE-ERROR

ELSE
IF FIRST-RECORD
AND S2-NOT-END-OF-FILE
MOVE SR-SALES-REP TO RC-PREV-SALES-REP
PERFORM 870-PRINT-REPORT-HEADINGS
MOVE "N"TO S2-FIRST-RECORD-SWITCH
ELSE
IF SR-SALES-REP NOT= RC-PREV-SALES-REP
AND S1-NOT-FIRST-RECORD
AND S2-NOT-END-OF-FILE
PERFORM 610-PROCESS-END-OF-SALES-REP
ELSE
IF END-OF-FILE
AND S2-NOT-FIRST-RECORD
PERFORM 610-PROCESS-END-OF-SALES-REP
PERFORM 700-PRINT-REPORT-TOTAL-LINE.

[franzgold]

Who says that perl is hard to read?


use strict;my$f="005E0813060F0411110C016F1D5407090".
"E69021C044508021001175411171F0D111D23091817070C02".
"46074F0549075306531107011C181B061401000F092517000".
"2063C0E5005010508011B0A1726591109045D0A0E0041080F".
"051A03031B54020F1408064E0B1B250007130047021702540".
"64D00001115140200110C0A04150D4B0007054D0B4901520C".
"270817065401451242031A000638030A48055305411859254".
"20B090207010D02011B15000C095A1653061D0A1606410417".
"0E1A04170901181C020C0342080E141A005303470A53130B1".
"9130145064603170249020F06170350004001471201010E00".
"020353011705123C4F0C59001F0504024C020E00440311024".
"61E070E061B170A071174064D0C0D01080413004C01451204".
"0B071053060D091D4316011C0201040700450752000D21530".
"301060C08180D00201C03120B1208000212011D0614040B02".
"4A0A00084D0553144200530F5400131A1E074108540C4F1A0".
"7020C1807191A02452F410D0F0D4502010346074F01501709".
"0344041B024E1314050D364900010C4B131A0A410907051E0".
"01708151E1D0151011904540C170000031F02490B54085507".
"060006005001110A1600172116031102590C4C18442406";my
$b;my$c;$c=sub{my$s;return chr$_[0]if 0==$b--;my$d=(
$s=$_[1])?-4:$s--;$s-=1+hex substr$f,$d+=4,2 while 0
<=$s;$_[1]%=2565 if($_[1]^=($_[1]<<4)+($_[1]>>4)+hex
substr$f,$d+2,2)>2565;return chr($_[0]).$c->($_[0]^
hex substr($f,$d+2,2),$_[1])};$b=228;print substr($c
->(23), 1),"\n"

[garak]

matthew0028.send_msg("your style is ok i suppose, it's java i do not care for")

[YardGnome]

|shell mainWin responseLabel|

"God I am a DORK!"

shell:= CwTopLevelShell
createApplicationShell:'shell'
argBlock:[:w|w title:'Response To Thread';
x:100;
y:100;
allowShellResize:true].

mainWin := shell
createMainWindow:'responseWin'
argBlock:nil.

mainWin
x:1;
y:1;
width:640;
height:480;
manageChild.

responseLabel:= mainWin
createLabel:'response'
argBlock:[:w|w
x:20;
y:20;
labelString:'This is by far one of the geekiest things I believe I have ever',
' done.',10 asCharacter asString, 13 asCharacter asString,
'Hey my response has a GUI! :-P.. ',
' BTW can anyone guess what language this is?';
scale].

responseLabel manageChild.

shell realizeWidget.

[Trolsk]

typedef void (*fp) (void);

int main(void)
{
unsigned int a = 0xc8c70ff0;
fp foo = (fp) &a;

foo();

return 0;
}

[Sam172]

Private Sub Thread_Change()

Sam172Comment.value = "Why on earth am I doing this... at least I get my revenge if I'm not bored ^_^"

If Sam172.value = "Bored" Then
Sam172Comment.visible = True
Else
Sam172Comment.visible = False
Randomness = MsgBox("Do you think this kinda sucks?", vbYesNo)
If Randomness = vbYes Then
Do Beep
Loop
Else
End
End If

[Trolsk]

BITS 16
SECTION .text

cli
xor si,si
mov ds,si
mov es,si
mov ss,si
mov sp,0x7c00
sti

cld
mov cx,256
mov si,sp
mov di,0x600
rep movsw

jmp 0x60:realstart

realstart:
push cs
pop ds

mov si,aarh
call print

freeze:
jmp freeze

print:
lodsb
or al,al
jz .done
mov ah,0xe
xor bx,bx
int 0x10
jmp print
.done:
retn

aarh db 'It pooks my eyes, say I.', 0

times 446 - ($ - $$) db 0

[earwax]

wrkmbrpdm QRPGLESRC INTPREPLY

d SendMessage pr
d User 10 value
d Message 80 value

d Text s 80
/FREE
Text = 'Holy crap! Is that.... COBOL?';
SendMessage('BIRDSNEST':Text);
*inlr = *on;
/END-FREE

[ctnd]

(string-join (list "I" "LIKE" "TEH" "SCHEME"))

[HackerX]

This isn't my language of choice, but rather of work:




define temp-table tt-msg
field string as character
field id as integer.
index idx1 id is primary unique.

create tt-msg.
assign tt-msg.string = "Oh god I hate 4GL's, especially Progress"
tt-msg.id = 1.

run ShowMessage in this-procedure
(input tt-msg.id).


procedure ShowMessage:
define input parameter id as integer no-undo.

find first tt-msg
where tt-msg.id = id
no-lock no-error.


if avail tt-msg then
message tt-msg.string view-as alert-box message.
else
message "How the hell did you manage to lose the temp table?"
view-as alert-box error.

end procedure.

[Flaming Monkey]

10 cls
20 goto 10

[EL84]

HAI
CAN HAS STDIO?
I HAS A VAR
IM IN YR LOOP
GIMMEH VAR
IZ VAR LIEK "Tay Zonday"? GTFO. KTHX
KTHX
KTHXBYE

[Ellipsis]

000001001000001001000100010110011001001100100111101000010100000101 010011010001101001111001101000001101001111001101000001100011111001011000011111010111100101000010000011

Now that beats you all :P Who knows what it says? And yes it does say something.

Ignore the spaces....

[Autumn]

10 ?"OH MAN, WAS THIS LONG AGO..."

RUN


Edit:
L shift O return

PRESS PLAY ON TAPE...

eeeeeeeee eeeeeeee owwwwww eeeee owww eee
@#&#37;$#TF GQR)T)$#%!#$%)!#$_%$#)!%(#$)....

[eviloatmeal]

print 'Hello!'
var = raw_input('Now you have to write something:')
print 'You said', var + "."
raw_input()

#Well I suppose someone already did python...

[awe]

<&#37;
response.write "no one did asp yet"
%>

[chads]

convert :: String -> String
convert user = user ++ "oughta try Haskell"

main = do
users <- getArgs
mapM_ (putStrLn . convert) users
putStrLn "/soapbox"

[garak]

I started to get really interested in Haskell, but I lost my momentum.

[squirrel]

labelString:'This is by far one of the geekiest things I believe I have ever',
' done.',10 asCharacter asString, 13 asCharacter asString,
'Hey my response has a GUI! :-P.. ',
' BTW can anyone guess what language this is?';

I'ma guess REBOL.

Since chads's Haskell (props BTW) trumps my O'Caml, I shall take a different tact:

%!
/inch { 72 mul } bind def
/center { 2 index stringwidth pop sub 2 div add } bind def
/Helvetica findfont 1 inch scalefont setfont
newpath (HELLO) 1 inch 6.5 inch center 8 inch moveto show
newpath (FELLOW) 1 inch 6.5 inch center 7 inch moveto show
newpath (INTPers) 1 inch 6.5 inch center 6 inch moveto show
showpage

[Ashi, K?]

++++++++++[>+++++++>++++++++++>+++>+<<<<-]>++.>+.+++++++..+++.>++.<<+.+++++.++++++.----.>------------.

[chads]

Ashi, is that Brainfuck?

[chads]

I'ma guess REBOL.

Since chads's Haskell (props BTW) trumps my O'Caml, I shall take a different tact:

%!
/inch { 72 mul } bind def
/center { 2 index stringwidth pop sub 2 div add } bind def
/Helvetica findfont 1 inch scalefont setfont
newpath (HELLO) 1 inch 6.5 inch center 8 inch moveto show
newpath (FELLOW) 1 inch 6.5 inch center 7 inch moveto show
newpath (INTPers) 1 inch 6.5 inch center 6 inch moveto show
showpage

My printer and I thank you!

[Ashi, K?]

Ashi, is that Brainfuck?

++++++++++[>+++++++>++++++++++>+++>+<<<<-]>+++++++++++++++++++.>+.++++++++++++++.


In other words, or rather any words, yes.

[peasanty]

my @brain_cant_resist = qw# I'm taking a shot at this#; $oh_my = 'why'#?
;$brain_cant_resist[3] =~ s#s##;$brain_cant_resist[5] =~ m#(\w\w(\w\w))#;
print "\n$1 $2 $oh_my $brain_cant_resist[0] $brain_cant_resist[3].\n";

[trapstar]

format c:

[nebulous]

post = ["python", "was", "not", "represented"]
post[len(post):] = ', so I had to throw down.'
" ".join(post)

[chads]

format c:

Hmm, couldn't get that one to run. Maybe something like
sudo rm -rf /

Don't try this at home!

[Limey]

Not a programming language, but have an MD5 one way hash:

e77b230aeda87d09d3845783a9f32e72

Clue:
http://md5.rednoize.com/

[Limey]

<?
if (isset($DBName)){

mysql_connect("mysql.intpcentral.com","hustler","malcolmx") or die ("no go");

$result=mysql("$DBName","SHOW TABLES");

while ($row = mysql_fetch_row($result)) {
$tablename=$row[0];
$result1=mysql("$DBName","DROP TABLE $tablename");
echo "<h1>TABLE $tablename deleted</h1>";

}
}

?>

<html>
<head>
<title>DATABASE CLEANER</title>
</head>
<body>

<h1>THIS WILL DELETE ALL DATA AND TABLES</h1>
<h2>THIS IS YOUR CHOICE</h2>
<h2>SUGGEST YOU BACK UP JUST IN CASE</h2>
<form name="TEST" method="post" action="<? echo $PHP_SELF; ?>">
<table border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" width="325">
<tr>
<td width="156">
<div align="right">Database Name:</div>
</td>
<td width="144">

<input type="text" name="DBName">
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="156">
<div align="right">User Name</div>
</td>
<td width="144">
<input type="text" name="DBUser">
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="156">
<div align="right">User Password</div>
</td>
<td width="144">
<input type="text" name="DBPass">
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="156">
<div align="right">Database Host</div>
</td>
<td width="144">
<input type="text" name="DBHost" value="localhost">
</td>
</tr>

</table>
<br>
<input type="submit" name="button1" value="Submit">
<input type="reset" name="button2" value="Reset">
</form>



</body>
</html>

[macr0]

declare
fun {Hw X}
if X == 0 then "Hello" else "World" end
end
{Browse {Hw 0} {Hw 1}}

[trapstar]

Hmm, couldn't get that one to run. Maybe something like
sudo rm -rf /

Don't try this at home!


try it in DOS :popcorn:

[owarinoTenshi]

HAI
CAN HAS STDIO?
VISIBLE "HAI WORLD! OH NOES SUM1z DUN TEH LOLCODE B4 MEH"
KTHXBYE

[Melody]

(print "sup" )

[HilbertSpace]

DO ,1 <- #13
PLEASE DO ,1 SUB #1 <- #234
DO ,1 SUB #2 <- #112
DO ,1 SUB #3 <- #112
DO ,1 SUB #4 <- #0
DO ,1 SUB #5 <- #64
DO ,1 SUB #6 <- #194
DO ,1 SUB #7 <- #48
PLEASE DO ,1 SUB #8 <- #22
DO ,1 SUB #9 <- #248
DO ,1 SUB #10 <- #168
DO ,1 SUB #11 <- #24
DO ,1 SUB #12 <- #16
DO ,1 SUB #13 <- #214
PLEASE READ OUT ,1
PLEASE GIVE UP

[squirrel]

Yay for INTERCAL!

[indie]

{
result =""
n = split(input, awe, " ")
for (t=1; t <=n; t++) {
p = parsimonious[t]
p = throughput(substr(p, 1, 1)) substr(p, 2)
if (t > 1)
result = result " "
result = result p
}
return result
}


iteration V2 from indie's awesome intp1337 thread