Liar, Liar

[helium]

So, you lie. Yes, you. You too, back there. The reasons are many. Many are probably good reasons.

I want to know about the times you've felt absolutely obligated to tell the truth, even when you've known a simple lie would serve you better, because you could have gotten away with it and, say, prevented an unproductive argument.

I have the hardest time when someone asks my opinion. I can nod and uh-huh and smile at some of the most ridiculous notions, but if someone asks me directly for my "honest opinion," I feel obligated to give it, even when I know it's likely to cause a rift that affects me materially.

It's like the sacrifice at those times is, to me, worth telling someone what I really believe, and I half-heartedly expect the other party to acknowledge that sacrifice. Instead, more often than not, the other party takes that as an opportunity to go on attack, forcing me into a bit of verbal judo to extricate myself. And I know I'll keep doing it.

Anyone else?

[airjaw]

Perhaps its the INTP's need to be objective as well as illuminate the truth, and with our ability to be detached, we find ourselves doing this more often than not

[KuJo]

I have the hardest time when someone asks my opinion. I can nod and uh-huh and smile at some of the most ridiculous notions, but if someone asks me directly for my "honest opinion," I feel obligated to give it, even when I know it's likely to cause a rift that affects me materially.

It's like the sacrifice at those times is, to me, worth telling someone what I really believe, and I half-heartedly expect the other party to acknowledge that sacrifice.

yeah, i really hate giving my "honest opinion". because i will, and its usually not what they want to hear. i can lie all day, but if someone asks me for the truth, i really dont feel like lying to them. i feel like they deserve to know.

[Blue]

In the case of any childhood dispute I was the goto kid teachers and parents would ask for the actual version of events. I had and still have hangups over lying. All part of a grand respect for The Truth(TM) I suspect.

[Prothero]

I spent years being suckered into offering my honest opinion, usually after refusing first, but giving in to the repeated assurance that it was wanted, and that it wouldn't offend; it wasn't, and it did.
That was years ago. Now I give the other person two chances to withdraw their request. When they assure me they want to hear it, I warn them that they won't like it (if I suspect they won't.) A few have been sensible enough to back off, and will go find someone else to say what they need to hear, but most will do a quick sales pitch recap of why I should endorse them, with the assurance they really do want my opinion.

At this point, they get my answer and can do whatever they want with it. If they remain rational and want to know why, I will explain. If they simply want to argue, I suggest they are probably right, and should listen to my advice. I don't really much care either way. Most will disregard my words anyway (because it wasn't supportive), and they always lack the courage to return for sympathy after their mistake is made.