Are you comfortable talking on the phone to people who you don't know well?

[Anonymous]

When it comes to meeting strangers or people who I'm very familiar with, I tend to rely a lot on my chameleon to make the contact go smoothly and make a good impression. However, when talking on the telephone, the ability to do the chameleon is very limited, as all we can do is hear the voice. This makes me uncomfortable with talking to people I don't know very well on the phone.

What about you? Are you the same, or not? If yes, is it for the same reason?

[rhinosaur]

Protest... When talking to strangers I chameleonate* very easily, and am pretty comfortable, but I can't say that I am "completely comfortable on the phone in all situations." Certain people make me very anxious.

On a related note, a few people can bring out hour-long conversations, but most of the time it's short and sweet, business concluded at T plus one minute.

*Yes, I made it up.

[booyalab]

I should've voted Protest.
I chose "no", but I'm not completely comfortable in all situations. Just the vast majority of them.

[Birdsnest]

I am very comfortable on the phone when its business. I don't LIKE calling that much, but I do it every day with top heads of any company or agency. Drains me after about 5-7 issues/calls though.

On the phone I'm not shy nor at a loss for words. I like straightforward, helpful people with no bullshit, thats what I appreciate from others the most, and thats my ideal model for behaving.

Nope, phones are just fine, its INTERVIEWS that I have an absolute morbid fear of and screw up on, and PUBLIC SPEAKING that I screw up on every time.

[Rhu]

It's the moments of initiating contact that make me the most nervous. If it's a friend I've known for years or someone I just met, the act of dialing and greeting are the hardest part for me.

After that, I can talk on the phone for hours without too much problem. I welcome conversation.

[outmywindow]

I am absolutely retarded when I have to leave messages on people's answering machines. It doesn't matter how well I know the person -- I could be leaving the message on my parents' or closest friend's machine -- I inevitably stumble through what I'm trying to say and end up hanging up out of sheer embarrassment without saying everything I needed to. I really don't call that many people, but among those I do, my answering machine skills have become infamous.

[Methofelis]

I never know what to say on the phone if the ball is left in my court or if it is a stranger. I am horrible at leaving messages: "Hi. Yeah. Well, I called. Yeah. Bye."
Usually realize that I didn't even say who it was after hanging up and have to debate whether or not I should call back and clarify.

I only have a cell phone because I have kids. Never know when an emergency may arise. I have no land line... never found use for it. I'm a phone retard.

[booyalab]

I am horrible at leaving messages: "Hi. Yeah. Well, I called. Yeah. Bye."

I never leave messages and I used to think it was because of cold feet, but yesterday I realized it's because I hardly ever get a call back. Though that could just be that all of my friends secretly hate me.

[abweichend]

I have a lot more trouble in casual situations (e.g. an acquaintance I just met...) than in formal situations (e.g. calling in to work). With formal situations, I usually have everything I need to say already planned in my head so I can just alter it a little bit depending on what the person on the other line says. In casual situations, I never know what to say unless the person is really extroverted and I can rely on him to lead the conversation.

[airjaw]

i hate being on the phone

[Spartan26]

Yeah, I've never been much for talking on the phone. I used to cringe every time the phone would ring at work. Half the time it'd be some megalomaniac screaming at me for money. Generally not for that person but someone else who you'd think would either A) have plenty to last through the w/e or B) was nanoseconds away from achieving cold fusion the kitchen sink and just needed that final push. Then there were times I'd have to call someone and wonder what kind of reaction I was going to get when I told them their name and number scribbled on a cocktail napkin wasn't going to fly with the bureaucracy that is our acctng dept for getting them paid.

I still hate the bs that is calling a female after an initial meeting. I swear it's like adding weights on to a run. I've had jobs where I've had to make cold calls and sometimes I get those "smile while U dial" cold flashbacks when I pick up the phone. And talking on the phone w/me is going to help you feel more comfortable with the prospects of going out with me??? Yeah, why don't I just tell you to meet me in the alley behind the Motel 8 when you first give me your digits and see how things go from there?

[HackerX]

I hate phone's in general.

But you're OP has given me an idea for another thread around here

[Llewellyn]

Comfortable for the same reason as OP's. It is comfortable when I am not myself, uncomfortable when I am myself (sometimes people start commenting on things then).

[Saeculustra]

I'm ridiculously bad on the phone with strangers. Which is particularly awful because my job now requires that a) I call and am fairly aggressive with numerous strangers per week and b) I have to listen to a recording of the conversation afterward, so I become painfully aware of just how incoherent my sentences are and how long a silence I can draw out with my nervous "um..."s. Excruciating.

[skip]

I dislike phones in general and cell phones with a passion. The former because they're inefficient and invasive and the latter because they're also costly and used too often as excuses for being rude.

[Vagabond]

Yes, but I am also uncomfortable talking on the phone to anyone, stranger or not. (Less so if I know you, but still, horrible)

Phones are the devil, I swear.

[Ckyzxr]

Talking on the phone is easy. I find it easier than in person sometimes.

To the OP's point, I find I can chameleon much better on the phone, no non-verbal communication that the other person can pick-up on. I also have been told that I am not the same on the phone as in-person.

The only problem I have is ending the call sometimes.

[bluebell]

I'm mostly fine with talking on the phone at work. I kinda slip on the work mask for it and can be pretty coherent and chatty, as well as being able to deal with difficult people.

Phoning friends OTOH, ugh! I hate it. I much prefer email or facebook for arranging to meet up. I'm also adept at leaving incoherent messages on friends' answering machines.

[Anonymous]

Phoning friends OTOH, ugh! I hate it. I much prefer email or facebook for arranging to meet up. I'm also adept at leaving incoherent messages on friends' answering machines.

Yeah, me too. For some reason, I freeze up, stumble over my words, back track, skip ahead, and then get even more embarrassed because I realize how little sense I'm making, spit something out and then hang up after an awkward goodbye. Although granted, that's me at my worst. Sometimes I can make it sound semi-normal, I think.

[bluebell]

Yeah, me too. For some reason, I freeze up, stumble over my words, back track, skip ahead, and then get even more embarrassed because I realize how little sense I'm making, spit something out and then hang up after an awkward goodbye. Although granted, that's me at my worst. Sometimes I can make it sound semi-normal, I think.

It's rare I can leave a semi-normal message on answering machines (unless it's at work and then I'm fine most of the time). The best one was last week when I was ringing people to invite them to a BBQ at our place. I left a very garbled message then went, oh shit, I forgot to leave my address and had to ring back *again* for the second garbled installment.

[manza]

Very few people can make me comfortable on the phone.

[edge walker]

I have no particular discomfort in phone conversations and with the nerd buddy I can easily spend an entire afternoon chatting.

The reason I hate the phone is that I work from home without any set schedule; while I love that arrangement, the price for it is that the phone may ring for work-related stuff at just about any time… even if business interaction is the last thing I want at the time.

[TPol]

Very few people can make me comfortable on the phone.

Same here.

Yet, because being on the phone has always been a major part of what I do for a living, I had to learn how to hide the discomfort....to put on the extroverted, "may I help you?" persona.

Edit to comment to ^: I work from home now, too, and get business calls here. It can be obnoxious, I agree.