joft
9 Feb 2005, 02:55 AM
this thread is not mainly about Battlestar Galactica unfortunately. Rather, it's about something that's been gnawing at my "soul" (cough). I'm not sure if this is an INTP tendency, or an IN tendency, or just a tendency of losers like me who have absolutely no "life" whatsoever, but does anyone else experience an immense desire for some type of fantasy story to be real and to be a part of it? I'm not so sure it's a loser thing either, because I remember being like this when I was much younger and in school and had friends and stuff (therefore, it is not teen angst either, cough). It's like having a dream that was so much better than what you're waking up to, and you wish so badly that the dream was real, or even just that you could fall back asleep and go back to that place. This usually happens to me with science fiction things, namely star wars, farscape, and now battlestar galactica.
It can get pretty intense; somtimes I lose my appetite for food. And I can just wander aimlessly through the days thinking about some alternate reality and whether it's unhealthy for me to want to escape my reality so much and so on. I've noted that this longing for a different reality is what managed to hold my interest during the years that I was involved in church. It's not even any kind of "deeper meaning" type of thing, I think it's every bit as shallow for me as simply being bored with this life and attracted to flashy, dramatic, fantasy stories. Even more pathetically, I usually fall in love with a character from that fantasy world, this is like the ultimate insulting thing to me. It's the epitome of irrational, yet I can't (or maybe just won't) stop myself. I have noticed one thing about it though, it helps to group all of those feelings into that one area, which helps me keep them in check with how incredibly irrational I know they are.
I think I should just go to a shrink instead of posting this stuff here. But honestly, the new Battlestar Galactica is awesome. I only started watching it two weeks ago, and just finished downloading/watching the miniseries (which I guess was like the pilot for the show), and I'm hooked. I never watch tv, and the last time I watched a specific show consistently was like 4 years or so ago when I watched farscape almost every week for a season and a half. The ONLY thing I have even the SLIGHTEST bit distaste for is their religion thing, but that's seriously nothing and I'm totally getting used to it, totally.
It can get pretty intense; somtimes I lose my appetite for food. And I can just wander aimlessly through the days thinking about some alternate reality and whether it's unhealthy for me to want to escape my reality so much and so on. I've noted that this longing for a different reality is what managed to hold my interest during the years that I was involved in church. It's not even any kind of "deeper meaning" type of thing, I think it's every bit as shallow for me as simply being bored with this life and attracted to flashy, dramatic, fantasy stories. Even more pathetically, I usually fall in love with a character from that fantasy world, this is like the ultimate insulting thing to me. It's the epitome of irrational, yet I can't (or maybe just won't) stop myself. I have noticed one thing about it though, it helps to group all of those feelings into that one area, which helps me keep them in check with how incredibly irrational I know they are.
I think I should just go to a shrink instead of posting this stuff here. But honestly, the new Battlestar Galactica is awesome. I only started watching it two weeks ago, and just finished downloading/watching the miniseries (which I guess was like the pilot for the show), and I'm hooked. I never watch tv, and the last time I watched a specific show consistently was like 4 years or so ago when I watched farscape almost every week for a season and a half. The ONLY thing I have even the SLIGHTEST bit distaste for is their religion thing, but that's seriously nothing and I'm totally getting used to it, totally.