Gossip

[Birnam]

Do you notice gossip? Do you gossip? Do people gossip to you (not counting extreme cases who would gossip to their reflection if there wasn't anyone else around ;) )?

I find that no one 'clues me in', so to speak, on anything that might be going on with the other members of our group (school, work, church etc.). As an example, at my job, one of the ladies had breast cancer and had to leave to get some tests done. When I came in in the morning she wasn't there and I asked, uh, where's so-and-so? to which they answered, 'didn't you know?' When in actuality I had no clue at all about any of it. sheesh, I'd worked there for a couple of years, you'd think I would notice something like that.
Is this a case of a sorely neglected Fe, or of Fi? (I hate that aspect of MBTI- it makes it complicated but ambiguous :mad: )

anyone else have a problem keeping up with the news? edit That would be personal news, about the people you know.

[Avengardh]

Do you notice gossip? Do you gossip? Do people gossip to you (not counting extreme cases who would gossip to their reflection if there wasn't anyone else around ;) )?


anyone else have a problem keeping up with the news?

I don't really care about gossip, but for some reason people are always talking to me about this person and that person, etc, etc.
I am always the last to know about anything...in the world too, unless I have read it somewhere, or my family tells me, I am clueless.

I don't watch tv.

~*Aven*~

[paladinoflunaria]

When people tell me about gossip, I tell them to shut the hell up and that I don't care to hear about any gossip. I don't gossip either, and I don't pay any attention to it when I hear it in a social setting.

I don't watch tv either.

[Birnam]

When people tell me about gossip, I tell them to shut the hell up

I suppose I'm too polite. I just sit there thinking about whatever it is that I'm working on at the moment.

I didn't mean my 'news' line to be construed as world news- but personal, comunityish news... :blush:
For the record I don't watch tv either

[flan2dave]

I hardly know what gossip is. Telling others who's getting together with who I suppose, or the prospects. I'm always naive about what's going on. Not that I wonder.

[file cabinet]

most information is on a need to know basis..

[Google Monster]

I hear it, but i do not do anything with the information because i couldn't care less. I do not even share the gossip for that reason. I watch tv but never any news. I usually watch pirated movies, much more music, discovery, history channels.

[nobarcode]

I despise gossip. I just won't particicpate at all in it. Nothing can make me zone out faster. In most cases, I'll tell someone I don't want to hear it right away.

It always seems to be a certain type of person as well. I stay as far away from them as possible.

[Johnny]

Most gossip covers the day-to-day, snapshot happenings - "So and so said/did such and such, and whoever was affected offered an immediate negative/positive response". Not that such things have no value, it's just that my attention prefers to focus on matters that aren't so specific and immediate. The people who get to know me know I'm not very receptive to it or support it very well, and it's no big deal. As I avoid gossip, and gossip avoids me, and the world continues to spin unmolested.

[Hope]

People gossip to me sometimes. More often, they treat me like an inexpensive alternative to a shrink and tell me all about themselves. I need to get a brown leather sofa and a box of cigars.

[HairlessBluetick]

People gossip to me sometimes. More often, they treat me like an inexpensive alternative to a shrink and tell me all about themselves. I need to get a brown leather sofa and a box of cigars.

Guh, ditto. I hate that.

All in all I hate gossip, though. When I've worked in retail a few times (*shudder*) that's almost the worst part, aside from the low pay, boredom, idiots, etc.

[Hope]

I don't usually mind it, up to a certain point anyways. I'm actually a little flattered by it most of the time.

[paladinoflunaria]

It's funny- when people gossip in my direction, they're always talking about things they got themselves into. Why exactly should I care to know just how stupid and foolish they are. Yup, they can shut the hell up.

I absolutely despise small talk, too. See the last sentence in the previous paragraph for it also applies to this matter.

[Horger]

I'm always the last person to know what's going on also, but I don't mind hearing gossip.

Sometime's it's pretty interesting.

[nobarcode]

I'm always the last person to know what's going on also, but I don't mind hearing gossip.

Sometime's it's pretty interesting.

Um. This is off topic, but whatcha doin' down there Horger? Rubbing your tummy? :huh:

[Claverhouse]

I guessed long ago, but I didn't like to say anything. :D




Claverhouse :ph34r:

[Spartan26]

People gossip to me sometimes. More often, they treat me like an inexpensive alternative to a shrink and tell me all about themselves. I need to get a brown leather sofa and a box of cigars.

Guh, ditto. I hate that.



I don't usually mind it, up to a certain point anyways. I'm actually a little flattered by it most of the time.

I'm kinda in-between. I think drunk people wandering up to me wanting to tell me their life stories ran me out of bars. But some times, in more private settings, I feel honored that people trust me so much to open up like they do.

[MasterMerk]

I never gossip, or care about other people gossiping. I just don't care.

[Crazy]

People gossip to me every once in a while. My typical response is "so" or "um...OK" Mostly with a tone of "and this has to do with me because?"

I also need a leather couch with a box of cigars.

[Miss Padfoot]

Actually, when I hear about gossip I often get interested. I don't actively seek out the latest news, but when I do hear it, I listen. I see day-to-day happenings like that as manifestations of personality psychology in action. Nothing helps you figure out what makes someone tick like a detailed description of their social lives.

And besides, I like conflict. I like to observe it, I like to think about it. I sometimes even like to participate in it. But mostly I like to observe it for afar. And I don't like parties too much, so the next best thing is to hear about what happens at these social events that happen when I'm at home online.

[INTrPosr]

"Great minds talk about ideas, :D average minds talk about things, :( small minds talk about other people." :angry:

That's my take on gossip!

[antireconciler]

Actually, when I hear about gossip I often get interested. I don't actively seek out the latest news, but when I do hear it, I listen. I see day-to-day happenings like that as manifestations of personality psychology in action. Nothing helps you figure out what makes someone tick like a detailed description of their social lives.

I'm with you on this one. I don't particularly care about the stuff that's going on in someone's life that they want to talk about, as much as I like getting a sense of the greater picture of who that person is. I care about them as people, but I don't care much about the weather in their mind. Where has the wind blown you today, tumbleweed?

[purple13]

I had a crush on a gossip recently. I didn't know she was a gossip when I first got to know her. I still think she's a really kind person. I'm usually the last one to know things too, on a social level at work, for example.

I wonder if it's more for entertainment value, or is there an underlying insecurity to always being in the loop about what others are doing, and how they act/re-act.

[Strephonade]

There seems to be a very low truth to fiction ratio to most gossip, so I usually ignore it completely.

[nobarcode]

I'm usually the last one to know things too, on a social level at work, for example.

I wonder if it's more for entertainment value, or is there an underlying insecurity to always being in the loop about what others are doing, and how they act/re-act.

That's classic. I've always seen through the important stuff while others are concentrating on "important stuff", which may be why I wouldn't "see" Brittney Spears if I saw her. It's a difference in how "we" process information.

I'm "in flux" in terms of judging it. B)

Um..except for this:

"Great minds talk about ideas, average minds talk about things, small minds talk about other people."

[purple13]

They say extaverts are energized by being around and interacting with other people, so.... if they're not making small talk, maybe it's just a form of entertainment (something to talk about - other than "things" or "ideas"). I'm not saying all extraverts are gossips, but I wonder if most gossips are extraverts.

[s]

I'm always the last person to know what's going on also, but I don't mind hearing gossip.

Sometime's it's pretty interesting.

Um. This is off topic, but whatcha doin' down there Horger? Rubbing your tummy? :huh:

:blink: Yea...what are you doing...

[Lucas]

This is from my post in the 'social anxiety' thread but it fits in here too.

An evolutionary psychologist named Robin Dunbar has come up with something he calls Gossip Grooming Theory. His observations of everyday conversation have found that over two thirds of all conversation is spent in social gossiping. I'll spare you the details, but he believes that all this gossiping has an adaptive value and replaced the great amount of time primates spend grooming eachother.

A readers digest version of Dunbar's "Social Grooming": http://faculty.ed.umuc.edu/~jmatthew/gossip.htm

What a big brain we have for all the small talk we make....
http://www.hup.harvard.edu/catalog/DUNGRO.html


-Lucas :hello:


"If being human is all about talking, it's the tittle-tattle of life that makes the world go round, not the pearls of wisdom that fall from the lips of the Aristotles and the Einsteins. We are social beings, and our world - no less than that of the monkeys and apes - is cocooned in the interests and minutiae of everyday social life. They fascinate us beyond measure. "(Dunbar, 1996)

[s]

I must admit that I gossiped the other day, because of this thread. I began to think about the concept of gossiping, etc... and once that starts, I cannot help but test my theories.

Anyway, I went to a social event in my tightly knit neighborhood and usually, you see, I alternate between appearing aloof and arrogant and boring people to death with "conversations" that begin with "Actually,..." There is this neighbor I have and she has wretched unsupervised children that she unleashes onto the street daily, talks to people only when she is about to hold one of her monthly events that involves bringing her a present, and she an overall emotional mess of an ESFJ. She irks me terribly (though I mostly avoid her),and when a fellow group of neighbors brought up her, we all proceeded to commiserate. For once, I had something to talk about to them that did not involve explaining why they hadn't seen me in weeks and weeks and what I have been doing ("Um, reading The Quantum Brain?")

Well, you see on this board nearly everyone seems to make observations about people (namely extroverts and parents) and that is not so different from gossip, because gossip is about making observations about specific people, namely ones you do not like. Now, gossip is not a high form of communication, but sometimes necessary when everyone is deciding on how to host an"intervention" on her behaviour, in order to better our quality of life. Or like a forum of INTP's, sometimes it is nice to know I am not alone and crazy... or at least, that I am not the only crazy one.

[Claverhouse]

I've always seen through the important stuff while others are concentrating on "important stuff", which may be why I wouldn't "see" Brittney Spears if I saw her.

Oh, you might.

http://www.intpcentral.com/uploads/r1256529356.jpg



Claverhouse :ph34r:

[nobarcode]

:D Ok, well I should have specified: outside of concert attire. But then again, if you walk around New Orleans or San Fran. long enough...

[jimkopelli]

What I hate are go-betweens. You know, "My friend wants to know blah blah blah but she (lame excuse)." I just tell them that their friend should just come and talk to me, I don't bite, and they always go off in a huff. Then their friend never shows, and I'm left wondering why they wanted to know. Grr.

I use gossip, if I catch it and it's pertinent, but I don't participate in the spreading thereof. You gotta take whatever advantages you can get, right?

[MacGuffin]

I use gossip, if I catch it and it's pertinent, but I don't participate in the spreading thereof. You gotta take whatever advantages you can get, right?

Right. I used to disdain gossip. But I have learned that since I am lost in thought often, I can be oblivious to subtle things around me. Gossip is then useful at catching up.

I don't really spread it though. Unless I have a friend that could use the info. I don't tell people just to tell someone.

[Birnam]

Well, you see on this board nearly everyone seems to make observations about people (namely extroverts and parents) and that is not so different from gossip, because gossip is about making observations about specific people, namely ones you do not like.


Ah, very true. I hadn't thought of that- in which case I am a gossiper ... those annoying ESJs ;)

Is gossip a form of 'comradeship'? A way of strengthening the them vs us mentality? A group of friends get together and beat on about the other group(s), while that group does the same.

I was trying to decide what exactly forms those groups in the first place. Circumstances certainly, but, with enough people thrown together, they separate. Is it by basic personality differences? hmmm. I'll have to observe some of them. Maybe some of you are 'in' one of these groups right now (I just moved, and so am an outsider still).

.../ramble

[s]

This is from my post in the 'social anxiety' thread but it fits in here too.

An evolutionary psychologist named Robin Dunbar has come up with something he calls Gossip Grooming Theory. His observations of everyday conversation have found that over two thirds of all conversation is spent in social gossiping. I'll spare you the details, but he believes that all this gossiping has an adaptive value and replaced the great amount of time primates spend grooming eachother.

A readers digest version of Dunbar's "Social Grooming": http://faculty.ed.umuc.edu/~jmatthew/gossip.htm

What a big brain we have for all the small talk we make....
http://www.hup.harvard.edu/catalog/DUNGRO.html


-Lucas :hello:


"If being human is all about talking, it's the tittle-tattle of life that makes the world go round, not the pearls of wisdom that fall from the lips of the Aristotles and the Einsteins. We are social beings, and our world - no less than that of the monkeys and apes - is cocooned in the interests and minutiae of everyday social life. They fascinate us beyond measure. "(Dunbar, 1996)

Thanks for posting such interesting links.

[adamaw11]

My main irritation about gossip, is when people seem to tell everyone
, everything that happens. And then the information gets distored aswell.

Its one of the things that makes me hesitate about joining in on small talk. One might ask me what I did on the weekend, but I have to assume they're going to tell other people, so I might have to be careful with the details.

The other funny thing that results from this, is certain people end up thinking I don't do much at all - if I too often have to revert to saying "naa I didn't do much on the weekend".

[jimkopelli]

I'll spare you the details, but he believes that all this gossiping has an adaptive value and replaced the great amount of time primates spend grooming each other.


Thanks for posting such interesting links.

So... he thinks gossip is the human equivalent of eating bugs out of people's hair? Seems like a fair trade.