Being strong

[Madrigal]

What do you think it takes to be strong and what do you need to work on to achieve it?


Has anyone ever told you that you are? Why?


Do you think people usually regard you as strong, or weak? Why?


What are some incorrect assumptions people make about strength?


Who do you know that's an example of strength? Why?

[rainfall]

What do you think it takes to be strong and what do you need to work on to achieve it?
Born strong. A weakling that gets pushed around a lot gets somewhat stronger, if it manages to survive, leveling up slowly. To be strong you also need to know who you are and what you want. Knowledge that you actually enjoy something in life, that you have something or someone to live for, that knowledge makes you fight much harder where someone unsure in their purpose would lie down.



Has anyone ever told you that you are? Why?
No. Probably because I don't come off strong, or because I try too hard to come off strong, overcompensating.


Do you think people usually regard you as strong, or weak? Why?
I don't know what they think. I know most people choose to fuck off when I look angry, but that's probably due to physical attributes.


What are some incorrect assumptions people make about strength?
Some mistakingly think that it is unlimited. Every man has a weak and a breaking point. Some have less weak points, and harder to reach breaking point. If they claim to have neither, they haven't been around the block long enough.


Who do you know that's an example of strength? Why?
[/LIST]
Maybe one person. I sort of feel their strength. It's probably deduced from body language and the way they act. They don't let others push them around, yet they can back down without losing their grace at all when it is the easiest solution.

[WhiteRaven]

I've come in here 3 or 4 times, wondering whether or not to reply. It is such a good set of questions and so few are attempting to answer, so here goes.


What do you think it takes to be strong and what do you need to work on to achieve it?

Knowing what is worth fighting for. Knowing when to ask for help. Knowing your weaknesses and either rectifying them or compensating for them. Knowing your strengths and not being afraid of them. Allowing yourself the time to do it right. Forgiving yourself for not doing it right every time. Trusting there will be another day.

The willow is stronger than the oak.

I need to work on taking rest when I need it, without the guilt. Of knowing my physical limitations.



Has anyone ever told you that you are? Why?
Yes. A few have, but the most recent time that sticks in my mind it was probably because the person knew I needed to hear it that day because I didn't believe it any more. Others have told me I am for making a major life change in the face of traditional beliefs in order to become more true to myself. Recently another did to keep me from being so hard on myself that I couldn't stand up.



Do you think people usually regard you as strong, or weak? Why?
Why do I think they regard me that way, or why do they regard me that way if I know it?
I have strengths and weaknesses. I don't know how others irl regard me. I have hidden enough of my weaknesses to not be considered a complete puddle, but right now I think a lot recognize I have very little energy left.


What are some incorrect assumptions people make about strength?

That it has to do with always winning, always being first. Some of the most shining examples of strength are shown in those who self-sacrifice. Those who do not give in to their first urge because they know more good will come from a different course of action over time.

That a person surrounded by people is weak; that one that does it alone is strong. I would have to write an essay. I'll let that speak for itself. It is something I have to work at, though.


Who do you know that's an example of strength? Why?

I have many. My mother, a polio survivor (wasn't crippled, but it is bothering her now) who helped raise her 11 younger siblings when her mother died at the age of 16 and still never stops helping whomever needs it. My great aunt who was crippled at birth who never stopped working, helping or doing a day in her life, and never complained about her situation. A person who could have destroyed me but saw that and let me go. 2V... I don't know how much he wants me to share here, but he deserves it. Certain students who make it to school every day over obstacles which would keep many in bed with the blankets over their heads. Jen and helium from here, for obvious reasons. Some others in here for not so obvious reasons, so I won't put their names here in case it bothers them.

The fear of being perceived as weak has been a great issue and liability for me. Never let them see you cry, never let them see you sweat... Guess what, my pride nearly killed me. You don't have to let everyone see it, but you have to choose a trusted few who will shore you up when you need it and kick you in the pants when you like the rest too much so that you will get up and go again.

I still have to work on it, and now that I am starting to feel better, I can feel myself wanting to take my more "weak" side and start to hide it again. I know better, though. I also think that the fear of being weak has a lot to do with my misogyny, but I don't know which is cause and which is effect. This is an area I am exploring.

WR

[airjaw]

Maybe I have a distorted view of myself, but I've never thought of myself as "strong". Actually, I consider myself one of the mentally/emotionally weakest people I know.

I have very low perseverance... My spirit will bow to the smallest sign of impending failure or adversity. I have definitely overcome obstacles in my life. I've graduated high school and college with 3.2 GPA, found and held several jobs, and generally taken care of myself - mentally, physically, emotionally. To most people it seems as if I am pretty "strong" but I know the truth. I've never faced any real challenges simply because I am too scared of what I might find out. My mind and ego are fragile.

I don't know if this is an INTP thing but I can think of so many instances where I have "chickened out", whether it be regarding relationships, choice (and difficulty) of college major, or just accepting responsibility for the actions I take (and don't take).

[Avengardh]

What do you think it takes to be strong and what do you need to work on to achieve it?
Has anyone ever told you that you are? Why?
Do you think people usually regard you as strong, or weak? Why?
What are some incorrect assumptions people make about strength?
Who do you know that's an example of strength? Why?
1. To be strong you need to fail. You need to experience and go through things most people would not go through because they sat inside their own minds shutting out the world instead of taking physical and emotional risks. To be strong you will need to experience fear and fall down but the most important thing of all is to come back up, to hit rock bottom and not let that overtake who you are inside, that's how you get strong.

2. Yes. Why? Because I am, the amount of things I have had to go through haven't changed who I am at the core.

3. I have no idea, but people don't really know me and very few do, the ones who do tell me I am strong.

4. Strength is not something everyone can have up to the same level, it depends on who you are as a person and what you want to achieve in your life. And even so this is no cause for feeling inferior or superior depending, you might not be a strong person but you might be really kind; the world needs all kinds of people and no one is "better" than anyone else.

5. My dad, he's old, he's gone through things on his own, he's still sane.

[helium]

What do you think it takes to be strong and what do you need to work on to achieve it?

I've been meaning to respond in this thread, but avoiding it. Avengardh's response though just struck a chord with me. My strength has largely come from trauma, from experience. I suppose I had no choice. But Avengardh is absolutely correct in identifying failure as a source of strength. That has me wondering if someone really can work on being strong at all. Is it possible to grow strong just by trying new things and failing, or does a person have to fail out of necessity to appreciate the full consequences? In other words, might not a person who merely tries and fails have manufactured his attempt and calculated his failure to such an extent that he exercises his fortitude only minimally?


Has anyone ever told you that you are? Why?

Yes. There are many reasons, some of which are highlighted in my blog. Typically people identify my demeanor in the face of addictions, abuses, and death as strength.


Do you think people usually regard you as strong, or weak? Why?


People usually do regard me as strong, if they have met me at all. Those people identify my consistency of character and my tenacity to principles as strengths. People who see me in passing may consider me weak, given my size, but even a few strangers have noted a strength in the way I carry myself, and they have identified it with terms like "confidence," "belonging," and "presence."


What are some incorrect assumptions people make about strength?


There are so many. I think the most insidious assumption is that certain qualities representing a type of strength at any given time are necessarily representative of strength in dissimilar contexts.


Who do you know that's an example of strength? Why?


Ms. H. She perseveres.

[ApeTheDog]

Ah yes. This is a good thread. The asses one was not bad either, but this one is interesting to read the replies to, and answer.


What do you think it takes to be strong and what do you need to work on to achieve it?

To be strong, in my mind, is to set your own wants and needs aside, and be able to do things because you know it's the right thing to do, rather than to do things because you're either
- pressured into doing them
- coaxed into not doing something just because other people don't do so either
- shortsightedly give up and cave in for what feels good, but isn't.

What do I need to work on to achieve this? This is one form of strength I have pretty much got under wraps, but there is one other kind of strength - the strength to let things be and trust other people's assurances and intentions - that I sorely lack.


Has anyone ever told you that you are? Why?

Yes. A friend told me once that in his entire 'career' he has known many people who bragged about not giving in to pressure, but that I am the only one of whom he can say he saw it with his own eyes. A nurse who had to give me shots in my ass praised me for my high pain treshold once, too. I suppose that's strength as well. Most people don't really mention it, though.


Do you think people usually regard you as strong, or weak? Why?

I don't know. I'm generally unphased by drama and trouble, and they might consider that a strength or they might consider my humorous take on things a weakness. Not getting angry and asserting yourself is a sign of such, after all, as well. But not getting angry to begin with, then again, can also be seen as a strength.


What are some incorrect assumptions people make about strength?

In my opinion, it is that people who are assertive and strong and won't take shit from others, are strong. They're not - they need to frighten you of, rather than let you come and fight you when the need arises. Assertivity and not letting people walk over you definately is a sign of strength, but only when it is done at a time when it is needed. Too much of it betrays a chronic need and fear, and ultimately these kind of people break under pressure soon.


Who do you know that's an example of strength? Why?

Many of the trench-bound soldiers in world war I. I can't imagine how they kept going.