INTPs, how do you greet people you see regularly?

[Delilah]

I have had people tell me once they get to know me that I am very difficult to approach initially, and find it funny that I am very open and not at all shy once that hurdle has been jumped.
Apparently it has something to do with my greetings, or lack thereof. There are people I work with that I see everyday that I have never spoken a word to, just a smile or a nod. Which is my standard greeting, I almost always make eye contact with a hint of a smile or nod, but no verbal greeting.
If someone doesn't speak to me first, I don't speak to them, even if it's just a "good morning", no matter what my mood is.
I get the impression that there are many more people who would like to approach me but don't know how, or feel welcome.

How do you acknowledge people you work with, or go to school with that you see everyday in passing but have no forced communication with? What about strangers, shopkeepers, bartenders or whomever else you see fairly regulary? Do you initiate first contact physically or verbally or do you wait until they do? How?

Elaborate beyond poll options please.

[Hustler]

I always give them a high five.

[Delilah]

I always give them a high five.

Do they call you Puddy?

[Jennywocky]

Part of it depends on my mood. Social contact always drains my energy, even if I enjoy the person I'm with... so if I am in a bad mood or have little energy a particular day, the deflector shields are up by default.

When I was younger, I tended to either (1) only respond if someone initiated the contact or (2) leap right into a topic of conversation with someone I already knew. There was almost no formality.

Twenty years later out of high school, I feel much more comfortable with my social capabilities and am aware of (and can follow) standard social protocol in terms of saying "hi" and engaging in conversation at the appropriate times. But I still prefer the other person lead the conversation, if it's not someone I know well. And often if the other person is quiet, I will smile and nod / make eye contact, but not say anything unless they engage verbally.

I usually try to keep open body language and make eye contact if I am "available for comment" -- so that others can initiate if they'd like. If I'm not in the mood to talk or would rather be left alone, I put out "stay away" vibes (no eye contact, closed body, fake-absorption in what I'm holding/reading, etc.) to tell people to not bother.

[Ptah]

I'd say they go first and I "mimic" (as the easiest/most natural dismissal in most cases), and move on back to whatever I was doing (or not).

If they just nod, I just nod. If they say "hi", I say "hi". However, if they try a high-five, I just look at them and render a default "hi" with a clear physical indication I have no intent on any physical contact of such an affected nature.

In general, I just want to get past it or get on with it (whatever we are meeting for/on about, or not).

[Madrigal]

Kiss on the cheek of course.

[Delilah]

Kiss on the cheek of course.

:ph34r:

[Madrigal]

:ph34r:

I'm in Argentina, you can't fight it. :mellow:

[Delilah]

I'm in Argentina, you can't fight it. :mellow:

*note to self, avoid Argentina*

[Madrigal]

*note to self, avoid Argentina*

Hey we don't have rabies. :P

[Methofelis]

On a normal day, I let others make the first gesture, unless it is one of my three exceptionally good friends. I wouldn't want to break my cool first. :ph34r:

On a bad day, I prefer not to bother doing the social thing at all, but if forced, I usually just give a return nod no matter what the gesture.

[Delilah]

Hey we don't have rabies. :P

Do you all wear tags or something with your shot dates?;)

Seriously, I can't imagine having strangers coming up and slobbering all over me everyday. I think I'd flip clean out.

[Park]

I'm fairly predictable. At work, I usually go first and I allways say either "hi" or "hi, how are you?". With family and friends, I throw a hug in with the "hi" / "how are you?".

[Madrigal]

Do you all wear tags or something with your shot dates?;)

Seriously, I can't imagine having strangers coming up and slobbering all over me everyday. I think I'd flip clean out.

Slobbering isn't polite, you're supposed to kiss the air actually or give them a half-kiss. If they actually kiss your cheek it could mean they like you.

[Delilah]

Slobbering isn't polite, you're supposed to kiss the air actually or give them a half-kiss. If they actually kiss your cheek it could mean they like you.

What does it mean if they lick you?

[Madrigal]

What does it mean if they lick you?

You got some dulce de leche on your face?

[Zephyrus055]

Do you all wear tags or something with your shot dates?;)

Seriously, I can't imagine having strangers coming up and slobbering all over me everyday. I think I'd flip clean out.
They do that in France and other European countries too.

[Delilah]

You got some dulce de leche on your face?

Yummy.........

[Anonymous]

I also do the nod and smile thing, and occasionally a quick verbal greeting when it's people I don't usually see (running across people I used to work with on campus, etc).

[Delilah]

I also do the nod and smile thing, and occasionally a quick verbal greeting when it's people I don't usually see (running across people I used to work with on campus, etc).

Yeah, when it is someone I have spoken to previously I may do a "Hey, how ya doing?" and keep walking or just "Hi" with a slightly bigger smile. I still don't initiate an actual conversation though.

Or lick them....hardly ever.......

[Sojourner]

Well, it depends on the person, doesn't it? I'm looking at the poll, and there's no option for "See if the other person is making eye contact, check that they're not busy with something else (i.e., a conversation), nod in greeting, respond verbally if they do so, and keep on walking unless they express a desire to talk to you without accompanying you, because if they want to walk with you, they can do that by themselves."

[Delilah]

Well, it depends on the person, doesn't it? I'm looking at the poll, and there's no option for "See if the other person is making eye contact, check that they're not busy with something else (i.e., a conversation), nod in greeting, respond verbally if they do so, and keep on walking unless they express a desire to talk to you without accompanying you, because if they want to walk with you, they can do that by themselves."

Since I was dealing with other INTPs I took that as a given.

:mellow:

Is it not?

[Nighthawk]

I make passing eye contact ... or try to ... if they do not, then I just pass without saying anything. If they do, I nod my head or give a short hello. Some people I know well and like will get the hello even if they don't make eye contact or respond. It used to bother me, when I was younger, that some people would not respond to a greeting. Nowadays I just write it off.

[Sojourner]

Since I was dealing with other INTPs I took that as a given.

:mellow:

Is it not?

Perhaps it is. But it's not a poll option. :happpy:

[Delilah]

Perhaps it is. But it's not a poll option. :happpy:

*screaming*

Why must you torment me!

[Sojourner]

*screaming*

Why must you torment me!

*cringe* I am?

[Roger Mexico]

Hey we don't have rabies. :P

It's not the rabies so much as the scabies.

And by scabies, I mean Manu Ginobili.

As to the poll:

I grew up in Minnesota. "Hi how are ya" means "You have been detected by my proximity sensors; do not make any sudden movements."

Oddly enough, greetings become less effusive as I get to know someone better. Close friends whom I see at least once a day grow accustomed to me simply showing up without announcing my presence. Wasted time and energy that could be spent on more substantive conversation.

There were a few female individuals I knew in college who insisted on hugging me every time we saw one another. I found it slightly odd, but I'd indulge them in the interest of not being needlessly contrarian.

Males in my circle universally adopted a customary three-part handshake as a standard greeting. I now unconsciously run through the steps occasionally with people who give me funny looks.

[Sojourner]

I grew up in Minnesota. "Hi how are ya" means "You have been detected by my proximity sensors; do not make any sudden movements."

To which I would respond:

They say things like 'How are you?' and 'Have a nice day' and 'What do you think of this weather, then?' What these sounds mean is: I am alive and so are you.

[Delilah]

*cringe* I am?

Not at all. I'm just crazy.




I grew up in Minnesota. "Hi how are ya" means "You have been detected by my proximity sensors; do not make any sudden movements."


That's why I say it, I am in no way asking how they are doing, that's just silly.

[Sojourner]

Not at all. I'm just crazy.

Well, I knew that. :ph34r:

[Anonymous]

Or lick them....hardly ever.......

I try to limit the licking to interviews.

[aether]

Ok, so the mass of INTPness has been invaded by non-INTPs. Great!

[Sojourner]

Ok, so the mass of INTPness has been invaded by non-INTPs. Great!

Where? :ph34r: :ph34r:

[Neppy]

I find greeting people to be easy, I just say hello and ask them how they are, y'know... small talk. Then I just hope that the conversation will start flowing.

In group situations it's more awkward, but I'll try to get in there anyway, and see how long I can go without saying something silly, or lapsing into a daydream.

[Ptah]

I find greeting people to be easy, I just say hello and ask them how they are, y'know... small talk. Then I just hope that the conversation will start flowing.

In group situations it's more awkward, but I'll try to get in there anyway, and see how long I can go without saying something silly, or lapsing into a daydream.

Ack! A confused extrovert! :peep: Back! Begone! Be hereby and forthwith abjured from this sub-forum! ( :p )

[Delilah]

I find greeting people to be easy, I just say hello and ask them how they are, y'know... small talk. Then I just hope that the conversation will start flowing.

In group situations it's more awkward, but I'll try to get in there anyway, and see how long I can go without saying something silly, or lapsing into a daydream.

Easy?

You talk right to them? Out loud? Really?

Why?

*edit* I really want to know why.

[Rhu]

I typically greet people with a middle finger or a mumbled provocative statement including some variation on the word "fuck." Such as, "You know what fucking sucks? Shaving. I've decided I'm going to grow a long uneven beard again." or, "Hi, mom! Let's fuck!"

[Delilah]

I typically greet people with a middle finger or a mumbled provocative statement including some variation on the word "fuck." Such as, "You know what fucking sucks? Shaving. I've decided I'm going to grow a long uneven beard again." or, "Hi, mom! Let's fuck!"

Aren't you afraid that your approach will attract psychos like myself?

You should be.:ph34r:

[Rajah]

And by scabies, I mean Manu Ginobili.:angry:




When I greet people, I typically hump their leg. That's common, right?

[Delilah]

When I greet people, I typically hump their leg. That's common, right?

And what happens if the humpee humps back? When is the next meet up?:smooch:

[Sierim]

That's why I say it, I am in no way asking how they are doing, that's just silly.

I guess I still haven't figured that out. If someone asks me how I'm doing, I lie and ask how they are (one usually doesn't respond, nor pay attention to my answer...I still wonder why people ask in the first place).

[Delilah]

I guess I still haven't figured that out. If someone asks me how I'm doing, I lie and ask how they are (one usually doesn't respond, nor pay attention to my answer...I still wonder why people ask in the first place).

When someone asks me my response is a smartass "well, i'm HERE" or "it's Monday. how do you think?" etc.

Like I said, I'm not looking for a "Well, my Grandma is sick , and I have irritable bowel syndrome that has been acting up, plus I caught my husband ass-fucking the dachshund"

I expect a quick, painless, walk through response like I will give them.

[Roger Mexico]

:angry:


What? He's a flopper.


If they see me regularly, they should have a decent working knowledge of my fighting style, so I greet them with a quick jab to the bridge of the nose. If they don't block it, they deserve it for not paying attention. If they start crying/ bleeding, they deserve it for being an ENFP.

[Rajah]

What? He's a flopper.Urbandictionary.com isn't helping me out here...

[Shades of Gray]

I used to barely respond to any kind of a greeting, other than a grunt and a vague nod, but since I've decided to actually go for a career, I've started to become more involved with those that I work with. I actually smile occasionally. I'll wave and ask how they're doing. I've tried to make some friends and get to know people better. I'll go visit people's cubes just to chat, or I'll go for something work related and stay to chat. I work in engineering, so the chat is usually something high tech related, so rarely completely boring.

I don't really see it as an enjoyable part of life, but more as a means to an end. To be seen as acceptable promotion material, you have to get along with others, or appear to, at least.

[Rhu]

Aren't you afraid that your approach will attract psychos like myself?

You should be.:ph34r:
Psychos tend to offer the most interesting conversation and make for interesting storytelling experiences.

So, no. I am not afraid.

:2up:

[Delilah]

Psychos tend to offer the most interesting conversation and make for interesting storytelling experiences.

So, no. I am not afraid.

:2up:

Clearly you're insane.

I like that.

[euterpenc]

I go with the old "errorless familiarity" approach.

[Roger Mexico]

Urbandictionary.com isn't helping me out here...

Going in for impossible layups just for the sake of drawing contact from a defender, then pointedly going limp and flopping onto the floor to exaggerate the impact in the hopes of getting a foul call so he can shoot free throws.

Like the little bitch that he is.

[Rajah]

Going in for impossible layups just for the sake of drawing contact from a defender, then pointedly going limp and flopping onto the floor to exaggerate the impact in the hopes of getting a foul call so he can shoot free throws.

Like the little bitch that he is.So you're saying I'm Kobe?


:angry:

[Kathara]

It depends on how I feel about the people I greet. Friends get a smile, everybody else a stern "Good Ddy!"

[Spartan26]

I used to be accused of giving a fake smile but I don't get that so much any more. Some would say that after they get to know me and realize that's the norm that I wasn't being insincere, they'd tell me they thought I was faking it.

At work, for people I don't really know I'll give a quick smile and nod. People high up on the food chain I'll give a more formal "hey" or "hello." If it's at a distance, I'll point and nod my head back. If it's someone I'm closer to I may give a little dap. Maybe knuckles.

At church, it's usually a hug for the women, hand shake for older men, my peers would be hand shake-pull into chest-half hug.

That same thing for friends I haven't seen in a while but generally just some dap.

[DeadDove]

Depends on where I'm at. If it's work with my co-workers I'll just say, "Hey," in passing. If it's at a bar, I'll typically shake hands if I get along with the person...if there's a person I don't care for in the group and the guys I'm cool with are around that person, I'll just pat that person on the back n move on n shake hands with everyone else. All my female friends initiate first contact with me saying "Hey Mike," and hug me. For people I don't know I'll wait for them to talk to me, or see something they are looking at then comment if I have remark I can't keep to myself. One older lady that volunteers at my work would get mad at me because I wouldn't say, "Good morning," and have a conversation when I first saw her, and I'm thinking to myself, _ _ _ _ _ I'm here to work, you're here to socialize...I'm busy 99% of the time you see me in the morning. Now I just say good morning, and run away right after before I get sucked into a 2 hour long conversation that would make you want to rip your ears off after 5 mins, just so I won't get a damn lecture. I typically am better at greetings though than goodbyes, prob. because by that time I'm tired n ready to leave wherever I am.

[C-StoLibFro]

I usually just jump straight into conversation without giving a greeting if I know them well.

[lpethe]

Depends on the situation.

Used to be when I worked, a smile and a nod for all if they were right in front of me. Until one boss confronted me about my habit of coming in, setting things up, and then greeting her. I appreciated her bluntness and it was easy enough to accommodate so got into the habit of greeting first. After that, at work there were two categories: people I work closely or converse with regularly get a greeting initiated by me, others get smile and nod if I see them within a few minutes of arrival.

Worked at a Lebanese place for a while that used the habit of kissing cheeks (also used with my ex's family). As far as physical greetings go (handshake included) I prefer this method. It's a lot less invasive than hugs, and there are no questions about timing, placement, or pressure. I wish it was even more common place.

People I see everyday and expect to see get smile and nod or nothing depending on how expected it was to see them at that moment. The more expected, the less of a greeting. If I'm busy or unable to face them I may give a "hey".

New people I prefer to go through the more formal introduction and handshake. Friends or people I know well but don't see often get "I know that guy/girl!" No idea why I say this, but it seems to work.

[gardnerj]

"yo"

[INA]

I go first and say hello. Depending on how well I know them (i.e.: if we've spoken before at reasonable length) I have a brief conversation.

To me it is both rude and odd to act like a mute Gimli with people you run into regularly.

[Delilah]

I go first and say hello. Depending on how well I know them (i.e.: if we've spoken before at reasonable length) I have a brief conversation.

When you see them everyday? What the hell is there to talk about every single day with people that you have absolutely no interest in whatsoever?

[Jennywocky]

I actually engage people first most of the time now, and with small-talk conversation.

But this is not an inborn skill. My natural approach in my teens was to say nothing and to wait for them to initiate and otherwise say nothing.

I had to build my social skills over the last 10-20 years to get to this point, and now I enjoy the benefits, it's actually sort of nice... but when I'm tired or sick, you might as well kiss off because I'm too spent to invest and I revert.


When you see them everyday? What the hell is there to talk about every single day with people that you have absolutely no interest in whatsoever?

I don't do it every day, but at work if I haven't really talked to someone for a week and they give me a substantial reply, I follow up on it and we have a short chat. You're right, on a daily basis there ain't that much to say.

[LastRailway]

People at work, some generic nod, and, if they greet me first, just mimic their greeting. Some people I'm more fond of, I usually engage to some short chat with them.
People at the neighbourhood, usually wait them to greet me first and then answer.
Friends I randomly ran across, some smile or some short chat.

[INA]

When you see them everyday? What the hell is there to talk about every single day with people that you have absolutely no interest in whatsoever?

I can't think of anyone I see everyday. If if I did, it would probably be in passing, so a brief greeting is fine. Otherwise, I second Jennifer:

I don't do it every day, but at work if I haven't really talked to someone for a week and they give me a substantial reply, I follow up on it and we have a short chat.
Whatever it is, it's not grunting avoidance.

[Jennywocky]

...Whatever it is, it's not grunting avoidance.

I'm also a mooch, so the more people I suck up to on a regular basis, the more free goodies I tend to get on snack day. :banana:

[INA]

lol. I suck at sucking up, so I don't bother, but I see no point in being unpleasant.

[Delilah]

Oh, no. I am never unpleasant, I am actually painfully polite, but that doesn't mean I have to strike up even a brief conversation. I think smiling is more than sufficient.

[Works]

What? How come you don't have the option for a kiss on each cheek followed by a quick HJ?

I tend to just say "HeeeeEEey" and leave it at that.

[INA]

Oh, no. I am never unpleasant, I am actually painfully polite, but that doesn't mean I have to strike up even a brief conversation.
That would be tiring to do for most people. I save the chitchat for people I know better than in passing. the rest get a hello.

[Delilah]

What? How come you don't have the option for a kiss on each cheek followed by a quick HJ?

I do, I call it "the Works special" and if I had known you would be voting I would have added it.

[Works]

I do, I call it "the Works special" and if I had known you would be voting I would have added it.

Well, I know I didn't get carpel tunnel from typing.