do you get the feeling people don't trust you?

[demagogic_schizoid]

:ph34r:

[puzzled-observer]

Not really. I think i generally come off as trustworthy.

[Oso Mocoso]

<looking surprised to see Demagogic, conceals knife>

"This isn't what it looks like. I swear to God that guy was dead when I got here. You believe me, right?"

[Shades of Gray]

I was going to say that it depends on your context, but once I started breaking it down, this is what I came up with:

Do they trust my ideas and predictions of events in the future? Not generally, though I have won over one of my friends. If I say it's just a feeling I have, and can't really explain, he'll stick with me to the end. My work generally doesn't care about future predictions. They want things that solve problems right now, and we'll deal with future issues when they arrive. :banghead:

Do they trust that I'll complete tasks as I say I will? Not a chance. There are very few people that feel I ever follow through with anything. My parents, friends, wife, work all say that I'm terrible at details. My work likes that I do not let minor problems stop me from doing my task, so I'm not wasting time on afternoon shift just sitting on my ass. They put up with me being slipshod on the paperwork.

[Works]

People trust me. I have built a fairly strong base of legitimacy in real life based on keeping my word, following through with my promises, and being very discrete with secrets.

[demagogic_schizoid]

People trust me. I have built a fairly strong base of legitimacy in real life based on keeping my word, following through with my promises, and being very discrete with secrets.

hmm yeah I'm all that, but still, I think it takes people time to realise this, despite my exemplerary behaviour.:mellow:

[Works]

hmm yeah I'm all that, but still, I think it takes people time to realise this, despite my exemplerary behaviour.:mellow:

If you're heavily I, then it might be that. I put on a really good extroverted show actually. I'm an I in E's clothing most of the time.

[sinnamon]

The funny thing is that I am extremely trustworthy. I am a straightforward person; I'm just not sophisticated enough to play games. Yet, people very often think I have ulterior motives. I've wondered why that is. The only thing I can figure is that most other people do have a hidden agenda, so they assume the same about everyone else.

[demagogic_schizoid]

The funny thing is that I am extremely trustworthy. I am a straightforward person; I'm just not sophisticated enough to play games. Yet, people very often think I have ulterior motives. I've wondered why that is. The only thing I can figure is that most other people do have a hidden agenda, so they assume the same about everyone else.

I think that's part of it, bnut I consider myself less trutsted than most.


If you're heavily I, then it might be that. I put on a really good extroverted show actually. I'm an I in E's clothing most of the time.

that is a good guess and it probably does affect heavily I people, but if it were that simple, I'd be able to explain it easily. But really, I have good social skills, decent Fe, etc., basically, I come across as within the range of a normally functioning person.

I think it might be a mix actually. despite all that stuff, I guess I hold back on the "real" things. Maybe if I was more I, they could explain it more easily. I guess I thought this might be a common intp theme, for people to get the impression you are holding something back. maybe this is because we are always processing a lot, but only telling a small part of it?

[C.J.Woolf]

I am a straightforward person; I'm just not sophisticated enough to play games. Yet, people very often think I have ulterior motives. I've wondered why that is.
My pet theory is that we don't say everything we think, and people can sense this.

At work in particular, I try to lead people to conclusions so they will propose what I want. It's easier to persuade when they think it's their idea. I'm still trusted because I don't sell anything that is contrary to their interests.

[V Profane]

They don't have to trust me. I operate unilaterally.

[Roger Mexico]

Conversation among two friends while I was playing poker several months ago:

Guy to my right (after I raised): "No way, dude. You're bluffing."

Guy to my left: "Dude, [roger] never bluffs."

I was bluffing.

[Works]

Conversation among two friends while I was playing poker several months ago:

Guy to my right (after I raised): "No way, dude. You're bluffing."

Guy to my left: "Dude, [roger] never bluffs."

I was bluffing.


Never show your hand...

[Kathara]

They trust me, which allows me to lie, when need be, without being caught. I only bluff once out of ten times, but as the previous nine times have taught them that I dont lie, I get away with it easily.

[Ferrus]

I don't really very often get into situations in which trust is needed - but certainly my ability to convince people, in spite of my superior reasoning abilities, is very limited by my perceived disconnectedness.

[quantumzero]

The funny thing is that I am extremely trustworthy. I am a straightforward person; I'm just not sophisticated enough to play games. Yet, people very often think I have ulterior motives. I've wondered why that is. The only thing I can figure is that most other people do have a hidden agenda, so they assume the same about everyone else.

Same same but different.

[demagogic_schizoid]

I don't really very often get into situations in which trust is needed - but certainly my ability to convince people, in spite of my superior reasoning abilities, is very limited by my perceived disconnectedness.

and I would suggest your inefficient language. ;)

[Llewellyn]

Once a team leader in a place I had worked only for a few months literally said, comparing me to a longer team member, that he trusted him. But he (this leader) was... way too young (or was so in appearance), was not impressed by intelligence, wanted synergy and all (I mean, 'install' that)... I was glad I could leave there.

[garak]

and being very discrete with secrets.

English teacher!

[C.J.Woolf]

English teacher!
If I wasn't lazy I could spin it so that Works meant to use that spelling. Perhaps he's very selective about which -- or whose -- secrets he divulges. :devil:

[working title]

Trust me in what sense?
As to acting sensibly in a moral/ethical scenario? Probably.
Trust in my ability to achieve results and perform diligently? Probably not.
And it's for the better that way. :devil:

[syzygy]

English teacher!

Heh, I was going to post that.

[OrionzRevenge]

Why?
...
What Have You Heard????

:unsure:

[Works]

English teacher!


If I wasn't lazy I could spin it so that Works meant to use that spelling. Perhaps he's very selective about which -- or whose -- secrets he divulges. :devil:


Heh, I was going to post that.

It only took you all a year.

[C.J.Woolf]

It only took you all a year.
That's what you get when you don't give us a deadline, smartass. :P

[A Schnitzel]

People often trust me because I sound confident when I say things.

Often I can be just bullshitting them and I don't actually know what I'm talking about.

[Ptah]

Often enough to be useful.

[starla]

Usually not at first, but after some time they find I'm pretty trustworthy.

[Randall]

Most people seem to trust me in general, but not with "J stuff," like remembering to pay bills etc.

That's what you get when you don't give us a deadline, smartass. :P

That's funny coming from you, you're the biggest smartass on the forum :lol:

[C.J.Woolf]

That's funny coming from you, you're the biggest smartass on the forum :lol:
It's a gesture of respect from one smartass to another.

[Madrigal]

I think that's part of it, but I consider myself less trusted than most.

It's all in your mind. ;P

[walfin]

Well if they didn't trust me at least I know they're just reciprocating.

[lpethe]

I don't really know how much other people trust each other, so can't say if it is more or less. I can say they don't trust me as much as they could.
I'm honest to a fault, and if I have a motivation with someone or am implementing a plan of sorts with them, I am very clear to tell them that. But for some reason, they seem to think if I tell them this stuff that I'm up to, there must be tons of other more devious things I am also up to. Same story with telling people how I work/think/feel. It takes some pretty obvious evidence before someone realizes "oh! you really meant it when you said you were like that!"

It doesn't really bother me, I'm not honest for other people. I can also understand why it happens: I am horrible at first impressions and most of my behavior is uncommon. Still, life would be a lot easier and more comfortable for them if they just trusted me.

[djm]

People tend to trust me well enough. Thats largely due to me being openly hostile and critical rather than hiding it.

[md5fungi]

do you get the feeling people don't trust you?

No, but I get the feeling I don't trust people.

[Helios]

Oh it depends on the context. Often I don't lock my doors (home, nor car) cause it never crosses my mind that anyone would steal from me. Even the few times something has happened it only rattles me for a bit, and I dismiss it as random.

I am pretty honest and easy going all the way around......

I think people know and count on that, and they do so correctly.



but in my closest relationships, it is all different. I am fiercely loyal, but I expect the same back! I am known to be ruthless when things go awry. Piss me off (breach my trust!!!) and I could make Machiavelli and Caligula blush. Much to my dismay, this is kinda well known too (in the context).....which sucks, cause stealth helpless ruthless alot.


one odd foot note, I will never wittingly betray anothers trust, even when you have mine and I fucking hate you and I busy myself with revenge sex with your SO,BFF, sibling, and anything I can think of. Even then your stupid secrets are safe with me. Some kinda stupid hardwired Fi I am sure. Plus side is people know this shit too, so they tell me everything you can imagine.

Do people trust me? It is a mixed bag

[avolkiteshvara]

I am probably not approachable but I am trustable. I think it has something do with the fact that I don't gossip or really give a shit about anything. I also don't like drama.

No reason to spill the beans.

[Notsweetynice]

I have no idea if I'm considered trustworthy or not. I think we live in a society where people don't really trust anyone anymore. It's really bad in areas where everyone is a transplant from somewhere else and there is no shared history. People trust 'experts' and consultants.

[walfin]

People trust 'experts' and consultants.
Not even those now.

[placid_panic]

i'd say people definitely don't trust me for the most part. most people don't know what to make of me. they say i'm weird, i'm unpredictable, they can't tell when i'm being serious, so i guess it makes sense that they don't feel they can rely on me. generally speaking i'd say people don't want me in a position of responsibility for anything that's important to them.

however, people that i like and get to know well trust me with their secrets, and not to betray them. they seem to have faith in my genuineness and hold me in high regard in that aspect. they just don't expect me to show up on time or do things that i say i will.

to derail - why did i have to change my type to "INTP" in all caps in order to post in this forum? that's inane.

[mmortal03]

My pet theory is that we don't say everything we think, and people can sense this.

We probably come across that way due to a lack of outward expression (perceived as coldness or disdain, even when just indifferent). I struggle with this because when I do say something, I am usually being honest, but people are skeptical.


At work in particular, I try to lead people to conclusions so they will propose what I want. It's easier to persuade when they think it's their idea. I'm still trusted because I don't sell anything that is contrary to their interests.

Would you say that this a surefire method to obtain others' trust, by trying to discuss ideas with them primarily in the context of how they want things? In other words, being a "yes man" to a large extent? That is very contrary to how an INTP usually thinks, so that could be the reason we aren't trusted.


I don't really very often get into situations in which trust is needed - but certainly my ability to convince people, in spite of my superior reasoning abilities, is very limited by my perceived disconnectedness.

So how can an INTP better connect to others in the way that most others would like?

[zserf]

I find that people tend to trust me a lot. I'm not exactly sure why. It's not like I ever break their trust, but it's because if they tell me something it generally isn't terribly interesting, so I feel no need to tell someone else. Also, honesty and trustworthiness are really big in my book, so I think people know they can trust me. I get really annoyed with people if they lie to me. About anything. If you don't want to tell me something, just tell me that. I tend to pick up details in what people say, so it can be obvious if they are deceptive.

[kali]

after years of observation and data collection, here are the results presented in a graph:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v654/greenCHEESEsticks/graph.jpg

as you can see, in the first year of friendship people usually build up their trust towards me until I am privy to all sorts of juicy secrets. Over the next couple of years they start to realise my untrustworthiness in keeping promises, and we see a steep decline in trust after the 3rd year.

too much time on my hands, yeah, stfu.