Pirates vs. Ninjas

[misutii]

so the ninja does a flying backflip onto the ship, then the well dressed pirate, brilliantly rich from a thousand pillages, puffs his platinum plated pipe, drinks from his crystal glass, removes his golden revolver from his quilted velvet vest, and shoots the stupid ninja dead. then shoots him 2 more times to make sure the sneaky bastard stays dead, then proceeds to drink and smoke some more

[file cabinet]

Ninja.. really quiet... lots of sneaking .. waits for pirate to get lung cancer from smoking too much .. then.. nunchucks and ninja stars..

do you perceive the ninja as an extrovert or introvert? what about the pirate? or.. what differences do you perceive between the pirate and ninja?

[Miss Anthropic]

pirates are far cooler than ninjas.....Johnny Depp PROVED that in Pirates of the Carribean! And pirates have parrots, and or monkeys. Ninjas have no one.

[Shai Gar]

this has been discussed.

maddox the pirate and ninjaboy dicussed it, the pirates won

[Elro]

pirates are far cooler than ninjas.....Johnny Depp PROVED that in Pirates of the Carribean! And pirates have parrots, and or monkeys. Ninjas have no one.

Ninjas need no one.

A pirate is conspicuous about trying to kill you. A ninja is a shadow on the wall. Which would you rather fight?

In other words, my vote: :ph34r:


do you perceive the ninja as an extrovert or introvert? what about the pirate? or.. what differences do you perceive between the pirate and ninja?
I'm not sure if I'd call the pirate an extrovert, but a ninja is no doubt an introvert.

And I end my contribution with this (http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/plaid.php).

[Eileen]

Pirates have my vote.

And zombie pirates are even more amazing. :D


I heard the best pick-up line EVER, ya'll.

A man sits next to a girl and turns to her and says, "So if you were a pirate..." He touches the shoulder closest to him. "Would your parrot sit on this shoulder?" He moves his arm around to the other shoulder, "Or this one?"

SMOOOOOOOOTH!

[Shai Gar]

truth be said ninjas would be able to kill everyone on board a pirate ship before the pirates knew anyone but them were on board the ship.

but pirates rock so hard. yes a la jonny depp

[Mr. Good Beats]

ninja's kick some serious ass http://www.realultimatepower.net/index4.htm

[jimkopelli]

Pirates put into port.
Ninja (only takes one) poisons pirate water barrels before they leave port.
Pirates all die.
Score: Ninja 37, Pirates 0

Even in a one on one fair (hah) fight, the ninja wins, because the pirate has been drinking, and the ninja just has to get back into the shadows... then jump back out and stab. Or use a blowdart.


However... if it was a ninja versus ghost pirates... then it would be almost even.

[Chall T. Dow]

I gotta with pirates on this one. Especially if they're ninja pirates.

Chall T. Dow

[Warrior413]

If the battle took place on a ship then the pirate is in his native environment. This is a definite advantage for the pirate, a fierce predator. So... oh, what am I saying... the ninja would kill him anyway.

[Ascending]

[/url]http://img46.exs.cx/img46/3096/stealthelitebycosettesimonelac.jpg[url="http://img46.exs.cx/img46/3096/stealthelitebycosettesimonelac.jpg"] (http://img46.exs.cx/img46/3096/stealthelitebycosettesimonelac.jpg)

[misutii]

Pirates put into port.
Ninja (only takes one) poisons pirate water barrels before they leave port.
Pirates all die.
Score: Ninja 37, Pirates 0

Even in a one on one fair (hah) fight, the ninja wins, because the pirate has been drinking, and the ninja just has to get back into the shadows... then jump back out and stab. Or use a blowdart.


However... if it was a ninja versus ghost pirates... then it would be almost even.


wateva the pirate has peons to do the dirty work, he never even has to physically deal with the ninja. and ninjas aren't allowed to smoke or drink and are utter Js

[MasterMerk]

pirates are far cooler than ninjas.....Johnny Depp PROVED that in Pirates of the Carribean! And pirates have parrots, and or monkeys. Ninjas have no one.

That movie is overrated!

But still, the coolness of boats and plunderin' and lootin' of the Pirates.

And the stealthiness and power of the Ninjas.

I'd like to be a Ninja.

[Vagabond]

And I end my contribution with this (http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/plaid.php). Muahah. That was evil. :ph34r:

[ApeTheDog]

Ninja's. Because they can do magic.

[jimkopelli]

wateva the pirate has peons to do the dirty work, he never even has to physically deal with the ninja. and ninjas aren't allowed to smoke or drink and are utter Js
...
...
...
Of course the pirates never have to physically deal with the ninja, they die without even meeting him.
Since when do pirates have "peons"? Galley slaves, maybe.
And they all drink the water on the boat and die anyway.

Ninjas can't smoke or drink? What kind of ninjas are you talking about? On the job, sure... but off duty, they go to the ninja pub and play darts with shurikens.

[Star Cannon]

ninjas win because they have mind set from training, the physical stamina, and the SPEED necessary to render and cutlasses useless.

Ninjas have my vote!

[MasterMerk]

Behold, more evidence of the inferiority of Pirates:



A man sits next to a girl and turns to her and says, "So if you were a pirate..." He touches the shoulder closest to him. "Would your parrot sit on this shoulder?" He moves his arm around to the other shoulder, "Or this one?"

SMOOOOOOOOTH!

[jimkopelli]

So this pirate walks into a bar.
As he comes up to the counter to get a flagon of grog, the bartender notices that he has the top half of a ship's wheel sticking out of the top of his breeches.
The pirate bangs on the counter and gets ready to order, but the bartender stops him, and says:
"Listen here, mate. I want to know something before you order."
"Yarr? What's that?"
"Why in blue blazes do yer have the top half of a wheel stuck in yer pants?"
"Well, matey... I don't know, but arrr, it's drivin' me nuts!"

[snarled]

ba..dum..chh :rolleyes:



For all budding urban ninja:

http://www.entertheninja.com/ninja_fun/shirt_ninja.shtml

Hehe. I remember doing this as a kid. Hours of fun.

[Eileen]

Behold, more evidence of the inferiority of Pirates:

NOT!

[jimkopelli]

Ok... What about pirate ghosts* vs. ninja cyborgs?
I think it's more even... the pirates are now incorporeal... but the ninjas get lasers.


*(the unintiated may call these "ghost pirates" but there is a difference. Pirate ghosts are pirates who died, thus becoming ghosts. Ghost pirates are ghosts who took up pirating, and are not quite as good. It may be possible to teach an old dog new tricks, but you can't teach a dead dog a damn thing.)

[MacGuffin]

I can't believe any fool thinks pirates are better than ninjas.

Anyone that actually thinks that is obviously not an INTP! ;P








:ph34r: = totally sweet!

[crule81]

I can't believe any fool thinks pirates are better than ninjas.

Anyone that actually thinks that is obviously not an INTP! ;P

:ph34r: = totally sweet!

Argh! Always vote for the group that makes the best use of technology. Pirates have firearms, enough said. Just remember that scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark and the guy who does all the crazy shit with the swords. Indy just pulls out his revolver and shoots him dead.

[Lee]

Argh! Always vote for the group that makes the best use of technology. Pirates have firearms, enough said. Just remember that scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark and the guy who does all the crazy shit with the swords. Indy just pulls out his revolver and shoots him dead.

They wouldn't even get the ninja in thier sights before........*slice* and they are pouring claret from the throat.

[Mr. Good Beats]

Argh! Always vote for the group that makes the best use of technology. Pirates have firearms, enough said. Just remember that scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark and the guy who does all the crazy shit with the swords. Indy just pulls out his revolver and shoots him dead.

just because he had swords doesn't mean he was a ninja. and if the movie would have been swordman jones, then he would have sliced the shit out of indiana.

[booyalab]

just because he had swords doesn't mean he was a ninja. and if the movie would have been swordman jones, then he would have sliced the shit out of indiana.

But if it had been called Pirate Jones Shoots the Shit Out of Ninja Jones, that would prove once and for all that pirates are the greatest.

[Mr. Good Beats]

But if it had been called Pirate Jones Shoots the Shit Out of Ninja Jones, that would prove once and for all that pirates are the greatest.
but then the sequal would be ninja jones' revenge, because ninja's don't die, they multiply and throw they sets up to the sky. and that would be the end of that.

[booyalab]

but then the sequal would be ninja jones' revenge, because ninja's don't die, they multiply and throw they sets up to the sky. and that would be the end of that.

BUT! the greatest epic adventure movies come in threes....therefore, the ninja children would be disenfranchised with their ninja culture of always having to jump across rooftops to get everywhere, even when there's an electrical storm..or a tornado, and going everywhere in the ninja disguise..even though it's pointless because every fucking other person is a ninja because its 'cool' now, and everyone knows it. So the Ninja children search the ancient archives section of the library on everything they can learn about pirates..and they become pirates and rebel against the ninja elders, and pirates win. The end.

[Lee]

BUT! the greatest epic adventure movies come in threes....therefore, the ninja children would be disenfranchised with their ninja culture of always having to jump across rooftops to get everywhere, even when there's an electrical storm..or a tornado, and going everywhere in the ninja disguise..even though it's pointless because every fucking other person is a ninja because its 'cool' now, and everyone knows it. So the Ninja children search the ancient archives section of the library on everything they can learn about pirates..and they become pirates and rebel against the ninja elders, and pirates win. The end.

Yeah, I think I have seen that one.

[Eileen]

But if it had been called Pirate Jones Shoots the Shit Out of Ninja Jones, that would prove once and for all that pirates are the greatest.
:rofl:

[LuridLemur]

What does it really matter if the pirates have guns? The ninjas would be sneaking around the ship and killing them before they were even detected. If on the odd chance they were, they would quickly remedy the problem with a shuriken to the throat.

Besides, the pirates would be drunk off their asses anyways.

[jimkopelli]

So, it boils down to this... if the pirate sees the ninja coming, bang, dead ninja. If the pirate doesn't see the ninja coming, slice, dead pirate. However... ninjas are known for being sneaky, and prefer to not be seen at all, and will very likely succeed, due to cover of darkness, and drunken pirates. So... the likelyhood of the ninja being seen is very little, chance of being shot at also pretty small, chance of being hit even smaller. So even if the pirate on watch sees the ninja... he's probably still going to die shortly.

It's pretty hard to miss stabbing someone from a few feet behind them, though.

[MasterMerk]

NOT!

If by "not" you mean "yes" then that's very fine and I agree.

[libertarianjim]

Captain Morgan was a pirate. I don't know of any booze named after ninjas.

Ergo, pirates.

[Eileen]

Captain Morgan was a pirate. I don't know of any booze named after ninjas.

Ergo, pirates.

Now here's a man with some sense.

[Mr. Good Beats]

Captain Morgan was a pirate. I don't know of any booze named after ninjas.

Ergo, pirates.

all this means is that pirates drink a lot and are money hungry capatalists like everyone else just trying to make more money.
having their own boose will just mean they are drunk more often, in turn making it easier for the ninjas to kill them; kill them all!
ninjas have too much respect for themselves to be pissing their lives away with boose.

point: ninjas

[jimkopelli]

Ninja booze is a secret, handed down over centuries.
They keep it secret with good reason.

[Daedalus_daemon]

Well, lets throw out a hypothetical situation here...
Pirate Ship=37xPirate
Ninja Troupe (yes a troupe of ninjas)=3xNinja (haven't you played the Tenchu games??)
Okay, here we go.

Pirate on lookout sees first ninja (nin 'A'), and starts to react, when ninA's parter, (nin 'B') apears out of shadows and shoves a kama through his skull or something equivalent on the awesome scale.

Pirate1's cold, lifeless corpse falls down HARD on the deck, alerting the pirates to the presence of ninjas. However, being the stereotypical European pirates of Pirates of the Carribean (or whatever), they don't know ABOUT ninjas and just mutter 'yarr' to eachother and down another tanker of mead/rum.

Unfurtunatly for pirates 2-11 (the drinkers below decks), Ninja Troupe 2 (consisting of nin 'C', who needs NO ONE to assist his awesomeness) have poisoned their beverages, killing the 9 pirates effortlessly, but not quietly. I'll just say that the pirates thrashed around in pain for a while to alert the other pirates some more because with the kind of heavy dirnking and lifestyle of a pirate, you've gotta have some endurance/stamina in these matters.

As of now, the rest of the ship is alerted, and the most crucial advantage of the ninja is in jeopardy: stealth. Their presence has been comprimised and they committ seppuku. AFTER killing the rest of the ship in a badass fight scene that would leave Quentin Tarintino in tears, tears of joy.

As the ship sails crewless towards the horizon, the ninjas sit and wait until they return to their home to committ honorable seppuku in their own homeland-thing. dojo. whatever.

However, since a ninja is a terrible thing to waste because of the years of training and dedication involved, upon committing seppuku their master puts their bodies in cryo-freeze storage and they are kept until countless years in the future they are ressurected and rebuilt better, stronger and faster then before. we now have 3xCyborg ninjas.
In the meantime though, the pirates have been living it up in the afterlife raiding the upteen seas adn never quite running out of people to harass and generally raid. All the while searching for the people who ended their pirate-y life for revenge (also from pirates of the carribean). Thus 37xPirates become 37xGhost pirates.

So long story short, the pirates vs. ninjas argument ends in a draw because pirates are just as cool as ninjas. badass bandana man. NOW the topic must change to cyborg ninjas versus ghost pirates. how can you kill something that's already dead? How can you make a cyborg running on a nuclear battery stop functioning using only a one-shot revolver? the eternal question...

I humbly lay these observations in front of y'all.

[Elro]

how can you kill something that's already dead?

Very very skillfully. :D

Cyborg ninjas>ghost pirates>ninjas>pirates, in my humble opinion. It's pretty danged close between ghost pirates and ninjas, though. It might be C.N.>N>G.P.>P. But I'll give the ghost pirates the benefit of the doubt.

Cyborg ninjas are just plain cool, though. :ph34r:

[MacGuffin]

If cyborg ninjas have Proton Packs (Nuclear Accelerator Backpacks - and there is no reason why they shouldn't have some), ghost pirates don't stand a chance.

As long as they don't cross the streams. That would be bad.

[Sackanaka]

Ninjas have jutsus! They can expel the ghosts to a netherrealm from which there is no escape! And just before they're expelled the cyberninjas will use their vibrokatanas to slice off the ghostpirates' ectoplasmic necks!
NINJA WIN

[Daedalus_daemon]

hells.
yea.
*clap clap clap*

[Ascending]

Ok folks, I just finnished an advanced computer simulation. The results are indisputable. Well, I suppose you could dispute them, but please, don't make a fool of yourself.

[coffeezombie]

Um... since when do pirates travel over grassy land? Change the parameters of your simulation, please.

[Ascending]

There was a small knoll on the island between the shore and the treasure. The other pirates did not even have to leave the ship for silent Ninja driven termination.

[djm]

I was going to start this thread, but then I found that it had already been done.

It is interesting to note that even in the olden days ninjas were overwhelmingly the choice of the discerning INTPc populace.

[LastRailway]

...and you decided to necromance a thread from 2005...

[djm]

...and you decided to necromance a thread from 2005...

Hey no need to thank me. I was just interested to see if pirates were still so universally seen as inferior to ninjas.

[djm]

I can't believe any fool thinks pirates are better than ninjas.

Anyone that actually thinks that is obviously not an INTP! ;P








:ph34r: = totally sweet!


Ninja's. Because they can do magic.


What does it really matter if the pirates have guns? The ninjas would be sneaking around the ship and killing them before they were even detected. If on the odd chance they were, they would quickly remedy the problem with a shuriken to the throat.

Besides, the pirates would be drunk off their asses anyways.

Decided to dredge the fossil record, and it seems a few of them are still here.

[jyng1]

Pirates are still the scourge of the ocean and the might of the US/British and anyone else's Navy doesn't seem to be having much effect... Ninjas on the other hand, have done next to nothing in the last...

[mxmxmx]

I think you meant to post in this thread (http://forums.intpcentral.com/showthread.php?37711-Bad-Jokes).
(So bad, it's good)

[Stigmata]

Ninjas, only because everything surrounding pirates is filled with homosexual undertones(ships at sea for months to years at a time filled with nothing but shady looking burly men, swabbing poop decks, a neverending quest in search for "rare booty".)

Plus, ninjas can be turtles totally engrossed in 90's pop culture, whereas pirates are just stuck in this 14th century era time vacuum.

[mxmxmx]

Well there was a recent Somalian pirate revival.

[Ptah]

I voted Pirate. Freedom over fiefdom for me.

[djm]

Pirates are still the scourge of the ocean and the might of the US/British and anyone else's Navy doesn't seem to be having much effect... Ninjas on the other hand, have done next to nothing in the last...

That is only because our Navy doesn't have the budget to hire ninjas (no self respecting ninja would kill pirates for free after all).

[C.J.Woolf]

Ninjas have already won, but pirates don't know it yet.

[LastRailway]

It should be evident whom I'm voting for, but in case of any doubts, I quote myself from the Chat thread:


I go for pirates, just because rogue, adventurous, risky bandits in ships >>> strictly disciplined, sneaky, within ranks and hierarchy soldiers.

[Roger Mexico]

Pirates are still the scourge of the ocean and the might of the US/British and anyone else's Navy doesn't seem to be having much effect... Ninjas on the other hand, have done next to nothing in the last...

Next to nothing that you know of.

[EDIT: Ohhh, I get it now.]


I vote ninjas. Any serious military strategist will tell you that initiative and the element of surprise is the single most important factor in winning a battle. The whole point of a ninja character is to max out this stat so your opponent is dead before they even know they're in a fight. What they happen to be armed with at the time becomes irrelevant.

Granted, my most recent pop culture consumption has led me to the conclusion that Nizari assassins are even more badass than ninjas. (I like the story about Saladin waking up in his fortified camp to find someone has left a poisoned cake with a knife sticking in it next to his bed--also the fact that their martial arts training enables them to single-handedly prevail against dozens of enemies just by holding "block" while mashing the X button.) But a motivated ninja will kill the shit out of Johnny Depp before he has time to melt even a single woman's heart by blearily staring off into space as though he has just woken up in a dark room and walked out into very bright sunlight.

[Hexchild]

If I could I'd vote Garrett, because he's a little of both. He'd blackjack the bunch of them, steal everything he can carry and then row off into the sunset like nothing happened.

[OrionzRevenge]

Ninjas have already won, but pirates don't know it yet.

True, the odds are grave, but that's the sort of romantic appeal that makes me vote pirates FTW

[LastRailway]

I think it's pretty clear that in a sea battle pirates would pwn ninjas hands down. Unless if any of you can prove that ninjas are trained in sea battles, have sailing skills, can swim, etc.

In a land battle, maybe ninjas would have an advantage.

[djm]

I think it's pretty clear that in a sea battle pirates would pwn ninjas hands down. Unless if any of you can prove that ninjas are trained in sea battles, have sailing skills, can swim, etc.

In a land battle, maybe ninjas would have an advantage.

Like to see a mangy pirate take a shark out like the seafaring ninjas in this film :whistle:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XeUhQQjMgfs

[LastRailway]

I don't know this film, but, here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ninja

Find me one single reference on seafaring ninjas, and I might reconsider my previous point.

[nonperson]

I don't know this film, but, here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ninja

Find me one single reference on seafaring ninjas, and I might reconsider my previous point.

http://www.thehistoryblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/Samurai-boarding-Yuan-ships-in-1281.jpg

[djm]

I don't know this film, but, here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ninja

Find me one single reference on seafaring ninjas, and I might reconsider my previous point.

The very article you cite has reference to ninjas having the magical ability to walk on water - pretty useful for dealing with pirates.

Also see this picture from self same article:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/7/72/Hokusai-sketches---hokusai-manga-vol6-crop.jpg/230px-Hokusai-sketches---hokusai-manga-vol6-crop.jpg

Lets imagine that is rigging = dead pirates.

[LastRailway]

Samurai =/= ninjas.

EDIT:
That was going to nonperson.

Magical ability to walk on the water lol.

re-EDIT:
Also, good luck attacking (or even approaching) a ship while you're *walking*.

[nonperson]

Samurai =/= ninjas.

EDIT:
That was going to nonperson.

Magical ability to walk on the water lol.

re-EDIT:
Also, good luck attacking (or even approaching) a ship while you're *walking*.

You can be sooooooo picky. It is obvious that you won't be able to see the ninjas in the picture. They wouldn't be very good at ninjaering if you could........ :p

[Rincon]

You can be sooooooo picky. It is obvious that you won't be able to see the ninjas in the picture. They wouldn't be very good at ninjaering if you could........ :p

In my head I read that as "ninjaneering". Thank you for helping me coin a new awesome term for "stealthy software development". :highfive:

[Randall]

CAN NINJAS CO-EXIST WITH PIRATES? (http://www.fullyramblomatic.com/essays/coexist.htm)