Phone Tactics

[Jezebel]

Okay, I've had it with people calling at stupid times and wanting to leave messages :rant:

The story is, my father works during the day. I'm currently staying with him (not officially living here), so I'm at home during the day. He usually gets about 4 - 5 calls a day, and it never fails that he gets at least one call before 9 am, and I'm not always out of bed yet. Everyone always wants me to leave messages.

What's really getting on my nerves is that the same people keep calling and I ALWAYS answer the phone with "he isn't here because he works during the day". We have an answering machine, and I will tell them this and say "please call right back and leave a message on the machine because he checks it every day". But they almost fight me on this. They say, "can't you just leave a message?" or "my message is really short!" or "just tell him I called!", and so on. Well, I don't want to get out of bed/drop what I'm doing/go to the other side of the house to get a pen/etc, everytime someone calls. And if I don't write it down, I forget.

Now I would just ignore the phone rings or unplug the phone during the day, except for one thing: sometimes people will call me about freelance work and they pay me. I'd just have them call my cell phone, but I can't get a signal here.

I started the speaking-so-fast-they-can't-get-a-word-in tactic this morning when someone called and woke me up. "Hi, he works during the day but if you call back right away you can leave a message on the machine which he checks everyday" and hung up. I could hear the person saying "uh... uh..." in the background just trying to get a word in. :D

How do you guys deal with unwanted calls?

[file cabinet]

wait for them to leave a message on the answering machine and if the person needs you for freelance work then pick up the phone?

[Jezebel]

wait for them to leave a message on the answering machine and if the person needs you for freelance work then pick up the phone?

I would do that, but I'd prefer to take care of things right away. Plus I don't mind taking my personal calls either, and it's just as much of a hassle to go to the other room to check the answering machine right away everytime I get a call.

I don't see why it should be a big deal for someone to call back and leave a message if it's important, or just to call back after 2:30 pm. It's usually less work than I'd have to do to give him the message myself. And to be honest, I'm not overly concerned whether they get through to him or not. Yeah, I know, this sounds lazy. But whatever, I'm not his private secretary.

[file cabinet]

attach the answering machine to your hip?

[SensEye]

Just tell them you are not likely to be home when your dad returns and that he is really bad for checking for handwritten messages. Even if you leave them right where he "can't miss them" unless he hears the answering machine message waiting beep he just doesn't think to look.

Now if they still insist on leaving a message with you, say OK, but don't actually leave a message. The caller will be nervous about whether dad will receive the message due to your earlier speil and will likely call back if dad doesn't call him. So dad shouldn't miss any important calls.

Of course, when they call back and say "didn't you get my message", dad may confront you, so he will have to buy into the program of it being ok to get his callers to leave messages on the machine.

[Claverhouse]

On the other hand Jezebel may want to consider something from an ancient radio comedy programme over here 'a little device that when pressed sends a mild, but fatal, electric shock down the wire, killing the caller'
:D :D


Claverhouse :ph34r:

[Jezebel]

On the other hand Jezebel may want to consider something from an ancient radio comedy programme over here 'a little device that when pressed sends a mild, but fatal, electric shock down the wire, killing the caller'
:D :D

hmm... less talking and explaining involved, no chance to argue with me, no repeat callers... where can I get one of those?

[candela]

Why can't you just take a message? You already picked up the phone.

Anyway, if I really didn't want to take the message, when they asked me to I'd just say no.

[shaytana]

If it was me I just wouldnt answer the phone, but you got work to think about so that is understandable. I suggest the talking-so-fast-they-cant-leave-a-message technique combined with the I-cant-pass-on-the-message-because-I-wont-be-here line if they do manage to say something.

[Spartan26]

Yeah, when freelance work is at stake you gotta pick up the phone. People might move to the next person on the list just because they don't want to worry about finding someone. What kind of work do you do? I've never had a call for creative work that's come before 10 AM.

Might I suggest the ol' silent treament. All you have to say is hello. Then when the person asks for pops, say nothing. If they ask if you can take a message say nothing. Your job is to just say one word. Hello. If the person asks for you, you keep talking. If not, remain perfectly still. Pretty soon you'll hear a slight pause, followed by "Hello? Hello?!" Finally a click. :cheers:

The person won't think you're rude. Most likely, that person will wonder if something's wrong with the phone or answering machine. You'll now have five minutes of answer-free time. The person will probably call back in five minutes. Chances are the call came from a cellie and s/he'll be waiting to get to a better spot on the road.

For a more pro-active approach, just start screaming "HELLO?! HELLO?! I'm not hearing you!" before hanging up. Not only will this take care of that call but the person will limit future calls unless it's really important. :devil: :devil: :devil:

[ohnoaninfp]

What I hate is when those telemarketers call and they are so rude. They butcher my last name and the ask for my mom, who passed away 3 years ago. Then there is the computers that have your number on them and they call your number and two others at the same time and who ever pick up first gets the telemartketer, while the other two are hung up on. I just hate it when the phone rings and there is no answer. Sorry telemarketers just piss me off. Do you have caller id? If you have it, you can see who is calling before you pick up the phone.

[Jezebel]

Why can't you just take a message? You already picked up the phone.

Anyway, if I really didn't want to take the message, when they asked me to I'd just say no.

I have a cordless phone and I'm not always sitting beside a pen and a piece of paper and a convenient place to write. Sometimes I'm outside or in bed when I get the calls, or I'm in the middle of something such as cooking which I don't want to leave, even if it won't take long. Then I have to remember to make sure my father knows about the message and sometimes I don't even see him in the evenings. It wouldn't be a big deal if it didn't happen everyday.

[Jezebel]

Yeah, when freelance work is at stake you gotta pick up the phone. People might move to the next person on the list just because they don't want to worry about finding someone. What kind of work do you do? I've never had a call for creative work that's come before 10 AM.

Mostly internet stuff though I got to do some print stuff for a magazine recently. I'm not an "official" freelancer since I'm just doing this temporarily until I get another job. My boyfriend, who is a much more extroverted blabbermouth than me, gets most of my work for me. He works at a studio and recommends me to people. As long as I'm getting paid enough I'll do pretty much whatever I'm capable of, from something just as simple as setting up their webhost to updating pre-made sites to designing their site to cleaning up images. I also don't get many calls before 10 AM but it has happened before. I think most people with sense don't call before 10 am or after 5 pm.


Might I suggest the ol' silent treament. All you have to say is hello. Then when the person asks for pops, say nothing. If they ask if you can take a message say nothing. Your job is to just say one word. Hello. If the person asks for you, you keep talking. If not, remain perfectly still. Pretty soon you'll hear a slight pause, followed by "Hello? Hello?!" Finally a click. :cheers:

I like this idea a lot. I think I'm going to try this one next time.


For a more pro-active approach, just start screaming "HELLO?! HELLO?! I'm not hearing you!" before hanging up. Not only will this take care of that call but the person will limit future calls unless it's really important. :devil: :devil: :devil:

brilliant! :devil: :D

[candela]

If it happens everyday, why don't you carry a little notepad and pencil around with you or something? If you have message for him and won't be seeing him, tear out the sheet and put it somewhere he'll see it.

[Jezebel]

What I hate is when those telemarketers call and they are so rude. They butcher my last name and the ask for my mom, who passed away 3 years ago. Then there is the computers that have your number on them and they call your number and two others at the same time and who ever pick up first gets the telemartketer, while the other two are hung up on. I just hate it when the phone rings and there is no answer. Sorry telemarketers just piss me off. Do you have caller id? If you have it, you can see who is calling before you pick up the phone.

Yeah, we get a lot of telemarketers as well. They do the same thing here. My grandparents passed away and they still ask for them. Usually once I know it's a telemarketer I just hang up right away without an explanation. And no caller ID here.

[Jezebel]

If it happens everyday, why don't you carry a little notepad and pencil around with you or something? If you have message for him and won't be seeing him, tear out the sheet and put it somewhere he'll see it.

because I'm not getting paid for secretarial work

[file cabinet]

What I hate is when those telemarketers call and they are so rude. They butcher my last name and the ask for my mom, who passed away 3 years ago. Then there is the computers that have your number on them and they call your number and two others at the same time and who ever pick up first gets the telemartketer, while the other two are hung up on. I just hate it when the phone rings and there is no answer. Sorry telemarketers just piss me off. Do you have caller id? If you have it, you can see who is calling before you pick up the phone.

Yeah, we get a lot of telemarketers as well. They do the same thing here. My grandparents passed away and they still ask for them. Usually once I know it's a telemarketer I just hang up right away without an explanation. And no caller ID here.

at work we've been getting calls that are telemarkters but they are merely recordings so I yell and blow into the phone then hang up.

[Melody]

I enjoy telemarketers.

tm: First, what is your name?
me: Michael.
tm: And your last name?
me: Jordan.

They do annoy me, though. Lately I have been sifting through ideas on how to fuck with them more effectively.

I also love spam snail mail, especially the ones that send me postage-paid envelopes. I place things inside them such as random small garbage, lint, string, receipts from the grocery store, other spam snail mail, etc.

Jez, I think you are screwed until your father hires a secretary.

[KentOhio]

I was sure that my brother invented yelling, "Hello?, Hello? I can't hear you!" into the phone, but I guess not. But it's great... except when he does it to me when I call, lol. Also, I know a girl who had her answering machine recording say the same thing, and it always fools first-time callers into screaming hello until the beep comes. Of course the joke is lost on second-time callers.
Mel... that envelope gag sounds hilarious! I never heard of it before, but I'll bet the people opening them have alot of fun.

[Jezebel]

some more ways to annoy telemarketers (http://c2.com/cgi/wiki?WaysToAnnoyTelemarketers)

[ohnoaninfp]

Some of these telemarketers are so snotty, for instance a conversation with a rude telermarketer went like this.................

TM Hello is John millyeeeyaaa there? (Millea is pronounced mill-lay)
Me Yes, May I ask whose calling?
The TM shot back snottily Stephanie Mam. So I told her to hold on and I went downstairs and told him a stephanie mam was on the phone. When He got the phone she already hung up.

Im sorry, but what makes them think that I would buy there product or service when they are so rude to me? I just don't get it.

[int]

I try to get as much info on the company as I can, then go online and subscribe them to spam, have Bible sellers call them, send their letters back to them filled with other ads, and the like. That was before I got my Telezapper and put my numbers on the federal and state do not call lists.