Bigfoot Hunters Find a Dead Bigfoot

[Oso Mocoso]

http://www.ktvu.com/news/17174989/detail.html

They say it's a 500 pound body they found in rural GA, and they will present DNA evidence during a press conference on Friday. I'll be very interested in seeing what they actually come up with.

Link to their web site, which doesn't seem to be responding at the moment.

http://www.searchingforbigfoot.com/

Pic from ImageShack.

http://img524.imageshack.us/my.php?image=thawedcreatureinfreezerux3.jpg

This looks like a hoax to me. I wonder if they're selling anything?

[garak]

Gee, how convenient that the image is hard to make out. Bigfoot people and alien people always pull the same shit, time after time. It's always a "report" of something, or a "claim" of something, or whatever. It's 99.9999999% likely bullshit.

edit: perpetual motion people too

edit: water-fueled car people too

[Pan]

This looks like a hoax to me. I wonder if they're selling anything?

Ding! You win something or other.


Whitton and Dyer are co-owners of bigfoottracker.com and Bigfoot Global LLC., a company that offers Bigfoot expeditions.

[LongSilence]

Perhaps they're hoping to get a whole load of bookings made between now and friday...

If someone had a real Bigfoot surely they'd take a whole bunch of pictures of it from loads of angles. I mean, you can't even see the size of its feet in that one, just the crappy-looking head / mask.

[Oso Mocoso]

Perhaps they're hoping to get a whole load of bookings made between now and friday...

If someone had a real Bigfoot surely they'd take a whole bunch of pictures of it from loads of angles. I mean, you can't even see the size of its feet in that one, just the crappy-looking head / mask.

I think they do have more pictures. The reason I only linked one was that their web site seems to be swamped by traffic, and I can only sporadically connect to it. I saw that pic mirrored by someone on a blog.

Them selling Bigfoot expeditions does cast aspersions on their motives.

[LongSilence]

Can only see two other pictures of three guys- one with them in the forest, other by the freezer. But, nonetheless, here are the reported stats on the "find":


Here are some of the vital statistics on the "Bigfoot" body:

*The creature is seven feet seven inches tall.


*It weighs over five hundred pounds.

*The creature looks like it is part human and part ape-like.


*It is male.

*It has reddish hair and blackish-grey eyes.

*It has two arms and two legs, and five fingers on each hand and
five toes on each foot.

*The feet are flat and similar to human feet.

*Its footprint is sixteen and three-quarters inches long and five
and three-quarters inches wide at
the heel.

*From the palm of the hand to the tip of the middle finger, its
hands are eleven and three-quarters inches
long and six and one-quarter inches wide.

*The creatures walk upright. (Several of them were sighted on the
same day that the body was found.)

*The teeth are more human-like than ape-like.

*DNA tests are currently being done and the current DNA and photo
evidence will be presented at the press
conference on Friday, August 15th.

Also...




A few weeks ago, Whitton and Dyer announced the finding of the body on the "Squatch Detective" radio show, an internet based radio show hosted by Steve Kulls. While on that show, the commentator asked Rick Dyer "Would you allow one of our people to come down and verify the body?" Dyer replied, "The only person we would allow to come down and verify the body was 'the real Bigfoot Hunter,' Tom Biscardi." The next day, the producer of the Squatch Detective show contacted Biscardi with pertinent information on how to contact Dyer and Whitton.

[NkedMRat]

it smells like a hoax, but the pic doesn't look as fake as some I've seen. I guess we'll see on the 15th ^^.

[Tiamat]

This sounds like trouble

[Karl]

OMG they killed bigfoot

[LongSilence]

No, apparently they just "found" the body and saw a bunch of other "Bigfoots" walking around. Apparently they don't wish to reveal the location because they fear hunters will come.

Oh and, nice to meet you Karl. Disowned the family name or just keeping in under wraps so people don't call you on it all the time?

[stopharian]

OMG they killed bigfoot


He was found in Georgia, maybe it was killed during the current fighting that is going on there.

[lowtech redneck]

OMG they killed bigfoot

Those bastards!

I know, I know, but someone had to finish the joke.

[Ivy]

Heh. I missed that!

Poor dead Bigfoot. Now who will amuse me in the Jack Link beef jerky commercials?

[camille]

I wonder if he died of natural causes?

[foodeater]

The chupacabra and loch ness monster probably ganged up on him in a dark alley.

[Jennywocky]

He was found in Georgia, maybe it was killed during the current fighting that is going on there.

Sigh. And so do years of genetic inbreeding in the Deep South come to a sordid end.

He might have been a monster to us, but I'm sure to many there he was known as "Grandpa."

[digesthisickness]

*The creature is seven feet seven inches tall.

*Its footprint is sixteen and three-quarters inches long and five and three-quarters inches wide at the heel.

*From the palm of the hand to the tip of the middle finger, its hands are eleven and three-quarters inches long and six and one-quarter inches wide.




* It is male.

they would be vague about the most interesting part.

[Faust06]

People still give a fuck about Bigfoot? I'd rather the Abominable Snowman.

[Oso Mocoso]

People still give a fuck about Bigfoot? I'd rather the Abominable Snowman.

Well .. hells yes! If there's a cryptid wandering around North America, we'd like to know about it. The Abominable Snowman is creeping around low-rent Central Asia. Hello? Those countries are very small and landlocked.

[stopharian]

they would be vague about the most interesting part.

Dont make inferences....Unit size varies wildly amongst primates. The orangutan for instance tops out at about 1 inch in length owing to his penchant for arboreal nookie. Any longer and the tree hanging love wouldn't come together in the right configuration. We have no idea how this newly discovered hominid rides one into his lady friend. Angle of attack, angle of repose, response time etc. all need to be taken into account. For all we know the male could incubate the young like a gargantuan hairy sea horse.

Unless you are picking out gloves for our boy, I think only time will tell about the proportionality of his appendages especially in comparison to Homo Erectus.

[Limey]

Looks like Michael Vick got to him first.

[Hexchild]

I don't get it. How exactly does one go about proving that it is a Bigfoot using its DNA?

As far as I can tell all you might be able to do at most is prove it isn't any known species. And I'm guessing even that might get complicated if it's similar enough to some species of primates (which, given the proposed evidence, would appear to be somewhat likely).

[digesthisickness]

Dont make inferences....Unit size varies wildly amongst primates. The orangutan for instance tops out at about 1 inch in length owing to his penchant for arboreal nookie. Any longer and the tree hanging love wouldn't come together in the right configuration. We have no idea how this newly discovered hominid rides one into his lady friend. Angle of attack, angle of repose, response time etc. all need to be taken into account. For all we know the male could incubate the young like a gargantuan hairy sea horse.

Unless you are picking out gloves for our boy, I think only time will tell about the proportionality of his appendages especially in comparison to Homo Erectus.

like a lead balloon.

[LongSilence]

like a lead balloon.

Heh, there's a sordid joke there too.

[stopharian]

like a lead balloon.

Heh

Oh well

You loose some, you loose some

[Domino]

Hey, Oso, they caught what they think is a chupacabra on video. Saw it on the news.

[digesthisickness]

please don't cheapen bigfoot.

thanks.

[eyebyte_atWork]

I can see it now - big-foot hunting season opens in November.

You would think that a group of people desperately looking for proof that big-foot exists and who posts pictures as evidence of a possible big-foot would post better pictures of one thats not moving and in their possession.


Besides - its not a big-foot - its Chewbacca hunger over in the freezer after a bender.

[Domino]

please don't cheapen bigfoot.

thanks.

My horse was named after him! Isn't that tribute enough?! :-p


Oso. Chupacabra... *nudge* Looks like a grey dingo, man...

[Oso Mocoso]

Oso. Chupacabra... *nudge* Looks like a grey dingo, man...

Yeah! I saw that on MonsterQuest!

[Anonymous]

Yeah! I saw that on MonsterQuest!

Didn't that turn out to be a dog who died from a case of mange?

[Corbin]

they would be vague about the most interesting part.

Gorillas have minute penises compared to ours, no thicker and longer than a pencil. Other apes do not reach even this size.

[Oso Mocoso]

Gorillas have minute penises compared to ours, no thicker and longer than a pencil. Other apes do not reach even this size.

A male chimp's unit is barely an inch. Apparently longer peeners would complicate the logistics of treetop shenanigans.


Didn't that turn out to be a dog who died from a case of mange?

I thought the one on MonsterQuest was a dead coyote ... and a quick check of wikipedia reveals that the episode featured multiple chupacabras. There were both dead domestic dogs and coyotes.

[meanlittlechimp]

A male chimp's unit is barely an inch. Apparently longer peeners would complicate the logistics of treetop shenanigans.


Are you sure about this? I know their testes are three times the size of ours.

[dunee]

this isn't the press conf., but you can read what the "real bigfoot hunter" has to say about it here (http://dsc.discovery.com/news/2008/08/15/big-foot-discovery.html).

[foodeater]

Are you sure about this? I know their testes are three times the size of ours.

Female chimps have more sex partners when the in heat, so the male that's able to deposit the most sperm is most likely going to be the one who impregnates her. Human females tend to choose one partner while ovulating and he doesn't need to compete in the same way as the chimps. Or if he does, he doesn't do it in the same way.. The average penis size of chimps is about 3 inches (http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/42665/penis_evolution_intersexual_and_intrasexual.html).. the gorilla is 1 inch.

Edit: I'm not sure about the human females part. I remember reading that humans aren't 'supposed' to be monogamous but I can't remember where. It's true for some other primate species though.

Second edit: I should have read the rest of that article

[RedFox]

I remember reading that humans aren't 'supposed' to be monogamous but I can't remember where. It's true for some other primate species though.

I recall that article too. If I remember correctly it is linked somewhere in the "Online Tests" forum. Where I saw it, it was in the form of a sex-knowledge test. After the test the article indicates that according to what archeologists gathered, human's were most likely monogamous, and it also appears based on cave drawings that female sexual enojoyment was important to the men too, rather then the "club her over her head and drag her by her hair" scenario. So it appears the penis size discrepency is directly linked to human's unique and very specific and selective sexual nature. That as opposed to animals that don't really care about enjoyment, but are just fulfilling a powerful urge. In a purely practical sense a small penis is more useful then a large one it lessens chance of injury and infection and simplifies sex as a reproductive act. I think this is the most I've ever written on penises before, usually it was just a scrawling on a cafeteria table or my classrom desk or something.

[Spring]

I remember hearing in a documentary that humans and chimps have proportionally large penises for primates probably as a means of attracting mates. That also might explain the drive of penis envy.

[Oso Mocoso]

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080815/ts_nm/bigfoot_dc

Verdict: the DNA samples were of blood that was human, and probably partly opossum. Nice try, Bigfoot hunters.

[RedFox]

Verdict: the DNA samples were of blood that was human, and probably partly opossum. Nice try, Bigfoot hunters.

I guess they just wanted their 5 minutes of fame, knowing they wouldn't get away with it. So now they've just wasted resources that could've been spent disproving verdicts of people on death row. Although it's unrealistic to think an innocent death row inmate died because of this, they just wasted time and money. It's infuriating that I could've spent the time I spent posting on this topic masturbating. Curse you hoaxers!

[Anonymous]

An opossum? Seriously? You'd think they would have at least tried for something interesting if they were going to do something this ridiculous. Not the animal famous for being roadkill and eaten in the soup of rednecks.

[foodeater]

They probably thought that if they mixed human DNA with something really hairy it would confuse the scientists enough to warrant a conclusion that they found the real bigfoot.

Edit: Either that, or bigfoot is just a giant opossum

[Oso Mocoso]

An opossum? Seriously? You'd think they would have at least tried for something interesting if they were going to do something this ridiculous. Not the animal famous for being roadkill and eaten in the soup of rednecks.

Yeah ... I get the impression maybe they hoped that mixing two kinds of blood would confuse the test. Like maybe give results of something nearly human with some animal characteristics? I'm sure if they could have found tissue from some ultra-rare African primate they would have gone with that.

[mgb]

Yeah ... I get the impression maybe they hoped that mixing two kinds of blood would confuse the test. Like maybe give results of something nearly human with some animal characteristics? I'm sure if they could have found tissue from some ultra-rare African primate they would have gone with that.

I don't know...it was found in the backwoods of Georgia. If Deliverance taught me anything it's that there are some really freaky things that go on there.

[lowtech redneck]

I don't know...it was found in the backwoods of Georgia. If Deliverance taught me anything it's that there are some really freaky things that go on there.

God, I hate that movie.

[Tiamat]

Too bad.

If this had worked out, it would have put Georgia back on the map

[Oso Mocoso]

Are you sure about this? I know their testes are three times the size of ours.

They've got ridiculously big testicles but very small peeners. Now regarding Bigfoot ... who knows?


God, I hate that movie.

I love that movie. I've driven through South Carolina and Georgia. I basically found North Carolina frightening, but South Carolina and Georgia ... I basically wished I could have driven straight through without the need to stop for gas. If I could have made it through to Florida without stopping I would have. Seriously, those states are scary. Deliverance doesn't even do it justice. Those people are inbred rapists and even worse. Just stopping to buy gas you're taking your chances.

[dunee]

I love that movie. I've driven through South Carolina and Georgia. I basically found North Carolina frightening, but South Carolina and Georgia ... I basically wished I could have driven straight through without the need to stop for gas. If I could have made it through to Florida without stopping I would have. Seriously, those states are scary. Deliverance doesn't even do it justice. Those people are inbred rapists and even worse. Just stopping to buy gas you're taking your chances.

pfffft! Yankees... :rolleyes2:

I've never seen Deliverance, though I've heard of it's insanity from friends. What perplexes me is why the viewers of Channel 4 in the United Kingdom voted it #45 in a list of The 100 Greatest Films (according to wikipedia)...



If this had worked out, it would have put Georgia back on the map
As long as Brits are watching Deliverance, and imagining bigfeet running amok, it will do just fine. I'm just glad 'Bigfoot hoax perpetuated by dumb rednecks' is going on GA's WTF list, not SC's, for once.

[Ivy]

LOL what a wuss. Redneck won't have surprise buttsecks with you unless you have a purdy mouth and are in the woods. Gas stations and restaurants are totally buttsecks free!

[Oso Mocoso]

LOL what a wuss. Redneck won't have surprise buttsecks with you unless you have a purdy mouth and are in the woods. Gas stations and restaurants are totally buttsecks free!

Ivy, I don't care WHERE you are. Highway gas stations are never buttsecks free. Don't be naive. There's so much buttsecks going on in gas stations that it's a gay cruising stereotype.

One time we were moving a yacht down to Florida, and we had to get gas off the coast of South Carolina. We headed into a river, and found a crumbling dock with a sign saying that they sold gas. They didn't even have a gas pump, there was just a rusty cylinder full of gas and a gravity fed hose. They essentially guesstimated how much gas you purchased. We got a really good deal on the gas, although its quality was questionable.

While we were there, I went looking around. There were a bunch of buildings near the dock. I figured there might be a store somewhere, or maybe a bathroom. The boat we were on had one, but any public restroom would be far preferable to the head on a racing boat.

There were all these abandoned buildings. Broken glass, water damage, total disrepair. While I was walking around looking at the dead buildings, I came across a house with some old dude outside it. He said something to me in what I guess was English, but I couldn't understand him. My response was something like "Huh?" and he started talking louder. I noticed in the windows of the house a bunch of faces looking out the windows. There was an improbably large number of people looking out relative to the size of the house. I went back to the docks and stayed on the boat until we left.

I could easily imagine some mutated inbred yokel-spawn from that place being mistaken for Bigfoot by an overzealous hunter. Or maybe one of them going all Troy McClure and creating an Innsmouth creature.

[Limey]

Sex with wemon is better then buttsecks IMO
having sed that. Southern buttsecks is better then yankie buttsecks.

The war of nothern represhion will be revenjed!

[Oso Mocoso]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v395/spiritchaser75/bigfoot.jpg

http://www.boingboing.net/images/x_2008/bigfootpressrelease_72.jpg

[Anonymous]

A taquito and a white russian? Best holy offering ever.

[stopharian]

A taquito and a white russian? Best holy offering ever.

:theclap:

[V Profane]

Surely the dumbest thing any hoaxer could do is to 'produce the corpse'?

Must be real then.

[lowtech redneck]

LOL what a wuss. Redneck won't have surprise buttsecks with you unless you have a purdy mouth and are in the woods. Gas stations and restaurants are totally buttsecks free!


Ivy, I don't care WHERE you are. Highway gas stations are never buttsecks free. Don't be naive. There's so much buttsecks going on in gas stations that it's a gay cruising stereotype.


Any buttsex I have with Ocoso won't be a surprise; he'll be watching me through the bathroom mirror at the gas station.

p.s. don't forget to watch out for the rest stops.

[jread]

Here is the very unsurprising update to this whole story: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,406101,00.html

[Delilah]

Here is the very unsurprising update to this whole story: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,406101,00.html

How terribly disappointing, and it just seemed so darn believable up until now......

[digesthisickness]

yeah, but something good (http://www.bfro.net/hoax.asp) did come from it.

[Delilah]

yeah, but something good (http://www.bfro.net/hoax.asp) did come from it.


I saw that assclown Biscardi's interview last week, total smarmy car salesman vibe about him, but don't worry, he'll be back, cockroaches like him always are. Maybe next time he'll have the Loch Ness monster!

[digesthisickness]

I saw that assclown Biscardi's interview last week, total smarmy car salesman vibe about him, but don't worry, he'll be back, cockroaches like him always are. Maybe next time he'll have the Loch Ness monster!

i don't think he realizes just who he's fucking with and how serious some people take this subject. if he keeps it up, people may well be searching for his body.

[Delilah]

i don't think he realizes just who he's fucking with and how serious some people take this subject. if he keeps it up, people may well be searching for his body.

They won't find it, I have the perfect spot picked out just for him.......

[garak]

What a shock!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6AOgKx3k3uQ