How has INTPc spoiled you in terms of member sensitivity?

[outmywindow]

Yeah, I said member sensitivity.

But seriously, how -- if at all -- have you become spoiled by INTPc's relatively 'thick-skinned' atmosphere in comparison to other places on the web? Over the past two or three days I've been casually posting at another place not related to MBTI and am amazed at how generally touchy everyone is. My usual posting style (which was solidified here) is NOT working. I find myself laughing at the supposed mini conflict I'm involved in, thinking to myself that this would never have even been an issue around here.

Also sorely to my detriment is my comparatively dry, concise style. I've already been accused of being arrogant after only 13 posts, when in fact I was simply being objectively honest. Oops. ;)

I find the whole proceedings rather hilarious, and wanted to know if this sort of thing had happened to anyone else, especially on a forum unrelated to type theory (I know MBTIc and INTJf have sprouted their share of friction, but because of the MBTI connection, I assume people are more ...expecting of differences in communication styles).

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately, the only other forum I hang out at these days is a small community forum which sprouted from a gaming related forum. I wouldn't say that the people are any more sensitive on a whole, but it's certainly a far more, well, simple atmosphere, I guess.

But when I used to hang out at the WoW forums (I know, I know), oh man. People would take offense over the slightest of things.

We've had our share of nutcases, but it seems there's far more emotionally unstable people on the other corners of the internet.

[Oso Mocoso]

I post a little bit on a few other forums. Most of the ones I tend to frequent seem full of people who I think would mostly fit in here. There have been a few incidents where posters flipped out over perceived slights, but most of those people seem to be marginalized by the community.

When I was interacting with online classmates at biz school, there were a few times I got into online spats with SJs (yes, they typed all of us). One particular SJ woman I fought with online was someone I got along with pretty well in person. Somehow, online she started barking orders at people like a drill sergeant. In text ... a total bitch. In person, pretty likable.

[garak]

Well, I'm an elitist pseudo-intellectual, so the only other place that I really converse much is reddit, which is full of NTs and fairly similar to the tone here.

[Llewellyn]

It shows that way too much is still being done in this world. The web of tiny rituals that dizzies us.

[Archvile]

This is by far the most mellow forum I visit. In the two other places I hang around sometimes, you can expect a warm-hearted "fuck u" as a likely response to almost everything you post...
.

[MerieM]

As I am an old member in another forum once I said something like : "Jurassic members, dinosaurs of the forum.." another asked : "What dinosaurs are you talking about?" I said : "it was a joke for old members, you can be a dinosaur too" he took that as an agressive answer! that's crazy ! But I do survive in other forums with being myself, I am used to accept people hoping one day they will think about accepting others, and there are few people who do.

[Delilah]

My posting style, overall, was solidified before I came here, so I can't say that I have noticed. I do tend to study any new forum I am considering before I decide to jump in. I am very aware that I would not fit in most places, so I choose places where I recognize at least a few others who aren't weak, sensitive, pansy-ass motherfuckers so I have someone to play with.
Of course, sometimes I make them cry too, but, I don't see how that is my problem.
Fucking posers.

[djm]

I don't post on other forums.

[kendoiwan]

I don't expect people to be offend by a random "fuck off" :popcorn:

[Ivy]

Yeah, I said member sensitivity.

But seriously, how -- if at all -- have you become spoiled by INTPc's relatively 'thick-skinned' atmosphere in comparison to other places on the web? Over the past two or three days I've been casually posting at another place not related to MBTI and am amazed at how generally touchy everyone is. My usual posting style (which was solidified here) is NOT working. I find myself laughing at the supposed mini conflict I'm involved in, thinking to myself that this would never have even been an issue around here.

Also sorely to my detriment is my comparatively dry, concise style. I've already been accused of being arrogant after only 13 posts, when in fact I was simply being objectively honest. Oops. ;)

I find the whole proceedings rather hilarious, and wanted to know if this sort of thing had happened to anyone else, especially on a forum unrelated to type theory (I know MBTIc and INTJf have sprouted their share of friction, but because of the MBTI connection, I assume people are more ...expecting of differences in communication styles).


Heh. Would you believe I actually have to moderate myself here a little more strongly than I do at some of the parenting forums I also visit?

[kendoiwan]

Heh. Would you believe I actually have to moderate myself here a little more strongly than I do at some of the parenting forums I also visit?

Fuck off Ivy!!!:gm:

[Ivy]

Fuck off Ivy!!!:gm:

Lick my sack! :wub:

[kendoiwan]

Lick my sack! :wub:

:referee: Flag on the play: your "sack" is attached to your husband:mellow:

:rules: The rules clearly state u can't invite me to lick body parts not attached to you're body, dirty pool, I say:sadbanana:

[C.J.Woolf]

All of the boards on which I have posted were full of blunt and opinionated people except for the Enneagram Institute board, but I like to think I'm good at adjusting my posting style to fit in.

I do have to say that I really enjoy the freedom (so to speak) of INTPc. My first board addiction was an unmoderated humor site that was like the Wild West; anything went as long as you tried to be funny. I had been looking for something like it for years when I found INTPc.








To belabor the what-should-be-obvious: Yes, I'm mainly here for a good laugh.

[outmywindow]

I don't expect people to be offend by a random "fuck off" :popcorn:
I know you're joking, but that's kind of my point. I didn't even say anything remotely pointed or offensive! All I did was disagree with someone on a personal opinion. I didn't even bring up the subject matter. All of a sudden though, some third party jumps in with these curt "Wow. You are soooo arrogant." After that I attempted to explain myself using neutral language, and simply pointed out that yes, my opinion was and is contrary, and that it's just that: my opinion. The super sensitive gal then gave me another "Wow. Just wow," and follows it up with "How about we agree to disagree before someone gets hurt and offended on a deeper than surface level."

LOL. And keep in mind, none of this was from the person I addressed my initial comment towards.

[digesthisickness]

I know you're joking, but that's kind of my point. I didn't even say anything remotely pointed or offensive! All I did was disagree with someone on a personal opinion. I didn't even bring up the subject matter. All of a sudden though, some third party jumps in with these curt "Wow. You are soooo arrogant." After that I attempted to explain myself using neutral language, and simply pointed out that yes, my opinion was and is contrary, and that it's just that: my opinion. The super sensitive gal then gave me another "Wow. Just wow," and follows it up with "How about we agree to disagree before someone gets hurt and offended on a deeper than surface level."

LOL. And keep in mind, none of this was from the person I addressed my initial comment towards.

i don't think the problem is you.

[kendoiwan]

i don't think the problem is you.

fuck off:gm:

[digesthisickness]

see what i mean?

[outmywindow]

i don't think the problem is you.
I know, which is why I'm so spoiled, and why I found the proceedings so funny.

[digesthisickness]

I know, which is why I'm so spoiled, and why I found the proceedings so funny.

no, i mean that nutbag should be the one feeling out of place. whether on a forum or on the beach.

but, of course, that type never does.

[Toonia]

This thread has made me wonder about the relationship between INTPc and the internet as a whole. The stereotype of internet communication is that it is "rude, bullying, and cruel, etc." I'm wondering if either there is a backlash against that so that people are being overly polite in some contexts and/or if the reputation is actually based on sensitivity and misunderstanding. Also worth mentioning is that if the intent of a poster is misconstrued from making a legitimate statement, then perhaps that would be an example of internet rudeness not over-politeness? I would say being personally accused of arrogance is the example of internet rudeness because it is a personal attack.

From my perspective any site that can produce coherent conversations would not fit the category of excessive rudeness. Just from my own internet travels, INTPc seems about middle of the road in terms of communication style. No one threatens anyone's life here or rants in a dehumanizing manner and such, but opinions are expressed directly. The philosophy forums I've hung out at are similar in that regard. I have seen sites that are more touchy as well.

[garak]

This thread has made me wonder about the relationship between INTPc and the internet as a whole. The stereotype of internet communication is that it is "rude, bullying, and cruel, etc." I'm wondering if either there is a backlash against that so that people are being overly polite in some contexts and/or if the reputation is actually based on sensitivity and misunderstanding. Also worth mentioning is that if the intent of a poster is misconstrued from making a legitimate statement, then perhaps that would be an example of internet rudeness not over-politeness? I would say being personally accused of arrogance is the example of internet rudeness because it is a personal attack.

From my perspective any site that can produce coherent conversations would not fit the category of excessive rudeness. Just from my own internet travels, INTPc seems about middle of the road in terms of communication style. No one threatens anyone's life here or rants in a dehumanizing manner and such, but opinions are expressed directly. The philosophy forums I've hung out at are similar in that regard. I have seen sites that are more touchy as well.

Trash on the internet is as alive and well as ever. I think you've sheltered yourself. Forums about philosophy and INTPs are incredibly thoughtful and civil compared to what else is out there.

[kendoiwan]

Trash on the internet is as alive and well as ever. I think you've sheltered yourself. Forums about philosophy and INTPs are incredibly thoughtful and civil compared to what else is out there.

:2up:Up yours Mack

[Anonymous]

i don't think the problem is you.

Why must your rational cynicism always ruin our fun. ;)

[kendoiwan]

No one threatens anyone's life here

I threatened to kick the dogshit out of SIL a couple years ago before we made nice:gm:

[starla]

The only other forum I post on is basically a local forum, and most threads are people looking for recommendations and such. I can be fairly direct on there, and people rarely get upset by it, or if they do they don't show it. Occasionally people take things personally, but I think if you end a negative or critical post with smiley, they aren't allowed to get offended. Kind of one of those unwritten social rules that everyone talks about. Lots of smileys going around over there.

What I am spoiled by is people getting my jokes and knowing when I am and am not being serious. IRL, I get awkward silences and confused looks, and am told I'm "hard to read". I like to think people around here even get my more subtle jokes, even if no one posts a :rofl:. Maybe I flatter myself.

[sandwich]

OMW- maybe INTPc has spoiled you in that a person like that would be immediately ostracized and/or deified after pulling such shit here. It isn't that you're less sensitive, but those people are unlikely to frequent this board.

[Jennywocky]

I don't know.

I just know I come here when I don't feel like having to edit my comments so as to avoid stepping on someone's toes. It gets old after awhile, dealing with the oversensitivities.

I can even be purposefully offensive here, and no one really cares -- it's like everyone's on emotional novacaine or something.

[Ptah]

I realized I'd probably get banned from any other forum. *shrug*

(More thoughts (http://forums.intpcentral.com/showthread.php?p=933424#post933424))

[Ferrus]

I am more impressed at people's ability to recognise sarcasm, and their general intellectual nonchalance. Which makes for my being happier here than anywhere else (and thus my post count).

[kendoiwan]

I am more impressed at people's ability to recognise sarcasm, and their general intellectual nonchalance. Which makes for my being happier here than anywhere else (and thus my post count).

Hey wtf with the British spelling and shit? :mad:

[helium]

I have not detected any particular difference in how I feel about communicating with people here as compared to communicating with people via other forums, online or otherwise. One's tendency to be precise (pedantic, if you prefer) can render communication difficult without regard to the tendencies of the other parties involved. It's almost impossible to anticipate how any single person is going to specifically interpret a set of words, however detailed. I detect one difference between what I see here and what I see elsewhere: folks here to get bent out of shape about definitions and what constitutes a fact, whereas folks elsewhere may get bent out of shape about morals or feelings or social expectations, with respect to the words chosen to communicate their ideas.

[stopharian]

Hey wtf with the British spelling and shit? :mad:

Do you see a little picture of St.George stuffing a Javelin through the eyeball of a dragon directly below Ferrus' user name? If so take a hint....The man is British.

edited to add: unless thats Joan of arc killing a frog....then never mind.

[kendoiwan]

Do you see a little picture of St.George stuffing a Javelin through the eyeball of a dragon directly below Ferrus' user name? If so take a hint....The man is British.

Duh... That was the whole point:mellow:

[Rhu]

Except for the very rare accusations of condescension when I'm focusing on writing precisely, I never really have problems anywhere I go. Though there is a slightly different flavor to responses in different places.



Example: Earlier today, I made a post on a MMO forum attempting to encapsulate the woes of a part of the community in one of those metaphoric digressions that I'll do from time to time.

Half a dozen quotes, and the response was universally positive. I think. There was one person that responded with nothing but Slayer lyrics, and you can't really be sure if that can even be intended as a good thing.

[syzygy]

I don't post on any other forums, but ever since I started to post here, people in real life have been complaining about my (apparent) rudeness. WTF.

[Kennewickman]

My main daily website is Fark.com, so I am getting a real kick out of some of these replies ...

[dscotese]

So there are girls that are NTs? Damn, I should have met one when I was younger. Though I suppose that can be murder on the children.

I'm glad I read this thread. I'm a lot more comfortable around people with thick skin. This place is like a breath of fresh air. Thanks MBTI Test!

Now I think some people will get a kick out of this list. They're just terms and if you google the ones you don't know about, as an INTP, I promise you good times. And it will help us take over the world, which is really what is needed (not by force, BTW).
"austrian economics"
"condorcet voting"
"the term conspiracy theory"
litmocracy

[Delilah]

So there are girls that are NTs? Damn, I should have met one when I was younger. Though I suppose that can be murder on the children.

That kind of made me want to slap the taste out of your mouth.

[outmywindow]

So there are girls that are NTs?
Yes, and with bigger Ns than you've got.

[Shades of Gray]

Yes, and with bigger Ns than you've got.

Bigger Ns are ok, but bigger Ts are better. TTs you could say.



INTPc hasn't spoiled me at all. What it has made me realize is that being considerate isn't based on type.

[kuranes]

I got into a big kerfuffle the other day on a new forum that I had just joined. It was a forum dedicated to a musical artist/composer that we all ( as members ) presumable admire. I told them that I had only been exposed to 7 or 8 albums by this person. I said that I overwhelmingly preferred a certain early work by the artist, and then I asked for recommendations of works that were somewhat similar. ( This would be like someone referring me to another Neo-Realist film, if I had said to a Fellini forum that I liked "La Strada" but didn't like "Amarcord" and other impressionist films from his later period. ) I thought this was a simple enough request, and one example of the exact sort of thing that a forum is created to do. This was my first post there.

There were a couple forum members who were not mods or admins, but who claimed to be "speaking for the community" nevertheless, who immediately jumped on this ( to me ) innocent request and started attacking me for "being annoying to everyone". If I hadn't built up a thick skin as regards to dealing with people like that ( from here - you know who you are ) I might have felt very unsure what to do about it, other than to stop posting and lurk, which is apparently what most people do on this forum. (There are many threads with like 3000 some views and 50 some actual posts. People tip-toeing around, unsure what will set off these "senior members", I suppose, which is completely in contrast with the rebellious spirit of the artist in question. )

The critic started by saying that I should listen to ALL of the artist's work, because it was all interconnected, and each album special in its own way, etc. The others were basically piling on after this criticism. You'd be surprised how far they were willing to build on this, questioning my motives for coming there, etc. I told them it made more sense to me to ask advice from knowledgeable people than to just randomly buy albums by this person, as my wallet had limited options, amongst other considerations. They countered with questions about free samples that Amazon and others offered, as a better way to learn. I acknowledged that this idea ( which hadn't immediately struck me ) might be a limited help, but that I thought it worthwhile asking anyway. I won't go into detail on all the back and forth, but suffice it to say the main "point man" who was leading this attack ended up finally doing what I had asked.

[Ferrus]

In truth, I have never seen this site as being especially brutal to its members. Intellectually honest and up for a good banter, yes, but not crudely hostile. Yes there can be the occasional witch hunt - like anywhere - but there is never open rudeness or idiocy towards others which is the main reason such places are so heavily moderated. I have seen truly anarchic forums and they are nothing like here, although the distillation of types at this board helps.

[kendoiwan]

That kind of made me want to slap the taste out of your mouth.

You can slap the taste outta my mouth any time:wub:

[Limey]

My main daily website is Fark.com, so I am getting a real kick out of some of these replies ...

I'm usually too busy at work to look at other sites....
http://grampyshouse.net/cliches/galleries/M/mustard.jpg

[syzygy]

So there are girls that are NTs?

Yeah it sucks.

[MountainHiker]

But seriously, how -- if at all -- have you become spoiled by INTPc's relatively 'thick-skinned' atmosphere in comparison to other places on the web? Over the past two or three days I've been casually posting at another place not related to MBTI and am amazed at how generally touchy everyone is. My usual posting style (which was solidified here) is NOT working. I find myself laughing at the supposed mini conflict I'm involved in, thinking to myself that this would never have even been an issue around here.

You are right, this place will spoil you. I've been here a relatively short time and so far this is the best message board I've ever been to. Elsewhere I inevitably piss off someone who's going to set me straight. So they begin to think they're beating up on me really bad until I tire of their feeble efforts and unleash hell on their ass. Then I usually get kicked off the board. It's happened many more times than I can remember.

Here however, I can usually relate to what is being said and how it's being said. I actually do laugh out loud at things I read here. What a nice change of pace! But you do present a possible quandary: will posting here spoil me if I go to other boards with a high non-INTP weenie to INTP ratio? Most likely, but I usually get kicked off of them anyway now as it is. I might as well hone my craft here where I actually enjoy posting and reading.

[Arachne]

It's nice to have a place to go where I feel like a regular jane.

I don't post on other sites anymore. I've tried a few but nothing has caught. Back in the olden days NTs and otherwise intelligent people made up a significant portion of the internet population. Now the mix of people online more closely resembles real life... only with fewer social constraints.

[starla]

Yeah it sucks.

Why does it suck?

[Helios]

Meh, my total post across the rest of the internet aren't 10% of what I have subjected this place to. So yeah, I don't post any where else more or less.

[camille]

I posted on another forum and was called insensitive, a bully, and other select names I'd rather not mention.

I like it here very much.

[Shades of Gray]

I posted on another forum and was called insensitive, a bully, and other select names I'd rather not mention.

I like it here very much.

That's hilarious!

Love the INFP. :wub: :hug:

[syzygy]

Why does it suck?

I don't actually mean that - I'm just very existentially angsty and bitter about pretty much everything right now.

I've never felt female in any way though, aside from in the physical sense. I don't feel male either, I just feel like a person, and I hate grouping myself with the rest of the women because I don't identify with them at all.

[camille]

That's hilarious!

Love the INFP. :wub: :hug:

Well, the forum was primarily made up of INFPs of varying ages. I think that whole 'if you don't agree with me then you must think there's something wrong with me as a person' thing had a lot to do with the hate.

As far as I know, I'm only being ignored by one person here, and I toss that one up to the awesome love rays I exude. :p

[walfin]

Well, the forum was primarily made up of INFPs of varying ages.

INFPgc?

Shudder

[camille]

INFPgc?

Shudder

Different forum...but INFPgc didn't like me very much either, which is how I ended up here.

[digesthisickness]

Different forum...but INFPgc didn't like me very much either, which is how I ended up here.

i can't remember you ever having been offensive, or even close to it, on this forum. if you have, i'd like the link(s).

[MacGuffin]

i can't remember you ever having been offensive, or even close to it, on this forum. if you have, i'd like the link(s).

It's not about rudeness, that's not how the INFPs roll.

It's about not being in harmony with the others. They get all het up.

[digesthisickness]

It's not about rudeness, that's not how the INFPs roll.

It's about not being in harmony with the others. They get all het up.

accidental rudeness?

[MacGuffin]

accidental rudeness?

There you go. If you don't fit in (and camille isn't your typical INFP) then you're an agitator.

[digesthisickness]

There you go. If you don't fit in (and camille isn't your typical INFP) then you're an agitator.

ah. then i guess my decision to avoid that forum was even better than i thought.

[MacGuffin]

ah. then i guess my decision to avoid that forum was even better than i thought.

They'd hate you.

Want to join up and go trade posts there?

[digesthisickness]

They'd hate you.

Want to join up and go trade posts there?

sure. a good banning should liven up my day of laundry.

however, i don't want to troll. i want to be hated for myself or not at all.

[camille]

i can't remember you ever having been offensive, or even close to it, on this forum. if you have, i'd like the link(s).

I posted on those forums like I post here...on one I was more silly but I know several of the people off the net.

I think mainly it was because there was lots of talk about how horrible the people in their lives were and how terrible they were treated, and whenever I suggested ways to deal with it that involved communication and action, I was hounded for being insensitive. They constantly complained about how people stepped all over their sensitivities, yet refused to acknowledge that they could be taking things harder than most because of those sensitivities and should adjust accordingly.

I was a basketcase as a child and used my own experiences to connect to the topics, much like I do here. Only some took it that I was suggesting my story was worse....a competition. I've noticed that a lot among immature INFPs. As much as they say they are too sensitive and don't like to compete, they are always trying to one up somebody on the hardluck stories and feel as though if someone comes back with a similar story, they are trying to take the attention. That is why I had difficulty there...not so much sharing and trying to work through issues as it was trying to prove how sensitive they were by telling how horrible they have it in life because of those sensitivities.

And all the love, my God. I have a genuine love for everyone, and I always try to seek out a bit of good in people, but I save the adoration for private communication.

I have never felt like the typical INFP, as Mac suggested. And even here I felt uncomfortable, at first, until I started to open up and let you all see inside. I have wondered if it has more to do with maturity level than me not being an INFP.

I've honed in my compassion and empathy so they aren't spread out to global proportions. I think many INFPs, at least the ones I've spoken with, feel that they have to feel pain and happiness for the entire world or else it means they aren't sensitive and caring and empathetic. No use of emotion blockers there, and I think that causes a good deal of the drama and turmoil in INFPs.

As much as everyone talks about some of the other types being stuck on material worth and power and such, I see the INFPs doing something similar with their emotional worth. It's competitive, it's saddening, and it's hard to deal with folks like that.

[MacGuffin]

sure. a good banning should liven up my day of laundry.

however, i don't want to troll. i want to be hated for myself or not at all.

I'd never suggest being anything other than yourself!

[digesthisickness]

I posted on those forums like I post here...on one I was more silly but I know several of the people off the net.

I think mainly it was because there was lots of talk about how horrible the people in their lives were and how terrible they were treated, and whenever I suggested ways to deal with it that involved communication and action, I was hounded for being insensitive. They constantly complained about how people stepped all over their sensitivities, yet refused to acknowledge that they could be taking things harder than most because of those sensitivities and should adjust accordingly.

I was a basketcase as a child and used my own experiences to connect to the topics, much like I do here. Only some took it that I was suggesting my story was worse....a competition. I've noticed that a lot among immature INFPs. As much as they say they are too sensitive and don't like to compete, they are always trying to one up somebody on the hardluck stories and feel as though if someone comes back with a similar story, they are trying to take the attention. That is why I had difficulty there...not so much sharing and trying to work through issues as it was trying to prove how sensitive they were by telling how horrible they have it in life because of those sensitivities.

And all the love, my God. I have a genuine love for everyone, and I always try to seek out a bit of good in people, but I save the adoration for private communication.

I have never felt like the typical INFP, as Mac suggested. And even here I felt uncomfortable, at first, until I started to open up and let you all see inside. I have wondered if it has more to do with maturity level than me not being an INFP.

I've honed in my compassion and empathy so they aren't spread out to global proportions. I think many INFPs, at least the ones I've spoken with, feel that they have to feel pain and happiness for the entire world or else it means they aren't sensitive and caring and empathetic. No use of emotion blockers there, and I think that causes a good deal of the drama and turmoil in INFPs.

As much as everyone talks about some of the other types being stuck on material worth and power and such, I see the INFPs doing something similar with their emotional worth. It's competitive, it's saddening, and it's hard to deal with folks like that.

oh. my. god.

i wouldn't survive a day there. i'm not even sure i could stick around long enough to be banned.

[A Schnitzel]

oh. my. god.

i wouldn't survive a day there. i'm not even sure i could stick around long enough to be banned.

What?
You don't think your sad victim stories could stand up to the weight of their sad victim stories?

Don't be intimidated by those INFPs.

[digesthisickness]

What?
You don't think your sad victim stories could stand up to the weight of their sad victim stories?

Don't be intimidated by those INFPs.

i don't have it in me to be a proud victim.

[amelia_underwood]

... I've honed in my compassion and empathy so they aren't spread out to global proportions. I think many INFPs, at least the ones I've spoken with, feel that they have to feel pain and happiness for the entire world or else it means they aren't sensitive and caring and empathetic. No use of emotion blockers there, and I think that causes a good deal of the drama and turmoil in INFPs.

I absolutely agree with this. My sister is an INFP, my advice to her is always "their pain doesn't have to be your pain." She really goes to the wall sometimes over other people's experiences, to her own detriment. She doesn't play the martyr though thankfully.

[s0978]

Yes, I've been posting on some forums which are predominantly women, and while I haven't gotten called out personally for being insensitive, I've had to roll my eyes at how they emotionally police each other and get into unwarranted mini cat fights for rudeness and whatnot.

[walfin]

ah. then i guess my decision to avoid that forum was even better than i thought.

No, INFPgc is actually quite OK.

Some of them seem to think we're the problematic forum though. Offhand, I remember a post along the lines of "INTPc? Run like mad".

A different way of communicating, that's all, I suppose.

And no, camille, I don't think it's anything to do with not being an INFP or maturity level. It's more likely that you've just gotten used to INTPc :p.

[Park]

In periods where I post a lot here I sometimes to get in trouble IRL. I sometimes surround myself with very sensitive people and jumping from one extreme to another messes up my own perception of what's acceptable and what's not. On one hand, I've been in RL situations where I've apologuised to a bunch of unresonable feelers where I don't think I should have and on the other, I've brushed away criticism (about being unsensitive) which I perceive to be valid in retrospect.

[camille]

A different way of communicating, that's all, I suppose.

And no, camille, I don't think it's anything to do with not being an INFP or maturity level. It's more likely that you've just gotten used to INTPc :p.

I find that interesting, considering I should be communicating in a similar fashion as other INFPs. At least find something recognizable in them. The only thing I see in other INFPs that I have seen in myself is concern for others, and behavior I exhibited in my teens (although not nearly as outward and gushy as those on INFP forums, much more subdued and private). I don't rage my emotions. I have a very strong sense of empathy, but keep it on a leash. I don't get personally offended when others disagree with my ideas. I toss don't out the :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :grin: :grin: :grin: ;) ;) ;) :happpy: :happpy: :sadbanana: .

I've felt this way for a very long time, and reading over profiles, INFP suits me the best, but around other INFPs, I feel like I'm somewhere else....not connecting.

I've all but chalked it up to life experience (ha - competition) and maturity. Don't know what else it could be. The INFPs who are here are much more like me than those on INFP forums. Much more reflective, thoughtful, and less likely to pitch a fit.

[foodeater]

stuff


My INFP friend is a lot more like an INTP than the forum INFP's too. I was surprised when he tested as an F.

[Etherealsage]

Hah, normally I watch what I say. (I'm an INFP, what do you expect?) While I'm here, I can completely unleash what I have to say, no premeditated or afterthought editing. So far, I've only offended one person. xD That one was a misunderstanding though, heh.

[Etherealsage]

No, INFPgc is actually quite OK.

Some of them seem to think we're the problematic forum though. Offhand, I remember a post along the lines of "INTPc? Run like mad".

A different way of communicating, that's all, I suppose.

And no, camille, I don't think it's anything to do with not being an INFP or maturity level. It's more likely that you've just gotten used to INTPc :p.

Most of us are actually quite sane and stable, and I'm over there too, same name and all.

@ camille, you were obviously in the venting forum (or perhaps a relationship/romance one if the INFP was really frustrated), lol. As for the suggesting of competition, my GUESS (and it is only a guess) is that your story was just too different from theirs and it turned into a misunderstanding. Either that or you had been talking to one moody individual. I, on occasion, bitch like that with friends, mostly to vent out my frustration before someone stupid does something that made me label them as stupid in the first place and trigger a burst of anger I can't hold back (this has not happened in years). I'm actually quite capable of fixing these problems, I'm usually the problem-solver in my little groups even, I just felt like ranting my ass off for a few moments (that's basically it, lol). Other INFP's I've seen just want acknowledgement (usually by telling them that you understand or encouragement or something along those lines) to show that you care, and that makes them feel better. Personally, I'm not that much of a feeler, I used to test INTP when I was younger and I seem to more relate to (and always test as) INFP now.

My last piece of advice, don't suggest we should be any different than we are (or adjust, as you put it), we're quite proud of who we are (aren't we all?), and some INFP's take the suggestion to change as a personal attack if you phrase it badly (in other words, bluntly, most INFP's don't respond well to constructive criticism in the first place and most of you would probably get slightly annoyed if the whole world tried telling you that you weren't sensitive enough or something when you were being honest about yourself). Attacking an Fi-derived value never ends well, lol.

[camille]

Most of us are actually quite sane and stable, and I'm over there too, same name and all.

@ camille, you were obviously in the venting forum (or perhaps a relationship/romance one if the INFP was really frustrated), lol. As for the suggesting of competition, my GUESS (and it is only a guess) is that your story was just too different from theirs and it turned into a misunderstanding. Either that or you had been talking to one moody individual. I, on occasion, bitch like that with friends, mostly to vent out my frustration before someone stupid does something that made me label them as stupid in the first place and trigger a burst of anger I can't hold back (this has not happened in years). I'm actually quite capable of fixing these problems, I'm usually the problem-solver in my little groups even, I just felt like ranting my ass off for a few moments (that's basically it, lol). Other INFP's I've seen just want acknowledgement (usually by telling them that you understand or encouragement or something along those lines) to show that you care, and that makes them feel better. Personally, I'm not that much of a feeler, I used to test INTP when I was younger and I seem to more relate to (and always test as) INFP now.

My last piece of advice, don't suggest we should be any different than we are (or adjust, as you put it), we're quite proud of who we are (aren't we all?), and some INFP's take the suggestion to change as a personal attack if you phrase it badly (in other words, bluntly, most INFP's don't respond well to constructive criticism in the first place and most of you would probably get slightly annoyed if the whole world tried telling you that you weren't sensitive enough or something when you were being honest about yourself). Attacking an Fi-derived value never ends well, lol.


It's been over two years since I was on INFPg. I never noticed there was a specific venting forum back then. LOL

And no, the feeling didn't come from one or two specific people, but the majority of the forum.

On the other forum, which was predominantly INFPs, I was a member, moderator, and mediator for three years. I saw the same issues on that forum that I saw at INFPg. I've maintained three very close friendships from that forum and all three are INFPs who were also tired of the wallowing.

Adjusting, though, I have to disagree. I wasn't very clear about what I meant either so I'll explain.

If you complain for six months that you hate your job because everyone bullies you and doesn't understand how sensitive you are, and can't get it that whenever you watch the news you are sick to your stomach for a week, then you need to quit your job and find one where you are comfortable, and stop telling people you can't watch the news because of how sensitive you are. Just don't watch the news.

If INFPs are proud of their sensitivities, and feel they are different because of those sensitivities, then they have to understand that not everyone feels those sensitivities and expecting them to understand, or play nice all the time, is stretching it.

I never saw much acceptance of self when I was around those INFPs. By adjusting, what I meant, was understanding that others can't see or understand how you feel inside. Instead of expecting them to acknowledge those sensitivities, you have to change how you see them and adjust your emotions from negative thoughts, which lead to negative behaviors, and replace those emotions with self acceptance and understanding.

I never expect people to understand me. I never expect people to give me what I want and need. Instead, I embrace it when I find it. I make no bones about being different. Ask around. LOL I don't change who I am. Years ago, I thought people treated me badly because they wouldn't understand me and accept the person I am. Now I see that I was lashing out because I didn't accept myself to begin with, and I changed wouldn't with couldn't. Once you adjust, and stop looking at every person you meet as a companion in life who owes you understanding and sensitivity for the person you are, and start looking for that inside, life is much better.

My situation is different than many people's experiences, regardless of type. I think saying my situation is different, and therefore led to a misunderstanding is an excuse. I'm not quick to jump into an argument and get personally affronted because someone suggests I live differently or think differently or feel differently. But I saw outrage on those INFP forums time and time again when someone suggested a person get a different job, or find somewhere else to live, or tell his mom he doesn't like fruitloops for breakfast.

Sometimes I write things here that some people identify with and others haven't a clue what I felt when I wrote it. But nobody pms me and says I need to watch the content of my posts because some people are sensitive to posts about drug abuse or physical abuse.

I think what separates me, mainly, from the other INFPs I've met online, is that I really, truly do not think people have to step around my feelings. I throw them out there, and if they get squashed a little, I fluff them up and move on. I don't sit on the curb and proclaim how unfair it is to be me.

[Shades of Gray]

Sometimes I write things here that some people identify with and others haven't a clue what I felt when I wrote it. But nobody pms me and says I need to watch the content of my posts because some people are sensitive to posts about drug abuse or physical abuse.


This is bouncing around in my head tickling an idea.

I notice that I'm much more critical of other INTPs than I am of other types. I expect other types to be different, so I am easier able to accept those differences. With fellow INTPs though, it really bugs me when they act 'too' J like, or 'too' E. The whole familiarity breeds contempt thing.

[Jennywocky]

I notice that I'm much more critical of other INTPs than I am of other types. I expect other types to be different, so I am easier able to accept those differences. With fellow INTPs though, it really bugs me when they act 'too' J like, or 'too' E. The whole familiarity breeds contempt thing.

Hmmm, I do notice I get more pissed when a self-proclaimed INTP acts really "J." I also expect a certain clarity of thought that I don't expect from others. (Probably the Ti + Si combination annoys me most, where a vital Ne gets dumped.)

[camille]

See, that's partially what turned me off to the INFP forums.

There is talk of freedom to express yourself, your feelings, finally feeling comfortable because other people won't judge you for how or what you feel. I was expected to tone down my talk (which was the same stuff I've posted here) because some people are sensitive to talk about drug abuse, etc. because they have experienced it....? I was writing about my experiences living through those trials.

I don't know. You guys know how I write. If you don't like it, or it offends you, don't read it, you know?

I think some people use 'I'm too sensitive' as a crutch not to deal with real issues, and therefore live miserable lives. I think there is a difference between being sensitive (because I see that sensitivity in many different types of people) and being insecure.


EDIT: I also wonder how much this has to do with 'can' people and 'do' people, because I saw an awful lot of that also.

[Etherealsage]

If you complain for six months that you hate your job because everyone bullies you and doesn't understand how sensitive you are, and can't get it that whenever you watch the news you are sick to your stomach for a week, then you need to quit your job and find one where you are comfortable, and stop telling people you can't watch the news because of how sensitive you are. Just don't watch the news.
That one I agree with, though being me, I would do something about it first (i.e. listen to music while others indulge themselves with the news in my vicinity, and I have been known to do that, then it's a non-issue).


If INFPs are proud of their sensitivities, and feel they are different because of those sensitivities, then they have to understand that not everyone feels those sensitivities and expecting them to understand, or play nice all the time, is stretching it.
I agree, but I think some INFP's play an avoidance game where those people are concerned. Most INFP's I have met (online or otherwise) openly admit to being avoidant of social circumstances.


I never saw much acceptance of self when I was around those INFPs. By adjusting, what I meant, was understanding that others can't see or understand how you feel inside. Instead of expecting them to acknowledge those sensitivities, you have to change how you see them and adjust your emotions from negative thoughts, which lead to negative behaviors, and replace those emotions with self acceptance and understanding.
You and I have had different experiences here. (And I have a different philosophy myself, which is to let myself have them, then let them go after acknowledging whether or not it is irrational to feel this way, once the logical part of me kicks in obviously, which works well enough for me.) The INFP's I have conversed with understand and accept others differences, don't expect such behaviors from them, and thus avoid them. As I understand it, INFPgc itself is intended to be an INFP community though, and the expectations that are set are different, as the intent was originally INFP to INFP communication. So I go there to talk about my random interests from a feeler perspective, and I come here to talk about my random interests from a thinker perspective. Admittedly, the two merge somewhat, but I can come up with enough logical backing to satisfy most here (or at least I hope, else I'm deluding myself and am in sore need of disillusionment) and I can come up with enough feeler perspective to get INFP's to understand my reasoning.


I never expect people to understand me. I never expect people to give me what I want and need. Instead, I embrace it when I find it. I make no bones about being different. Ask around. LOL I don't change who I am. Years ago, I thought people treated me badly because they wouldn't understand me and accept the person I am. Now I see that I was lashing out because I didn't accept myself to begin with, and I changed wouldn't with couldn't. Once you adjust, and stop looking at every person you meet as a companion in life who owes you understanding and sensitivity for the person you are, and start looking for that inside, life is much better.

I cannot really relate to this honestly, nor can I understand it other than comprehending the chain of events that arose from the cause because my path in life was just too different (like you said about yourself after this, my personality came to be in rather unique circumstances).


My situation is different than many people's experiences, regardless of type. I think saying my situation is different, and therefore led to a misunderstanding is an excuse. I'm not quick to jump into an argument and get personally affronted because someone suggests I live differently or think differently or feel differently. But I saw outrage on those INFP forums time and time again when someone suggested a person get a different job, or find somewhere else to live, or tell his mom he doesn't like fruitloops for breakfast.
Ah, honestly, I can't help you there. I've never come up with an explanation other than appealing to their feelings (rather than just bluntly stating to the logical step to solve the issue) allowed me to avoid any such... well, I'll call it pointlessness, for there is nothing constructive about what you said happened.


Sometimes I write things here that some people identify with and others haven't a clue what I felt when I wrote it. But nobody pms me and says I need to watch the content of my posts because some people are sensitive to posts about drug abuse or physical abuse.

I think what separates me, mainly, from the other INFPs I've met online, is that I really, truly do not think people have to step around my feelings. I throw them out there, and if they get squashed a little, I fluff them up and move on. I don't sit on the curb and proclaim how unfair it is to be me.
You and me both. I mesh well wherever I go though, INFPgc included. Not exactly the most well-liked personality there, but I feel as though I'm respected, despite my constantly differing opinions (you should have seen my debate regarding the death penalty, it was interesting to say the least, lol). I suspect I remain an unknown curiosity because I share so little personal data (the reason for that is actually rather simple though, I'm the only Etherealsage I've seen on the net except for some bowling site, and everyone that knows me knows that).

[Etherealsage]

See, that's partially what turned me off to the INFP forums.

There is talk of freedom to express yourself, your feelings, finally feeling comfortable because other people won't judge you for how or what you feel. I was expected to tone down my talk (which was the same stuff I've posted here) because some people are sensitive to talk about drug abuse, etc. because they have experienced it....? I was writing about my experiences living through those trials.

I don't know. You guys know how I write. If you don't like it, or it offends you, don't read it, you know?

I think some people use 'I'm too sensitive' as a crutch not to deal with real issues, and therefore live miserable lives. I think there is a difference between being sensitive (because I see that sensitivity in many different types of people) and being insecure.


EDIT: I also wonder how much this has to do with 'can' people and 'do' people, because I saw an awful lot of that also.
Lol, type fours are to be feared? I don't know, if I don't like something I've read, I don't reply to it unless it's really inflammatory and attacks me personally. (I don't mean perceived attacks like "you shouldn't complain that you can breathe well if you smoked for x years," assuming I fit into that, and I don't, but that's an example, I mean something that directly attacks me "All x's are y," and I fit in the x model. Obviously it also has to be worse than a simple statement too, lol.)

For the record, I'm a can person more than a do person. :mellow:

[camille]

I agree, but I think some INFP's play an avoidance game where those people are concerned. Most INFP's I have met (online or otherwise) openly admit to being avoidant of social circumstances.

I'm not one for big crowds or loud people, and occasionally my hub has been known to drag me out of the house to go somewhere, but it isn't because I am fearful of people being insensitive to me. I like to be by myself because I enjoy myself and my interests.

There is this place where I go when I'm inside a big crowd that is very comfortable.


So I go there to talk about my random interests from a feeler perspective, and I come here to talk about my random interests from a thinker perspective. Admittedly, the two merge somewhat, but I can come up with enough logical backing to satisfy most here (or at least I hope, else I'm deluding myself and am in sore need of disillusionment) and I can come up with enough feeler perspective to get INFP's to understand my reasoning.

And what I really like about this forum is that I don't have to separate the two.



I've never come up with an explanation other than appealing to their feelings (rather than just bluntly stating to the logical step to solve the issue) allowed me to avoid any such... well, I'll call it pointlessness, for there is nothing constructive about what you said happened.

And this is why I can't be around INFPs who are so different from myself. I've vented myself on this forum, but there is always a desire to change what has upset me, or find an avenue that leads to solution, or at the very least, find a way to grow from the situation. Sympathies during a tragedy are always so appreciated. And in some situations, all you can offer someone is sympathy, but the majority of the pain and sorrow we experience in life can be eliminated or lessened if we find ways to move around or get out of the situation.

In an earlier post, you mentioned that most INFPs just want to be heard, acknowledged.

I'm sorry your husband beat you up again last night (and at least three times a week during your ten year marriage).
I'm sorry your boss made you feel worthless in front of the rest of the office, again this week.
I'm sorry that lady with more than twenty items cut in front of you in the express aisle, like someone does every time you get in the express aisle.

When people talk about those things, are they really wanting to be understood and heard? Or are they wanting sympathy?

And that is what I mean between 'can' people and 'do' people.

Here, people bitch and moan sometimes, but there isn't an out pour of condolences because some lady at the department store rolled her eyes in a poster's direction when she was checking out at the register.

On INFPg, it always felt like there was comradery in drama.

I came to INTPc because people on INFPg kept talking about how horrible and mean the INTPs were to each other. When I came and read, I found the posts hilarious and didn't see the abuse that was so often talked about on INFPg.

I think there are INFPs out there who are definitely strong enough to balance their feelings and the criticism from others in order to better their lives, and I am much more comfortable around those INFPs. This goes back to what I meant by maturity levels and life experience. People who want to grow and have good happy lives will find a way to make it happen. People who write about the drama in their lives and show no signs of growth or change do not appeal to me.

Part of what I like about this forum is that people show their weaknesses, not just the drama surrounding those weaknesses.

[Ivy]

I came to INTPc because people on INFPg kept talking about how horrible and mean the INTPs were to each other. When I came and read, I found the posts hilarious and didn't see the abuse that was so often talked about on INFPg.


That's funny- it's exactly why I came here. Someone on the ISFJ mailing list complained about everyone here being so mean, and I wanted to see for myself. I didn't find it mean, but I did find that there's no expectation of tiptoeing around everyone. That's what I get on the internet to escape in my daily life (and what I realized a year or so ago that I needed to stop doing IRL, too).

[Etherealsage]

And what I really like about this forum is that I don't have to separate the two.

I have to. My thoughts, as they are, are rarely understood by others (read my past posts, there's at least one example), and I eventually have to go in and tailor it for them to digest.


And this is why I can't be around INFPs who are so different from myself. I've vented myself on this forum, but there is always a desire to change what has upset me, or find an avenue that leads to solution, or at the very least, find a way to grow from the situation. Sympathies during a tragedy are always so appreciated. And in some situations, all you can offer someone is sympathy, but the majority of the pain and sorrow we experience in life can be eliminated or lessened if we find ways to move around or get out of the situation.

In an earlier post, you mentioned that most INFPs just want to be heard, acknowledged.

I'm sorry your husband beat you up again last night (and at least three times a week during your ten year marriage).
I'm sorry your boss made you feel worthless in front of the rest of the office, again this week.
I'm sorry that lady with more than twenty items cut in front of you in the express aisle, like someone does every time you get in the express aisle.

When people talk about those things, are they really wanting to be understood and heard? Or are they wanting sympathy?

And that is what I mean between 'can' people and 'do' people.

Here, people bitch and moan sometimes, but there isn't an out pour of condolences because some lady at the department store rolled her eyes in a poster's direction when she was checking out at the register.

On INFPg, it always felt like there was comradery in drama.

I... think that it would be better served if I just showed you a situation from someone who I believe was balanced. Shit happened to her, she bitched, she did something about it. She's also an INFP on INFPgc. http://infp.globalchatter.com/messageboard/viewtopic.php?t=11753 I'm not saying you didn't see what you saw, I'm just showing you that not everyone was, or is, like that. I would very quickly become annoyed if they were.


I came to INTPc because people on INFPg kept talking about how horrible and mean the INTPs were to each other. When I came and read, I found the posts hilarious and didn't see the abuse that was so often talked about on INFPg.

Heh heh, I don't know where that came from myself. I tested as an INTP not 3 years ago and was much more a T before then, soooo INTP's I know, I understand, I can deal with, I basically was one. (I subscribe to the possibility of having been a repressed F, but for all intents and purposes, Ti was used to understand the world most back then.)


I think there are INFPs out there who are definitely strong enough to balance their feelings and the criticism from others in order to better their lives, and I am much more comfortable around those INFPs. This goes back to what I meant by maturity levels and life experience. People who want to grow and have good happy lives will find a way to make it happen. People who write about the drama in their lives and show no signs of growth or change do not appeal to me.
Sounds like you're referring to an extreme egocentricity, lol. Well, who knows how they are in person. I know I'm much different. The writing on forums gives me much more time to collect my thoughts and I appear much more collected when it can take me some time to sort things out sometimes (not always), and the things I say in person sound much more scattered because I can't edit spoken words into being organized. xD


Part of what I like about this forum is that people show their weaknesses, not just the drama surrounding those weaknesses.
I think we have differing experiences again. xP

[Etherealsage]

That's funny- it's exactly why I came here. Someone on the ISFJ mailing list complained about everyone here being so mean, and I wanted to see for myself. I didn't find it mean, but I did find that there's no expectation of tiptoeing around everyone. That's what I get on the internet to escape in my daily life (and what I realized a year or so ago that I needed to stop doing IRL, too).

Heh heh, I only tiptoe in real life because I usually gain something from it. :devil: The usual currency is universal respect and no pointless conflicts, which was my aim, but sometimes I get something more tangible. xP

[Ivy]

Heh heh, I only tiptoe in real life because I usually gain something from it. :devil: The usual currency is universal respect and no pointless conflicts, which was my aim, but sometimes I get something more tangible. xP

The opposite of tiptoeing isn't acting like a jerk or starting conflicts over everything. I used to spend a lot of time worrying about offending people with every word that came out of my mouth, or anything I did. (If I wish X a happy birthday, will it hurt anyone here whose birthday I've missed? Oh dearie me!) I'm still well-respected and I don't get into a lot of conflict, pointless or otherwise. I just think I've found a happy medium.

[camille]

Sounds like you're referring to an extreme egocentricity, lol.

Well, I wouldn't call it extreme, but by reading my blog, you might be able to pinpoint which level I'm on. ;)

[Etherealsage]

The opposite of tiptoeing isn't acting like a jerk or starting conflicts over everything. I used to spend a lot of time worrying about offending people with every word that came out of my mouth, or anything I did. (If I wish X a happy birthday, will it hurt anyone here whose birthday I've missed? Oh dearie me!) I'm still well-respected and I don't get into a lot of conflict, pointless or otherwise. I just think I've found a happy medium.

By tiptoeing, I mean that I keep an eye on everybody's current emotional stability and keeping in mind the line not to cross with each of them based on the conditions. I'm able to watch body language and listen to them to gauge reactions and use that to figure out the next step in what to say (without being deceptive, of course). Basically, walking across a room full of broken glass and thin bubble wrap with a narrow path to walk. I think of it as somewhat of a game (unless it's a friend, then I'm just blunt and unrestricted), so it doesn't really stress me out. It's like a I win or lose scenario with there always being another round to make up for the last (or screw up in, lol).

[camille]

Oops, missed this one.





You and I have had different experiences here. (And I have a different philosophy myself, which is to let myself have them, then let them go after acknowledging whether or not it is irrational to feel this way, once the logical part of me kicks in obviously, which works well enough for me.)

I'm not suggesting you shouldn't have them or experience them. Read some of my posting history and you will find that I am very much in favor of what you are doing.

This might possibly be why I feel different from other INFPs, though. In my younger days, when something really bothered me or made me sad or angry, I felt it was that specific problem...did not immediately recognize that it could be due to a number of different issues and that one thing was a symptom, not the problem.

Now, though, I can recognize when it is something different. If someone sets me off, it is almost never that person or what they said. It's something else going on internally that has me off-kilter. It isn't that I logically think out the current events and what could have me bent out of shape. I just know that something doesn't feel right with myself. Sometimes I experience that mentally, sometimes emotionally, and other times, physically.

Because of this, I rarely take comments personally. I know who I am, and I appreciate that I am constantly changing and re-evaluating my opinions and beliefs. Nothing is set in stone for me so there isn't anything that can be damaged by someone's verbal assault or opinion.

EDIT: This also ties into the 'general no-nos' on an INFP forum....don't talk about NOT feeding all the starving children, make sure we save all the homeless animals, and everybody should be a vegetarian.

Even though I subscribed to some of those ideals in my life, they aren't pressed upon everyone around me. I don't consider people who don't subscribed to those ideals as cruel, heartless, or ignorant of the emotions of others.




I... think that it would be better served if I just showed you a situation from someone who I believe was balanced. Shit happened to her, she bitched, she did something about it. She's also an INFP on INFPgc. http://infp.globalchatter.com/messageboard/viewtopic.php?t=11753 I'm not saying you didn't see what you saw, I'm just showing you that not everyone was, or is, like that. I would very quickly become annoyed if they were.

I'm not suggesting that every INFP is like the ones I described (being that I'm an INFP myself and don't act like that). I have no intentions of posting on a predominantly INFP forum any time in the future. How they acted there then in relation to now really doesn't change my experience in dealing with large groups of INFPs.




I think we have differing experiences again. xP

As we will. :)

[Etherealsage]

Oops, missed this one.



I'm not suggesting you shouldn't have them or experience them. Read some of my posting history and you will find that I am very much in favor of what you are doing.

This might possibly be why I feel different from other INFPs, though. In my younger days, when something really bothered me or made me sad or angry, I felt it was that specific problem...did not immediately recognize that it could be due to a number of different issues and that one thing was a symptom, not the problem.
I get where you're coming from. But sometimes it's like trying to count hyperactive little kids while someone is screaming in your ear. xD The first thing people need to do is calm down and reflect, but they never really learned how to do it.


Now, though, I can recognize when it is something different. If someone sets me off, it is almost never that person or what they said. It's something else going on internally that has me off-kilter. It isn't that I logically think out the current events and what could have me bent out of shape. I just know that something doesn't feel right with myself. Sometimes I experience that mentally, sometimes emotionally, and other times, physically.

Because of this, I rarely take comments personally. I know who I am, and I appreciate that I am constantly changing and re-evaluating my opinions and beliefs. Nothing is set in stone for me so there isn't anything that can be damaged by someone's verbal assault or opinion.
This one I also get, though I'm not really the same way. If they're striking at that that point intentionally though, it's much to the same effect as if it was them though. Like for me, the only time you'll set me off is if one intentionally says something that offends every nuance of what I am to myself. A rare feat, lol.


EDIT: This also ties into the 'general no-nos' on an INFP forum....don't talk about NOT feeding all the starving children, make sure we save all the homeless animals, and everybody should be a vegetarian.

Even though I subscribed to some of those ideals in my life, they aren't pressed upon everyone around me. I don't consider people who don't subscribed to those ideals as cruel, heartless, or ignorant of the emotions of others.
Lol, I gave a really convincing argument on eating meat to them, but that's not the point. I agree, people usually have their own line of reasoning that makes sense to them as to why something should or should not be done. Heh, off topic, I've already used the symptom of a problem rather than a problem itself on them. Pretty sure it'd work on the starving children issue too.


I'm not suggesting that every INFP is like the ones I described (being that I'm an INFP myself and don't act like that). I have no intentions of posting on a predominantly INFP forum any time in the future. How they acted there then in relation to now really doesn't change my experience in dealing with large groups of INFPs.
No, it doesn't. One can't change the past, merely one's perception of it. xP

[walfin]

I never expect people to understand me.

So hard to come to terms with, yet so essential for life to be livable.

[wreckoning]

I made the mistake of asking other female players how they deal with obnoxious drunks at the poker table, on a poker forum. I never post on any forums (I broke the rule for INTPc because it was just so cool).

It's turned into a fullscale riot.

"post pics"
"quit whining"
"just deal, it's life"
"how can you use the term sexual harrassment and disservice all those women who have suffered from REAL sexual harrassment?"
"arrogant"
"Typical stuck up female dog. If you don't like the attention then don't dress for it, GROW UP!"

It's enough to make an NF cry.

Jeeeez. And the illogic, I tell you, the illogic! Enough to make an INTP cry... almost.

[MerieM]

...
Jeeeez. And the illogic, I tell you, the illogic! Enough to make an INTP cry... almost.

I know/lived what you're talking about.

[wreckoning]

I know/lived what you're talking about.

[doomsday voice] This is the last safe haven on the internet ... isn't it.


I was a basketcase as a child and used my own experiences to connect to the topics, much like I do here. Only some took it that I was suggesting my story was worse....a competition. I've noticed that a lot among immature INFPs. As much as they say they are too sensitive and don't like to compete, they are always trying to one up somebody on the hardluck stories and feel as though if someone comes back with a similar story, they are trying to take the attention.

This is a really interesting observation, something I hadn't noticed about INFPs before. It totally applies to my INFP ex-boyfriend. He would say something like I was trying to undercut his story, and so I would apologize for being insensitive. He is after all more sensitive than me, so I just assumed he would know more about these little emotional etiquette stuff than I.

Guess I was wrong. I think I'll call him up tomorrow and take back all the apologies I dished out there.

Kidding.


This also ties into the 'general no-nos' on an INFP forum....don't talk about NOT feeding all the starving children, make sure we save all the homeless animals, and everybody should be a vegetarian.

Yikes. What a drag. The dark, nazi side... of INFP.... you will love the children... loooove the children.... or else...

I have read a bit of one of the infp forums, and while I'd probably never post there, there are some really cool things going on anyway... just some of the more ethics-oriented threads, the simplicity with which ideals can be dished out even in complex moral situations. I have the sense that it is just incredibly easy for INFPs to decide the most agreeable solution to a personal problem.

[MerieM]

[doomsday voice] This is the last safe heaven on the internet ... isn't it.
[...]
[doomsday echo]
Where can I find the one on the earth?

[wreckoning]

Even if I knew where it was, I'd be the last person to ask. Terrible with directions.

[MerieM]

There will be a straight path leading to that heaven..I think.

[rainfall]

I cry uncontrollably after each post I read here.

[Ferrus]

I cry uncontrollably after each post I read here.
Even mine? I never knew anyone cared. I feel... strangely affirmed.

[Limey]

I cry uncontrollably after each post I read here.

It's not your fault.

No, listen to me, it's not your fault.

It's not your fault.

[Toonia]

...But I saw outrage on those INFP forums time and time again when someone suggested a person get a different job, or find somewhere else to live, or tell his mom he doesn't like fruitloops for breakfast.
That actually is rather sad. Seriously. I think Fruitloops guy wins.

[rainfall]

It's not your fault.

No, listen to me, it's not your fault.

It's not your fault.

Don't fuck with me, man. :threat: Don't fuck with me :boohoo:

[Znaniya]

From a newbie perspective, I'm finding the general spikiness somewhat attractive. I've only ever used two other forums regularly in the past, and I used to get slightly paranoid over who was going to SHOOT ME DOWN next. One of them I knew the people in real life, one of them I didn't, but it felt pretty similar.

Here it seems that I can expect to be, or at least be unsurprised by being, told I'm an idiot. I no longer have such fear. Nice. Fire away...

[avolkiteshvara]

Has your time at INTPc corrupted your socialization skills at other forums?


I've gotten so used to the thick skin, critical thought, and objective honesty that we have here, I've had much trouble at other forums; even close to banishment.

I wasn't trying to be an asshole there, just honest.



So....have you been banned being yourself?

[outmywindow]

I've not been banned, no, but I've made almost this exact observation. This place fucks you up, but in a good way.

edit: In fact, I made a thread about this and am going to merge them.

[cripple]

No, this is the only forum I've been attempted banned. But my max nr of posts elsewhere is in the 2-300 range(usually have 6-7 forums open on tabs, where I go back and fourth), so at periods things have gone slightly out of hand at this place. I would even say my social skills have increased. I could never have imagined I'd be able make 2500+ quality posts in just 3 years.

I have had more closed threads elsewhere after being here. But I adjust easily, so not a big deal. Was only a period. Just have to do things more slowly. And I'm generally satisfied with reading and providing the occasional comment to illuminate something I find interesting.

So, still a Virgin.

/not counting my IRC days a long time ago. That's different.

[Shadowlogical]

This place takes pride in its thick skin. Like OOOOoooo!!! We got fresh meat!! :devil:

Is that really necessary? Are we that fearful of religion and emotions people? Other then that blatant and sad hypocrisy, this place rocks.

Everywhere else, the rate of posts are low. The people less witty and intelligent. There are barely any standards. Delusional. Sad. Really dumb people in general. That's my impression. But I do like those occult forums. That's where I found that article of the goat person :D good stuff.

People think I'm fine tho. Yea obviously you will be perceived as arrogant to an emotional person. Imagine that. Use your context skills. Are you people that ignorant? That is uplifting :D

EDIT: Maybe I don't post here enough for the taint to have yet taken hold of me.

[kali]

Um, I used to post regularly on another forum in my early teens. Then I started posting on INTPc, and my posts in x forum generally became arrogant, insensitive, and mostly TL;DR.

My posts on INTPc became inversely proportionate to the number of reps I was getting on x forum.

I don't think it was INTPc that "transformed" me though, it was mostly growing out of my giggly pubescent self.

I was IP banned from www.philosophyforum.com too, under the username "parker pyne". I don't know why. :mellow:

[Hustler]

This place is comparatively tame. What's more, they keep making me a mod at almost every forum I go to.

[Bambi]

i think everybody should be allowed to express their inner self as authentic as they like without political correctness and without worrying to offend someone or become unpopular. even if they're racist or gay-sist or like fucking animals or whatever. And if two peeps dont like each other, then thats that.. A discussion can be more or less "rational". Its not the CONTENT of it, its what the AIM is.. yeah uh

I have been banned before for "trolling" or whatnot. I certainly wasnt spamming or pursueing anyone - I just had a rough edge to my humour, which a lot of peeps dont get, and maybe some unconventional opinions.
and I just !HATE! when sensitivity and stupidity get the favour over intelligence and freedom of speech! Freedom of speech is numero uno on the list *bows* :worthy:
FREEEEEEDOOOOOOOOOM!!!!

:zzz:

[YHWH]

It didn't, I'm in a much harsher / more open-minded small forum related to my country.
You folks should make a little effort.

http://i.imgur.com/zt5eI.gif

[Qlippoth]

I'm a forum monogamist. I jumped here from a philosophy forum that ended up getting too political in subject matter, and I was getting a bit bored of philosophy.

<testimony>
INTPc has actually done more than spoiled me online, it has changed my life irl. I found this forum when I was ready to realize my INTPness in an exceptionally SJ environment, and it has paved my path to actualization. Because of INTPc I have: grown a beard, substituted at least 60&#37; of my 'guilt' with 'I don't give a fuck', and am now at least 15% less stoic.

Who knows what other amazing life changes may result from my membership on this forum.
</testimony>

[Bambi]

It didn't, I'm in a much harsher / more open-minded small forum related to my country.
You folks should make a little effort.

http://i.imgur.com/zt5eI.gif

Hahlo - we get banned - complain to the admins for tearing away our souls!!:devil:
- also why are there no stupidsnobby-blond-dollface smiley??

[fripping]

this is by far the mildest forum i visit, y'all are big weepy internet vaginas in that light. only compared to sensitivity central or whatever does this place look in any way harsh.

[INA]

this is by far the mildest forum i visit, y'all are big weepy internet vaginas in that light. only compared to sensitivity central or whatever does this place look in any way harsh.
+1

[Miss Van Gogh]

To be honest, I spend my days at work sugarcoating what I need to communicate for the xSFxs and xNFxs. So I really do appreciate being able to write how I really feel here - just being honest. And I do enjoy that most of you does the same....

So yeah, it's just a matter of flexing your style for the audience.... if you want to get through to them.

It's great that here, I don't have to.

Keep up the good bluntness!

[qualia]

It's pretty mild. There's no unpleasant squad demanding you be sympathetic to everyone or everything, everyone can spell, no email forwards. Few people joke about rape or racism or post shock photos. It's fairly social here, if you want to directly PM someone here, all the way up to skyping, you can, and at least in those settings, people seem to like one another for the most part.

I mean, it's still the internet, but I think we act a lot less like we're anonymous for the most part.

[starjots]

I find the signal to noise ratio here much better than other places. Even when people are just throwing off a joke, disagreeing or criticizing I detect thought behind the words (as opposed to heaping helpings of emotional baggage or mouthing belief systems). Refreshing and slightly addicting.

[LastRailway]

I don't know, I post on some other forums sporadically and here a lot and I don't think I've ever been closed to get banned (at least not to my knowledge) anywhere.

I think my posts are usually not offensive, but to be frank, I don't see many offensive posts here either and the most offensive posters usually get banned anyway.

The truth is, however, that on other forums people can't tell if I'm joking or no (well actually people irl can't either, sometimes) and sometimes I have to be more careful on what I write, but here I don't care that much (of course the fact I've been posting here for 3 years helps a lot too).