Suicide

[Division56]

Severe depression seems to be a thread than runs among many intps, just an inquisitive poll.

[Division56]

The closet was too short.


I always thought choking would be a horrid way to die.

[paladinoflunaria]

Contemplated Passingly

[Vagabond]

Almost did it.

[HackerX]

I'm one of those that comtemplate it all the time... but not of actually committing it.. just the consequences etc.

I think drowning would be pretty unpleasant as well :P

[Johnny]

I've considered it in my imagination, but never for the purpose of sketching out an action plan for myself.

On the side :nerd: , the French philosopher Sartre considered the ability to commit suicide as evidence free will. "Don't like how things turn out for you? You can always end it. Therefore, suck it up and live!" Very harsh, but he was contemplating things like the captured French Resistance fighters who gave up information to the Nazis under torture and was a hard, unapologetic man.

[HairlessBluetick]

I'ce thought about it pretty seriously at certain times, not too much recently, although its been coming back ... I agree that drowning and hanging are both pretty bad... I've always been kind of interested in building jumping.

[Crazy]

Never thought about it. However, my wife attempted it, a guy i knew in my unit was successful, and when I was in Iraq, there were a few Marines that attempted it, some successfully, some not so successfully.

I'm a big time optomist though. The glass is always half full, unless it is full. No matter what, it can always get better. At the very least, if it is at the worst it can possibly get, it can't get any worse!

It reminds me of a quote from the great Lewis B. "Chesty" Puller.

In the Chosin Reservior, his Regiment of Marines were surrounded by 7 Chinese regiments. When one of his aids points out the dire situation he says

"Great, we've got them right were we want them, now we can shoot in every direction"

[Johnny]

Lewis B. "Chesty" Puller:

In the Chosin Reservior, his Regiment of Marines were surrounded by 7 Chinese regiments. When one of his aids points out the dire situation he says

"Great, we've got them right were we want them, now we can shoot in every direction"

Yes, I agree. Living does have its rewards.

[paladinoflunaria]

the French philosopher Sartre considered the ability to commit suicide as evidence free will.

That's what I always thought about it, too.

[giftedmadness@hotmail.com]

Tried twice. Once not that seriously, the last time was a serious attempt. Mental hospital visits after a suicide attempt are the worst. A week in one of those while your thinking isn't impaired is like jail. (Vs. a week or longer in one because of an extreme psychosis. Those are surprisingly fun.)

[Johnny]

the French philosopher Sartre considered the ability to commit suicide as evidence free will.

That's what I always thought about it, too.

Well, like I said, Sartre isn't about warm, fuzzy philosophy. The implications of "put up or shut up" can be brutal, especially for people who survive terrible experiences that aren't of their making or motive. Personally, I don't like it, even with the sharp corners rubbed down a little with the social component of his philosophy - experiencing shame when one gets caught doing something that was supposed to be hidden from others. Still, he's worth studying.

[Vagabond]

the French philosopher Sartre considered the ability to commit suicide as evidence free will. "Don't like how things turn out for you? You can always end it. Therefore, suck it up and live!"
Very harsh, very true though. People that climb on the building's roofs yelling "I am going to jump" are actually crying out for someone to save them - only they don't realise it. If one really meant to jump, they wouldn't wait for the police/psychologists/TV/etc to gather up - they'd just do it. So, "jump, or shut up and live". One has to face what one really wants - is it really to die, or is it to be helped? It is the best way to save those that will jump out of fear that someone is going to stop them... they will stop themselves. And they will know that dying was not what they wished for in the first place.

[MasterMerk]

Contemplated passingly, when I was 14. At the height of my hormonal rush, go figure.

That's only three years ago, but it seems longer. I never get depressed anymore, I don't think I will for a long time.

[Claverhouse]

the French philosopher Sartre considered the ability to commit suicide as evidence free will. "Don't like how things turn out for you? You can always end it. Therefore, suck it up and live!" Very harsh, but he was contemplating things like the captured French Resistance fighters who gave up information to the Nazis under torture and was a hard, unapologetic man.

Not that his own service in the cause was immense: thought a lot though. :rofl:


From his nestled corner of the Café Flore, where, when not teaching, he could usually be found drinking tea and scribbling furiously, Sartre did next to nothing for the Resistance while watching his writings win acclaim and his plays enjoy throngs of admirers.

He never actively collaborated with the German occupation authorities — Lévy defends him convincingly on that score — but his relatively cushy wartime experience did later draw the ire of writer and Gaullist minister André Malraux. “I was facing the Gestapo,� grumbled Malraux, “while Sartre in Paris had his plays produced with the authorization of the German censors.�

The Absolute Intellectual (http://www.policyreview.org/feb04/anderson.html)

And even there...


As for those who, such as Sartre, claimed that their works were coded calls for resistance, one must be skeptical. This was certainly the case with, say, Louis Aragon’s poetry. But as Jackson notes, the production of Sartre’s Les Mouches, hailed as a resistance text, hardly made a political ripple when it first appeared: “What, then, was the value of a resistance message that was so oblique as to be invisible to all but a few initiates?�

Review of The Dark Years (http://www3.uakron.edu/hfrance/reviews/zaretsky4.html)

Not that I blame him, who'd want to be carted off to a gestapo prison ? Still, both he and Simone ( whom he called Beaver... interesting [ Le castor ] ) had an admirably sceptical view on the more extreme propaganda claims of the allies, against the nazis whom he did loathe.

Here's his sister Ethel; much underrated, as are so many women philosophers solely because of their sex:

Ethel (http://www.michaelkelly.fsnet.co.uk/ethel.htm)


She did much to confuse ontological problems of Existence and Nothingness by asking, 'What about the holes in Swiss cheese?



Claverhouse :ph34r:

[Google Monster]

I think of it but not doing it. But I try to think of everything.

[int]

I've contemplated a gun to the head. I might be nice and lay down some plastic...not that I'd really care after the fact. ;)

[Star Cannon]

Best way to go _might_ be with a few hundred rounds of ammunition, an AK-47, a mall full of "innocent" pedestrians and a suicide shooting spree. Definite way to get attention there. :-P

*shakes head* But I've thought about it and came to the conclusion that I'd be missing out on life if I did. AFter all... nothing lasts forever.

[shaytana]

Herion overdose for me.

[Miss Padfoot]

I've contemplated it seriously, but eventually I decided that if there was a God and I committed suicide, I'd be damned (literally). I didn't want to take the chance. Of course, I didn't believe in God at the time. But I couldn't be sure.

If I were to do it, though, it wouldn't involve suffocation. No choking, no drowning. And probably no slit wrists, just a gun.

[Spartan26]

Gun to the head. I might be nice and lay down some plastic...not that I'd really care after the fact. ;)

Depending on the gage, you might want to consider standing under a plastic tarp as well. A good friend of mine shot himself with a shotgun to the head. You just wouldn't believe distance, direction and quantity that stuff flies.
{Not of course suggesting...} :hello:

I put "considered passingly" although I may've put seriously. Having a great desire to do it, thought of a couple of means, but not to the point of 'OK, I walk down to the ocean at high tide..."

I think the biggest deterent for me was thinking, "in the end, then the bastards would've won." So I wouldn't want to give "them" the satisfaction. There are a lot of little things to make one hopeful in life. I gues it's in intp's nature to feel overwhelmed by things, prevailing sense of doom, when we can't figure stuff out or when we mistakingly think we've got the future all down pat.

I know years ago there were a lot of days I wished I had never been born. Don't know how much you guys have talked about this in other threads, but I heard someone say people who commit suicide are very angry. At first I didn't believe this but in the midst of being easy going I think it's easy to surpress anger.

Like knowing how upset people get when their order gets screwed up at a restaurant, which is just not me. At a picnic, someone might say "we ran out of Swiss cheese, so we gave you Monterey Jack." While I couldn't think of a case where that would ever mean too much to me, as I've gotten more into self evaluation or personal inventory, what have you, I realize that the type of cheese may not make a difference but for people to continually assume I won't mind and not give me my preverence, does build up.

I think I'd hate choking or drowning or suffocating the most. Anything where I'd be gasping for air. :o

I remember seeing a movie when I was young with Susan Dey (Partridge Family & LA Law) in it. It was on TV late one night and I just got the tail end and to this day have no idea what the name of it is, though I suppose I could look it up. Anyway, I remember she had on a suede coat, knee high go-go boots, she trudged out through the snow and over some rocks, sat down on a log, doused herself w/gasoline and set herself on fire. :huh: :huh: I have no idea what lead up to that, but that, my firends, is the way I want to go! :cheers: I don't think I need the leather boots or silk dress per se, but self immolation is the special effects equivalent of falling on your sword. I just need an honorable cause, like that Korean boxer who sat in the ring for 12 hours after they had shut out the lights and went home when he lost the gold medal in his home town. Lose a game of Madden, have my PS2 controller in one hand, bic lighter in the other and then...WHOOSH! :devil:

[Claverhouse]

Er, don't you think that would hurt a bit ?



Claverhouse :ph34r:

[jimkopelli]

Wasn't that a protest gimmick? Self-immolation? Something about Hare Khrisna... go and sit on a street corner and do that...

[Claverhouse]

Well, it just shows that watching too much TV can damage your health.

I've never heard of Hari Khrishnas hurting themselves or anyone else, except for shaving their heads; but a buddhist monk set fire to himself to protest the Vietnam war, and others, not buddhist, have protested against wars in the same way.

Personally, I think burning is unspeakable: not only the pain, but the injuries to the body. The later mediaeval church burnt for heresy, 'since it didn't shed blood as forbidden by scripture', and other regimes used it for other offences, like forgery or witchcraft, and you can't think of anything more disgusting. And having seen, for a few brief moments since I shut my eyes immediately, photos of the victims of the Allied fire-storms/Hiroshima in WWII, I'd advise thinking of the people who discover the body after.



Claverhouse :ph34r:

[Division56]

The germans lowered people extremely slowly into a large vat of boiling oil in the middle ages instead of using a burning pyre. They said the person could feel their flesh frying for a good period of time.

[Claverhouse]

I never said it was the worst, although you can reach a fearful pain through any number of ways. I've never heard of boiling oil save in China, and would feel a certain dubity as to it actually having happened anywhere. The ghastly Henry VIII, or his courts, sentenced a poisoner to be boiled in water however. He was a cook, and that was their idea of irony.

Of course suicide is a good option beforehand in those types of situations.



Claverhouse :ph34r:

[Melody]

The germans lowered people extremely slowly into a large vat of boiling oil in the middle ages instead of using a burning pyre. They said the person could feel their flesh frying for a good period of time.
:rofl:

[jimkopelli]

Crispy! Fried to a nice... golden... black.

[HairlessBluetick]

Crispy! Fried to a nice... golden... black.

:rofl:

[Spartan26]

You really need a good accelerant. I want to be in shock and out of pain as quickly as possible. I thnk I'd need a real high octane like jet fuel that'll start burning me the moment I splash it on. If it's going to be like me falling into the bbq pit at Chilli's, I want no part of it. More like a plutonium bath where the only reason I stand up or move around is involuntary muscle contraction. I'd say hot enough to where dental records would do no good but that's not really feasible but hot enough to where I'm so charred no one'd ever think to look for teeth amongst the ash.

Self-immolation was used as a sign of protest. Not sure first incidents. Maybe Lot's wife and immenient domain exercised against the Sodom City limits?


If there's a fire in a hospital, do they evacuate the burn unit first or last? - Arthur Montmorency

[Melody]

This has given me a great idea. Protest something stupid and then light yourself on fire. For example, you work for Burger King and one of your coworkers is threatening to leave. Your manager likes them so much that they are offered a raise just so they won't leave! You can write a suicide note like


The tenacity of these humans to offer a raise to keep an employee -- I am disgusted. There can be no other way. How else can I show my disgust?

Albert Einstein once said "I don't know what weapons World War Three will be fought with, but World War four will be fought with sticks and stones."

I can only hope my death brings this pay raising to light.
Then you stand in front of the Burger King and put the suicide note a good distance from yourself, douse yourself with gasoline, run inside to catch a flame and ignite, then run back outside to finish off your painful death. If there are no flames inside (maybe they just have heating elements, but no flames,) turn on your car, open its hood, and mess around with the alternator.

[Edmond Zedo]

Life is painful enough without burning slowly to death. My god, man.

[file cabinet]

I have always believed I would commit suicide one day.

[jimkopelli]

I would want to freak everyone out... so I'd try to completely not leave a body, or any clue as to where a body might be. It would be hard, but worth it if there was some way of watching afterwards... unlikely, but funny.

[SheepDog]

I've looked over the rail of the bridge, but that was a long time ago. In a very real way, letting myself be who I am has been key to my survival.

[Sackanaka]

Though I don't quite think about it in the same way, a few years back I 'concluded' that committing suicide was cheating- like pressing RESET on the nintendo when you don't want to lose anymore.
I think it's been said, but I believe in the (illogical?) statement, "You're gonna die someday anyway; might as well live."

[int]

There's something keeping me here. I don't know what it is...but for some reason there is an innate, natural instinct for humans to live (if we're healthy).

So I've given up on the battle.

The self conflict and mental arguements doesn't seem worth it anymore.

It's a route I never wish to go down again, but I walk it at times nonetheless. The fight has disappeared, replaced by observation - so now I try to explain it to myself and leave it at that.

I can't bring myself to purchase a firearm. I wish I knew why.

[Aryan]

Well there were times when i would get engaged in a very uncomfortable situation with my parents
Those times are of silent anger.
Thoughts of suicide came and went away many times, not because i am angry but because i'll try that out to attack the one who offended or acted harshly against me.
Attack by withdrawal, if i should call it.

Anyways , i think i want to be immune to everything not even death or pain can move me. After i developed this ideoloy life seems without any anxiety of achievement.
Although these suicidal thoughts havent come recently, i think still now that if i am to die, i'll die in my own hands. Anyways, but that comes later, i think i dont want to shorten my life in anyway because i need more time to THINK. :)

[SheepDog]

I think it's been said, but I believe in the (illogical?) statement, "You're gonna die someday anyway; might as well live."
A version of this sentiment was also key for me. If you're willing to give up everything (i.e. your life), then why not give up all the things that are causing you all this pain? This led me to let go of some of the judgements internalized, but weren't really true to who I really am.

BTW, it may be a paradox, but paradoxes are supposed to make you think, regardless of logic. ;)

[mgb]

I think if I was truly going to commit suicide I would just disappear to a deserted island. Usually, it is the social implications that lead people to suicide. And on the island it is do or die. At least you give yourself a fighting chance.

[SheepDog]

I think if I was truly going to commit suicide I would just disappear to a deserted island. Usually, it is the social implications that lead people to suicide. And on the island it is do or die. At least you give yourself a fighting chance.
Exactly

The island can be metaphorical.

[Sackanaka]

BTW, it may be a paradox, but paradoxes are supposed to make you think, regardless of logic. ;)
Thanks, but how do you get the S's to accept that without having them just end with "whoa, that's deep :shock: "
;P

[SheepDog]

Thanks, but how do you get the S's to accept that without having them just end with "whoa, that's deep :shock: "
;P
You really can't teach a pig to sing, either. :D

[SensEye]

Exactly

The island can be metaphorical.I feel the same way. I always thought if I was really contemplating suicide I would move to the some all black ghetto. I think it would be hilarious, some dumb ass Canuck white guy moving into 'the hood'. Might end up dead anyways, but what the heck...

[jimkopelli]

I feel the same way. I always thought if I was really contemplating suicide I would move to the some all black ghetto. I think it would be hilarious, some dumb ass Canuck white guy moving into 'the hood'. Might end up dead anyways, but what the heck...
The neighborhood watch wouldn't let you move in unless you sold some kind of drugs or weapons or something.

[Dman]

Haven't seen any mention of the good old carbon monoxide treatment. Grab a hose, put it in your exhaust pipe, put the other end in the window, put on some good tunes in your car stereo, sit back and drift away to eternal sleep.

I couldn't do it. I'm with the drastically change your life crowd. There's just too much damn stuff to learn about out there! I need to know everything!

Speaking of paradoxes, how can suicide be evidence of free will? What if fate intended for you to kill yourself?

[Strephonade]

Fate can't have any intent, as it doesn't have a consciousness.

[Division56]

The neighborhood watch wouldn't let you move in unless you sold some kind of drugs or weapons or something.


We can help him out there. If there something you want, be it crack, an electron microscope or a missle launcher, it's virtually guaranteed someone on intp can get it for you.

We're a connected bunch.

[Sam172]

We can help him out there. If there something you want, be it crack, an electron microscope or a missle launcher, it's virtually guaranteed someone on intp can get it for you.

We're a connected bunch.
*ahem* ¬_¬

I've contemplated it passingly, thought that I would miss a lot though and it would kinda destroy some people I know. I would miss water the most...

[Psycherry]

[quote] i think i dont want to shorten my life in any way because i need more time to THINK \[quote]

I believe I have found more material to help me talk myself out of it.

It was in September this year. I had been diagnosed with mild depression and was put on Prozac. Didn't help me much.

I tried slitting my wrists with a blunt knife and it was actually getting painful after a while. I remember pleading. To what or who? Maybe God. Maybe some part of me that still had hope. I had been crying solid for an hour, and then, I just stopped.

We all have different opinions being voiced in our heads all the time, I think? So this one part of me took control and said no. Calm down. You will get through this. I was at university on the other side of the country, and I was quitting my studies and leaving for home the following day. So why this? Why was I still anxious and panicked?

It was a powerful thing that happened that day. And so I still cry. It sort of my way to tap into another level of thinking. Sometimes the results are disasterous... because the people around me who get really worried, and try to snap me out of it, because they don't understand.

We do the best we can with what we know. I don't know enough of anything to make better decisions, yet.

I had two sharp knives in my residence room at my disposal. I was alone for the entire day if I did not go to lectures. The only thought stopping me from turning into a bloody mass on the floor in that room was not no one would find me until the body began to rot. Ewww.

So what do I do? Try a blunt knife in my then boyfriend's room, knowing he would be back in half an hour.

Boy, was I screwed up.

[Avengardh]

Did think about it, almost did it, couldn't do it.

Life goes on.

[Boneca]

I have always been sure that I will never commit suicide.
There are several reasons. The most important is probably a sense of duty to my parents. I'm their only child and they spent a lot of time and effort on raising me to be an independent person. If I commit suicide it's not only my failure, but theirs too.
But I'm also with SheepDog in thinking that if you are ready to give up everything, there shouldn't be anything troubling you anymore.

And there is something else as well that I can't really define. It's like suicide would be too easy. I'm stronger than that, or at least my survival instinct is stronger, or something.

[Dman]

Fate can't have any intent, as it doesn't have a consciousness.

Ok, what if God (or some "higher power") intended for you to commit suicide = no free will

[mgb]

Ok, what if God (or some "higher power") intended for you to commit suicide = no free will

Why would God intend you to commit suicide. Seems like that would be contrary to his divine plan. Otherwise we would all be committing suicide. Too much Logan's Run.

[Boneca]

Why would God intend you to commit suicide. Seems like that would be contrary to his divine plan. Otherwise we would all be committing suicide. Too much Logan's Run.Isn't that what doomsday sects are all about? God tells you all have to commit suicide on <insert date>, because the world is going to hell?

[Tranzors]

I just find suicide illogical, and I also love life.

edit:

next time you think about it, remember, the world is messed up as it is, the more NTs, the better!

[Zero Angel]

Never seriously thought about it except for one time I tried because I was having a *really* shitty month, but I chose a cord that was too weak to support my weight (145lbs.), I knew that I was taking a gamble and whatever happens would happen. It snapped and I didnt try again after that. Thankfully I started to have a different personality like that and I wouldnt have possibly able to forgive myself If I killed myself (cuz then i'd be dead ;P ). Wouldnt try such a dumb thing ever again.

[Edmond Zedo]

Isn't that what doomsday sects are all about? God tells you all have to commit suicide on <insert date>, because the world is going to hell?

Doomsday sects can really relieve some of that EOTW anxiety.

[notnac]

I have always believed I would commit suicide one day.

We have too many gifts that need to be used, either for ourselves or others. Besides, when the time comes, I kind of think we all have that choice to let go anyway.

[Nindy]

Never seriously thought about it except for one time I tried because I was having a *really* shitty month, but I chose a cord that was too weak to support my weight (145lbs.), I knew that I was taking a gamble and whatever happens would happen. It snapped and I didnt try again after that. Thankfully I started to have a different personality like that and I wouldnt have possibly able to forgive myself If I killed myself (cuz then i'd be dead ;P ). Wouldnt try such a dumb thing ever again.
So, you didn't get into the hospital with your attempt?
Personally, I don't see anything as a true attempt unless you end up in a hospital, but that's probably not what's meant here then.
Not that it really matters, but okay.:blink:

[Division56]

I love how they say "I never thought about it except for the time I did"...

[Zero Angel]

Mfff, whatever. Guess i'm not 'cool' enough to hang with y'all.

*remembers not to share self*

[Boneca]

Mfff, whatever. Guess i'm not 'cool' enough to hang with y'all.

*remembers not to share self*Since when is it cool to commit suicide? Pfft. If you're an INTP, you are too cool to die.

[Zero Angel]

Oh yeah, thats right :lol:

No wait, I am an INTJ. We are way too cool for you mere INTPs! ;P

"You are too cool to die!" I like that saying for some unknown reason and will keep it in my memory for my own amusement at random, unexpected moments.

[Sam172]

Mfff, whatever. Guess i'm not 'cool' enough to hang with y'all.

*remembers not to share self*
is that some sort of twisted joke :p

[Dman]

Why would God intend you to commit suicide. Seems like that would be contrary to his divine plan. Otherwise we would all be committing suicide. Too much Logan's Run.

Who knows; maybe God decided that you are a dirtbag, so you should off yourself? Why would God intend for babies to be murdered? Or people tortured? Nevermind; let's not go down that path. BTW - what IS the divine plan?

[ApeTheDog]

Yeah, and knowing that everybody else considers it from time to time helps me a lot. I never considered doing it, but I've tossed the option around inside my head. I don't know what always pulls me out of the gloomy state, but something always does.

Maybe that is the ultimate trick. Maybe the will to live can't be summoned, it has to be received. The gift of life.

[PsiKik]

I read somewhere recently about a spate of internet meet up suicides in Japan,
people where meeting in chat rooms and then in reality to kill themeselves.
Apparantly there is now a Japanese word for someone who just spends all their time alone in their room on the internet.
Also, I find it interresting that in Japanese culture there is no specific taboo on suicide.
while in western culture there is. I wonder why the western churches felt the need to instill this taboo - I don't believe it was out of wanting to help people, but more probably part of their ongoing mind control campaign.

[ApeTheDog]

They probably wanted to stop anyone killing themselves and accidentially resurrecting 3 days later, thereby taking away some of Jesus's glory.

No, it's probably because Japanese culture has harakiri.

[gypseymothlee]

I considered it for about three years, I'm not sure how serious I was, since I never attempted. I think I eventually went with the put up or shut up attitude. I'm pretty sure now that I'm meant to die via spontaneous combustion anyway.

[lexiphanic]

Considered it, but I always new that I was far from bad enough to for the bad to outweight the good. Besides, thinking about the direction my thoughts were taking was too interesting for me on a much deeper level.

Maybe that is where I retreated. To my thinking about my thoughts since my thoughts had been unpleasant so consistently.

[melancholeric]

Considered quite a few times in the past. "Coincidentally" haven't been even mildly depressed since I moved away from my parents, that was >4 years ago.

[lauriep]

I've tried twice - knife to the wrists at 16 and overdosing on pills at 18. Both were directly or indirectly due to my parents and that I felt that I couldn't escape them. Suicide seemed like the only way out.
Never was hospitalized for either - at 16 I didn't cut deep enough so I just cleaned up the blood and wore long sleeves for a while so no one would notice. At 18, I took about 40 advil. I woke up the next day after sleeping for about 18 hours. Wasn't dead so I figured I just go to class. Initially I felt like more of a failure because I couldn't even succeed in suicide. My parents never knew about either attempt and they ended up disowning me about 6 months after the second try. It was difficult but in long run it was the escape that I longed for and it solved a lot of problems. I've thought about suicide sometimes when I get depressed but never seriously considered it since.

[Sackanaka]

Well, even if it sounds superficial, I'm glad that you're [all] alive, typing and hopefully well. I suppose it's a bit unnecessary to point out, since those who succeeded wouldn't be active on the forum. I just had a rather sad thought though: what if there were some members on this forum who actually do plan on and complete their suicide? :(
I know it's a kinda far cry, but maybe there could/ought to be some kind of private.. forum... err. Something like a fellow-INTP crises hotline?
Oh yea I guess that's what this whole forum + PM'ing is about huh :p. anyway,
try not to kill yourselves; it'll be sure to make a lot of us ;_;

[lauriep]

I would hope that if there is anyone on the forum that actually was seriously considering suicide, knowing that there are other people out there that have felt that way and came through it would be a comforting thought. Just my opinion, but I think that a lot of people who are serious about suicide feel that they are utterly alone. Knowing that someone out there can understand or has been on the brink themselves would be a deterrent.

[Biff_Loman]

Oh, I very much want to kill myself.

Just not now. ;)

Seriously though: the thought of dying of natural causes, just like any other organism, bothers me. Life makes all the great decisions for us: to live, for starters, but also when and where we are born, etc. Why not take at least one of those back, and chose the time and circumstances of your death?

Of course, the tough part is deciding when it's time to die. I strongly desire to live as much life as possible, so it is likely that I won't have the means to kill myself when the time comes. Merely having the physical and mental capacity to carry out a suicide attempt implies that there is still more life out there for me, and I hate the thought of missing out!

I suppose that, as I age, I might set an arbitrary sign-post - some oncoming infirmity or loss of ability, or the loss of a spouse - that will indicate the time has come. At that point, I need to haul my aged self up to some great height, because I want to die by falling. Hopefully I won't need help.

I've always been afraid of heights, so I think that's the perfect way to die. It would be a wicked final act, in my opinion.

[Zero Angel]

Re: suicide, I think its stupid. Not something done by stupid people necessarily, but something done without rational thought (because rationality has been discarded when emotions take control).

There are a lot of reasons for people to stay alive even when they want to die. Family is one reason, not everyone comes from a good family, but for those that do, they always have the love and understanding of their family members; not only would death sadden them, but it would weaken them and perhaps make them feel guilty for the rest of their lives (depending on whether or not the family really loves you).

There is also that a suicide is a needlessly abrupt end of a life, perhaps at a point where a person felt low in life they decided to take it, but even then, is that how you want to be remembered? Or do you want to be remembered for the good qualities you possess when your life is taken naturally? Every day is a struggle, but every day is also an opportunity for change and growth, even when you stand to lose everything; you still remain.

Another reason why one would want to die is because of loneliness. Nobody wants to be lonely, and even when it happens just know that there are many, many, people like you. All you have to do is find them.

[Nindy]

Hi Zero Angel, I hope your not implying that everyone thinking of suicide or contemplating it feels sorry for themselves? I for an instance, have never experienced self-pity, only self-loathing.

[Zero Angel]

Definitely not implying that Nindy. I used to hate myself, I was weak and afraid of pain in a lot of ways. I've done some terrible evils (and I mean really bad ones) that I am just now beginning to forgive myself and atone for. I figure that I can continue to hate myself or I can face my suffering head on and stop hating myself. Perhaps this moment of clarity i'm in is temporary and I will go back to being a self-centered person, who knows? But at least right now, I dont have to carry the weight of self-hatred on my shoulders.

I'd like to thank Clara and Pierce for their inspiration and insight they have provided to me through our private message conversations.

[Star Cannon]

I remember back in middle school I thought about suicide. A lot. I still do, but when ever I imagine or even think about taking a razor and dragging it across me skin --- ewwwwww.... no.*shudder* I get chills just thinking about it.

Suicide is not an option. At least not for me. I prefer healthy contemplation and reminding myself that time goes on and so does life and a get a good night's sleep.

Star Cannon

[s]

Meh... I doubt I would ever commit suicide without taking out a large number of people. Dying at my own hand and in an understated way at that is so not me. I have felt hopeless before, but I am too vain to kill myself.

[Edmond Zedo]

Meh... I doubt I would ever commit suicide without taking out a large number of people. Dying at my own hand and in an understated way at that is so not me. I have felt hopeless before, but I am too vain to kill myself.
Hmm, yeah, me too. Wanna play "Wisdom?"

[Miss Anthropic]

Ok, what if God (or some "higher power") intended for you to commit suicide = no free will
Then you don't commit suicide...free will

[s]

"Wisdom?"

[Edmond Zedo]

"Wisdom?"
Emelio Estevez movie from like '87. He and his girl go on a crime spree, and he commits suicide by cop. Sorry to ruin the ending for you, but I don't know if you could find it if you tried.

[howiec]

I would have done the wrist-slitting bit, but because of what was going on at the time I was relatively certain that someone might find me and stop me from dying. So, I took twenty-something prescription pain-killers I had stolen. I went to school basically right after I took them. I just figured I would drop dead in the hallways or something. I thought that by the time anything incredibly obvious happened, like me passing out, it would be too late for it to be stopped.

It turns out that the pills weren't as strong as I thought they were, though, and I didn't keel over during school. I blacked out several times and kept running into things and came close to falling down the stairs, but that wasn't too unusual. I'd intended to go home and make sure it took, but things happened, and I didn't. I've thought about it since then (that was last February). Actually, there have been times where I've wanted it more than anything else, but I got over that.

[Dman]

Then you don't commit suicide...free will

The paradox is that you cannot prove if god or a higher power wanted you to commit suicide or not. If you did commit it, one could say it was part of god's plan. If you didn't, one could say it was part of god's plan. Since none of us know our ultimate fate, we can't say if it is free will or not. Just by taking your fate into your own hands, i.e. suicide, does not mean it wasn't supposed to originally be that way. You know?

[nobarcode]

Sometimes I consider the suicide option a rather good start for the day. That way, when I become homicidal, I know my day has improved.

[Shai Gar]

i put down that i have never thought about it. because i have never wanted to do it. but i have often thought about it as a few of the people i know have offed themselves and now i hate them because of it


bastards

[Nindy]

i put down that i have never thought about it. because i have never wanted to do it. but i have often thought about it as a few of the people i know have offed themselves and now i hate them because of it


bastards
How shallow of you.

[garak]

Contemplated passingly, when I was 14. At the height of my hormonal rush, go figure.

That's only three years ago, but it seems longer. I never get depressed anymore, I don't think I will for a long time.
Pretty much the same here. Adolescence was a big confused emotional mess for me, but now I'm pretty relaxed.

[teknika]

Pretty much the same here. Adolescence was a big confused emotional mess for me, but now I'm pretty relaxed.

...and I'm still in "there"...at least now I know that there is more of a reason why I somewhat thought about it...(I go under "Contemplated passingly"), from what everyone said it seems that as you get older it mostly goes away...I guess that's encouraging...

[garak]

...and I'm still in "there"...at least now I know that there is more of a reason why I somewhat thought about it...(I go under "Contemplated passingly"), from what everyone said it seems that as you get older it mostly goes away...I guess that's encouraging...
I was somewhat seriously considering it at certain points, but now I can't see myself ever seriously thinking about it. I think I was just really frustrated that I was so controlled by adults, yet I was starting to desire independence. The fact that they totally didn't understand me made it even worse. But once I was able to start making my own decisions, all of that crap faded away.

[QrioCT]

yeah, thought about it passingly. but i don't think its right, cuz u put other people to pain just to end your own.

i think people own their lives, but people's lives are like tons of round marbles sitting next to each other. if you move one, you also move the ones next to them.

and the definition of "own" is that its something only to be modified by themselves in the way *they* want and nobody can touch it without permission. so if you're moving other people's "marbles" in a way they dont want when you move your own, its not good. so i dont think its a good idea to kill yourself because even though you have the freedom to do whatever you want with your own life, you don't have the right to hurt other people's.

[Shai Gar]

How shallow of you.
get bent. one girl was in my tute class and she had been hitting on me all year, unfortunately for her i had just found the dragonlance series, belgariad/mallorean, raymond e feist books so that year i was pretty much out of it. and then my dad got transferred to another town so i went with him, two months later she topped herself. now she probably had more problems in her life than a guy who didnt notice her advances as she wasnt the most popular girl in her grade (a year younger) but damn talk about trying to make me feel guilt. and that is why i hate her, because now i cant even have sex with her as she is dead.

so shallow my arse, she is the one who made the rest of us feel pain because she felt she wasnt loved. i know her parents loved her as did a guy in the grade lower than her she wouldnt even talk to who was interested (friends brother). she is the one who was selfish and shallow

[Nindy]

get bent. one girl was in my tute class and she had been hitting on me all year, unfortunately for her i had just found the dragonlance series, belgariad/mallorean, raymond e feist books so that year i was pretty much out of it. and then my dad got transferred to another town so i went with him, two months later she topped herself. now she probably had more problems in her life than a guy who didnt notice her advances as she wasnt the most popular girl in her grade (a year younger) but damn talk about trying to make me feel guilt. and that is why i hate her, because now i cant even have sex with her as she is dead.

so shallow my arse, she is the one who made the rest of us feel pain because she felt she wasnt loved. i know her parents loved her as did a guy in the grade lower than her she wouldnt even talk to who was interested (friends brother). she is the one who was selfish and shallow
I have yet to meet someone suicidal and shallow at the same time. The reasons for committing suicide run pretty deep. As she believed no one loved her, as she couldn't feel it, suicide must've been the only escape for her to end her pain and she probably thought that nobody would suffer because of her demise. She wasn't trying to make anyone feel guilty. Hate is just another escape for not being confronted with what's underneath it. Since you simply descend into hating her and haven't really thought through the possibilities as for why she decided to end it all, I find you shallow.

[Seraph]

I think about EVERYTHING, so of course I've contemplated suicide passingly (hell, I've contemplated how best to murder someone, the form of capital punishment I would choose if I were sentenced to death, and other morbid topics). I've always thought that if things got THAT bad, I would do something crazy like run away and fly a small plane straight into the Bermuda Triangle, waiting to get sucked into another dimension or something (assuming that's real). There's also becoming a contract assassin, which I imagine an INTP, with their creativity and ability to plot things out to a "T," could pull off quite well.

[Last Song]

I think about EVERYTHING, so of course I've contemplated suicide passingly (hell, I've contemplated how best to murder someone, the form of capital punishment I would choose if I were sentenced to death, and other morbid topics). I've always thought that if things got THAT bad, I would do something crazy like run away and fly a small plane straight into the Bermuda Triangle, waiting to get sucked into another dimension or something (assuming that's real). There's also becoming a contract assassin, which I imagine an INTP, with their creativity and ability to plot things out to a "T," could pull off quite well.

I hope I've never said anything to offend or upset you. *fidgets with thumbs nervously and starts thinking about what necesseties to pack first* =/

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ...

Ok I've contemplated passingly. I consider my existence worthless, but it's not something I feel I would seriously do anything about.

[coffeezombie]

get bent. one girl was in my tute class and she had been hitting on me all year, unfortunately for her i had just found the dragonlance series, belgariad/mallorean, raymond e feist books so that year i was pretty much out of it.


LOL You chose reading fantasy books over a possible relationship. How INTP is that? :cool:

[Shai Gar]

I've contemplated how best to murder someone i do this one all the time, whenever i see a person i wonder what is the quickest way of killing them without getting hurt


There's also becoming a contract assassin, which I imagine an INTP, with their creativity and ability to plot things out to a "T," could pull off quite well. actually this one i think about all the damn time. if only i knew the right people who i wouldnt kill out of personal values (i dont like the mafia they are xenophobic. and i would cheerfully kill anyone who is 3rd/4th generation australian never seen italy, has aussie citizenship and yet calls themselves italian)

and yeah INTP's would make the best assassins, naturally private, great imaginations, usually brilliant minds

[Helios]

I am such a pussy I looked at the poll before I had the guts to admit it, but yeah, got real close this Oct, I carried a buck with me for the brigde toll...............(only meaningfull cause I am a AMEX guy otherwise, no cash on me ever). But I decided that I would go on, in the end it was an emotional choice since I couldn't defend it logically, but regardless I validated it, and put a "closed issue" on it, it has worked for now anyway. Yeah yeah I should go back to my shrink.......whatever I am taking Psyc in school isn't that enough? LOL

[earwax]

Sure, I've thought about it before. Just battled a spell of depression a couple of days ago. (Still feel somewhat drained by it.) It is a cycle I've gone through all my life. Never gone so far as to actually do anything about it.. it has always passed. And it comes less often that it used to.

[indie]

Poll Options
What's the closest you've ever come to suicide?
*Attempted and failed
*Contemplated seriously
*Contemplated passingly
*Never even thought about it


Where's the "Attempted and succeeded" option?

[Sackanaka]

The forum doesn't need an antitroll button as there are several capable hounds on duty, or so I think.

[indie]

Sorry, Sackana. I'm in a weird mood this morning . . . maybe I should start drinking less coffee. :wacko:

[Sackanaka]

apparently this is the iconic beverage of choice: :cheers:
:P im just playin
(though probably not the best thread to play in.. :/)

[misutii]

recurringly thought about it for a while... then decided i'd atleast attempt to enjoy my youth superficially and then when old, ugly and disillusioned purchase an opium den in cambodia and make it the best experience in my life... something to look forward to atleast.

[INTerloPer]

i tried to kill myself the summer before i started high-school (which really should say something about the way Hollywood portrays high-school) due to a lot of insecurity about my sexual identity (i'm gay). i think attempting suicide is almost a rite of passage for many great thinkers, because it shows that one is bright enough to see how fucked things really are. i've come to realise, however, that suicide is not constructive. i mean, at least if ur gonna go, take someone who deserves to die with you. if i were to ever try it again, i would probably try to assassinate the pope in an effort to encourage discussion on his hate-spreading policies. i mean, according to him God loves everyone. except jews and gays and women and liberals and divorcees and.....

[Arioch]

Where's the "Attempted and succeeded" option?

If we had that then all the people who believed in reincarnation would press it (as surely in one of their lives they must have commit suicide). But since the purpose of the test is this age the option was let out.

[INTerloPer]

When I tried to kill myself, my best friend Wren was completely shocked and distraught. Being the creative little ESNP that she is, she wrote the following...

Today

Today a divine power led me to the end of the world. I sat on the edge of the last ocean and gazed over the still waters. I rested there awhile, and in the heated afternoon, placed my tired feet into the cool treasure.

As I sat there the waters beckoned me to them. I glimpsed the visions that the water did then present to me. My life; I saw sorrow, all my sorrow, the burden of which I thought my bidding to that place to be the child of. But it was and wasn’t.

I was faced with a choice. Do I slip into the water? It beckons me to it, yet I know the moment I enter that water, I will feel more sorrow than I have ever experienced. I will never again see the sun rise from the clouds or catch a falling star. And what made me see that I would miss these things? A Face, not mine. Then the face was gone, like it was never there, and again I was left next to this pool of temptation. No one to tell me not to jump in, not to let it all go.

But that day I pulled away from those waters. I pulled up my feet and ran away from that place of temptation. That day, I left the pool of death.

[J.L. des Alpins]

…the French philosopher Sartre considered the ability to commit suicide as evidence free will. "Don't like how things turn out for you? You can always end it. Therefore, suck it up and live!Sartre is once again being misunderstood.

At no time did Sartre make this preposterous proposition. It is free will that reveals the possibility of suicide, not the reverse. There are many ways for living matter to self terminate, such as apoptosis and necrosis, without the implication of free will.

Furthermore, the assertion that the ending of one’s own life may be an acceptable option of existentialism is purely frivolous. "Suicide, as a resolution of the absurd, would be… a denial of the very condition of man’s existence," said Camus. Sartre qualified the manifestation of one’s free will by its obliteration as the absolute expression of "bad faith".


Well, like I said, Sartre isn't about warm, fuzzy philosophy. The implications of "put up or shut up" can be brutal, especially for people who survive terrible experiences that aren't of their making or motive. There is nothing in Sartre’s existentialism that suggests, "put up or shut up".

In fact, Husserl’s phenomenology—which is central to Sartre’s thoughts—is that one’s consciousness has no means whatsoever to dictate its way to someone else’s consciousness: One’s subjectivity is absolute. As Levinas pointed out, "If one could possess, grasp, and know the other, it would not be other."

Therefore, no matter how terrible are one’s experiences, no matter whether they are one’s own making or not, one remains unconditionally free to choose what to make of those experiences.

Sartre’s philosophy is a humanism. The existential approach broadens one’s possibilities by creating a mental framework from which one can reevaluate his beliefs, assumptions, and self-imposed restrictions. Applied to a suicidal mind, one can, at the very least, come to realize that there is always the option to say, "Today, the hell with my problems. I can wait ‘til tomorrow to pull the trigger."

[Bugeater]

I've seriously thought about committing suicide, but my mom made me promise not to, in an indirect way. I was telling her one night about how I didn't want to live to be her age and she got upset and told me she didn't want to outlive any of her children. My mom is one of the few people whose feelings I actually care about, so I sort of promised myself not to do anything that would end up hurting her.

[ppc]

I have thought about it but never took it seriously just one of my thoughts of which I have had many weird/odd ones.

As far as people "trying to commit suicide" - People who want to try do and people who want to die - do.

[Shai Gar]

life is one of our greatest gifts, our greatest gift is sentience. that you are even thinking about giving it up means that you want to throw this gift back at whatever gave it to you, or your ancestors for evolving to get it.

just for that i hope you dont stop at slitting your wrists (down the road not accross the street), but i hope you cut your head off with such force that your head lands on a revolving record player and your body sits down of its own accord into a comfortable chair.

and any girl who loves you is the first to come across your worthless corpse.

[Claverhouse]

PLACE-HOLDER FOR CLASSIC STATUS

[b37]

I would hope that if there is anyone on the forum that actually was seriously considering suicide, knowing that there are other people out there that have felt that way and came through it would be a comforting thought. Just my opinion, but I think that a lot of people who are serious about suicide feel that they are utterly alone. Knowing that someone out there can understand or has been on the brink themselves would be a deterrent.

i haven't read this entire thread, and i'm new to this, so i appologize if the momentum of the conversation has swayed and this is just confusing. greetings and salutations aside, i didn't feel that way, essentially.. as an intp, i can be consumed by ideas.. if these ideas are particularly terrible, whether they are directly related to my personal life or ideas about life, grande/intricate theories, i can become incredibly self-destructive. sometimes these theories are so intricate that i cannot even begin to remember them the next day...

i have seriously contemplated suicide at least 4 times: twice this resulted in half-hearted, private attempts (when i was very young) and the other two most memorable times, this resulted in my thinking myself to sleep with manic exhaustion or hyperventilating myself to sleep right after trying to figure out how i was going to kill myself. in both of these instances, my suicide was "fatally" plagued by my inability to decide whether or not i was going to leave a note, and what the note would say/explain if i did... i would be utterly amazed by the fact that my ideas could lead me to make the decision that i would like to kill myself, while that decision would ultimately be thwarted by my inability to make a decision about a note.. i would become unfathomably detached from myself and i just ended up confusing myself to sleep, waking up the next morning, not being able to re-trace the line of thoughts that had led to my self-destructive state of mind.. so, if i can't relate to even my own suicidal behavior, i really can't come close to relating to that of others.. is anyone else familiar with this "manic-thought-process -->suicide" experience/idea? i think that this general familiarity might be the closest i could get to feeling like i'm not alone.. though i never had the menacing thoughts/feelings of real solitude... that wasn't the issue... i guess i could say "my T tried to kill my F".. now my thoughts become more disorganized: it might be in an INTP's nature to let his/her feelings run their course.. heaven forbid we interfere with something so enigmatic...and so i fall asleep and that's that. i cannot for the life of me, however, find comfort in the fact that i consistently fall asleep as a cure for suicidal thoughts... "i want to kill myself, but maybe i won't try because, according to my experience, i'm just going to think myself into manic exhaustion instead.." and maybe an INTP's mode of decision-making (or lack thereof) is essentially what would save her from this particular decision..very detached.. and i really don't know what i'm trying to say anymore, but that's not uncommon and i'll post this thing anyway.

p.s. because i can't seem to finish reading this thread, if someone thinks this sounds familiar or thinks he or she can figure out what i was trying to say, please let me know. i would really be grateful.

[Special_tENFP]

I used to think that my life was so horrible why not end it. Reading has saved me a lot. I've read so many stories and they (whichever character) always seemed worse off then me. I start feeling like a whimp and decide to push forward. I seriously contemplated twice after recieving a beating from my mother. her whopping always included a monologue of "Bitch, worthless, stupid whore" and other degrading shit. While in highschool during my mothers pregnancy I never wanted to go home. This of coarse had me wandering the streets for three days. Sometimes I would pack a bag and take showers at school in the locker room. My mom would then use this as an excuse to demean me more and behave as if I was a horrible rebell and runaway teen. It got to the point that I sat in a bathroom with a blade in one hand and tears poring down my face with the notion that this was my last moment. I don't know what stopped me that day. I do believe in GOD but I don't have any notions on what happens after death. Ultmately, it was a religious book that saved me. In the book homeless teenagers discussed thier lives and why they are greatful to be alive. A passage in the book will always stay with me. It goes something like this,"Suicide is a permanant solution to a temparary problem." It helped me to realise although things were fucked up, life goes on, nothing last forever and that someday I would be grown enough to move out and never worry about her bullshit. I am grown now (21) and I must say much happier.

[Master O]

I've never been able to understand it - the need or desire for suicide. In fact I was even a little judgemental about it in my teen years.

Then last week I woke up in this weird mood. It was like all of the crap i was tired of dealing with and fed up with all came together in my mind. For that day, I was very negative (not like me). I felt lost. It seemed like nothing would improve and that even just getting out of my chair was a waste of time. The strangest thing is, i was really immersed in that day. I didn't even notice that it was in great contrast to the state of mind i usually possess. I mean I knew I was having a bad day, but I wasn't aware to which degree.

Anyhow, it just seemed like everything was pointless and I was apathetic to everything except for my desire to escape from it. Now I typically have 2 or 3 negative days a year, but this one was unlike any other.

The day after, I woke up and everything was fine again. I felt energized. That's when it dawned on me. I had a true day of depression. It then dawned on me that those that go through a clinical depression must feel like that or worse everyday. On top of that, it can get progressively worse with no sense of when it may get better. It probably seems like it never will.

If I was subjected to a seemingly never-ending string of days like that, where everything seemed hopeless; life had no meaning, things seemed like they would never get better, and I had already lived this way for a year or two, I think I would consider suicide; if only simply as a way out.

I can't blame anyone living like that.

[KellyKidd]

Almost jumped off the top of a mountain in Virginia. Almost jumped off the top of a building in New York City. Not because I wanted to kill myself though, I'm just intrigued with heights. So, I'm sure that if I wanted to kill myself, I'd be jumping. I would probably want to be on all kinds of drugs at the time too.

I'm looking forward to dieing some day. But I don't want to kill myself because I believe that if you do, then you have to come back here to earth and go through similar stuff again until you get it right (kinda like Groundhog Day) and I care enough about myself to not want to go through such crap again.

I've read up a lot about near-death-experience stuff, and it seems pretty easy to just fly through the tunnel and head for the light.

[attila_the_hunny]

Attempted twice, seriously both times but panicked the first. Learned my lesson with the first and the second was extremely...extreme. Stole car keys, my grandmother's ATM card, and drove away into the night then overdosed on 150 sleeping pills. Cops found me, poked fun at me, and stole my money after sending me to a mental health facility. The same one I went to after my first attempt.
My body refuses to die. So I gave up.
I still think about it sometimes. But my life isn't so bad...now. I'm an adult and all my choices are my own now.

[ppc]

your attempt to "kill" yourself is so emo it hurts

[INTrPosr]

I find it mind boggling that anyone would even consider it. Why? What is going on that would result in any person thinking something so permanent is the sole answer? My son told me years ago that he pondered on it. I made all attempts to remain calm and empathetic. What I really wanted to say is I'll break your fucking neck for proposing such a thing, therefore I will be the blame in the next life. Can someone please explain the reason of this morbid consideration?

[ppc]

attention

[panda]

I find it mind boggling that anyone would even consider it. Why? What is going on that would result in any person thinking something so permanent is the sole answer? My son told me years ago that he pondered on it. I made all attempts to remain calm and empathetic. What I really wanted to say is I'll break your fucking neck for proposing such a thing, therefore I will be the blame in the next life. Can someone please explain the reason of this morbid consideration?
For some people, life can be so painful that they'd rather not exist. I don't see what's so difficult to understand about it. Say, for example, that you have some horrible disease that is slowly eating away at your body and causing you tremendous suffering. You have no friends, no family, etc. There is no joy in your life. Your disease is terminal and you will probably die in six months. Why would you stick around if that were the case?

That is an extreme example, yes, but it illustrates why someone would contemplate suicide. There are other reasons, such as acute mental illness or pronounced existential angst, etc.

[attila_the_hunny]

your attempt to "kill" yourself is so emo it hurts

Maybe if I did it after the emoplosion. And if I did it because my kitten died.

[purple13]

Can someone please explain the reason of this morbid consideration?

To end the pain.

[ppc]

TEH PAIN OMG TEH PAINZ!

[Geek Engineer]

I guess I was looking around and found this thread, how timely. Pretty much just think about shooting myself as a way to get rid of the pain in my life, but never would I actually seriously want to do it. Sometimes I hope some outside force would do it maybe, because I am not able to do it myself.

I really wish I could do it in someway that it was temporary or directed. Like a way that would just get rid of the pain and associated memories without any of those awful side effects like eternal damnation or possibly the end of existence for us agnostics and atheists. I think it would also be so cool if we could just stop the clock on our world and have some time to think things out or do something completely different for a while.

[Wiki]

Visit www.lacunainc.com to solve your problem

[Geek Engineer]

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ... You got a be kidding me thats right out of a sci-fi flick. 8O I love the music!!!! Help I am going to die from the laugher... Ha Ha. Ha...Help.. Can't breath.... Help!!!! *Geek commits suicide from laughing to death*

[Zephyrus055]

I used to look forward to killing myself, and came close. But at the last minute I discovered how to attract some female attention.

Then life was great!

[Jkrs]

Here am I floating 'round my tin can
Far above the moon
Planet earth is blue
And there’s nothing I can do...
- David Bowie, "Space Oddity"

I'm not astronaut material - even if I passed the psych evaluations, it'd be too easy to off myself under those conditions. No planning required.
The planning time is what kills that idea for me, always. Time to second-guess myself. Time to remember that a minimum of half of all suicide attempts fail, and do I really want to deal with the fallout if I botch it?
So I'm pretty safe from myself. But that doesn't make it any less of an attractive idea, sometimes.

"Thoughts of suicide have gotten me through many a long night."
- Nietzsche

[Little ray of sunshine, aren't I?]

[cjs55]

"Thoughts of suicide have gotten me through many a long night."
- Nietzsche

[Little ray of sunshine, aren't I?]


I don't know, Nietzche usually makes me feel better and this quote is no exception.

[MaroonBells]

when my first love thought i did not love her and i couldn't convince her otherwise
a sad, sad little boy i was

[headfonez]

I attempted, I succeded!

[MaroonBells]

I attempted, I succeded!

so does it hurt, being dead i mean

[headfonez]

It only hurts on the inside

[panda]

It only hurts on the inside
That was actually sort of funny, headfonez.

[headfonez]

That was actually sort of funny, headfonez.
We should be "friends" haha.

[panda]

We should be "friends" haha.
Let's not get ahead of ourselves.

[headfonez]

Right. We need enemies to remind us who are friends "are"

[panda]

Right. We need enemies to remind us who are friends "are"
:rofl:

*imagines headfonez constructing an elaborate plot*

[headfonez]

*thinks of something to say. Um..um..uerr uh leave me alone!

[panda]

*thinks of something to say. Um..um..uerr uh leave me alone!
Fine, be that way! :cry:

[headfonez]

if(say.imsorry == "true"){
Run (happiness.fleeting)
}
else if(say.nothing){
Run (hostility.perpetual
}

hmm....
im sorry?


edit: syntax error.

[panda]

if(say.imsorry == "true"){
Run (happiness.fleeting)
}
else if(say.nothing){
Run (hostility.perpetual
}

hmm....
im sorry?


edit: syntax error.
:) It's nothing personal headfonez, I'm just kidding around.

[Wiki]

Let's not get ahead of ourselves.:rofl:

[afton]

Contemplated about it sometimes, in the depth of loneliness.

[Mr. Beef]

I did it once man......not a fun experience. :)

[Mr. Beef]

seriously.....most of the stuff on this thread is just a bunch of whiny horseshit. i've been beaten up, taken advantage of, stepped on and kicked around my whole life. No one even realized i had any gifts until high school. I never once considered it....not once (well, not because of those reasons). There was a period of time where i was going through some existential problems and was thinking "Is this what it's like to be an adult?....Am i going to be questionning the meaning of life forever?" I thought that the rest of my life would suck way more than my childhood, but once again, i realized how fucking retarded i was being. It's amazing how 99% of suicides come from a lack of understanding.

[Loco_Mullus_Surmuletus]

I did it once man......not a fun experience. :)

I did it twice.... and failed. Obviously.

No, not fun, not at all. But I was teenager than, my life was hell. :sobs: But I still claim that "I am the capitan of my pain" , and that suicide is not a sin.

[cloakable]

I did it once man......not a fun experience. :)
I've succeded. Man, that sucked.

[coffeezombie]

I've succeded. Man, that sucked.
I did too. But I was revived by coffee, it seems.

[cloakable]

I did too. But I was revived by coffee, it seems.
I wonder if Jesus had Gold Blend in his tomb?

[Master O]

Best way to go _might_ be with a few hundred rounds of ammunition, an AK-47, a mall full of "innocent" pedestrians and a suicide shooting spree. Definite way to get attention there. :-P

*shakes head* But I've thought about it and came to the conclusion that I'd be missing out on life if I did. AFter all... nothing lasts forever. http://www.pointlesswasteoftime.com/suicide.html

[dubbeltop]

dont kill yourself you might change your decision. get help anywhere nooowww. If your life is worthless than at least try too help someone else. Dont be sooo selfish.

[cjs55]

If you are so depressed or physically disabled to the point where it is a severe burden on your loved ones to take care of, then wouldn't suicide be the opposite of selfish?

I don't buy that suicide is a coward's act, or a selfish one. I think it certainly can be the act of an active and brave person.

[radiant__blur]

I don't buy that suicide is a coward's act, or a selfish one. I think it certainly can be the act of an active and brave person.

I agree that it can be. You can talk yourself into believing anything, whether it's "death's the easy way out" or "my death will unburden everyone," particularly when you have such a self-destructive mindset. If you want to die you start thinking you don't deserve to escape pain; if you're scared of death it can make you even more determined. All situations are different and we can't generalise.. some may be closer to euthanasia, but you can't rely on a mentally ill person to be able to make that sort of judgement.

I have attempted it. I was on the border, scared of life yet scared of death. Being in that state can really screw your mind up. I believe already being highly stressed can make you more susceptible to psychosis, but maybe that's just in Borderlines. Prolonged suicidal ideation can even cause PTSD symptoms. But whatever your reasons, it comes down to the way we cope with things. Reading about Fe has helped me to understand a lot.

[cjs55]

I agree with the mentally ill part. I do plan on committing suicide later in my life (unless if I die before old age), but I certainly don't plan on being mentally ill when I do it.

[Acala1]

Suicide is unnecessary, you will die anyway so let you body take his time...

[puzzled-observer]

Suicide is disnecessary, you will die anyway so let you body take his time...

But suffering is also 'disnecessary' and arguably so is living. So that's not really an argument for someone who wants to do it. Not that they should, they shouldn't commit suicide, but just pointing out.

[Acala1]

But suffering is also 'disnecessary' and arguably so is living. So that's not really an argument for someone who wants to do it. Not that they should, they shouldn't commit suicide, but just pointing out.

It's is their choice, it isn't my place to interfere. If someone decide do something i can only say do....
I only pointed that if death is inevitable so there is not necessary to interfere with the process if the result is the same...

[Sisyphus]

If you think suicide is done to ensure that one eventually dies, then you have got the wrong end of the stick somewhat.
"Cleaning up that pile of shit is disnecessary. It will eventually decompose."

[Acala1]

If you think suicide is done to ensure that one eventually dies, then you have got the wrong end of the stick somewhat.
"Cleaning up that pile of shit is disnecessary. It will eventually decompose."

If there is not another pressing reason to remove the shit, let the shit decompose, it happen all the time in nature... I don't think that the suicide is done to ensure the eventual death. I say that the eventual death make the suicide unnecessary. Eventual death and Suicide has the same end. What you want to do in the meanwhile is your choice.

[Sisyphus]

What if what you want to do in the meanwhile is be dead?

OK, at this stage in the argument I want to add a disclaimer that I don't think suicide is a good plan. There are other plans, guys. But that doesn't mean that all anti-suicide arguments make sense. Acala1's, for example, is utterly incoherent. But I'm thinking you already knew that, O you host of the unspecified suicidal.

[Acala1]

What if what you want to do in the meanwhile is be dead?

OK, at this stage in the argument I want to add a disclaimer that I don't think suicide is a good plan. There are other plans, guys. But that doesn't mean that all anti-suicide arguments make sense. Acala1's, for example, is utterly incoherent. But I'm thinking you already knew that, O you host of the unspecified suicidal.

I will try one last time, in simple terms.

You will die eventualy.
Suicide will kill you.
You are dead in both case.
If you can reach a end without effort it deems the other means to reach that end unnecessary.

Maybe part of the misunderstanding is for the fact that English is not my first language. And english gramatic my big weakness i think...

[officehome&student]

Err, i've contemplated the concept seriously, though i doubt i will ever feel suicidal.

Edit: despite what the avatar might suggest

[Karl]

Just like to say that I think suicide is a bad idea.

[Acala1]

Just like to say that I think suicide is a bad idea.

A idea can't be "good" or "bad" more like suitable or insuitable for a determined situation.
Suicide happen to be unsuitable in all situations. Atleast the situations that i can think in the moment.

[LongSilence]

A idea can't be "good" or "bad" more like suitable or insuitable for a determined situation.
Suicide happen to be unsuitable in all situations. Atleast the situations that i can think in the moment.

I think many suicidals pepper their self-absorbed thoughts with considerations of the 'suffering' or strain they are causing to the world and other people.

Its not just the results which matter but the consequences. That said, people who are suicidal are in no place to consider the potential for either.

[Shoot!]

I contemplated it a few times, even picked my preferred choice of going out, but then when I realized how much hurt that selfish action would be to my family I laid the idea to rest. No matter what crap I'm going through, nothing would justify the hurt that I would put my dad, siblings, and friends(rather acquaintences, really) through.

EDIT: Oh yea, and Zoloft helps too. XD

[MongolianFireOil]

Never thought about it. However, my wife attempted it, a guy i knew in my unit was successful, and when I was in Iraq, there were a few Marines that attempted it, some successfully, some not so successfully."

wow, thats a lot of people around you that have tried this.

[Acala1]

wow, thats a lot of people around you that have tried this.

Maybe i am a little morbid but if you will suicide. Do it correcty take precautions to go to the very end.. If you want help,ask for help don't try suicide. A failure in a suicide is as bad as a suicide the difference is that you will have to deal with the consequences...

[LowEnd]

I will try one last time, in simple terms.

You will die eventualy.
Suicide will kill you.
You are dead in both case.
If you can reach a end without effort it deems the other means to reach that end disnecessary.

Maybe part of the misunderstanding is for the fact that English is not my first language. And english gramatic my big weakness i think...


A idea can't be "good" or "bad" more like suitable or insuitable for a determined situation.
Suicide happen to be unsuitable in all situations. Atleast the situations that i can think in the moment.


Having considered it myself and also had a member of my family attempt it twice, I have thought enough about it to know that whether it is 'suitable' or not is a variable. Nobody can say "it is not suitable in any situation". I know what you're saying, 'death will happen eventually'. BUT. What if eventually isn't soon enough? For instance, someone has suffered emotional trauma and has no friends, no family, no confidence, no hope etc etc. If that person cannot think of a single reason why they should still be alive, and every waking minute is mental and physical pain, why would that person want to prolong the suffering (which has no sign of ever improving) any longer? If not being alive is a definite improvement on being alive, as long as it doesn't effect anyone else too much, that person has reason enough to commit suicide.

oh, and the word is; 'unnecessary', not 'disnecessary'

[Acala1]

Having considered it myself and also had a member of my family attempt it twice, I have thought enough about it to know that whether it is 'suitable' or not is a variable. Nobody can say "it is not suitable in any situation". I know what you're saying, 'death will happen eventually'. BUT. What if eventually isn't soon enough? For instance, someone has suffered emotional trauma and has no friends, no family, no confidence, no hope etc etc. If that person cannot think of a single reason why they should still be alive, and every waking minute is mental and physical pain, why would that person want to prolong the suffering (which has no sign of ever improving) any longer? If not being alive is a definite improvement on being alive, as long as it doesn't effect anyone else too much, that person has reason enough to commit suicide.

oh, and the word is; 'unnecessary', not 'disnecessary'

Unnecessary, thanks for the correction.

[Jennywocky]

Having considered it myself and also had a member of my family attempt it twice, I have thought enough about it to know that whether it is 'suitable' or not is a variable. Nobody can say "it is not suitable in any situation". I know what you're saying, 'death will happen eventually'. BUT. What if eventually isn't soon enough? For instance, someone has suffered emotional trauma and has no friends, no family, no confidence, no hope etc etc. If that person cannot think of a single reason why they should still be alive, and every waking minute is mental and physical pain, why would that person want to prolong the suffering (which has no sign of ever improving) any longer? If not being alive is a definite improvement on being alive, as long as it doesn't effect anyone else too much, that person has reason enough to commit suicide.

Rather like Freud, who was in his 80's, in terrible health, watching the invasion by the Germans, and had very painful jaw bone cancer that had eaten a hole in his face. He finally threw in the towel and asked his personal physician to dose him on morphine, and expired a day later ... essentially euthanasia.

In any cases, the times I have been on the edge of doing it, it's because it seemed like the SANE option and made sense. It seemed more fanciful to think that I had no power to change anything in my life and simply hope that it would somehow improve on its own.

[faysmith]

When I was in grade school (circa age 10 or so), a counselor at school got me to thinking about suicide. From the way I remember him phrasing it, I think the original objective was to warn me AGAINST it, but it had the opposite effect. Once he got me to think about suicide, I had a hard time NOT thinking about it, talk about memetic infection!

Fortunately, suicide seemed just plain wrong in ways that I was never able to put into words, not wrong as in morally wrong or illegal, just contrary to the goals one usually has in planning a suicide, it seemed somthing like a sucker bet, a trick or trap. Eventually I just decided that if I killed myself, I was doing the work of all THOSE people who'd been harrashing throughout my so-far short life. Instead of the traditional "they'll be sorry when I'm gone", I imagined the various bullies at school recieving the news of my death and saying one of two things: "Darn, now we have to find someone else to beat up!" or "WOW! We actually got her to kill herself, I wonder if we can do it again to another kid?"

I also didn't consider just attempting suicide as a cry for help, as, at the time I was in a "no one believes me!" state of mind and thought that if I attempted and failed I'd get told something like, "Now we know for sure you weren't serious, because a smart girl like you should be able to kill herself if she REALLY wanted to." Suicide as a "cry for help" always seemed ludicrous -- it's only legitimate if you suceed, and if you succeed, and convince people you REALLY WERE SERIOUS, it's too late for it to do you any good.

Round about age 15, I finally realized I was never going to commit suicide. I'd often look down from the top floor of a public library (which was barred, so of course I couldn't have followed through), thinking about how it would be to jump, the quick fall, the impact, the bone breakage, rupturing and bleeding. From that height, it was pretty certainly maiming, if not fatal, and it would hurt alot more than a longer fall, where I'd get so mucked up by the impact that I just wouldn't wake up and do a final thrashing about, (Didn't know at the time that part of being knocked out by the impact is that the lungs & heart usually stop) At any rate, round about age 15, I was looking down and realized I was over it, without really knowing how I'd worked myself out of the vicious cycle of thinking about suicide.

Now adays, I am certain I will never commit suicide, at least not for the standard reasons: "Stop the world! I want to get off!" I believe I will be roadkill somewhere, get killed by "accident" trying to get by in life.

[Ferrus]

Contemplated passingly would be most accurate I suppose. I have often reached a pitch where it seems the only option - but even at that stage I never seriously contemplate the path I wish to take to get there.

Ah, I am unsure which of the two I fall into.

[Chunes]

I think about it probably at least a half hour per week. I usually daydream about what it would be like when I did it, where I would do it, refining how to do it so I don't end up a vegetable, which is my biggest fear. And yes. Sometimes I even think about how my family would react, even though I don't care about them

[Heretic]

It has been said that. Truth has few friends and thair all suicides, and what is an INTP but a truth seeker. We are not intrested in rationalizing the teleological perspective. Death or Life, let it be what it is.

[Lateralus]

I generally like INTPs. I'd rather you not kill yourselves. Instead, invest your time in killing off people who annoy me. We could even make a game of it.

[Ferrus]

I generally like INTPs. I'd rather you not kill yourselves. Instead, invest your time in killing off people who annoy me. We could even make a game of it.
Do you annoy yourself?

If I had your inner dialogue, I would.

[Lateralus]

I never knew you were a psychic.

[Gish]

I've thought about it seriously, locked myself in a room and put a loaded gun barrel in my mouth. My being a coward is the only thing that stopped me. Low point in my life, or so I thought. Things seem to continuously head in the direction of severe depression.

[Anonymous]

Not quite sure why I voted "contemplated passingly", though I don't even remember voting. I've most definitely contemplated it seriously. No actual attempts, though.

[Ptah]

Does "contemplated seriously" here mean contemplate doing it (as in, "gee, perhaps I ought to/would like to to kill myself for the following reasons...") or just contemplate it, as in the surrounding causality and circumstance (as in, "under what circumstances would I choose to do it, and in what manner if it became necessary as such")?

[Faust06]

Does "contemplated seriously" here mean contemplate doing it (as in, "gee, perhaps I ought to/would like to to kill myself for the following reasons...") or just contemplate it, as in the surrounding causality and circumstance (as in, "under what circumstances would I choose to do it, and in what manner if it became necessary as such")?

I think in this case, the latter would be "contemplated passingly".

I've fantasized when I was younger, but I knew even then I would never do it.

[foodeater]

Contemplated passinlgly. I've thought about the consequences of doing it, but I knew I would never let myself do it. It's never been an issue, I always figured I might as well live as much of this life as I can while I'm here.. even when I was depressed.

[nullPointerException]

up untill about 8th grade i used to be that one kid that everyone made fun of, several times i seriously thought i would be better off if i did not exist but I have only passingly thought of suicide.

[Google Monster]

I shot 6 rounds from my rifle in my house until one bullet actually hit me.

I almost wanted to off myself once though. Things just went to shit, best friend killing himself, godmother died, large plans failing and a rather embarrassing night after drinking too much booze. Had the rifle to my noggin and finger on the trigger and my phone started ringing. I ignored the call and waited for it to stop vibrating but this person just kept calling. Finally answered and found out my God Father was on his death bed and they wanted me to talk to him before he died. I went with my cousin, but he died 10 mins before I got there.

just stop thinking about it after that though

[A Schnitzel]

just stop thinking about it after that though

It's interesting how the fact that people need you is the most powerful force for the human will to live. This is why suicide is considered a selfish act. Although it may look like people may not need when your depressed especially since no one depends on you for their day to day care. People can need you for smaller things like just being there for them, or having someone to cheer them up once in awhile.

[Shoot!]

People can need you for smaller things like just being there for them, or having someone to cheer them up once in awhile.

And if this isn't the case?:mellow:

[luff]

http://www.asofterworld.com/clean/drudge.jpg (http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=344)

[Leafknight]

Ironically, the one time I truly contemplated it was probably the first time I ever was actively an INTP.

I was a teen, young, stupid and inexperienced (as opposed to middle-aged, stupid and experienced as I am now) and when I really, truly thought about what I was contemplating, my very INTPness came to the rescue.

I ended up laughing outloud thinking how utterly stupid (not to mention fetid) I would be if I took myself out over just one or two problems. I reasoned (and that is a good word, it really WAS reasoning) that even if I lost the girl, flunked out of that grade or whatever it was I was so uptight about, I could still watch a beautiful sunset, enjoy a delicious meal or swim in the ocean, etc.

The stress melted away like snow in the Sahara after that. Kind of a defining moment really. :thumbup:

[Etherealsage]

Had the knife up to my chest before thinking I was being weak. I didn't have any sudden realization that made all the hurt go away and I didn't suddenly see the light through some sign or act of god, it was a moment of self-loathing that made me put the damn thing away.

Several years later, I did come to a realization that killed the depression though, so whatever to whomever thinks self-loathing is always unproductive and self-destructive.

[LazyReed]

I think it was Camus who said that suicide was the "fundamental question of philosophy". Is life worth it? I'm not really sure, I can admit that I have, even at the age of only 17, contemplated ending my life. It's a scary thought, but like all choices, the benefits must always be weighed in comparison to the losses. In other words, experience must outweigh non-experience.

For me, what I have had to do is understand my life's minuscule part in all of time, and the always immediate possibility of my death. I came to understand death as being inescapable, and therefore something that will eventually be experienced no matter what. Now, at this point in my life, I think it more practical and more useful to continue the struggle seeing as it is life which will prepare me for anything after death. If there is nothing after death, well than my life will be irrelevant and and consequently all my pain and anguish.

[Curtis24]

Contemplated but never actually thought I'd do it. More like, "Wow, I wish I had another shot at my life, maybe if I died I would get it".

[Curtis24]

And uh, let's all hope nobody ever reports this thread to any authority of any kind.

[MadamI'madaM]

other than secret melodramatic kiddie bullshit, the closest I ever got was researching about the carotid artery.

...still kiddie bullshit, but with more of a point than essentially posing/acting with a weapon (which I've done a few times)

[LazyReed]

Are there any articles or studies on personality type and inclination for depression/suicidal tendencies?

[liquidicy]

We are all gonna die anyway. If you kill yourself, it is not such a big loss. The biggest possible loss from your perspective but objectively speaking, one less person out of 6 billion. Just remember - whatever you do, you will die sooner or later.

If you look at it from a positive point of view, we are one of the very last generations before immortality becomes a reality so your genes would be only slightly diluted and a very similar person to you will exist forever.

[bleh]

my little sister did it

[Curtis24]

:(

[purveyor of truth]

my little sister did it

How old were you?

[bleh]

i was 23 when she did it and she was 19

[purveyor of truth]

i was 23 when she did it and she was 19

The tougher life gets, the tougher you have to get. Thats the basic lesson I've learned, let go and life will overwhelm you. My father killed himself, nice guy but he had no balls. I carry the good parts of him in my soul, thats how I dealt with it.

[bleh]

The tougher life gets, the tougher you have to get. Thats the basic lesson I've learned, let go and life will overwhelm you. My father killed himself, nice guy but he had no balls. I carry the good parts of him in my soul, thats how I deal with it.

How long ago if you don't mind me asking? I agree. It has overwhelmed me many times since then.

[purveyor of truth]

How long ago if you don't mind me asking? I agree. It has overwhelmed me many times since then.

36 years ago, I was 8, but at the time they told me he had a heart attack. I figured it out later and my grandfather confirmed it. It still brings tears to my eyes to talk about it because it shattered my world back then. It doesnt really hurt that much even though it brings tears. What doesnt kill you makes you stronger IF you have a fighter attitude, and eventually there is a certain level of comfort in surviving.

[bleh]

36 years ago, I was 8, but at the time they told me he had a heart attack. I figured it out later and my grandfather confirmed it. It still brings tears to my eyes to talk about it because it shattered my world back then. It doesnt really hurt that much even though it brings tears. What doesnt kill you makes you stronger IF you have a fighter attitude, and eventually there is a certain level of comfort in surviving.

Sorry to hear. I keep going because I can't do the same thing to my family.

[purveyor of truth]

Sorry to hear. I keep going because I can't do the same thing to my family.

Whatever it takes... I kept going for a reverse reason, to spite my bitch mother, didnt want her to have the satisfaction of seeing me go down too.

The pain will ebb and flow, it will ease. These things take time to become manageable. It'll never go away but it will fade out of your daily concious existence. One foot in front of the other, thats how you march of hell.

[Ezion]

I've contemplated it passingly, but never seriously. More the implications and meanings behind it.
There's too much to learn for me to 'throw in the towel'. Couple that with the fact that one can never know everything, and there's plenty of reason to live.

If I had to choose how I wanted to die though, I would go with any sort of death that leaves no discoverable body. That way I will remain a memory, and nothing else.

[camille]

I've had two very close friends commit suicide. Both were drug addicts. Doug shot himself in the head. Lindsey hung himself.

Despite everything, I've never contemplated suicide.

[JohnClay]

Technically I attempted gassing myself and changed my mind when it became a bit unpleasant (disorientating)

[ReiAyanami]

half tried.

laid down on one set of a twin pair of railway tracks and started to sleep.
woke up when the train passed on the other track.

made a mental note that it is not time yet and went home.
it got me out of my lethargy, and the last 10 years have been better than i could have imagined. i am truly glad for that experience.

[BAJ]

I put "attempted and failed", which may not be accurate. I mean...when is an attempt an attempt?

I imagine I may end by suicide, but it just keeps getting postponded. (Procrastination?) I make plans, then I think, "Ah, well, I'll go watch that program first", and then come back later and do it.

I discovered this thread a few days ago. I already apply the philosophy of having at least one (and possibly several) means of suicide readily available. That way I can say, "Well let's continue living. If it gets too terrible or if certain things happen, then I can always end it."

I've done a great deal of research into methods.

However, it's not easy to do. Yes, yes, it's easy, but it's also not easy. I just don't think I've ever been in quite enough pain. I've been in enough pain to harm myself, etc., but I think it takes a bit more pain to actually end it.

However, I have thought about it in more than passing. I have this book I read a month or two ago: "The Suicidal Mind" by Shneidman, which is a very interesting book. The author analyzed many, many case histories of actual suicides...including four that he worked with who had attempted and later succeeded...which provided very detailed insight...including many of the writings of the actual people.

Murray had a list of 20 psychological needs. What Shneidman found was that two or three of the needs were causing the subject pain. It did not matter which of the few needs it was. What mattered was the acute level of pain they were causing the subject.

It is a matter of perception! You see, some people have a need "Nuturance", which is "The need to give sympathy and gratify the needs of another person, especially someone who is weak (an infant), disabled, tired, inexperienced, infirm, defeated, lonely, humiliated, rejected, sick..."

The definition continues, but the point is, that I do not have this need at all really or it is not in my top three...It is much closer to 20 as a need, but in another person, this perceived need may be the thing that pushes them over the edge.

Anyway, it is a fascinating book. I'm using it to try to explore why I'm depressed, and then look for paths away from the depression through cognitive therapy or action.

[Ferrus]

Technically I attempted gassing myself and changed my mind when it became a bit unpleasant (disorientating)
May I ask - what did you expect?

[JohnClay]

May I ask - what did you expect?
I hadn't read much about it and thought I'd just fall asleep... now that I think about it falling asleep while your brain is active makes you feel disorientated.

[cripple]

I already apply the philosophy of having at least one (and possibly several) means of suicide readily available.
Yeah, but this is my problem. I just haven't found a good enough method. It would have to be something extraordinary. Beyond imagination. My main criteria is that it must not be to quick. I want to experience death. Don't want my mind to shut of too quickly and steal the moment away. Oblivion hit without me ever knowing is possibly my worst fear, I guess that does not go to well with suicide.

Na, I'll just keep hugging death to my chest. It is my lover that will never leave me. She will come soon enough even if I wouldn't want her.

[kendoiwan]

Yeah, but this is my problem. I just haven't found a good enough method. It would have to be something extraordinary. Beyond imagination. My main criteria is that it must not be to quick. I want to experience death. Don't want my mind to shut of too quickly and steal the moment away. Oblivion hit without me ever knowing is possibly my worst fear, I guess that does not go to well with suicide.

Na, I'll just keep hugging death to my chest. It is my lover that will never leave me. She will come soon enough even if I wouldn't want her.

I call bullshit!!! all you have to do is pierce an artery or take a slow acting poison... <_<

[cripple]

I call bullshit!!! all you have to do is pierce an artery or take a slow acting poison... <_<
You are mistaken.

[MuseedesBeauxArts]

Na, I'll just keep hugging death to my chest. It is my lover that will never leave me. She will come soon enough even if I wouldn't want her.

This makes some sense--when things are fucked up, you mentally have an out, a place your mind can go. Even though you're damn well going to walk out the other side and probably never do anything, at least the option is there if it comes to that. And maybe someday you'll love life and hang on when death comes.

[overainbows]

Since an young age I comtemplated passingly, but never really made a plan or anything. I don't know... I think it has some cathartic effect. When I think of it, it always makes me cry (which I think is a good sign that I wouldn't really commit it) 'cause I start thinking of so many things I like and it gets so evident how much I love myself (which is something I'm not always aware of due to my high self-criticism).

But I only think of it when I'm at the top of a crysis and I'm not seeing a solution... but it always comes up after all the cryin' stuff! hahah I think it's a way my mind found to make me release all the stress. :lol:

Most often when I'm too stressed (but not feeling in a dead end) I think of how it's gonna be when I die. It's weird, but lately I perceived how good it can be, 'cause after doing so I get much more willing to change what I'm unhappy about. :banana:

The conclusion is that I don't think anyone would really cry when I die, but it doesn't matter 'cause I've already cried a lot! =))

I read something about this self death thinking thing last week when I was reading about Enneagram and it had something to do with my 4 wing. I'm a 5w4.

About depression, yeah I fell in depression when I was 14. I think I still have a foot in there (and I don't really think this melancholic mood will totally go someday, and I don't want it to!), but lately I'm feeling better. MBTI is helping a lot! :whoop:

[Madrigal]

I think no matter how bad things get, humanity has produced so many beautiful things, the world has so much beauty in it that I'll neve be able to see, and I want as much of my short life as possible to see and learn what I can, even if I'm usually unhappy. I would prefer a longer life of unhappinss than no life at all. Because maybe those moments mae it all worth while. When you see or learhn something that's great.

/had a few beers

[Promethean]

Considered it every single day for at least a 4 year period when I was younger. Happens rarely now though and never as seriously.

[zelig]

About 5 years ago, I was at my lowest point and felt like opting out. The friend that came to visit me then and held my hand through the fog has just taken his own life, yesterday. I recently moved to a new town and he didn't have my new phone number. Fuck, I feel like an asshole.

[kali]

If I were to ever kick the bucket, I'd do it ridiculously. Like through water intoxication (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Water_intoxication) or something.

[Lawck]

I regret not succeeding.

[Harion]

/had a few beers
that alone makes life worthwhile

[Nyura]

Wanted to so that I could go home but knew I'd have to come back here to do all this shit again.

[purveyor of truth]

I dont know about others who tried and failed but it changed my life, when I came to I saw life differently. I felt like if I was that close to dying I might as well live life full bore. Why not? I had suffered 16 years of depression prior to that. I was done suffering. I honestly dont think that life matters, but if one choses to live, then fucking live.

[sartrecastic]

I think I've lost myself these days.

I remember my suicide attempt was the culmination of a long obsession with the sort of stuff Sartre said thrown in the first page of this thread. I can't imagine that I was really simply driven by the logic of existentialism to TRY IT ONCE, there was some sort of stress switch that got flipped there as well. But it flushed something out, I think. Proved to me I could do it. Since then I'm adamant that when I do die it will be suicide, and that won't be a negative thing. I want ownership of my own death. But then I still contemplate suicide in a negative way anyway.

Ahhhhhh. It's like an old friend or something.

[Ill eagle]

I've never considered it, but I doubt that anyone could help but to imagine what it must be like. I think if I was equally depressed as most suicidal people I still wouldn't commit suicide.

[bass_n_treble]

I've heard suicide is usually an act of anger--not sadness, or on the manic side of a bipolar swing.

/hearsay

[purveyor of truth]

I've heard suicide is usually an act of anger--not sadness, or on the manic side of a bipolar swing.

/hearsay
I think there can be multiple reasons, though I'm sure that is a major one.

[sartrecastic]

I think it's most likely to happen during a mixed episode rather than a depressive one.

[Ill eagle]

in most cases there requires a certain degree of stupidity, low-self esteem, and depression.

stupidity is seriously a main factor, though subjective.

[purveyor of truth]

stupidity is seriously a main factor, though subjective.
I would wildly disagree, stupidity and happiness go hand in hand. Stupid=happy

[sartrecastic]

in most cases there requires a certain degree of stupidity, low-self esteem, and depression.

stupidity is seriously a main factor, though subjective.

Stupidity is neither here nor there in the matter.

[Ill eagle]

I think you're a candidate if you're both socially inept and stupid.

of course- there are many varieties of stupidity.

Perhaps emotional stupidity?

[purveyor of truth]

Perhaps emotional stupidity?
Since a lot of suicides tend to be backgrounded in neglectfull/abusive childhoods I guess you could say that. But stupidity is different then lack of knowledge/experience.

[sartrecastic]

I think you're a candidate if you're both socially inept and stupid.

of course- there are many varieties of stupidity.

Perhaps emotional stupidity?

Perhaps. Perhaps not. What is "stupidity" in the context of the emotions?

[Ill eagle]

Since a lot of suicides tend to be backgrounded in neglectfull/abusive childhoods I guess you could say that. But stupidity is different then lack of knowledge/experience.
maybe not the main cause, but the stupidity/irrationality may also be caused by what caused the suicide- also: learned helplessness, external locus of control. Imagine being both severly introverted and severly stupid.



Perhaps. Perhaps not. What is "stupidity" in the context of the emotions?
Irrational emotions, typically of the EF type.

[purveyor of truth]

I think that anyone who was totally rational would kill themselves at the earliest possible convenience. I think wanting to live is madness. Prove me wrong.

[sartrecastic]

maybe not the main cause, but the stupidity/irrationality may also be caused by what caused the suicide- also: learned helplessness, external locus of control. Imagine being both severly introverted and severly stupid.



Irrational emotions, typically of the EF type.

Essentially emotions that are not the expected proportionate/appropriate response to their stimuli? Because emotions in themselves I would argue have no rational dimension. Rationality is what is applied to emotions and situations to produce appropriate courses of action. (With that in mind it is totally rational, in many circumstances, to commit suicide.)

[Ill eagle]

I think that anyone who was totally rational would kill themselves at the earliest possible convenience. I think wanting to live is madness. Prove me wrong.

"Any form of consciousness is a disease" - FD

I prove you right, but that seems more rare.

Maybe I was only talking about one type of suicide.

[bass_n_treble]

in most cases there requires a certain degree of stupidity, low-self esteem, and depression.

stupidity is seriously a main factor, though subjective.

I wholeheartedly disagree. In fact, I think a lot of suicides are people who can offer much more talent to the world than the average person.

[Ill eagle]

I wholeheartedly disagree. In fact, I think a lot of suicides are people who can offer much more talent to the world than the average person.

okay then- drugs and chemical imbalance, generally speaking.

(I'm not stubborn)

[UniversalMagnetism]

I've heard suicide is usually an act of anger--not sadness, or on the manic side of a bipolar swing.

/hearsay

Yes, or, incredible never-ending frustration of failures and misunderstandings with other people, leaving someone to become so desperate for a way to end the insanity...

[Kazan]

Suicide is for the impatient, the vain (cannot face their own failure), or the overwhelmed.

That does not mean it is always bad, but it means it is nearly never good.

[HoneyCyclical]

Why is the poll made public?
stupid.