Ego?

[avidApathy]

I beleive that ultimately EVERYBODY thinks they are 'better' than EVERYBODY else.

'better' is very very personal. one person's view of being 'better' is always radically different from everyone elses.

I used to think that there was a large exception to this, more like half and half. But then i realized, due to a bad breakup a few months ago, that thinking you are not better than everyone, that is, thinking you are average or above having such a big ego is an ego in itself. To say you are not better than everyone is actually say you are better than everyone because you do not think you are.
(i have drawn on some the existencial understanding of choice...that no choice is a choice...just as thinking you have no ego is to create a new ego.)

Ive been reading a lot of Neitchzse recently and this idea is probly more his than mine so im officially giving credit to him here.

[Architectonic]

Its either that or depression. I personally would like to believe that I'm better than that. ;)

[Serotonin]

Its either that or depression. I personally would like to believe that I'm better than that. ;)

I believe you've nailed it right there Arch.
Be privately snobbish. The alternative compromises your self-esteem.

[athman]

I'm not sure that everyone thinks they're better than everyone else, or at least I don't think that way. I think i'm better than most at some things, but certainly not all things. When I see someone better than me at something i'm ok with that cos i think i'm sure there are other things that i can excel in (even it ifs only in left handed tiddly winks or something). Although it would be really dispriting if someone was actually better than me at everything.

[Shai Gar]

SJ's believe everyone is equal
SPs dont care
NF's think the world would be a nicer place if everyone was treated equally
NT's know they are better

[tragula]

This would have been the perfect thread for an anonymous poll!

"Do you secretly think you are better than almost everyone else?"

[avidApathy]

This would have been the perfect thread for an anonymous poll!

"Do you secretly think you are better than almost everyone else?"
well ill make a poll on it later i hate school to do right now

[Dman]

Better at what?

BTW avidApathy, I like your freudian slip with the "i hate school to do right now"

[YardGnome]

And as I pull my head out
I am without one doubt
Don't want to be down here
Feeding my narcissism I
Must crucify the ego
Before it's far too late
I pray the light lifts me out

Before I pine away.
...

So crucify the ego
Before it's far too late
To leave behind this place so
Negative and blind and cynical

[euterpenc]

And as I pull my head out
I am without one doubt
Don't want to be down here
Feeding my narcissism I
Must crucify the ego
Before it's far too late
I pray the light lifts me out

Before I pine away.
...

So crucify the ego
Before it's far too late
To leave behind this place so
Negative and blind and cynical


Great song, with good points. As is Forty-six and 2.

Jung talks about this in Aion when in the chapter about Christ as a symbol of the self. He was crucifed between two thieves. He said that the ego is crucified between good and evil and other various pairs of opposites. The ego is inevitably stuck between the two, balance is the goal.

As to the thinking you're better, it's good to think you are. I used to try and supress my feeling of superiority, but that was highly destructive. If you honestly feel yourself better so be it. Don't let people trick you into normal treatment and mediocrity.

["InsertNameHere"]

umm yeah, other people have too many faults. Everyone should be like me-minus the poor grammer skills

[Boneca]

I used to think I was superior to at least most people, but I don't anymore.

Then again, I was diagnosed with depression today, so perhaps Architechtonic is right. :huh:

[Shai Gar]

my honest opinion is this, i think everyone is a bit retarded until they prove themselves to me, to someone else where i can hear about it, or to the world in a medium that i have access to or will one DAY have access to.

but even the cretins i treat with politeness

[Geoff]

SJ's believe everyone is equal
SPs dont care
NF's think the world would be a nicer place if everyone was treated equally
NT's know they are better

Nah, I know plenty of SJ's who think they are superior. And a few who believe themselves inferior. In fact, with their adherence to social structures and rules they are unlikely to think people are equall.

-Geoff

[J.L. des Alpins]

…i have drawn on some the existencial understanding of choice…
Dear avidApathy, existentialism may indeed help us a bit here. Let’s see:

Ego appears from consciousness of oneself as being part of the world.

In an ideal situation, one’s ‘ego size’ remains consistent with one’s actual impact on his environment. A firefighter who, thanks to his ‘better’ experience and courage, went back in a burning house and saved a child from certain death does feels good about his higher abilities; he may even ‘show some ego’ without derogatory looks from his peers. Similarly, at an office party, a new employee who mostly listens may keep a low profile and ‘hide his ego’ without being judged as antisocial.

It is when one’s ego size becomes out-of-sync with reality that interpersonal issues can arise. Sartre would say that an out-of-proportion ego is evidence of “bad faith”.

One enters ‘bad faith’ when he sets arbitrary limits to his capabilities to grow his consciousness. ‘(Too) big egos’ or ‘(too) small egos’ are the result of individuals refusing to open their mind to the possibility that their behavior is adversely impacting the people around them. For some reasons—low self-confidence, feeling of insecurity, fears, low self-esteem etc.—they choose not to fully exercise their free will and therefore keep their mind closed. For example:


A ‘too big ego’ at work: A computer programmer, who suffers from low self-esteem, keeps bragging about his superior programming skills, annoying his co-workers madly; his behavior is thus impairing teamwork and reducing his team’s productivity. This person, by closing his eyes on the negative impact he is having on his environment, is in fact refusing to choose a more constructive behavior.
A ‘too small ego’ at home: A mother, who experiences low self-confidence, got angry once at her son and now thinks herself as an inept parent; she ignores the 49 other instances when she shown exemplary calm, resourcefulness, and love. She is probably causing undue pressure on her son who sees her unhappiness.

I beleive that ultimately EVERYBODY thinks they are 'better' than EVERYBODY else.
Now, is it—or isn’t it—bad to think oneself as better that others?

Clearly, in some situations, it is bad, and in other cases, it is called for. Say that a husband strongly wants to buy a new family car because the age of the current car is a precursor to costly mechanical repairs. His wife is firmly against the family taking the financial liability of a new car at this time. After much argument, the husband ultimately claims that because he is ‘better’ at mechanical matters than her wife, then a new car is in order. You can imagine what may follow next:


One possibility is that the man tries to genuinely understand his wife’s concerns (thus becoming more aware of the situation) and seeks a constructive way to present his ‘better’ knowledge.
Another possibility is that the man feels hurt that his wife does not trust his ‘superior’ insights, his ego inflates beyond proportion, he becomes blindly stubborn, and the dialogue collapse.


In summary, I would like to present the following conjecture:
One’s ego, no matter the ‘size’ of that ego, is valuable to others only as long as it remains in line with what the others can take of it.


Let’s see how much damages this statement can sustain from the scrutiny of fellow INTPs.


J.L.