Manipulating People

[paladinoflunaria]

Do you have charisma?

[Vagabond]

Oh yeah. I just hate it to the point it could make me puke (literally) and I don't do it even if my life depends on it. If the life of my (Feelers, therefore helpless) loved ones is at stake, I will do it.

Now that I think of it, there is a whole lot of abilitites in me that I have dismissed and repressed to be used 'on extreme cases only'...

[MasterMerk]

I can fake it very well. For me It's a learned ability. :)

[paladinoflunaria]

I hate playing the system, but I can do it.

Does anyone seem to be a people magnet?

[Vagabond]

Does anyone seem to be a people magnet?
Hell yes... if I understand what you mean with this anyway...

[paladinoflunaria]

People seem to come to you for no reason (I suspect they just want to bother me) too, eh?

[Birnam]

people magnet- like if you're browsing the library and people continually assume that you are a librarian. or, loads of people like you and want you to notice them etc? Yes to the first, I must act too confident or something, and no to the second- I make it pretty clear that I'm not interested in becoming buddies or chit chatting.

and the poll- some people I can manipulate, others no- I almost never do it, and never consciously.

[paladinoflunaria]

I don't mean either the second or first. I make it pretty clear that I'm not interested in chatting, but people come to me anyway. They don't stick around long because of my introversion, though. I'm asking if anyone else attracts people in that manner, even if the attraction doesn't last. Can you make the attraction last if you want to (can you amass followers)?

[Avengardh]

Yeah, always have been able to do it, since I was a kid.
I didn't really know what I was doing until I was about 12 or so, then I stopped.

Since then people come to me for anything, math help, science help, relationship help, all ages, mostly girls, but guys are in there too. What they have told me is that I am one of the few who actually listen and care at the same time, and give out good adviced when asked (I never give out adviced when not asked, unless I really care about the person and I know him/her) aside from the "You are so sweet and funny!", I don't know where they get that...but I do care about people, to my own dismay perhaps.
I don't like to do it because I think it's not honorable and honest. But it also depends...I have done it before only to spare more hurt to people.

~*Aven*~

[file cabinet]

I can't manipulate ppl because I don't know how.. possibly because I was raised in a `christian` home. or maybe I manipulate ppl and I don't realize it ? mmm.. there is one girl who I feel like I manipulate sometimes. meh, I duno for sure though

[MasterMerk]

I've had that happen to me many times, paladin. I cant explain it, I think it may have something to do with my calm and collected appearance. I'm also not bad looking, which helps :p.

I cant keep a conversation going at all, but I never let myself get bothered by awkward silences, or at least I hide it well (keeping eye contact, calm expression). It places the burden of keeping conversation going on *their* shoulders. Although this is hard if you are feeling weary of the person you're talking to, it is easy if you know they are of no threat.

[int]

Me? Maybe, given the proper preperation. My wife (most likely an ENFP) on the other hand...she could sell glasses to a blind man.

[paladinoflunaria]

MasterMerk said:

I've had that happen to me many times, paladin. I cant explain it, I think it may have something to do with my calm and collected appearance. I'm also not bad looking, which helps :p.

Charisma is an attractive force. Good looks are rolled into charisma too. I'm just wondering whether there are more charismatic INTPs than not.

[Birnam]

Thinking it over, I can manipulate people in believing I know something I don't- I can ramble about nothing indefinetly while making myself seem intelligent (as long as the other person knows less than I do, and even then..

As far as Charisma goes, I don't think I have it. I feel like I am the average. I don't stick out in anyway, people don't remember me. I have a very charismatic brother to whom I pale in comparison.

[Vagabond]

My wife (most likely an ENFP) on the other hand...she could sell glasses to a blind man.
My mother (being and ESFJ and a 2w3) could also do that :P LOL

Attracting people... what I understood was whether people come to me with their problems, for advice etc... it is totally weird when people I barely know do that. Usually I like that when it is about asking help with their personal/inner problems, or about applying reason on a situation; I hate it when it is about work, school subjects, doing the laundry :D blah blah... I am good at it though. Or at least it looks like that, because I will agree to help only if I know I can do it and, if I agree, I will try hard to make it. I'm not sure whether I could make the attraction last, I haven't really cared enough to try... my guess is that, theoretically, it is possible, but in action I couldn't.

[jittus rye]

Charisma is fun. It is like using intellegence to extrovert I guess. Charisma doesn't come subliminally to me though, I actually have to engade in communications.

[indczn]

I would have to say that I lack charism. However, I have found that I am pretty good at manipulating people. I have had a fair bit of practice at it, too. Of course I would be even better at manipulating people if i had a little bit more charisma to go along with my ability to read people. I don't use my skills to cause too much harm, though. I mainly just use them while hustling people or when playing poker.

Manipulation has such a negative connotation. Its not always bad. I manipulate people into bowling better when they are on my team or worse when my team needs to win. I also managed to keep my cousin sane enough to help my hockey team win when i was captain. It really stems from my innate ability to read people, and I am especially good at telling when people are full of BS or not.

Im not really sure how this sounds... but oh well.

[Johnny]

When I think of manipulation, I think of people who are using others for selfish reasons as indczn describes. This only works temporarily, and when it's over it almost never works on that same person again...and their friends...and their family...you get the idea.

I take no pride in manipulating others and am not interested in the activity unless I'm able to rationalize that it's in that other person's best (or at least not worst) interest. I then see myself as supporting others to accomplish a common goal. When they then take matters from there without me, I am not left standing with a pie in my face.

[Crazy]

I use it, comes naturally, but I only use it to keep my ass out of the frying pan.

I have charisma in my looks when I'm not in chameleon mode. Otherwise I can blend in and go unnoticed, even by people that know me. Growing up my nickname was "Spooky Lukey" because I would seem to materialize and catch people off guard.

I attract people alot. Everyone seems to want to talk to me, even if it's just small talk.

[HairlessBluetick]

Oh yeah, I had a really problem with this for awhile. I had to give it up a couple years ago because it was messing with my sense of reality.

[BritainOphira]

Charisma, well, that mainly depends upon my mood. When I want to be charismatic, I am truly charismatic, but when I don't, you risk a death glare (or so it was named by a friend) second to none, perfected during many a disagreeable church service.
Manipulating people is another story entirely. When there is something I really want or need (mainly cooperation, during school), I can manipulate people, but I normally choose not to as I hate being manipulated by others and it takes too much work for my taste.

[antireconciler]

Manipulation has such a negative connotation. Its not always bad. I manipulate people into bowling better when they are on my team or worse when my team needs to win. I also managed to keep my cousin sane enough to help my hockey team win when i was captain. It really stems from my innate ability to read people, and I am especially good at telling when people are full of BS or not.

Im not really sure how this sounds... but oh well.

That is a really good point. I can guide people's feelings to some extent when they are receptive to it (most people love reassurance and egoless feedback in stimulating environments) and can feel what is on the minds of people close to me when they are consumed by something, but I can't remember the last time I tried to manipulate someone in the negative/standard sense of the word. I want to say I can master any human endeavor given enough time to practice, but I really can't see myself manipulating someone, so it might mean I can't.

[nobarcode]

Can you manipulate people if you want to?

Does anyone seem to be a people magnet?

For me, the two questions are independent from one another and each merit their own thread.

I voted Yes on the poll.

[paladinoflunaria]

For me, the two questions are independent from one another and each merit their own thread.

Yeah. There are two threads, by the way. Manipulation is toying with cause and effect- like chess or go. Attraction can be cause and effect, but I suppose the question is whether the attractiveness is innate.

[candela]

Very rarely will people approach me. I don't think I'm that bad looking.

As far as manipulation goes, I don't think I have much trouble getting people to do things for me. But I'm not sure about that since I usually don't ask anyone for anything.

I've been told I can be intimidating and that I always look angry. Still haven't figured out why I get that so much.

[Crazy]

Very rarely will people approach me. I don't think I'm that bad looking.

As far as manipulation goes, I don't think I have much trouble getting people to do things for me. But I'm not sure about that since I usually don't ask anyone for anything.

I've been told I can be intimidating and that I always look angry. Still haven't figured out why I get that so much.

Your brow do you furrow when you think, angry it makes you look, hmmm.