5 Going to 8 - anger management

[biscuithead]

So with the ennegram pattern of the healthy five going to the healthy side of 8 - have any of you had to deal with increasing feelings of anger?

I've repressed a lot of anger - it's irrational, I rationalize it away most of the time. Recently I've been giving myself permission to be angry for not reason. If I feel it, it's OK. No judgment, it just is. It seems to help a bit but I'm really struggling with liking myself when I'm in the 8 space. I just really hate arrogant people and I constantly second guess myself when I'm coming out of the 8 space and wonder if I'm coming off as being exactly the thing that I hate.

I find the more I'm in the 8 space the more angry I am - like a lot, and sometimes for really stupid irrational reasons that make me hate myself. The calm cool withdrawn 5 space is really quite different from that 8 space...argh.

Does anybody know what I'm talking about?

[rainfall]

Does anybody know what I'm talking about?

Yes. Why not remove the the things that trigger anger? And, also, why not withdraw into the quiet of your room and do something peaceful, calm down for a few days. Give yourself time to relax.

[biscuithead]

If I'm at home, yeah that works...but more often I find I'm angry at things at work...poor leadership choices, grade 7 behavior by co-workers that drive me nuts. Not sure how to handle it at work, on an more ongoing basis.

[10_percent_ninja]

Some mixture of apathy and forgiveness may help. Or utilitarianism. Anger is seldom useful. Repressing anger is even less helpful, because it flavors so many other daily interactions. One of the reasons I am fond of karate is that it provides such an excellent outlet for life's frustrations. Or dancing. After a bad week, I used to get drunk and go dancing.

[rainfall]

If I'm at home, yeah that works...but more often I find I'm angry at things at work...poor leadership choices, grade 7 behavior by co-workers that drive me nuts. Not sure how to handle it at work, on an more ongoing basis.

I tend to simply shut off all thinking about work. I show up, I do what I'm told, I get out. Obviously, I ask questions when I don't understand something, I try to get a grasp of what and why we're doing - but aside from that I really don't care if the entire building blows up. I take no responsibility for anything, ever. "I did it because X told me to do so."

If I see someone who's higher in rank do something stupid, I observe and say nothing. Even if I know that in five minutes there'll 10 people running around fixing that person's mistake, I merely stand there and observe. With a kind of dry smile...

I stick to procedures. Even if they're utterly senseless, illogical, idiotic, wasteful. I do it because I can hide behind it. If anyone interferes, I point out that this is "the way it's done, the way I was told to do it. Do you want me to do it differently?" If something screws up, I point out that I was doing what I was told to do. Sometimes I get someone who's smarty pants enough to say "Why don't you start thinking?" to which I promptly reply "Gets you into trouble".

As for people, my attempts to be friendly seem to never work. I think shutting the hell up most of the time might do the trick.

[biscuithead]

Staying in the observing state is what I used to do - typical ennegram 5 behavior. But over time I haven't found it serves me particular well. I want to participate and share my knowledge and be part of a team. I have become totally aware of when I stop being withdrawn and trust myself enough to step up and take on the leadership that my job requires. That 8 mode in enneagram though is associated with the gut/anger pattern.

Becoming consious of my reactions, behaviors and the people around me I'm aware that I'm angry in a way I've never realized before.

Over the past year i've been trying to remedy clenching my teeth at night, stop hunching over at my desk (I was well on the way to hunchback of notre dame status)...well through studying enneagram I've become super aware of my postures/energies/attitudes. It's only recently I've discovered that I've been angry a lot - in fact, I think sometimes going to the negative side of the 8.

For the first time acknowledging I'm angry - fantastic, I'm aware. But what the hell do you do with it. How do you manage your anger? when there isn't opportunity to go into another room, calm yourself. I'm typically extroidinarily calm, and up until recently didn't feel a whole lot of anything. Recently my bloody fucking feelings have become rather more prominent in my life and oddly in my decision making process and I'm not wholly comfortable with that.

That felt really good to express.

[Curtis24]

my bloody fucking feelings have become rather more prominent in my life and oddly in my decision making process and I'm not wholly comfortable with that.



Welcome to the Dark Side... :devil:

[M.L.Fay]

Hit the gym, go running...i.e. physical exercise helps.

[rainfall]

when there isn't opportunity to go into another room, calm yourself.

Mental room, then. Or a place. Detach, unwind, go back?

[biscuithead]

I always thought the dark side for me was the existential angst and depression of the five space...I guess I have a new dark side, yay!

Off the gym I guess.

[Lethal Sage]

I beat on a snare drum or play some Guitar Hero.

[Curtis24]

I always thought the dark side for me was the existential angst and depression of the five space...I guess I have a new dark side, yay!

Off the gym I guess.

Yeah, the *Feeling* side!