New fascination with the Enneagram

[Biff_Loman]

I guess we all make it around to the Enneagram eventually. I have to admit that I'm captivated.

I noticed that, when reading through descriptions of the INTP type for the first time, my reaction was "Wow, I'm not alone." Reading descriptions of the Enneagram 5, my reaction was "How did they know? [i.e. about me]" I'm not sure why, but the Enneagram immediately struck me at a more personal, visceral level.

My wife tested as a 2 (interesting, because ISFJs are more commonly 6s, or so I was led to believe). The description of the relationship compatibility between 5s and 2s on the Enneagram Institute page describes how we work, or not, to a "T."

I'm beginning to have more confidence that I can, after all, figure out how to make my wife happy. For a while I had the sense that I just couldn't win; that no matter what I did, I'd just piss off my wife and make her upset. The nature of the puzzle is beginning to reveal itself, however, through counseling, honesty - and now, a bit of the Enneagram.

Btw, understanding our MBTI differences only served to exacerbate conflict.

Interestingly enough, I'm almost totally positive that my wife's INFJ friend (and my erstwhile romantic interest) is a 4, probably sp variant. She's not an artist, but the rest of it definitely rings true. You know you have issues when you read an Enneagram description - which is couched in negative, unflattering terms - and you still go all moony-eyed and soft-hearted. Will I ever let go?

[jyakulis]

Heh yeah I enjoy the personal relationship thing on the enneagram a lot too. Getting consistent results for myself is a different story. I've done many different ones and have gotten 3w4, 5w4, 5w6, plain 5, plain 6. Anyway someone posted a really good test to get your right type and I scored a 5w4 so whatever.

I think the system has some inherent flaws....though I don't know what they are really. The relationship page is quite interesting and describes roughly my current relationship with a 2 quite well.

[cathmc]

I'm not sure why, but the Enneagram immediately struck me at a more personal, visceral level.
I found the same thing. I have been reading a lot about the enneagram over the past year. In fact the reason I recently joined this forum is to re-acquaint myself w/ my MBTI stuff. (And it's clear I'm a rank amateur compared to most posters on this forum!)
For me, the big difference is that the enneagram focuses on internal motivations - i.e. 2 different types may act similarly but for different reasons. This was much more helpful in learning to mitigate some of my negative tendencies. I'm a 9w1 and have finally got a handle on my complete lack of assertiveness, having analysed and understood what I'm trying to gain or avoid by not being assertive (and why it doesn't really work that way). Of course maybe it's also just b/c I'm getting old! :)
Now I'm becoming more interested in the link between the 2. I gather 5 is the more common INTP type, though 9 is not too unusual? In fact they say 9s often initially think they're 5s if they are analytical/intellectual types. (i.e. INTPs!)
Oh yeah and on relationships - I first started reading about the enneagram after a nasty breakup and someone who had studied it mentioned it. I read the description of my type with his type and it was CREEPY. Totally described exactly what was good/bad about our relationship and what sunk it in the end. Don't remember where I read but if you googled 'enneagram relationship matrix' you'd probably find it...

[Last Song]

Hmm it says dork on your avatar. Is that new or has it always been there. (jyakulis)

I've developed a curiousity toward the enneagram too, but the internet seems lacking in information.

[jyakulis]

Hmm it says dork on your avatar. Is that new or has it always been there. (jyakulis)



I honestly don't know :huh:

It's been so long since I put this on here. I guess if I did I should of centered it more on his forehead.

[FishOutOfWater]

The enneagram also struck a more personal chord in me than the myers-briggs test. The mbti, which I discovered first, taught me a great deal about myself and how I interact within the world at large - in particular, learning I was an intuitive in a sensor-dominated world was a wonderful awakening. But learning I was a 5w6 and a social/sexual variant stacking brought me a greater awareness of internal issues I'd always had and a greater motivation for self-improvement. I also enjoy the enneagram because it is so varied and abstract; there are two possible wings, as well as six variant stackings per type/wing combination. And, having met people who are my identical mbti, enneagram, and stacking, I've found that seemingly identical motivations can manifest very differently in different people.

For relationships, I think a combination of these three factors is the best way to assess a possible relationship dymanic. Personally, I'm trying to start a relationship with an apparent 5w4 soc/sx INTP who goes to my college... but we, erm, are both having a hard time getting the ball meeting and actually meeting and making something out of it, even though we clearly like each other a lot. Yes, I'm immediately seeing the pitfalls of two 5s/INTPs attempting to date each other! :blush: Having this knowledge about our personalities at least gives me a tad more patience, lol.

[LuridLemur]

Hmm it says dork on your avatar. Is that new or has it always been there. (jyakulis)

I've developed a curiousity toward the enneagram too, but the internet seems lacking in information.
Weird, I never noticed that.

I haven't done much research into the enneagram yet, but it's like a breath of fresh air from the MBTI (nothing against that though, just reasearched all I need to know for now). I also agree that it struck me as a much more personal assessment. I also found it interesting because there is a large focus on the negative sides of each type, which is largely overlooked in all of the MBTI books/sites I have read.

I still need to reasearch it more before being able to accurately type people, though.

[misutii]

i too found the enneagram struck something more personal, especially because it deals with motivations rather than tendencies, it was just like damn, that's what i want, and it's written down

[cathmc]

By the way, the best enneagram sites I've found are:
http://www.enneagramcentral.com
http://www.enneagraminstitute.com
the second one has what I think are the best tests tho you have to pay for them.

[codeElemental]

Same situation here... both fit me pretty well. My girlfriend, on the other hand, has never been terribly consistent on the mbti scale, (XXFX, with the most common being ENFJ), but she fits the description of a 2 pretty well, and I'll third the notion that the description of a 5 + 2 relationship pretty much sums up the ups and downs of my life at the moment. Odd that that particular pairing came up three times in this thread. I hadn't thought it'd be all that common, really.

[Geek Engineer]

Ditto... I looked at it and took the free test and felt like it was much closer overall to my personality. The 5w6 was strong but so was 9 a close second. Which made more sence because 5w6 fits me pretty well just as INTP, but I do also have issues with wanting to avoid conflicts with people as well.

[waxwing]

Me too. There is an article on Enneagram Central called The Intimate Five: They Make Contact Through Information.

I never have read an article that described me so well.

Before reading this, I wasn't sure how the sexual variant played into the 5w4.

[jyakulis]

Me too. There is an article on Enneagram Central called The Intimate Five: They Make Contact Through Information.

I never have read an article that described me so well.

Before reading this, I wasn't sure how the sexual variant played into the 5w4.

Waxwing i can't find it. Can you put the link on here?

[waxwing]

Sure. Here's the link:

http://www.enneagramcentral.com/eenstudy.htm

To the right of the page, there is a section called "Free Lessons and Essays." If you scroll down (there are many articles) you'll eventually see The Intimate Five. I directed you to the more general page thinking you might be interested in reading some other articles.

[Serotonin]

XLent articles.

I can relate somewhat to the sexual five, nonewhatsoever to the social five and the self-pres five describes my dream lifestyle.

Now confident that my variant stacking in my sig is correct. :)

[Mariel]

which test was that?

[aether]

Ditto... I looked at it and took the free test and felt like it was much closer overall to my personality. The 5w6 was strong but so was 9 a close second. Which made more sence because 5w6 fits me pretty well just as INTP, but I do also have issues with wanting to avoid conflicts with people as well.

I have also been diagnosed as a 5w6. I haven't found out much information on the "6 wing." The 5w6 are usually called "problem solvers" but what else is different? :huh:

[Serotonin]

I have also been diagnosed as a 5w6. I haven't found out much information on the "6 wing." The 5w6 are usually called "problem solvers" but what else is different? :huh:

In a nutshell 5w6=more practical, 5w4=more abstract. Some other enneagram post I go into it in more detail.

[aether]

In a nutshell 5w6=more practical, 5w4=more abstract. Some other enneagram post I go into it in more detail.

I can see that...it correlates with a websites assertion that 5w6's tend to be INTP's and 5w4's tend to be INTJ. Which is backed by socionics' websites description of INTJ versus INTP, declaring the latter is more practical and the former more abstract.

[Serotonin]

But I'm P to the max and still undoubtedly 5w4. Don't get too enamoured with stereotypes....

[aether]

But I'm P to the max and still undoubtedly 5w4. Don't get too enamoured with stereotypes....

What % of P are you?

[Serotonin]

Around 95%

I=75%
N=60%
T=30%

Maybe it's the low T and more-than-usually developed Fi that gives the 4 wing. *shrugs*

[misutii]

Around 95%

I=75%
N=60%
T=30%

Maybe it's the low T and more-than-usually developed Fi that gives the 4 wing. *shrugs*

yeah i would say it's the low T. i'm 4w5 which is abnormal but might have to do with my unhealthy downward spiral, being overly self-absorbed/sentimental and individualistic as a means to finding an end that you know probably doesn't exist, but we try, fail, and try again, while also predominately being aware of what we're missing, what we don't have, and not being happy with what we do have

[waxwing]

I can see that...it correlates with a websites assertion that 5w6's tend to be INTP's and 5w4's tend to be INTJ. Which is backed by socionics' websites description of INTJ versus INTP, declaring the latter is more practical and the former more abstract.
That's a little confusing given Serotonin's last comment. I guess I really don't get the socionics P/J distinction.

I'm not sure what to make of it, but to comment on my P preference, it is near 100%. Every time I've tested it has been from 90-100%. But, again the strength of my preferences might be helpful.

Very strong P and N. Moderate T. Moderate-weak I.

Enneagram 5w4/sx, 9w1 sort of close behind

Hm.

[sbw]

I'm COMPLETELY unfamiliar with the enneagram, so I took the free test...it says I'm a 5...I read the description, sounds right...obviously, I'll be reading/learning some more here...damn you people at INTP.central, always preventing me from working...

Scott