Ambition and Contentment

[md5fungi]

I do not think ambition and contentment are completely exclusive. It does seem apparent, in my own experience, that these two states of mind play a sort of tug-of-war. If one is truly content, they seek nothing more than what they really have. If one is constantly ambitious, their goal involves some sort of change of state, which prevents contentment from being permanently attained.

The major question I have been asking myself over and over is how much of each of these things do I want. I could choose to devote every ounce of energy I have to a certain discipline or art, but based upon my experiences this tends to keep me on edge, frustrated, turns me into an annoying perfectionist and sometimes leads to depression.

There is also the route where I fulfill my immediate needs and hedonism, without a care for what I could achieve. I wonder if I would feel guilty living a life like this. But as I stated myself, these states play a sort of tug-of-war. I wonder what sort of balance can really be achieved.

Opinions about this? Does one prevail over the other for you? What is really important; what will make you happier?

[elfsprin]

i'm curious: do you remember when you first embraced any sort of substantial ambition? do you remember why you did so, or have any thoughts about whether it was 'natural' to your person to be with or without ambition? an anecdote would be just as welcome as an analysis for the reply- whatever is most effective.

i ask because i personally do remember these things, and often wonder about whether others with whom i share personality aspects have a similar history with respect to ambition.

[md5fungi]

The first time I recall having any substantial ambition was when I was in the kindergarten/first grade age and I started writing fiction recreationally. I was only 6 or 7, probably, and I'm not sure why I did it, but I wrote all the time, spurred on by no instructor, only inspired by the few books I had read at that point.

The second time was when I started to play the cello. I started playing because I had heard a cello at my elementary school and I liked the sound. I practiced because I liked it, succeeded as much as a beginner really can, practiced more, repeat, etc.

Most of the things I really enjoy that pose some sort of significant challenge I am ambitious towards, and at first it feels very natural, though later this feeling can change to one of obligation and burden.

Sometimes it feels good to just say "fuck it all", stop trying to climb the ladder of ambition, and do things that really don't further my goals in any sort of way (socializing, drinking, reading comics, playing video games, etc.)

It is hard to predict what I will regret; that is the main issue I will encounter balancing ambition or contentment. Measuring future worth of said ambition. Difficult.

[composer]

Sounds like the Ne-Ti duality axis (see the Profile) The dominant Ti core tends to assume the role of a controller and organiser of his life, while the Ne behaves like a free spirit ...

[Shadowlogical]

The feel of experience leads to ambition.
Your thoughts and ideas lead to contentment.

For example:

You experience something and feel empowered or happy. Ambition. When you fail, you think. You get miserable. That sends your N reeling. An idea is created. You make a cozy little nest in that idea.

SO... to be balanced.. you would have to be unproductive boring and impractical. You would trudge along at the same pace for the rest of your life. Think of Sisyphus. No waves mean no life. If you want to be balanced then kill yourself. Then again, you may just be teleported to an even more wavier place. Who knows. I'm betting the latter.
So my advice to you is learn to surf.

By the way, balance is nigh impossible and unheard of. That is excluding robots in science fiction.
Make peace with your fluctuating mind. Do not box it in. Revel in other's hate. Cast aside admiration. See what happens. Destroy it and rebuild it. Is life really that big of a deal? Is it? Tell me why. Any goal other than death is 2 dimensional. Literally. Venture outside the square. But I really really digress.