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Claverhouse
20 Jul 2004, 12:35 AM
Hi,

The urging having worked ( 'Blackmail is an ugly word, my dear', hissing like Peter Lorre ), I enclose the promised link. And obviously, you may not like it...

213 Things Skippy Can't Do -- The List (http://www.skippyslist.com/)

Skippy's List is back: dates from the olden times of the last lot of Balkan Wars, and some of us find it funny.

44. I am not the atheist chaplain.

54. “Napalm sticks to kids” is *not* a motivational phrase.

57. The proper response to a lawful order is not “Why?”

79. I am neither the king nor queen of cheese.

149. Must not create new DOD forms, then insist they be filled out.

188. May not challenge officers to “Meet me on the field of honor, at dawn”.


Actually, the Sven Hassel group I got this from in an email also had another small list added by one of their members from real US Army manuals:


"Aim towards the Enemy." - Instruction printed on U.S. Rocket
Launcher

"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend." - U.S.
Army

"Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are
guaranteed to always hit the ground." - U.S.A.F. Ammo Troop

"If the enemy is in range, so are you." - Infantry Journal

"A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you
least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left
of your unit." - Army's magazine of preventive maintenance

"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you
just bombed." - U.S. Air Force Manual

"Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo." - Infantry
Journal

"Tracers work both ways." - U.S. Army Ordnance

"Five-second fuses only last three seconds." - Infantry Journal

"Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid." - Col.
David Hackworth

"If your attack is going too well, you're probably walking into an
ambush." - Infantry Journal

"No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection." - Joe Gay

"Any ship can be a minesweeper ... once." - Anonymous

"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do." - Unknown
Army Recruit

"Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you." - Your
Buddies

"If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him." -
U.S. Ammo Troop


Might as well include it. You can check out 'About Skippy' to see why he did it. It gives me a faintly higher opinion of the US Army, which like most non-Americans, never exactly reaches even moderate low. :D :rofl:



Claverhouse :ph34r:

Miss Padfoot
20 Jul 2004, 03:10 AM
:rofl:

That's priceless. My favorites:
8. Not allowed to add pictures of officers I don't like to War Criminal posters.
17. God may not contradict any of my orders.
29. The Irish MPs are not after “Me frosted lucky charms”.
51. Not allowed to quote “Dr Seuss” on military operations.
(I would be the one doing that.)
63. Command decisions do *not* need to be ratified by a 2/3 majority.
93. Nerve gas is not funny.
115. I should not speculate on the penis size of anyone who outranks me.
129. The Microsoft ® “Dancing Paperclip” is not authorized to countermand any orders.
142. “Calvin-Ball” is not authorized PT.
(I love that one.)
147. I should not threaten suicide with pop rocks and Coke ®.
165. I do not get “that time of month”.
190. Must not make s'mores while on guard duty.
204. NEVER nail a stuffed bunny to a cross and put it up in front of the Battalion Headquarters sign as an "Easter Desecration."
206. Not allowed to get shot.Okay, I know I listed about half of them. But they're funny.