Afghanistan + $1,000,000,000,000 = ?

[Flatchett]

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/14/world/asia/14minerals.html?hp=&pagewanted=all

WASHINGTON — The United States has discovered nearly $1 trillion in untapped mineral deposits in Afghanistan, far beyond any previously known reserves and enough to fundamentally alter the Afghan economy and perhaps the Afghan war itself, according to senior American government officials.

The previously unknown deposits — including huge veins of iron, copper, cobalt, gold and critical industrial metals like lithium — are so big and include so many minerals that are essential to modern industry that Afghanistan could eventually be transformed into one of the most important mining centers in the world, the United States officials believe.

What. The. Hell.

[stuck]

oh that should sort things out then

[!diom]

Finally, our 51st state.

At least until we mine the fuck out of it.

[Qfwfq]

Holy shit, that's an enormous deposit. And really, they just found it eh? What a delightful coincidence!

[Flatchett]

Apparently, the Soviets discovered some in the 80s, but never did anything about it, then the US found their maps after they invaded, then they did some surveys which were ignored, then just recently someone decided, "Oh, a shit-ton of minerals might actually be kinda important."

[Hermione]

Oh, yes. I'm certain they didn't already know this. Right.

Always believe the reverse of what you read, especially if it is in any way political or about teh nazi type of governments such as the regime that took over here under 'W'. It's still basically all still in power. He is laughing his little evil self all the way down to teh bank, too. The bad guys generally win. Not always though...

[!diom]

Finally, our 51st state.

At least until we mine the fuck out of it.

Nevermind. It wouldn't work out. Having to pay Afghan workers minimum wage would cut into our profits. Also, I can't see the University of Afghanistan at Kabul fitting into the NCAA -- the travel times would be outrageous.

Looks like we're just gonna rape you and dare you to say something about it.

[barrylevon]

Wow! What an amazing coincidence. The guy who blew up the trade center towers was in Afghanistan. Al Queda, Taliban, and now there's all these mineral deposits there too. Talk about your lucky strike.

Afghanistan = fucked

[Neville]

The bad guys generally win, too.

Please, we work hard for our victories.

[MadamI'madaM]

Look on the bright side, at least it might make sense now.

[Qfwfq]

Look on the bright side, at least it might make sense now.

Right, that crossed my mind too- one less geopolitical shit storm to decipher before elections.

[Madrigal]

I wrote this in an analysis 8 years ago, they should've asked me. :rolleyes2:

[avolkiteshvara]

Maybe now we can payoff Karzi with Afghanistan gold rather than US Dollars.

[NoahFence]

News? Bullshit. This is why Enron and a half-dozen other megacorps were crawling all over the region before 9/11.


Nevermind. It wouldn't work out. Having to pay Afghan workers minimum wage would cut into our profits.

Ahh, but it's Afghan minimum wage. Also no workers comp or unemployment bennies. Child labor law enforcement may also take back burner for some time to come.

Afghanistan is fated to be...

...the new Mexico...

[Icolic]

Sweet, just what we need, another third world country to pillage and rape. Luckily we already have our long **expletive** so far stuck up their **expletive** that it won't hurt so bad.

[Ferrus]

No oil or gas though. So it doesn't really matter in the long scheme of things.

[Icolic]

Afghanistan is fated to be...

...the new Mexico...

WHOOO! Spring break Kabul! Finally be able to get the female situation better over here.

[NoahFence]

No oil or gas though. So it doesn't really matter in the long scheme of things.

LITHIUM!!!! And with a lode like that there's bound to be assloads of gallium, indium, cadmium...all the things a growing photovoltaic needs to be strong and healthy. Why you think Enron had such a Hardon for the place? Not to mention molybdenum....Africa is FAST running out of this, which is required for (among other things) cellphones.

[Ferrus]

LITHIUM!!!! And with a lode like that there's bound to be assloads of gallium, indium, cadmium...all the things a growing photovoltaic needs to be strong and healthy. Not to mention molybdenum....Africa is FAST running out of this, which is required for (among other things) cellphones.
Yeah I know but when all your miners have starved after industrial agriculture has failed and all the mining equipment doesn't have enough energy to run, the lithium becomes a moot element.

[NoahFence]

Yeah I know but when all your miners have starved after industrial agriculture has failed and all the mining equipment doesn't have enough energy to run, the lithium becomes a moot element.

If, by raping Afghanistan, we can make all that equipment solar powered with honkin' badass batteries...then it becomes Autorape. Huh...solar powered bulldozers are Concave and convex. Who knew?

[Ferrus]

Harvesting that amount of solar energy would take:

a) a Stalinist government, enslaving a significant proportion of the population into a single project

and

b) Shit loads more lithium than is being suggested.

Oh and turning the entire Sahara desert into a big colony.

[NoahFence]

Harvesting that amount of solar energy would take:

a) a Stalinist government, enslaving a significant proportion of the population into a single project

and

b) Shit loads more lithium than is being suggested.

Oh and turning the entire Sahara desert into a big colony.

Sounds like things are proceeding on course, then.

[fripping]

wow look at all this awesome stuff in this country we invaded and occupied how unexpected and lucky for us! i just can't believe america's luck!! lucky ducks!!!

[Gchrist]

*sticks jaw out*

"What you gonn' do 'bout it?"

[Oso Mocoso]

a) a Stalinist government, enslaving a significant proportion of the population into a single project.

I wonder if Karl knows about this? He should send them his resume.

[stuck]

You guys are so cynical. All that human sadness, forced labor, starvation, bombing PTSD, that will all fade away once we flood the country with Paro therapy seals, powered with real afghani lithium.


flood the country with Paro therapy seals, hearts
powered with real afghani lithium. and minds