INTP Parents

[int]

I honestly believe the following is nothing compared to what is going to happen:

I am an emotional disaster, and the kid isn't due until Feb. When I'm with my wife, I'm resorting to this strong-willed, even tempered, dutiful male who is a backbone to the family structure.

After 5 minutes alone I'm practically in tears, wondering if I'm really going to be able to pull this off.

But I'm excited the entire time and am honestly looking forward to this.

Work has me on the road a lot though, so much of what I'm feeling is guilt. Still, the old saying "Home is where the heart is" keeps popping into my head and I'm beginning to understand it. As long as she's with me I don't care where I am - and it's overwhelming me at times, in a good way.

I'm just wondering what to look for next...sure, I can read more "father books" but I've found half the time I can't really relate to the author(s)and I'm wondering if anyone here can at least guide me down a path I can relate to. What's next???

Anyways, someone once said that this forum was akin to a support group, so I come into this topic with that in mind. I think I could really use some guidance. Which isn't easy for me to ask so I appreciate any responses.


Cheers.

[Melody]

I envy you. I imagine if I had a child, I would have a reason to live and become manytimes resolved.

[int]

Thanks. That means a lot.

Many things have resolved, but at the same time I've entered a different mindset. It's not really weird, as I welcome the experience, but it's different. I have a hard time putting it into words.

[Crazy]

I have a 3 1/2 year old. Kids are great. play with them, talk to them, they are much smarter than most give them credit for, and are very resilient. All you have to do is love them, they will be fine if you do that. Don't be afraid to discipline your child, they need it, and you are responsible to give it to them, they won't hate you for it, they will be better for it. Just make sure the punishment fits the crime. Most of the time, they are better than adults.

[Vagabond]

Int... you will be a wonderful parent and I am willing to bet serious money on that :D Just follow your insticts. I think you are the right parental material and the fact that you worry so much about it only proves it. And I am not known for giving compliments, you are just more balanced and responsible than most people I know. So shut up :D and enjoy it. If you can't do it, nobody can. :smooch:

Oh, and no book can tell you what to do; you have to trust your own judgement.

[MacGuffin]

I am not a parent yet (unless you count our dog). But I think it is best not to stress yourself out. Humans have been doing this for centuries. You will hear/read all kinds of advice. Probably overwhelming. Just follow your instincts. Don't worry that any little thing will mess up your child. Just keep them safe and loved.

[int]

Thanks for the kick in the ass guys. I needed it :)

The stress is definately a result of my own psychosis. But I welcome it as I know it's something worth worrying about.

Still, I desire to rise above normalcy as I am a bit of a contrarian (although I could be more of one), and it's been tough to figure out how to convey what's happening in my life to others. Hopefully the kid will just see it and follow along, as he/she won't know otherwise.

Plus, my father was often unavailable (although I am now understanding why, and have 100000000000+ times more respect for him than I ever had) so I overextend myself at times.

Heh. Tonight my wife was telling a story as I sat a few feet away. And for the first time in a while she brought me to my knees because I was laughing so hard - as was the rest of the audience. For 10 minutes I was the happiest person on the planet --- who'da thunk?

It's weird. Last night when I posted this thread I was pretty far reaching and desperate - and today I'm on cloud nine and more in love than I've ever been. What a trip. :)

<edit> But I'm still welcoming advice. </edit>