What makes a person mature?

[purple13]

I have known couples that were married for several years, had a few kids, and still are not very responsible. Isn't responsibility a pretty big factor of maturity? This would indicate that age or experience alone does not necessarily make a person mature.

What are your thoughts?

[Shai Gar]

no it isnt

the ability to see the world from anothers point of view, and to be able to think creatively and logically about any given situation, the understanding that we are all unique individuals who often strive for sameness, that most people are scared and act out of fear and with that knowledge we must never hold a persons actions against them we must help and pity them. and the mind is the most powerful thing in the universe, all a person truly needs to survive is the desire to.

and a few more

[Lee]

Cheese.

[Serotonin]

To be honest, I think Shai Gar is finally maturing with that last post.
(and I realise that this is a red rag for him to start posting about bukkake... or something)

[J.L. des Alpins]

Isn't responsibility a pretty big factor of maturity?Responsibility is not a precursor of maturity but one of its results.

One has reached maturity of mind when he becomes aware of his total and irrevocable freedom, and expresses this freedom unspoiled by bad faith.

Sartre defines 'bad faith' essentially as the individual consciousness appropriating a false notion of self.

Manifestations of bad faith are as common as stars in the sky: Does a wife love her husband or just want to believe she does? Does a couple conceive a child by choice or from social pressure? Is a doctor a physician by vocation or because of family expectations? Does a priest believe in God or is instead afraid of a world without God? Is a man drinking to much because of a physiological deficiency or because he refuses to muster the courage to see his environment with clear eyes?

My opinion is that maturity is to cleanse your mind from false notions of your self and to accept yourself exactly as you are. For anyone, this can happen early in life, later in life, or never in one's lifetime.

[SheepDog]

I had to deal with a lot at a young age, as a result of my home situation. I think it definitely taught me maturity. I was also taught to be responsible for my own actions and had to deal with real consequences to my behavior.

I've often been told that I was mature for my age, and I think that is a big part of it.

[waxwing]

I have known couples that were married for several years, had a few kids, and still are not very responsible. Isn't responsibility a pretty big factor of maturity? This would indicate that age or experience alone does not necessarily make a person mature.

What are your thoughts?
A person can be "responsible" by some code of acceptable behavioral, but never learn to think for herself. Parents can feel they are being responsible, but lack the flexibility to be responsive to an individual child's needs. I hate the idea of This is responsible v. This is irresponsible. To me, it seems irresponsible and immature to not realize that "responsibility", as the term is often used, is variable. In my opinion, it's not some unbending goal to aim for -- its completion marked by certain "responsible/mature" behaviors, all subjectively interpreted/judged.

I don't really know what responsibility or maturity looks like as a general rule. Somehow I think it has to do with revision and openness to change and criticism though. The growth/self-actualization process makes more sense to me than talking about reaching a level of maturity or responsibility. So when I'm "responsible," do I get a prize? The mark of maturity pinned to my brow? Oh, goodie. Can't wait.

[Shai Gar]

To be honest, I think Shai Gar is finally maturing with that last post.
(and I realise that this is a red rag for him to start posting about bukkake... or something)
bitch fuck you, i have been mature for a good many years, since i was at least 16, prolly 15 i started, but the difference between normal posts and that one is that in that one i was honest and serious

[Serotonin]

bitch fuck you, i have been mature for a good many years, since i was at least 16, prolly 15 i started, but the difference between normal posts and that one is that in that one i was honest and serious

:) New sig fodder.

[Shai Gar]

lol

[zeitgeist]

My opinion is that maturity is to cleanse your mind from false notions of your self and to accept yourself exactly as you are. For anyone, this can happen early in life, later in life, or never in one's lifetime.

I think that's it. Good articulation.

[philonightmare]

When they are open to new ways of thinking, beliefs, etc. A person who admits when they are wrong, or is willing to consider that they might be, is one I find deserving of the title Mature. However, this must be sincere, otherwise, they are no wiser than a child playing a cruel joke.

[SensEye]

I would define maturity as simply being able to analyze the consequences of your actions and doing what you know to be right, even if this requires putting off immediate gratification or performing laborious chores in order to acheive a desireable outcome. Or at the very least, if you choose the unwise course, you accept the consequences and don't blame it on bad luck or somebody else. I guess this is often termed being responsible.

Kids, generally considered immature, often fail to consider the consequences of their actions and go for immediate gratification. They often go to any extent to avoid chores as well. This is natural, as they lack experience with negative outcomes, and it is the job of the parents to provide guidance until the kids learn. However, for some this never happens.

[ApeTheDog]

Some people say smart things but don't mean them - they're smart but immature. Some people say stupid things but do mean then, they are stupid but mature. I think a lot that makes up maturity is how honest you are to yourself.

Also, I think having a personality is important for a mature person. It means you can't be influenced by what others think is cool or smart or interesting - you know what is best for yourself, and do it - regardless of others. That, too, is maturity.

And then there is the amount of choices you make, and the amount of routine you have in your life. Sadly, I think that too is an important trick in being mature. The less choices you have to make, the less potential there is for you to make the wrong one. Thus, the more routine you have, the more mature you'll appear. It's a shortcut, and this is most evident when people who always act sensible suddently start crying when something happens they've never encountered before. They're not mature at all - they just have a strong mature routine built up they always follow - one that is based on a hit and miss approach.

Recognising you're not perfect, and shouldn't always try to appear thusly, is also important. Being able to accept your mistakes, and learning from them, is how you become more mature. (Hmm. You have to build the routine I spoke of in the last paragraph, I suppose, hit and miss-wise. And learning when you've failed means you're going to try a different, and potentially better approach next time until you've finally hit upon the right one. I guess we mature most through evolution of our thoughts, and not very much emotionally - except for those few like myself and probably other INTP's who are really keen on decreasing the influence of our own emotions)