How to be a happier 4?

[BAJ]

I'm really new to the enneagram, though I've been a fan of the MBTI since 1990.

Being such an EMO Enneagram 4, what do you suggest as my redemption?

According to most tests I'm 4 with a 5 wing. The test results below are from similar minds. I'm a bit confused since for a moment there I thought I was 4w6, since 6 was the second highest. Apparently 469 is my triad or perhaps 4w5 6w5 9w1. I'm guessing the wings of the triad based on the test results below, but I'm unclear if this is correct.

I'm trying to read about Enneagram types and triads, and how to improve my happiness. Could you help in clarification of theory and how I could use this for improvement of well-being given my results? If not could you refer me to threads, materials or books that would be the most helpful?



4 50 I must be unique/different to be happy.
6 41 I must be secure and safe to be happy.

9 36 I must maintian a peaceful and easygoing environment to be happy.
2 30 I must be helpful and caring to be happy.
3 26 I must be impressive and attractive to be happy.
5 26 I must be knowledgable and independent to be happy.
1 25 I must be perfect and good to be happy.
7 17 I must be fun and entertained to be happy.
8 13 I must be strong and in control to be happy.

[BAJ]

I just took a longer, 185 question test, and got 459 instead.

[kali]

http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/TypeFourOverview.asp

Do you identify with that?
I read it, I thought I was reading my biography...

Anyway, have you got any artistic pursuits you can direct your energy into?

I think 4s have a preoccupation with avoiding failure rather than achieving success, so... maybe be less concerned with your faults and focus on your strong points.

Healthy 4s are like this:


Level 1 (At Their Best): Profoundly creative, expressing the personal and the universal, possibly in a work of art. Inspired, self-renewing and regenerating: able to transform all their experiences into something valuable: self-creative.

Level 2: Self-aware, introspective, on the "search for self," aware of feelings and inner impulses. Sensitive and intuitive both to self and others: gentle, tactful, compassionate.

Level 3: Highly personal, individualistic, "true to self." Self-revealing, emotionally honest, humane. Ironic view of self and life: can be serious and funny, vulnerable and emotionally strong.

That's what I aim for.

[!diom]

I'm a 4. Just wanted to say that.

I think what you go through in life can repress or at least delay the development of your natural self by forcing you to develop in other ways that you may or may not want. This seems to be going on in my case. My therapist called it "survival mode".

[BAJ]

http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/TypeFourOverview.asp

Do you identify with that?
I read it, I thought I was reading my biography...

Anyway, have you got any artistic pursuits you can direct your energy into?

I think 4s have a preoccupation with avoiding failure rather than achieving success, so... maybe be less concerned with your faults and focus on your strong points.

Healthy 4s are like this:


Level 1 (At Their Best): Profoundly creative, expressing the personal and the universal, possibly in a work of art. Inspired, self-renewing and regenerating: able to transform all their experiences into something valuable: self-creative.

Level 2: Self-aware, introspective, on the "search for self," aware of feelings and inner impulses. Sensitive and intuitive both to self and others: gentle, tactful, compassionate.

Level 3: Highly personal, individualistic, "true to self." Self-revealing, emotionally honest, humane. Ironic view of self and life: can be serious and funny, vulnerable and emotionally strong.

That's what I aim for.


Thank yous. I read through it now, and yes strong identification.

It's just a question if I can either "fake it until it becomes real" or hang on until happiness is more manifest, or whether I'll die of it. Given a shovel, the impulse is to dig, and withdraw deeper into myself, which may be like a frog slow boiling and luxuriating the stove pot.

Somehow I must do both, embrace the reflection, sinking the roots very deep, and simultaneously bloom out into the air, and if the bloom is scorched, bloom again irrepessible.



I'm a 4. Just wanted to say that.

I think what you go through in life can repress or at least delay the development of your natural self by forcing you to develop in other ways that you may or may not want. This seems to be going on in my case. My therapist called it "survival mode".

This sounds good. I wish I could cousel myself at a younger age. If were able to suck this up, then I'd be much more successful. For example, I had military scholarships, which if I were able to cram myself into that mold, I'd be officer level in life whether I stayed in the military or not.

But having a kind of oil and water reaction at 18, now I must cobble together such a certificate of adulthood from other sources. Yet at 40, I don't feel like I've completely passed those rituals.

I wish you the best luck to gathering this to yourself at your younger age, and then later unfurl your 4 type wings from a better position of security.

[pan_sonic_000]

"When Fours feel more secure about themselves, they surrender their quest for a fantastical life and their preoccupation with what could have been and become more rooted in, and appreciative of, what is happening in the immediate present — right here, right now."

Also, volunteer work helps. Anything that focuses on others and less on yourself. That's probably good advice for anyone, though.

[ObtainGnosis]

I just took a longer, 185 question test, and got 459 instead.

4, 5, and 9 are all the "withdrawn types." So its common you would test high in all of them. I do also. You're probably not a 9, just a mix of 5 and 4.

[TheNoirAesthetic]

I feel like a lot of INxP's are 4's. I tested 4 the first time I took the Enneagram as well. (I say first, because I took it like 10 times)
I tend to oscillate on the 4/5 split as well as on the T/F split for the MBTI though. Is that true for other INxP's?

[BAJ]

Eh, it is apparent, maybe that I'm a type 9. A few people have recently told me so. So perhaps I need to make a similar thread about type 9's somewhere.

On the biggest test, like 183 questions, it was 4> 5> 6> 9, but I wouldn't put it as impossible that I skewed the test. Reading some type 9 description, I can see myself.

[god and friends]

I'm 4. healthy 4s still sound mythical to me.

[BAJ]

I'm 4. healthy 4s still sound mythical to me.


I just watched a bunch of videos on 4's and 9's, and I think I'm definitely 4.

Anyway, one thing is to be aware of patterns and realize I'm doing it. For example, if I'm making a bunch of drama about stories or fictions I've created in my head, just drop it.