I hate being nice!!!!!!!!

[ohnoaninfp]

I am told that I am a very nice person. But I keep attracting people who use me, lie to me and treat me bad. God I hate people!!!!!!!!! I see girls who have a nice boyfriend, who they treat like shit. If I am so fucking nice then why don't I have anyone? Why do I keep attracting assholes?.

[Laeskis]

Assholes like the nice types because it equivocates (in their mind) with weakness. An asshole knows that someone who isn't weak won't put up with them for long.

[Arioch]

Maybe your not blond?

In which case keep it that way. Anyone you catch by bleaching your hair is probably like some baby fish you catch while fishing. Too small and they must be thrown back

Interpret that last sentence as you will

[flan2dave]

It depends on the environment. For example, "niceness" would be smothered out in a "bad" neighborhood, any place that's impoverished basically. I don't know if that is the case for you. Maybe more at home with your experience is the wolf mentality, where many people have an eye out for prey (it appears to be a lot because the negativity stands out). I see this on some message boards, where people are defensive and ready to call each other idiots given the chance. The atmosphere can be stifling, even if there aren't too many that actually behave this way, but again, negativity stands out. Usually though, there are more people that appreciate those such as yourself more than you might realize.

[Avengardh]

I am told that I am a very nice person. But I keep attracting people who use me, lie to me and treat me bad. God I hate people!!!!!!!!! I see girls who have a nice boyfriend, who they treat like shit. If I am so fucking nice then why don't I have anyone? Why do I keep attracting assholes?.

This is coming from someone who has been called the same...not with the "very", but nice.

I made that go away by being not as trustworthy, I have a lot of trust issues, I test people to see if they are worth my time or not. It might sound cold, but it's one way to weed out the ones that are really just looking to screw you over, usually they leave me alone.

However, I am still nice and genuily care about people, strangers too. I decided not to repress that side of me because it only hurts me in the end. I am just overly cautious and very private, people know me as nice, they just don't know about my life in detail.

I am not too sure that helps at all, but I hope some of it does.

~*Aven*~

[int]

I was flipping through my hs yearbooks a few months ago and noticed I was called "sweetie" a lot, so it could be worse. Some of my friends still make fun of me for that...

[file cabinet]

I hate being called "cute" because to me that just means I'm not masculine enough so being called "cute" is the only way they can say they're not interested in me but still remain a friendly human being but since no females speak to me regularly except for a few lost souls on the internet it's all quite irrelevant. I figure I'll find someone in my 30's because right now relationships are considered fun and games.

[Johnny]

You may actually be lucky to be dealing with this issue, ohnoaninfp. It's important to find out who you are, to learn to pay attention to clues and signs that another person may not be what he/she seems and not fear asking that person the nagging questions, and to set your boundaries.

Not that I have any answers that sews up your issue here permanantly. Life still gets to be a journey. :sombrero:

[ohnoaninfp]

I am just really pissed off. People who I put my trust into have turned out to be nothing but spoiled, selfish, liars!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My best friend! She does nothing but lie to me! (I am not talking about my cat this time.) She only calls when she wants something. I am trying not to talk to her any more. I had it with her and her dumb fiancee' !

[Vagabond]

If she does nothing but lie to you and call you only when she needs something from you, then she is obviously not a friend. Let alone a 'best' friend.

[last_caress]

Human social dynamics = animal social dynamics with a little frosting on top.

I find that there is a lot of truth in this quote I found, "The world takes you at your own estimation."

Anybody who disrespects you, FIRED.

[Laeskis]

Gah, if the world took me at my own estimation....
Well, that's just too scary to utter.

[last_caress]

Gah, if the world took me at my own estimation....
Well, that's just too scary to utter.

Estimate higher.
There are approximately 6 billion other people. That means 6 billion estimations.
Who's reality is more important to you anyway?

It's the power of shared illusion.
If you begin to carry yourself like you are of high value, others will begin to believe it also and treat you as such.
And hopefully you will too.
I don't think most people are aware of nor realize how powerful of a concept this is.
I think Neo seeing the matrix as it really was for the first time is a perfect metaphor.
The transformation is NOT easy and takes alot of personal work to break down a brutal lower caste conditioning.

The "value" of a dollar changes daily, not because of any physical change in the bank notes in wallets around the country, but BECAUSE SOMEONE ELSE SAID IT DID.

Those of us who were not born kings, may become so by concerted force of will.

[Laeskis]

In my reality I'm already the head of the table; the ultimate authority.
Everything I do is by my own choice; dictated by my own action. (or lack thereof)

I can't estimate any higher;
If the world took me at my own estimation;
I'd be....well....
Raw Power.
And that is very scary.

[Star Cannon]

They are nothing but idiots unworithy your attention and worthy of the consquences of their actions. Let'em have it. That's what I do. If someone I know tries to screw me over, and I find out about it, they're gone. Fired. Tossed overboard. I don't have the inclination or the willingness to put up with those sorts of people gently.

[EternalCynic]

I used to be kind of like that when I was younger (mostly it was because I didnt know who I was and wanted to be accepted, or at least acknowledged a little, so people walked all over me) you just need to teach yourself to say no and not let people use you, otherwise.. well.. it just sucks. ..Yeah. :blink:

[Laeskis]

Assume yourself as lord of your world (which you are)
Think about it...anything that happens to you; anything you do or others do to you can always be traced to an action that you undertook ( or didn't undertake)-even if you get mugged, you can understand that you chose to be in that place (maybe not to get mugged..) but nonetheless it was a result of your choice.
You control everything about your world, you are either god of your world or one step under (dependant on belief.)
(unfortunately, you can't be lord of all things...microbes will still get on ya no matter what)

The trick in this Idea is that you can't always see the furthest consequence of your actions.

It's really good practice to stretch the limits of your vision, as far forward as you possibly can, as it helps to keep your world under control.
If you're sharp enough, you can watch a butterfly flap it's wings in Japan, and tell the people in Florida to pack up because a hurricane's coming.