Div's Juke Joint

[Division56]

That personal thread page is far too crowded, so I'm setting up my lounge in here.

*drags in club chairs*

*arranges stimulating yet clever ashtrays*

Ah yes, now that's better.


Now there will be thought provoking discussion and much wit.

[MacGuffin]

Where's the drinks?

[kendoiwan]

hey is this just a cheap knock off of K's Lounge? And didn't he have to move his to Blogs... Admins....

[Division56]

It's a cheap rip off of a woman I knew two years ago.

I contain multitudes, bitch! *knocks off Mac's signature*

[s]

*Behind a smoke veil, s motions towards Kendoiwan...*

*security guards move towards him*

*music is turned up louder*

[kendoiwan]

*Behind a smoke veil, s motions towards Kendoiwan...*

*security guards move towards him*

*music is turned up louder*


*Get your hands off of me... See now I gots to cut ya...*

[MacGuffin]

Why can't we dance and drink and have good time? Why must it always end in a knife fight?

[panda]

Why can't we dance and drink and have good time? Why must it always end in a knife fight?
Human nature.

[s]

*Get your hands off of me... See now I gots to cut ya...*


You should never bring a knife to a gun fight...

[wicked laughter]

[sips slightly chilled scotch]

[Claverhouse]

Once upon a time, there was a tavern, where we used to raise a glass or two.
Remember how we laughed away the hours, think of all the great things we would do. Those were the days, my friend, we thought they'd never end, we'd sing and dance forever and a day: we'd live the life we'd choose, we'd fight and never lose: for we were young and sure to have our way.



Claverhouse :ph34r:

[kendoiwan]

You should never bring a knife to a gun fight...

[wicked laughter]

[sips slightly chilled scotch]


See div I was trying NOT to shoot up your spot but if S insists we can get gansta up in this bitch!!!! Scoops up the Chopper...OKAY I'M RELOADED....

[Division56]

See div I was trying NOT to shoot up your spot but if S insists we can get gansta up in this bitch!!!! Scoops up the Chopper...OKAY I'M RELOADED....

She's my cousin.

*tips hat*


This here's a family joint.

*goes to get the buryin' shovel*

[s]

See div I was trying NOT to shoot up your spot but if S insists we can get gansta up in this bitch!!!! Scoops up the Chopper...OKAY I'M RELOADED....


Isn't it cute that the corpse thinks the fight isn't over?


Oh good, The Wolf is here at last.

*raises glass at Claver*

Good times, ol' boy.

[kendoiwan]

She's my cousin.

*tips hat*


This here's a family joint.

*goes to get the buryin' shovel*


*Oh so I gotta take out the two of ya... * *thanks for the shovel, I won't need it as I let the cops clean up the mess*

[MacGuffin]

When does The Knifer show up?

[kendoiwan]

*Oh so I gotta take out the two of ya... * *thanks for the shovel, I won't need it as I let the cops clean up the mess*


*changes his mind...* *It's your joint div* *quietly leaves after firing a few rounds*

[panda]

*enigmacrypt prances around in a pink tutu to confuse everyone*

[Division56]

When does The Knifer show up? A wolf in the wind.
Her pack numbers few,
with giggles like shrews.
Holder of the knife.
There will only be one.

[s]

*s orders another round for the table*

[Division56]

*s orders another round for the table*

The Mother Fuckin' Queen,
they call her.
Underworld crime-lord?
Fierce huntress?
Aristocrat by nature.
All shall fall,
by her ice white hand.

[MacGuffin]

Work time is over
No time for a haiku war
Baseball game awaits

[Division56]

Work time is over
No time for a haiku war
Baseball game awaits
Wear the tight pants,
with a cute ass and a smile.
Outdrink the brits,
for great glory.
The hat is so cute.
I poke you in the ribs.

[Claverhouse]

*smiles at s*


Claverhouse :ph34r:

[s]

Work time is over
No time for a haiku war
Baseball game awaits


80 proof spirits
on a sith lord's baited breath
he teeters about

thinking on the mound
everyone awaits the pitch
he smirks mid-tangent

[Avengardh]

A wolf in the wind.
Her pack numbers few,
with giggles like shrews.
Holder of the knife.
There will only be one.
I have arrived...mmm...knives....

[s]

I have arrived...mmm...knives....

At last! Have a seat... relax, my noble friend.


*nods at Claver and conceals a blush*

It has been a while, friends, eh?

[Avengardh]

Tell me this party has Sangría....

Please??? :x

[s]

Tell me this party has Sangría....

Please??? :x


Garson! A pitcher for the lady!

[MacGuffin]

Tell me this party has Sangría....

Please??? :xOooh a week from yesterday and I will be drinking half priced pitchers of it...

[Mr Pink]

*Sneaks in, avoiding everyone, sets himself up at the darkest corner table, orders a whisky on the nothing and tries to enjoy the soothing lounge jazz coming from the stage while INTPs around him are making noises (the bastards)*

[s]

*Sneaks in, avoiding everyone, sets himself up at the darkest corner table, orders a whisky on the nothing and tries to enjoy the soothing lounge jazz coming from the stage while INTPs around him are making noises (the bastards)*


Fine, but when it comes to tipping the servers, I don't wanna hear the whole "I don't believe in it" shite.

[MacGuffin]

Nationals won game
Thousands crowd onto Metro
Al-qaeda silent

[MacGuffin]

I limped into Div's late. Very late. Almost morning. The place was nearly empty. Just a few lost souls drifting in the back.

I sat at the end of the bar, where I could keep my eye on the door. Div himself was tending bar. He barely paid attention to me. Kept mumbling about some guy in the big city.

I asked for a scotch on the rocks. The air was still hot and oppressive. Normally I'd ask for a gin & tonic, but this night called for whiskey.

s staggered in about then. Her slip was showing and her hair was tousled, like she'd spent the night in bed but not sleeping. Typical.

She weaved through the tables and went on back. I don't think she saw me. Probably had a run-in with the rascal kendoiwan.

The fan lazily circulated the hot air. The sun peeked over the horizon. I was dead tired and had lost a fair amount of blood. But I nursed my scotch and kept an eye on the door. Aven the Knifer was lurking somewhere...

[Avengardh]

Brings tears to my eyes...to watch him there, just sitting.
Of course, if I had tear ducts.

I think he expects me to go into action...all I am doing right now...is staring at the ceiling...and...the bartender...rawr.

[MacGuffin]

My eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness. There... in the darkest corner...

THE KNIFER!

She had been here the entire time!

I looked over to Div. He was no help. Flexing and staring into the mirror behind the bar. s was nowhere to be found.

I looked back at Aven... she just stared.

I drained my scotch.

The longest night just got longer.

[Avengardh]

He finally saw me...I sat down...closer...to the bartender...so much more closer...

[Division56]

She was my girl, this knifer. I didn't care if the whole world knew.

It's not like I minded the body count... no one messes with Div.

[MacGuffin]

She moved closer to Div. She kept looking at him. Almost like... lovers?

But he was gay! What is their game? I could not figure it out.

I wanted another scotch. But she was too close to Div to ask.

The sun was over the horizon now. It poured through the blinds on the windows like golden river. Shone into my eyes. I had a hard time seeing.

Sweat broke out on my brow. But I dared not move. What were Div and Aven up to?

I looked towards the back door. Still no sign of s. Probably passed out. Typical.

I watched the pair at the bar. I was outnumbered...

[Avengardh]

He was acting weird...I shouldn't have gotten closer...but I couldn't help myself...if only...I had...another body...if only...

I finally looked at Mac, he seemed calm enough, I knew he really wasn't.

[Division56]

That mac was eyeing me.

He still comes in. Broken. He never got over me. Maybe he never will.

I'm like that.

She was staring at him. If I didn't do something, his blood would be on my hands. She couldn't take him. So jealous. Of what we had. So fearful. That we would have it again.

She made her move...

[Avengardh]

"I want....some water, please" - I looked at him, I couldn't do it...not here...

I looked at Mac sideways, it was just all not worth it...

[s]

[voice cracking] "Did I miss something? Uh, I need coffee."

[MacGuffin]

I watched them both. No water now...

The sweat poured off my brow. Stung my eyes. The light poured in. This was all wrong! I could not see clearly. The alliances had shifted.

I glanced to the back. Still no s. She should have been up by now. Was she back to shooting smack? I couldn't go through that hell again. Holding her hair back as she puked her guts out over and over and over...

It was all wrong. My throat was dry. My eyes stung. I had lost the advantage of surprise. And now I could feel it.

Fear.

[MacGuffin]

Suddenly I heard s ask for coffee...

[Avengardh]

S was up...so glad...

I had been watching the door...making sure she was just, alive.

Div was still looking at the mirror...what took that water so long?

I was waiting for someone...I am not sure when and if he would come...but I still waited...patiently...

I have always had too much patience.

[s]

I bet Mac is looking for me... I think he wanted to vent about something, but we all know he will just sit there nursing that watered down scotch.

I think I will head back downstairs to the bar.

[ApeTheDog]

I walked into the place, it smelled of stale beer and sweat. I looked around to see if there was anybody I knew, but all I saw were the usual gay bartenders and customers of low social esteem.

I walked up to the bartender, trying hard not to step in any of the million broken dreams the place was littered with..

"Give me a whiskey, and keep the bottle in my sight".

[Helios]

Damn this thread! Everytime I see it I get that old KMFDM song "Juke Joint Jezebel" in my head! :rant:

[Avengardh]

Slowly I looked around....was that him? No...too tall...

I was still waiting for that water.

[MacGuffin]

I awoke with a start in the back room. A tiny miner hammered away at the inside of my skull.

I slowly sat up, not daring to piss off that miner any more than necessary. I looked around the room. The hag's slip lay crumpled on the floor. Typical. No sign of her. No sign of anyone in the back room.

I felt the bandage on my side. Someone had sutured my cut. I had no memory of last night beyond the time Ape came in and sat down. What happened?

There were no doctors in the land of INTP. We had students, lost souls, engineers, slackers, programmers, hedonists, losers, philosophers, scientists, hustlers, and even lawyers. Hell, I was one myself. But nary a healer. They were out doing something productive with their lives.

The sun had crept around to the back of the juke joint. It now came in through the back windows. It looked like a tequila sunrise. But it was sunset. So the time for tequila had passed. It was time for scotch.

I reached under the bed for the hidden bottle of 21 year old Glenlivet I knew Div kept there. I wondered where he was. Probably off manwhoring.

I sniffed and tasted it for poison. Can’t be too careful with that Jacobite skulking around. You can’t trust them, as they go weeping about for long-dead kings and bloodlines. The bottle was pure.

I poured myself three fingers and drank it down steadily. Then I saw Aven’s dagger stabbed into the top of the pianola. It stared at me balefully from across the room like the Cross at Mount Calvary rebuking all sinners. I poured myself another three fingers.

I slowly got out of the messy bed. In response, the angry miner switched to a jackhammer. I could not tell if my head or my side hurt worse. I gimped to the door leading to the bar.

I clutched my head in one hand and the drink in the other. Pleading with the tiny miner, I reached for the door knob and froze. Was The Knifer still out there? Waiting for the Mysterious Stranger?

[Division56]

The joint's doors opened. Dust blew by. A lone shadow entered. His footsteps echoed the room. The harsh desert dunset obscured his face and set his red hair on fire.

He walked down the hall, bootknife in hand. From room to room he searched. In his cousin-in-law's bedroom, there was a man blacked out. He had a shapely ass. His side just begged for a cuttin'.

The dagger slid in, and warm, salty blood flowed like the gin in this guy's glass.

The stranger with the knife left the joint. He made his mark.

--- --- ---

I entered my bedroom. There was mac again, lying naked on the bed. He never quit trying, this one.

Wait... what was that? Blood. Everywhere.

I went and got some whiskey. The yellow gold washed the blood away. All that was left was a clean knife wound. It wasn't too bad, nothing this medschool dropout couldn't fix.

I sewed his skin tight, and went off to find my cousin. Her slip was on the bar floor. Never a good sign.

[Avengardh]

I knew it was a bad idea.

From the start...but he was lonely too that night....I loved him...as much as I could love someone who was forbidden to me. But he comforted me, that is all I needed.

Ari opened his eyes...I was staring at the ceiling...I didn't know what time it was, I didn't care...suddenly, I knew something was wrong...my dagger was missing. Not under my pillow. No one dared touch it...no one...except...him.
The one who gave it to me.

I reached for some support...time could stop just a bit longer.

[Arioch]

I woke up with an unfamiliar warmth next to me.

There was something distinctly recognizable in that breathing pattern, the bodyheat and just sheer presence of the person next to me. I kept my eyes closed while enjoying the subtle joys of her presence.

Aven

One of the few people I truly admire. Just after opening my eyes I feel her arm slipping on me.

No, this was not a bad start for a day at all

[ApeTheDog]

I was still sitting at the bar. Rigor Mortis had just set in. I had been dead for 6 hours and nobody had noticed.

Why did I not check my whiskey for poison? But more importantly why would anybody want to kill me? I was just a humble farmer with a spotless past.

I would have to find a way to solve this mystery. Being dead would complicate things, but I had not given up yet.

[indie]

Two eggs, a piece of toast and a glass of orange juice walk in. With a mien of regret, the bartender says: "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast."

(indiejade orders a shot of tequila, dodges tomatoes, and puts something by New Order next in queue on the juke box)

[Sackanaka]

I came into this shady looking joint and everyone's Captain-Kirking like they forgot their Zoloft.
"When in Rome," I reminded myself.
Besides, there was a huge dead guy at the counter doing it too.

He was looking rather troubled, so I did what I could do. What I did best.

I made a smiley.

[Claverhouse]

Humble farmers are sometimes privy to dark arcane secrets that they don't even know that they know.

And it wasn't me: I was distinctly told pistols only.

Oh great, now there's the ghost of an ape about. As if trade wasn't falling away anyway.



Claverhouse :ph34r:

[ApeTheDog]

It had become hard to hear myself think, what with so many people talking out loud in the bar, but I had to carry on. My head was the only thing I had left. If I stopped fighting now, if I lost my inner voice, it would never come back.

Who killed me? It had to have been the bartender, because I didn't leave my place at the bar all evening. He was the only one who could have poisoned my whiskey. But was he working alone? Why did he kill me?

If there is one thing they taught me at farming school, it is that you mustnt plant things and expect them to crop up the next day. I decided that I had done enough planting of ideas, and decided to watch them ripe to maturity now. If somebody in here had killed me, they would give themselves away sooner or later. And I had time to wait. It's not as if I had a life or anything.

[s]

I missed MacGuffin again, I wonder where he ended up this crazy night. It is late, really late. The sun should be rising soon enough. By now I bet he has picked up some whore... probably slipped her an extra fifty. I laugh to myself. I am so worn thin with too much on my mind. Earlier, that damn slip was pissing me off, so I just slipped it off and threw it at the barstool still warm from a regular’s long stay. Ugh, there it is all crumpled and pathetic. Only a bunch of gays here tonight, and they did not care I was partially undressing in the bar. I love that sense of freedom they bring. Wb is gonna be pissed, I forgot to call him back… where the hell did I leave the cell?

[MacGuffin]

Where was my whore? Did she run off with my money again? The lack of blood made me light-headed. Made it even easier to get drunk...

[MacGuffin]

I awoke again in the back room. My side was still sore from the stiches. My ass was not, so Div must not be around.

The slip was gone too.

My head was finally clear. The tiny miner had moved on. I got out of the bed and looked around. Aven's dagger still impaled the pianola.

I went out to the bar. Empty. Or nearly empty. Ape sat dead in the corner. This did not bother me. Ape liked being dead. He has done it several times now.

No Knifer. Perhaps she is off on another vision quest. I sat down and got the pitcher of orange juice out of the small bar fridge. I poured myself a glass (sans tequila).

I was all alone except for deadApe. I knew this would not last. The INTPs may be quiet and dreaming now, but shortly in the future the drunken whoring debating maddness would desecend on us again like a pack of nevawolves...

[cloakable]

I wander in, look for alcohol, and take a look around.
Hmm....
Dead body, MacGuffin, ahh... Guinness.

I crack open a can, and take a seat, and wait for something to happen.

[Avengardh]

I had slept more than I should have.

Ari was still sleeping, I had to find out who had taken my dagger. I got up slowly without disturbing his sleeping form, although I doubted he wouldn't know I was gone.

I took a quick shower and got dressed.
Downstairs, I found a body. Hn, Apethedog, I remembered him back from the Revolution days, good fellow, he was now dead.
'It couldn't have been my dagger...'-I thought, who would murder Ape? I am sure he had enough enemies, us radicals usually did.

I scanned the room next, some other dude I did not know aside for Ape. I kept scanning, ah yes, Mac, sitting there drinking some oj. I approached him, sat by him and spoke: "Do you know where it is and who took it?"- I said, no emotion in my voice, he was bound to know, he had to know.

I wondered if people knew about last night.
I wondered why I should even care.

[MacGuffin]

The Knifer. She is quiet. I did not even hear her until she was six feet away. I tensed up.

She did not seem to want violence. I relaxed a bit. She looked apprehensive. Like she was hiding something. She came closer, and I knew what she was hiding. What she did last night. I could smell it on her.

She asked me where her dagger was. I glanced over at Deadape. I drank more orange juice. I needed to think.

I assumed Aven stuck the dagger in the pianola as a message to me. But that was plainly wrong. Who then? Teh hag? Teh gay? The Jacobite? The man that knifed me? Who?

Aven began to get agitated when I did not answer. Fearing her Chicana wrath, I told her it was in the back room on top of the pianola. I watched her walk that way. My mind raced...

[Avengardh]

That damn bastard....it could only be him...I didn't even HEAR him get my dagger...

I wasn't sure how many had been killed with it, I only wanted it back.
I went inside the room, weird smell, I did not want to know what had happened in there last night.

There it was, raven-black, strong-enough, efficient, beautiful.

I took it after I cleaned it with the cloth I always carried around. It went back to its original position, hanging from my waist on my right side.

I contemplated for a moment, in silence.

Oh my fucking gods....what the hell was that smell?? I had to leave, it was too distracting.
I walked back to the bar, hoping to get back some clues.

[MacGuffin]

I downed the rest of my OJ. Perhaps a little tequila would be better.

She came back. Armed with her dagger once again. I looked at it hanging at her side.

Thank God I was armed too.

[kuranes]

*Kuranes comes staggering in looking to have been on a binge*

"Which type the biggest asshole?" he demands of the room in general. "Is it INTP?" he asks, in a softer voice next, laughing to himself. Wait, is he sobbing now?

"Last I remembered I was in this forest" he blubbers. "There was this BEAR, man . ."

*wonders now why the bear was important*

"Must. Stop.Thinking.About.Forest."

*sees Vader helmet on person sitting nearby*

"Do you feel particularly smart?" he asks, as if looking for trouble.

[Crazy]

"What a strange place" he thinks to himself as he stands there in a forgotten corner.

He leaves quietly, undetected, to go prowl the streets.

[kuranes]

*Kuranes is starting to nod out, but sees movement out of the corner of his eye. It's someone who was in and out relatively quickly, in contrast to this frozen scene still here. He gets up and goes looking for this person on the dark streets*

[MacGuffin]

PLACE-HOLDER FOR CLASSIC STATUS