The Strangest Emotion...

[Odyssey]

(Hellu y'all, I thought I'd run by a strange experience I just had... )

Wow.

Sexually, I'm considerably certain that I'm straight. So, scrap that as a explanation. But what do I do when I'm overcome by a wave of... emotional harmony? Mutual magnetism? "Communitas"? And what do I do if it's just some random guy on the other side of the counter, but I feel an instant connection? My feelings: "Woah, I want to be your friend. I know you've only said 'White or wheat?', but I feel like I know you, or I should know you. Why do we click?"

Maybe it was a convergence of both our moods; we had the exact same emotional resonance (simple happiness with a slight smile) in those few minutes, I swear, and we both smiled slightly, peacefully, when our eyes connected. This sounds creepy, but it was like love at first sight without sexuality; heartbeat was calm, smiles were natural, and I just felt like we knew each other - like old friends... A stranger and I 'merged'.

Neither of us said a word except for the details of a sub sandwich.

What's the closest thing you INTPs have experienced? o_O

~Odyssey [male]

[flan2dave]

I get this instant bond with some people I meet, and it has always been other males (not that I commit to a concious preference). The mind can store emotional responses to various factors, and have those responses summoned without any concious thinking. If two people have a similar pattern of stimuli/response, it might be very accurate to say the personalities are resonating, "love at first sight."

I don't think it's that unusual for it to happen with the same sex. It makes sense considering you've probably had more experience with befriending males. Likewise, people who experience love at first sight with the opposite sex have probably been seeing people for a while and whatnot.

[Odyssey]

Thanks.

Hm.

~Odyssey

[file cabinet]

you can still be attracted to another male even if you're straight. I do find some guys "more attractive" then other guys... usually it's the more feminine looking guys though.

[Odyssey]

"usually it's the more feminine looking guys though"
Ah-ha! I've noticed that as well. So there probably was a physical-attraction aspect to it, minus sexuality, if that's even possible.

Hm...

~Odyssey

[nobarcode]

I've had a friend that I've known since high-school.; I've always known that he was "gay" (before he was open about it, if not before he "knew it"), though with no "evidense". He's always known that I was straight (no quotation). We've have a bond, as such...and that's all there is too it. He is my most comfortable "gay" friend. IE: he is gay, I am not; we are very good friends. It's not a physical friendship, but I'm always glad to see him when I do (intellectual/respect, but not physical).

[Avengardh]

[removed]

[Odyssey]

nobarcode: ok, interesting - so you'd be implying that straightness/gayness can have no effect on an intellectual/trusting bond, and that no (or little) physical attraction would necessarily be in the mix.

Avengardh: Lol, Aven! You know that's terribly tempting. Did you have something to say that you could rephrase in a way that you'd like better? Or you can PM me if the public eye is an issue.

*goes back to "Hm." state-of-mind*

~Odyssey

[file cabinet]

nobarcode: ok, interesting - so you'd be implying that straightness/gayness can have no effect on an intellectual/trusting bond, and that no (or little) physical attraction would necessarily be in the mix.

Avengardh: Lol, Aven! You know that's terribly tempting. Did you have something to say that you could rephrase in a way that you'd like better? Or you can PM me if the public eye is an issue.

*goes back to "Hm." state-of-mind*

~Odyssey

I read it but my finger tips are sealed. sorry. * dials Odyssey's phone number and whispers *

[nobarcode]

nobarcode: ok, interesting - so you'd be implying that straightness/gayness can have no effect on an intellectual/trusting bond, and that no (or little) physical attraction would necessarily be in the mix.

*goes back to "Hm." state-of-mind*

~Odyssey
Not only did I imply it, that is just about exactly what I said. Maybe it was a poor example.

[Avengardh]

nobarcode: ok, interesting - so you'd be implying that straightness/gayness can have no effect on an intellectual/trusting bond, and that no (or little) physical attraction would necessarily be in the mix.

Avengardh: Lol, Aven! You know that's terribly tempting. Did you have something to say that you could rephrase in a way that you'd like better? Or you can PM me if the public eye is an issue.

*goes back to "Hm." state-of-mind*

~Odyssey

I forgot it and I don't want to type it again ^__^

Nah, just kidding.

Fc pointed out to me that this thread was only about the same-sex experiences, is that so? I don't think you mentioned anything about that up there, if it's not, I blame fc for everything :D

~*Aven*~

[EternalCynic]

I have odd connections like that often, maybe not to the same scale as that, but they're still there :). I also know someone (friend of a friend) who "O_o Kind of has a boyfriend.. only... not.." Basically, he is in a relationship with another man, but while they consider themselves a couple (sort of) they are not (extremely) physical. As in they may get close, but not in a sexual way.

*Shrugs* Talk to him, if anything you may gain a close and invaluable friend.

[Odyssey]

Not only did I imply it, that is just about exactly what I said. Maybe it was a poor example.
Oh, it worked - I was just trying to absorb what you said as a general Principle, extrapolated from your individual experience. Please excuse my parrot-talk =)


I have odd connections like that often, maybe not to the same scale as that, but they're still there .
Hm ok! Also, that story is weird & relevant, o_ O thanks for sharing.
As for seeing the guy again - funny, I was thinking of coming again this weekend at the same time to see if he's on shift. If for nothing else, it's to satisfy my powerful curiosity about whether the emotional resonance was a thing of the moment, or something more related to personality or physicality.

Aven: Well, same-sex experiences are the focus, but if the "closest thing you have experienced" is with the opposite gender, go for it(!) if it offers insight --

fc: haha ^_^

~Odyssey

[nobarcode]

Oh, it worked - I was just trying to absorb what you said as a general Principle, extrapolated from your individual experience. Please excuse my parrot-talk =)
~Odyssey
Researchers :rolleyes:

[Odyssey]

Researchers :rolleyes:
LOL, hmmm, how'd you guess? :rolleyes:


Thanks for all your comments. If anyone has more thoughts/memories, go right ahead!

~Odyssey

[file cabinet]

mm.. I have a friend who was 'gay' for a short period of times and told me had a crush on me but I always knew my relationship with him was 'different' .. after he told me, I was like.. ok.. but if we ever did anything with eachother we probably wouldn't be friends anymore.. anyway, he's no longer gay since I suspect he finds females to be more attractive then males and he and I still hangout about once a week.

[Odyssey]

(f.c.: )

Okay, you could 'sense' that the relationship was different, because he's more homosexual than most males - though probably not enough to be "gay".
Was it soon enough ago that you can remember what it felt like when you first met? (What kinds of feelings were there then?)

I think it's the initial meeting and impressions (between same-sex) that I'm most curious about at the moment.

~Odyssey

[Ckyzxr]

I read somewhere that sexuality and preference lies on a continuum instead of occupying distinct poles. I tend to think that this is true and that sexual identity becomes more comfortable when one finds their place on that continuum and accepts it.

[Odyssey]

I agree - in a way! Additionally, I've read how most adults supposedly have sexual "orientation" somewhere around bisexuality - in their mind they can be aroused by fantasizing about either gender. However, sexual "preference" - who they would want to have sex with, even if they could get away with it w/o consequences - is more commonly heterosexual.

For me, my "orientation" is mostly heterosexual with a slight lean into bi, while my "preference" is distinctly heterosexual. That makes occasional physical attraction to males a factor (like in this incident), but I'm okay with that, especially since I almost never get actual -sexual- feelings that cause flushing and shaking!

In short, here's my analysis of whatever influence sexuality might have had in my encounter of the "Strangest Emotion": physical attraction = yes, sexual desire = nope. *tongue-in-cheek*

~Odyssey