Attack of the mutant Ne!!

[Helios]

I have known forever that I extrovert to hold people at bay. Growing up in a "House of Feelers", one learned quickly to "be" what they wantedto see. Or face a deluge of concern,worry, and fretting about "what was wrong?!" Thankfully Ne is the ideal way to handle this problem.

Over the years I got pretty good at. So now in any circumstance I can "be" whatever you want. In fact it is a reflex. I'll be happy,angery,sexy,angsty,or whatever else I sense you may be looking for. You are then pleased, and hence,are much less likely to probe or otherwise be intrusive, and I am there-by happy too!

So nothing at first seemed wrong, when today at work as I walked down the hall and someone approached me, I felt it kick in. I can feel my face change, it sorta "lights up". My eyes open wide, I smile when I talk. I sound like a cross between a surfer and a game show host. This gaggy,cool enthusiasm burst forth. Running with what ever dribble you may have puked out.


Launch: acquire subject, feign joy at the topic, endorse, permit reply, reaffirm previous good vibe, begin conversation decent. Final words, enthusiatic parting exchanged as walking away, so as not to lose parting momentum.


And so it goes, another akward encounter dodged, thanks to a brief burst of overwhelming Ne. I, (meaning the guy inside, Ti I guess it is called) has always been "aware", if somewhat detached from this goings on all the while. I'll admit that it all moves too fast for Ti. The conversation is a blitzkrieg. Ti would panic, struggling to find the exact words, and be sucked into some miserble affair with the very entity we were wishing to avoid! But, still I sorta "watched" and keep track of it all.

Then today in hall, something happened. The Ne defense system launched as normal. But somewhere in the early phase of gushing about the topic, I realized I had no idea what was coming out of my mouth. It was as if the primary part of my brain was TOTALLY removed from the transaction! I sorta freaked out! I thought "Oh shit! What did I say?!" Well, I sure know what I thought about this circumstance, but wasn't very nice for small talk!

Well, I faltered, but not so bad as to be noticed. Who ever I was talking to, just went on to the "reply" phase as is the norm. I quickly run thru my short term memory, which amazingly still held all the words that had just fallen from my mouth. To my shock it was perfect. Just the same lovely charming bullshit as always! Who says this stuff? Where did it come from? Was that Ne briefly eclipsing Ti?

The balance of the affair went as normal, and I cheerfully wound down the conversation and left. Now, just a few hours later I couldn't tell you who I was even speaking to, or WTF it was about. But the sensation of "me", my core mind being totally removed from my external action is just mind blowing! Quite frankly I didn't like it, sure he did an "ok" job this time, but how can I be sure this dude isn't gonna fuck up next time. And who said he could take over like that! I need some sorta KGB in my mind to have a purge or something!

[Hexchild]

I think you're lucky though. I kind of wish I had that ability, but I tend to just phase out whenever the current subject doesn't genuinely interest me. And to make matters worse, most "normal" subjects just don't.

[ApeTheDog]

Awesome. Why not do it more often, Helios?

Your Ne will be trained by fucking up, and seeing other peoples response. It sounds like it has been trained very well, up to now, already.

Do you regularily find yourself going: "no, i can't say this. I must think of something else?" If not, then I'd say let your Ne take reign more often.

I actually stopped thinking before I speak a while ago, and am liking how much easier conversations go when you say what comes to mind. I cannot do it all the time, and strangely, the more important a conversation is to me, the less I can say what pops into my mind (to the point of freezing up sometimes when I know my words carry some weight - and not being able to find anything to say at all)

I honestly believe saying what comes to your mind is a great way to train yourself in the art of conversation, because it really teaches you - without the doubt that you have when you try to figure it out with your Ti - through succes and failure, what a good conversation entices. Not that, again, it seems like you need it. I'm nowhere near as proficient at smalltalk as you from your example seem to be.

[misutii]

i do this all the time too. walking out of the library i saw 2 acquaintences and cheerfully said 'hi' and one of them told me that i always seemed happy... HAPPY? I SEEM HAPPY??? what the fuck, fucking Ne

i guess it's just the typical response, i mean if someone sees you and asks 'how are you doing?' and you be honest and say you feel like shit, then they're going to do the whole "aww, why so? blah blah blah, tell me about your problems and i'll pretend that i care, and then i'll share them with the rest of the world so that when you wake up tomorrow morning everyone can help you... be more miserable".... naturally this is to be avoided and can easily be avoided by pretending

[Zero Angel]

Interesting thing about Ne, Helios. I tend to do the same thing, but i'm getting used to it. It's like entering a flow state where I don't really think about what i'm doing, all the stuff I say just magically exits my mouth without any serious digging in the ol' memory banks. It's pretty enjoyable i'd say; I'd even say that i'm charming as well when running Ne at full blast. These uncontrolled speech and reactions seem to come naturally to extraverts, so if it's coming naturally to you it doesn't really seem like anything to be alarmed about.

[kuranes]

Misutii correctly mentions that many times the other party is just pretending to care, going through the motions in a perfunctory manner also, ( I always loved that word "perfunctory" ) and SO . . . . many times the other side is , in effect, sharing your frustrations deep inside. Or not. You never know. It's like having to wear a tie. Sometimes I think if we guys could all just say to each other at once "Look, I promise not to give a shit about not wearing it if YOU promise not to care either" we could just do away with the expectation, but Nooooooo. Sometimes when you're going through the motions you think "This is just 'maintenance'. Why can't people bring their game up to the next level? And other times you're just going " I don't really require any input from your game at ALL, thanks very much." Knowing the other party may be thinking the same. Or not.

Edit - Not that I EVER care if somebody wears a tie from the POV of my personal desires vs. a professional environment that I might be expected to maintain as a mgr. etc.

[TPol]

Wow, Helios, you just eloquently and entertainingly said exactly how it works for me...and how I am sometimes struck midstep by what's going on and say to myself, "...hey, who's that talking out there?! And....oh, no...what frequency was I on? I gotta keep this yapper channel going or I'm gonna be stuck here explaining myself."

I don't have to wear a tie. Yay!

[Helios]

Hmmmm interesting points guys. Misutii seems to have the exact same thing I would typically experiance. That I am totally gratefull for. "I am happy! {now go the fuck away}" But ZA touched it with:


. It's like entering a flow state where I don't really think about what i'm doing, all the stuff I say just magically exits my mouth without any serious digging in the ol' memory banks.


That was it, I guess I am not comfortable with the Ne being that autonomous.

I always thought it would be fun to be an ENTP, but the brief shift is power was sorta weird, I think I like Ti in command.