choosing subject matter when talking

[adamaw11]

I've realised this habit that I have.
I seem to carefully avoid particular conversation topics if I think people don't know much about it, or its not one of their interests.

And if people do ask about something they know I'm into, but they themselves are not into, I'll just automatically cut my sentences short and fizzle out of explaining it. Other times I'll try explaining something, but I'll "dumb it down" so much that it sounds like I don't know what I'm talking about anyway.

Anyway, just thought I'd post this bit of self analysis, and see if anyone else can relate to it.

[INTrPosr]

Wise decision adamaw11. I think that the topics that I steer clear of, are those which will raise an emotional response, i.e., religious topics, some politics and moral issues. It's not that I would not have problems debating the topics with others, but stepping on sacred cows can be dangerous.

I am also in agreement that when someone approaches me about a topic that I believe they may only a surface understanding about, I will give brief, concise answers. However, before doing all of that, I may hit them with a barrage of questions for the sake of clarity. Unfortunately, sometimes it is hard to find the happy median of stating too much and not providing an adequate response. Under stress, I understand that INTPs can also have problems when attempting communicate in writing.

[Ckyzxr]

As far as topics, I avoid the ones that Functianalyst noted; especially religion, that one always causes grief and strained situations. I always "tune" my conversations to my audience.

Although... at times, I will put something out there just to see what will happen. It's evil, I know...but FUN!! :devil:

[Jezebel]

I avoid overly emotional topics with people who aren't close to me (and even sometimes to those who are). Someone can be pouring their heart out to me, and I either respond by petrified silence with awkward "uhhh..huhs" or change the topic to something exceptionally shallow.

[EternalCynic]

I've realised this habit that I have.
I seem to carefully avoid particular conversation topics if I think people don't know much about it, or its not one of their interests.

And if people do ask about something they know I'm into, but they themselves are not into, I'll just automatically cut my sentences short and fizzle out of explaining it. Other times I'll try explaining something, but I'll "dumb it down" so much that it sounds like I don't know what I'm talking about anyway.

Anyway, just thought I'd post this bit of self analysis, and see if anyone else can relate to it.

It's funny because I'm the opposite. Well, if it's someone I don't like.
If I dislike the person (someone who pretends to know everything, most of the time) I'll bring up a topic they don't know anything about and when they try to BS their way through, I beat them down with knowledge.

It's quite the pick-me-up. *Is such a terrible person :nerd:*

[Horger]

I am somewhat.. well, exactly alike you in that regard adamaw11.

I think I'm socially inept. I only really talk to my closest friends.

[Miss Padfoot]

I avoid talking about politics with people that I know are conservative, because strange as it seems, I don't want to offend them. I also don't say everything I think about religion, unless we're in an intellectual setting (a classroom or something).

I also have the classic Five complex of not saying something unless I'm absolutely sure. I hate to be corrected on my facts, and even more than that I hate it when someone logically proves me wrong.

[adamaw11]

I avoid talking about politics with people that I know are conservative, because strange as it seems, I don't want to offend them. I also don't say everything I think about religion, unless we're in an intellectual setting (a classroom or something).

I also have the classic Five complex of not saying something unless I'm absolutely sure. I hate to be corrected on my facts, and even more than that I hate it when someone logically proves me wrong.Interesting about that Five complex. I do something similar by never claiming to be certain about something, to avoid being 'wrong'. Or wording things in such a way that it cannot be a false statement

I havn't looked into the enneagram much yet. I think I tested as a 5w6

[Aryan]

Anything intellectual and i'll talk as long as i live :D




:cheers: for INTPs

[Universal]

I am not afraid of talking of my interests and my thoghts, I even explain them my thinking-process, they respect it!

[jimkopelli]

I think I'm socially inept. I only really talk to my closest friends.
Yeah... same here. But with my friends, there is nothing we won't discuss. Sure, we might get into a flaming row, but we'll discuss it.

[booyalab]

I avoid talking about politics with people that I know are conservative, because strange as it seems, I don't want to offend them. I also don't say everything I think about religion, unless we're in an intellectual setting (a classroom or something).

I also have the classic Five complex of not saying something unless I'm absolutely sure. I hate to be corrected on my facts, and even more than that I hate it when someone logically proves me wrong.

I'm a conservative and I would feel more offended if I knew someone was avoiding a political discussion with me because they thought I'd be offended (which I wouldn't be). In my experience, liberals have taken political discussions with someone of the opposite viewpoint more personally than conservatives I've known. I guess it also has to do with the area you live in. If most of the people in your area have a certain political bent, they're challenged less frequently and aren't used to it. I live in Minneapolis and the few conservatives I know have had to develop their arguments more than their liberal counterparts, who benefit from constant assurance in their beliefs by most of their friends, acquaintances, local media outlets, and local schools. I'm sure the opposite is the case in the deep south and other traditionally conservative areas.

[crule81]

In my experience, liberals have taken political discussions with someone of the opposite viewpoint more personally than conservatives I've known.

This is very true. Luckily, I have a very good friend who is very liberal but who is tolerant of all of my crazy reactionary ideas. (he's also INTP, I think) This leads to great discussions where we are both able to learn a lot from one another. Although we differ in our conclusions and viewpoints, we have a great deal of respect for each other's views and reasonings. There's little of the self-righteousness that I find with many others who hold strong beliefs.

The problem that booyalab describes is especially evident on college campuses. I've actually found the professors very open-minded and non-judgmental. The other students, however, are another matter.


I guess it also has to do with the area you live in.

I've lived in the midwest, east coast, and south and have found that it is difficult to engage in a political discussion with a person with whom I disagree without running the risk of offending him or her. (3 withs in one sentence) Like Miss Padfoot, I have experienced the same problem with those on the right as well, especially on matters of religion. But I still agree that, generally, those on the left are more easily offended.

I just wish people wouldn't get offended so often. Then again, I really don't have an understanding of what it is to feel or be offended. It must be something that my underdeveloped F hasn't discovered.

[booyalab]

I do have liberal friends with whom I can discuss politics and enjoy it but NONE of them live near me! They're all people I've met on-line. That's part of the reason I came up with the theory that constantly surrounding yourself with people who only share your viewpoint leads to intellectual wimpiness. Although they do say that the (American)right is the 'daddy party' and the(American) left is the 'mommy party'. So maybe (American) liberals are usually feelers, and are therefore usually more comfortable with harmony than clarity. Also, at the risk of making said liberals offended....perhaps the 'mommy' party is going through menopause now.[/i]

[crule81]

That's part of the reason I came up with the theory that constantly surrounding yourself with people who only share your viewpoint leads to intellectual wimpiness.

This is true. You can't develop your ideas and beliefs with a bunch of people around who merely confirm whatever you're saying.

Regardless of a person's point of view, it's difficult to find people who are willing to have a rational discussion about politics this year. Uncharacteristically, I've tried to avoid political discussions and will continue to do so at least for the next month. (I've made a bit of an exception for this forum because people seem very open-minded) While passion is admirable, it seems too many people are merely spitting out the rhetoric of their respective parties without even understanding the implications of their words. What bothers me is the inability of people to understand the broad picture and the underlying beliefs of the candidates. Too many people are too focused on a few narrow immediate issues.

[Vagabond]

I don't avoid certain topics. Well I do avoid talking about my deepest emotions or thoughts etc, that goes without saying; but, I am totally unable to come up with discussion topics. I think that being around extroverts all my life (that, of course, had to do almost all the talking themselves :D ) didn't let that ability grow in me. I need someone else to start the discussion.

[adamaw11]

I don't avoid certain topics. Well I do avoid talking about my deepest emotions or thoughts etc, that goes without saying; but, I am totally unable to come up with discussion topics. I think that being around extroverts all my life (that, of course, had to do almost all the talking themselves :D ) didn't let that ability grow in me. I need someone else to start the discussion.

Yeah thats interesting about the effect of too many extroverts. There's sort of a trait I've been wondering about, that I and probably other INTPs have developed to adapt to having too many extroverts competing for 'air space' Its the tendency to try and find quick informative statements to make a point quickly and imply a few things at a time to make the most of a little bit of talking space in a conversation. I suppose it sort of takes a bit more thinking before say something, and probably leads to stumbling when I try to make a point too quickly.