I talk to strangers.

[waxwing]

I was interested in booyalab's comment here:



My brother strikes up conversations with random crazy drunks precisely because of the possibility of learning something new about the world, humanity, etc.
What We Look Like (for those who dare)

So, is this an E trait? I'd been under the impression that a lot of introverts did this in order to learn.

I tend to be a lot more talkative with random people than with people I know. I find I am less self- conscious and more "other-centered" with strangers, which allows me to feel my way through the conversation (or mumbling) quite well. It's all about what I can extract and plug into something else. I interact while scanning for other places where meaning must be fleshed out. If my current interest seems to relate with another interest in my environment, then I continue interacting while being ready at any moment to shift gears. If it does not seem to relate, I file it away and move on in search of "the mesh."

Are there any strong introverts who also enjoy striking up conversations with random, interesting people?

Regardless of whether you're more E or I, do you like talking to strangers? Why or why not?

[panda]

Are there any strong introverts who also enjoy striking up conversations with random, interesting people?
On occasion, yes. It really depends on my mood. It can definitely be informative and/or amusing, though.

[ApeTheDog]

I don't start them, except in rare occasions. These are the conversations I can remember starting:

"Ah, making a snowman?" to a guy who was, yes, rolling some snow on the sidewalk. He was 2 years younger than me, and arabic. He might have thought I was having fun at him, or didn't speak dutch, because he just smiled and seemed a bit embarassed. I thought later that he must have never seen snow before.

I had a really long conversation with, well, everybody in the entire world, one day when I decided, in the morning, as an experiment, to say every single thing that came to my mind. No filtering. No holding back. No thinking. Plain extroversion. It was one of the most fun things I'd ever done in my life. I even wound up singing songs out loud walking in the street.

Several of the people at work, but that doesn't count.

Other than that, I always keep to myself until someone starts talking to me. I do get into it quickly, and go along, and sometimes enjoy myself (it is rare, though)... but I can usually not summon up the self-confidence to believe that I'm interesting enough for them to want to talk to me.

[Melody]

i never initiate conversation unless there is a practical reason

its not that i dont think im interesting enuff, its just that i dont care

[ApeTheDog]

Well we all hide our true reasons some way or another. If we're honest, it's not because we don't care or don't think we're interesting enough, but because we're afraid to.

That is my opinion, anyway.

[Melody]

nay, in my case its because i really dont care lol :P

the concept of 'people' is not even in the range of my natural perspective unless i make it so explicitly

that, however, speaks nothing about emotional dependence, which i believe is a seperate matter

[cjs55]

Honestly, while I incredibly enjoy learning about humanity on an abstract level, most individuals either bore me, or I lack the energy required to get anything valuable out of talking with them.



I tend to be a lot more talkative with random people than with people I know. I'm basically the opposite. Unless if this random person has blatantly peaked my interest just in the way he or she acts, which is very rare (basically requires that one be an ENTP, at least so far in my experience). When it comes to people I know, I am usually on or off when it comes to talking. Sometimes I'm in a mood to talk quite a bit, and others I just don't have anything to say at all. But with random people, I suppose it's similar, but 95% of the time I don't have anything to say and 5% of the time I am fully enthralled in the conversation.

This might be due to introverted SX. I get energized by the rare connection, but most people just drain me, so in order to look for that connection it's simply generally not worth investing in random people unless I have a good reason to.

[ApeTheDog]

nay, in my case its because i really dont care lol :P

the concept of 'people' is not even in the range of my natural perspective unless i make it so explicitly

that, however, speaks nothing about emotional dependence, which i believe is a seperate matter

I didn't know you needed to care about people to talk to them. I rarely ever do when I speak with people. I talk because it gives me an opportunity to think about something new - to see things from another perspective. For me, talking - despite it being something I don't like doing, because I don't feel comfortable in it (too many social cues I miss, and beat myself up over missing afterwards) - is something that has many long term benefits, and no real long term negatives. It's just the short-term negative things (stuck with someone boring me) that I dislike.

[Melody]

ic

to want to talk to ppl, a reason is necessary

this reason may be subconscious 'gives me energy' or may be conscious 'hear different perspectives'

to me, no reason of either sort arises

i would classify the conscious reasons as being practical ones, falling in line w/ my original statement

[ApeTheDog]

Aite. I always talk to people when they adress me, and always feel a creeping responsability (not that I want to, but that I feel I must) to talk to people (I end up feeling guilty when I'm sitting there, and several people are talking with me being quiet) because I can't stand being incompetent at it. It's something other people can do, so it's something I expect from myself as well. It probably has something to do with how I was raised.

[Melody]

my incompetence in verbal communication is significant :P

i give pretty good speeches tho. but i think that has more to do w/ my rhetoric than anything else. on-the-spot conversations are difficulter

[ApeTheDog]

Mine is too, especially if I'm expected to be serious. I can come up with something to say on the spot, most of the time, but in a serious conversation, you're actually expected to come up with something relevant/what the other person asked from you. That requires a good understanding of what they said, and that's where I fail so often. I still can't wrap my head around most of the times when some people ask one thing, but actually mean another. Or say one thing, when they want you to do something entirely different. Hints, and all that.

[akirafist]

Are there any strong introverts who also enjoy striking up conversations with random, interesting people?

Regardless of whether you're more E or I, do you like talking to strangers? Why or why not?

I enjoy striking up new conversations in weird places, just to challenge myself.

Usually to other E's, since most I's I meet hate to talk to anyone unless there's a logical reason to talk. E's are more relaxed, they'll chat just for the sake of unloading some stories.

NF's though won't shut up. I avoid those at all cost.

[Hexchild]

I've never been able to sustain my attention toward idle chat. I tend to zone out. For this reason, I rarely strike up conversations with anyone at all, stranger or not, unless there is something specific I want to talk about. If I'm genuinely interested in finding out more about a specific person - and few people interest me that much - then I might try to get a random conversation going with that person. But even then, unless I can come up with a good subject to talk about, I tend to fall back on observing rather than interacting. My first-hand experience with introversion sometimes makes me feel awkward about it, as well, as if I'd be intruding on people's privacy by talking to them.

When people attempt to start conversations with me, I often get bored and am unable to pay attention to the subject (unless it happens to coincide with my interests). Occasionally, though, I run into someone who has a knack for catching and perpetuating my interest, and whom I never get bored with.

[booyalab]

I was interested in booyalab's comment here:


What We Look Like (for those who dare)

So, is this an E trait? I'd been under the impression that a lot of introverts did this in order to learn.

I tend to be a lot more talkative with random people than with people I know. I find I am less self- conscious and more "other-centered" with strangers, which allows me to feel my way through the conversation (or mumbling) quite well. It's all about what I can extract and plug into something else. I interact while scanning for other places where meaning must be fleshed out. If my current interest seems to relate with another interest in my environment, then I continue interacting while being ready at any moment to shift gears. If it does not seem to relate, I file it away and move on in search of "the mesh."

Are there any strong introverts who also enjoy striking up conversations
Regardless of whether you're more E or I, do you like talking to strangers? Why or why not?

It's not excluslively an extrovert trait, no, but my brother will deliberately go out on a Friday night with friends to roam the streets for random crazy drunk people to talk to. I'm sure lots of people, I or E, have had their share of random conversation with strangers. But I think it's more likely to be random for introverts. (finding a quarter on the sidewalk versus looking for quarters on the sidewalk)

edit: if you still dont believe me that it's an ENFP thing to do, try to imagine an ISTJ doing that.

[waxwing]

It's not excluslively an extrovert trait, no, but my brother will deliberately go out on a Friday night with friends to roam the streets for random crazy drunk people to talk to. I'm sure lots of people, I or E, have had their share of random conversation with strangers. But I think it's more likely to be random for introverts. (finding a quarter on the sidewalk versus looking for quarters on the sidewalk)

I have done my share of intentionally roaming streets to talk to people, but that might suggest that I'm more E than I thought. In college, I'd go out to Chicago with a friend or two and blow bubbles while walking the streets. That was a good way to start conversations cause most people smiled or laughed and then wanted to know what the hell we were doing.

[Blue]

People watching intrigues me. I'm isolated enough most of the time that it's odd to think of other people constantly living their lives parallel to mine. Thinking of all the minutiae of their lives I'll never know helps me remember the big picture. Sometimes I'll try to start up a conversation, but usually I'm too direct and just come off as odd.

So if I ever PM you with probing questions...

+Blue

[booyalab]

I have done my share of intentionally roaming streets to talk to people, but that might suggest that I'm more E than I thought. In college, I'd go out to Chicago with a friend or two and blow bubbles while walking the streets. That was a good way to start conversations cause most people smiled or laughed and then wanted to know what the hell we were doing.

the bubble thing seems like kind of an introverted approach to me, with the focus on yourselves
but I definitely think intentionally roaming streets to talk to people is extraverted.
I've intentionally gone specific places to talk to people, but sticking to the streets seems particularly Ne.

[xHTx]

An extrovert constantly talk to people. An introvert doesn't do it constantly. Maybe sometimes. Randomly talk to street people? Bad idea, because Extroverts don't randomly talk to people in streets. That's not how the society works anyway. Think of "go with the flow" concept.

[waxwing]

An extrovert constantly talk to people. An introvert doesn't do it constantly. Maybe sometimes. Randomly talk to street people? Bad idea, because Extroverts don't randomly talk to people in streets. That's not how the society works anyway. Think of "go with the flow" concept.

I was not factoring "street safety" into this discussion. Maybe I should have.

[philonightmare]

do you like talking to strangers? Why or why not?
I don't mind talking to stangers. I think in many ways, I'm more comfortable being myself, saying whatever I really think when around people I'll likely never see again. Less regrets.

There's also the element of not worrying whether I've already said what I'm telling a person if I know I've never seen them before. I have a habit of repeating things, not realizing I said the exact sentence not too long ago. People I'm familiar with often point this behavior out, otherwise, I would likely have never realized. There's also something really exciting about talking with a stranger because there's the risk that the person may not understand a word you're saying, or if one is lucky, the stranger completely understands your point and is able to carry on their side of the conversation equally well.

What's fun is getting into debates with very opinionated strangers --they won't hold back.

[Pan]

people I'll likely never see again.

Absolutely. "Never seen before" has little effect - but when I can convince myself that certain people won't impact the future in any way...

More to the OP... I am a strong introvert (though less so recently by necessity than by inclination) and I very rarely start a conversation with a random stranger - though I am often tempted to by curiosity. I actually thoroughly enjoy talking to strangers - but I will not make the first move, and often have to be nudged more than once to make the second.

[meshou]

I can't recall ever talking to strangers past six. Before that, I used to wander off in restraunts and flirt with people.

[nottaprettygal]

I really enjoy being with a friend who strikes up conversations with strangers, but I find it impossible to do it myself...mainly because I have nothing to say. My two close friends who are able to strike up random conversations are both INF's. I'm not really sure if I believe that it's strictly an E thing to do.

[geniusndisguise]

I can't recall ever talking to strangers past six.

I think the real kooks come out after eight. Six is still pretty early.

[kuranes]

I do this frequently if I'm bored in some kind of waiting room, and yes, I will initiate.

Sometimes I seem to project an aura that encourages strangers to interact with me. If I've got a lot of B vitamins and coffee in me because I've pulled an all-nighter and am on my second day, I feel a little bit like I'm coming down from an acid trip, or have been to an intense party. That same feeling.

A black guy working in my neighborhood grocery store said "Hi" to me the other day when I was in such a mode, and we talked for quite a while vs. me just saying "Hi" back to him, perfunctorily. We ended up ( somehow ) on the subject of John Lennon, as we joked about not having much time to yourself when you're working. The workplace itself ( since you spend more time there than at "home" ) becomes your real home; as unpleasant of a home as it might or might not be, and the customers like guests who are there through an indirect sort of invitation.

I've had people on subway platforms suddenly tell me their life stories when I'm in that mode.

[Kljoki]

Regardless of whether you're more E or I, do you like talking to strangers? Why or why not? I like talking to likeminded individuals regardless of them being strangers or not. But I'll never strike up a conversation with a stranger regardless of the fact that they could be likeminded. It's just unnatural for me. I can't strike up conversations with anyone, even people I'm good with unless I have a reason so I could say "Hey, I want to talk to you about matter X". I can only do that to people with whom I'm close to. Where there is a sense of safety and control.

I shy away from the unknown and would much rather retreat and have peace and stability, preferably in my little bubble happppy.

[ApeTheDog]

I can't recall ever talking to strangers past six. Before that, I used to wander off in restraunts and flirt with people.

I have done this too. My parents had to abstain from going to restaurants with me at that age, because I would provoke the other customers all the time. Fun times...

[waxwing]

I do this frequently if I'm bored in some kind of waiting room, and yes, I will initiate.

Sometimes I seem to project an aura that encourages strangers to interact with me. If I've got a lot of B vitamins and coffee in me because I've pulled an all-nighter and am on my second day, I feel a little bit like I'm coming down from an acid trip, or have been to an intense party. That same feeling.

A black guy working in my neighborhood grocery store said "Hi" to me the other day when I was in such a mode, and we talked for quite a while vs. me just saying "Hi" back to him, perfunctorily. We ended up ( somehow ) on the subject of John Lennon, as we joked about not having much time to yourself when you're working. The workplace itself ( since you spend more time there than at "home" ) becomes your real home; as unpleasant of a home as it might or might not be, and the customers like guests who are there through an indirect sort of invitation.

I've had people on subway platforms suddenly tell me their life stories when I'm in that mode.

I know the mode. I wonder what it is about that "wired/tired" mode that levels the playing field. Perhaps it's the appearance of having lived. Others are drawn in by a simple recognition of the human condition.

You remind me that talking to strangers has a lot to do my desire for them to see me as approachable. Even with strangers, I'm on the lookout for that shared moment and will be quite the chameleon at times so they will not be afraid of me. What I mean by "chamelon" here is actually just a natural tendency to never act shocked at the content of a story.

[kuranes]

I know the mode. I wonder what it is about that "wired/tired" mode that levels the playing field. Perhaps it's the appearance of having lived. Others are drawn in by a simple recognition of the human condition.
.

Yeah, it's sort of magical. You would not believe what people have said to me when I was in this mode.

I plan on using these ( whether attracted in mode or out of mode ) interesting strangers' stories in my great "found sound" project that will take off someday, if I ever get my financial picture straightened out. If not, I guess I'll end up BEING one of those strange people "out there" with stories to tell.

"Used to hang out on a personality site, D'ye know what THAT is, sonny ? Heh Heh. Yeah, we was all INTP's. Them was the days, alright. I betcha never heard of an INTP, didja? Now hold on there. . . .no reason to be afraid . . . .come BACK, Shane! Come back! I love you, Shane. Come back."

"Shane ?

Shane . . . . . . . ?

I HATE you Shane!"

[rivercrow]

I talk to strangers when I'm in the mood.

I've been known to get onto an elevator with one person, and talk to everyone on the elevator. Compliment someone on her earrings, someone else on his tie, etc. Eventually everyone gets spoken to.

More recently, I've invited strangers to eat at my table if there are no other places to sit, and asked to sit with strangers if I don't have a place to sit.

I'm more likely to do these things if I'm on my own. The elevator business really freaks out friends when I do it--which is a bonus! :banana:

[meshou]

I have done this too. My parents had to abstain from going to restaurants with me at that age, because I would provoke the other customers all the time. Fun times...Provoke?

I think I was pretty charming. I'd sing little songs and do handstands.

Then again, they probably wanted to slap me.

[ApeTheDog]

Yes, telling them their food looked nasty to me, telling people they were bald, adressing them in diminuishing/disrespectful terms. The point is though that I also thought I was pretty charming, and didn't understand what was inappropriate and what wasn't.