Google humor

[cloakable]

Dunno if anyone knows this, but there are two search phrases on Google, that if you enter them, you will get a humorous page up when you click 'I'm feeling lucky'. They are:

Weapons of mass destruction
French military victories

Does anyone know of any others?

[Arioch]

I wonder how old that Weapons of Mass Destruction is.. it's been awhile for long enough.

[Groty]

LMAO!!

Used to type in "DEVIL" and the first return would be Bill Gates' personal homepage.

[Groty]

LMAO!!

Used to type in "DEVIL" and the first return would be Bill Gates' personal homepage.

Here's another Easter Egg...

http://www.google.com/intl/xx-hacker/

[Claverhouse]

The WMD one is funny, but the anti-French one sucks somewhat. The French are very tough actually, and quite good at war. Fortunately their good neighbours to the east were even better...

I mourn for the Weekly Canard. Copied the complete set down off the web, in case it goes 'missing',

Here's a letter from No.28.


A Letter From Paris
Special to The Weekly Canard

Paris, June 2004
Nothing's changed.
Five freaking minutes I've been waiting for this effeminate fairy to bring me a beer, and still I sit. Oh, it's not like he hasn't "tried" of course.
"Give me a Bud," I said in response to his initial request to serve me (you'd think he'd have the decency to at least TRY speaking American). So he brings me back a freakin' Kronenbourg and I look at it and say, "what the hell is this piss?"
"Une biere, monsieur," he says and he walks away.
"Yo! Jean-Luke Peckertête," I yelled. "Take this 'une biere monsieur,' dump it down the toilet where it belongs, and get me a freaking BEER seafood plate!"

And here I sit, five minutes later. Thirsty.

You'd think there'd be some change of attitude in this country, some feeling of regret or embarrassment. Some groveling, boot-licking admission that they were wrong. You'd think these people would show some humility after screwing the people who saved their asses from Hitler. It's not like we rub it in their faces or anything, either. Just a little clue here and there that says, "hello? Remember the war? You know, the big one?" You'd think they would view us as their liberators and do what we say.

But no, nothing's changed. It's like they don't even know we got Saddam. Not a single comment or a thumbs-up for my t-shirt with George Bush pulling Saddam out of the hole and dropping a rock on his head. I figured they might not understand the phrase "we told you so" on it, so I wrote it in French with an El Marko magic marker. Nothing. Nada.

It's not like I'm looking for them to give me money or anything, but a little respect would be nice. I hop into a cab and I attached one of those American flags to the outside of my window, just to let people know that I'm proud to be an American, and you'd think I'd put up a swastika or something. The driver flips out like the stinky-assed cheese-eating surrender-monkey that he is. "You'd be singing the Russian national-fucking-anthem if it wasn't for us," I told him and I slammed the door and kicked the quarter panel. I just can't figure out why these scumbags hate us.

I walk down the street -- the "rue" as they call them here (I'll give the thankless bastards something to rue). Nobody thanks me or says "hello" or tells me what a prick Gerhard Chirac is or anything. I even made sure I wore my American flag bandana and my denim jacket with the American flag on the back that says, "And our flag was still there." Nothing. Closest I got to a reaction was when I gave this hot French babe the eye and she freakin' laughs at me.

It's like we have to keep reminding them that we saved their asses in World War II but it doesn't matter anyway. They think the fact that they gave us a statue of some bitch exposing her armpit is good enough. I say nuke the freakin' thing and send it back.

This place is a dump anyway.

Justin Horowitz

And here's a bit on Britain during Bush's visit ( no. 17 ).


"It's a testamount to the irrefusable success of the War on Terror that with some minor adjustments to security and the closing down of certain quarters of the capitol of England that the leader of the free world can appear freely and without fear in almost the same place in public as the handpicked man on the street," the president said as Prime Minister Blair wagged his tail furiously and peed on the rug.



Claverhouse :ph34r:

[Groty]

The WMD one is funny, but the anti-French one sucks somewhat. The French are very tough actually, and quite good at war.

Ahh, yes the GIGN(http://www.specialoperations.com/Counterterrorism/gign.html) are major bad asses. A lot of countries look to them for help instead of calling upon the U.S.. The GIGN have to pass tests on over 250 weapons, they must be proficient on every one. They are also required to be shot, while wearing a vest of course, during training.

I don't mind the French opposition to the current situation. Kinda nice having a major nation out there that doesn't kiss the Presidents ass.

Of course, they are missing out on all of our rebuilding contracts. Iraq is now a huge money laundering scheme. And then there's all of the Oil contracts promised to France, Germany, and Russia that were voided when the previous regime fell.

La la... as the world turns.

$1.91 for 87 octane today.

[Arioch]

LMAO!!

Used to type in "DEVIL" and the first return would be Bill Gates' personal homepage.

Here's another Easter Egg...

http://www.google.com/intl/xx-hacker/

:D I like that one

[crule81]

The French are very tough actually, and quite good at war. Fortunately their good neighbours to the east were even better...


It's interesting that while everybody makes fun of the French for 1940, it's the Italians who actually have the most disappointing military record in Western European history after antiquity and especially WWII. For example, when the Italians jumped into the war in 1940 after they were sure France would be defeated, they attacked the few divisions the French had defending the Franco-Italian border. The Italians couldn't even break through this. I won't even get into the details of their attempts to invade Egypt and Greece later in the war. While I don't mean to bash Italy or Italians (I'm taking an Italian class now), it just points out how people's perception of history is somewhat warped. I wonder why this is so?

[MacGuffin]

The French haven't been feared militarily since the 19th century. Currently, their most famous fighting unit is made up of foreign mercenaries.

[Claverhouse]

The French haven't been feared militarily since the 19th century. Currently, their most famous fighting unit is made up of foreign mercenaries.

Which post-war included a large contingent of Germans and others, some of whom had been in the SS ( SS were rather over-estimated, especially compared with the wehrmacht, who apart from anything else had been fighting all through the war and were better anyway ) which no doubt helped. ( For them it was better than starving to death in Eisenhower's and the French camps ). However during WWI the French were a formidable foe, possibly the most difficult the Central Powers had to face.

However I agree French military prowess, and France itself, has declined at an alarming rate exponentially since the founding of the First Republic.




Claverhouse :ph34r:


[ WWII, the Italians were excellent artillerists ].

[crule81]

However during WWI the French were a formidable foe, possibly the most difficult the Central Powers had to face.

They were until the mutinies of 1917 when several divisions flatly refused to fight. Many historians believe that this event permanently broke the elan of the French Army and sowed the seeds of the defeatest attitude that hastened the collapse in 1940. Luckily for the Allies in 1917, the Germans were busy delivering the knockout blow to the Russians and could not exploit the troubles of the French Army on the Western Front.

[Groty]

I found another Google Bomb!

http://www.google.com/search?q=%22miserable+failure%22

[file cabinet]

there's even an article about it:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/3298443.stm

[Warrior413]

Maybe these should go in the web links section, but this discussion reminded me of these... and I just had to share.
http://rumandmonkey.com/articles/229/
http://www.satirewire.com/features/satire-jeevesinterview.shtml

[indie]

I came across this one recently and just had to share: Google Technology (http://www.google.com/technology/pigeonrank.html)

It gets really good toward the end. . .

[Shai Gar]

i like the miserable failure one

[EdwinJefferson]

Anyone heard of Dave Gorman's book Googlewhacked? quite an interesting thing.

[indie]

Google Gulp! http://www.google.com/googlegulp/

(don't forget to read the "fine print") :D

[jimkopelli]

And on the gmail login page, there's a new storage system that they're talking about...