Just my luck.

[ohnoaninfp]

Every time I like a guy, he is unavailble or he doesnot want to have a relationship. I only get jerks interested in me. I try to see the good in people, but they let me down majorly. I like this one guy, but he doesant want a relationship right now. I am trying to get over him. Problem is he is in the same club as me and I see him around campus. I don't want to be like james, who had a major crush on me, even though I told him many times I didn't like him that way. Now I don't like him at all. Any advise, as to getting over this, but still remaining his friend? PLease help. Why is it all the decent men are taken and only assholes are interested in me? People say I am a nice person. If that is true then why aren't nice guys interested in me?

[Utopmk]

Every time I like a guy, he is unavailble or he doesnot want to have a relationship.

tsk tsk. Typical woman.

[crule81]

Maybe the "nice guys" are interested, but too shy to show it.

[booyalab]

Every time I like a guy, he is unavailble or he doesnot want to have a relationship. I only get jerks interested in me. I try to see the good in people, but they let me down majorly. I like this one guy, but he doesant want a relationship right now. I am trying to get over him. Problem is he is in the same club as me and I see him around campus. I don't want to be like james, who had a major crush on me, even though I told him many times I didn't like him that way. Now I don't like him at all. Any advise, as to getting over this, but still remaining his friend? PLease help. Why is it all the decent men are taken and only assholes are interested in me? People say I am a nice person. If that is true then why aren't nice guys interested in me?

Have you ever seen the site http://www.despair.com ? They satirize those sappy motivational posters, but a lot of their cynical slogans are very very true. http://www.despair.com/demotivators/dysfunction.html
If you notice a pattern in your relationships, it's probably because of something you're doing. Maybe you don't think you deserve a nice guy, or maybe you try to 'change' people and see bad guys as a challenge, or you just don't know how to say no (i.e. you don't like him at all but you want to be his friend??!!) It's easier to change yourself than the people around you.

[Almaviva]

Sometimes people just aren't interested "in that way". There are some obvious reasons for it, like physical appearance, and some reasons that are really odd and highly individual. Many are below conscious level, like being attracted to someone and not quite knowing why.

You mention in your post not being romantically interested in a guy who is presumably "nice". So this is a two-way street here. Some people have it way easier attracting the other gender. Guys, despite how logical and idealistic they claim to be, can be affected by monkey hormones and hot women, pretty much without exception. People like me have a below-average amount of superficial sex appeal so have to sell ourselves in other ways. I have no idea what category you are in, obviously.

I have no doubt that there are quite a few guys out there who would be interseted in you, just on the basis of being female and intelligent. If you really want validation of that fact, just try out internet personals. (Although maybe you wouldn't be interested in many of them:) )

One thing to recognize is that there are smart guys who are nice and genuine out there, but many of them need some kind of signal, or else they will just assume you're not interested. This can range from subtle to hammer-on-the-head depending on the guy:) If women don't give out any of these signals, the guys they attract will be of the brash confident type who like a challenge. This can come with some qualities you might not like.

[Laeskis]

there's approximately 6 billion people on the planet. I'd say around 3 billion are guys.
That's a big number...I bet you haven't met .0001% of them.
Probably many less.

[ohnoaninfp]

(i.e. you don't like him at all but you want to be his friend??!!) It's easier to change yourself than the people around you.

I don't like James at all. I want to remain the other guy's friend.

[ohnoaninfp]

Every time I like a guy, he is unavailble or he doesnot want to have a relationship.

tsk tsk. Typical woman.

huh?

[Boozer]

One thing to recognize is that there are smart guys who are nice and genuine out there, but many of them need some kind of signal, or else they will just assume you're not interested. This can range from subtle to hammer-on-the-head depending on the guy:) If women don't give out any of these signals, the guys they attract will be of the brash confident type who like a challenge. This can come with some qualities you might not like.


I would consider myself both a nicew guy and an oblivous one. I just found it hard to believe a girl was interested until she jumped in my lap.

Unfortunately in order to get the nicer guys you might have to be more outgoing torwards them. Give them a sign and they will come running. sometimes the sign has to be pretty big.

Also I would take the fact that the nice guy is being honest about not wanting a rleationship as a good thing, he's saving you worse heartbreak. If he was a jerk he would just use you.

[hemanthraz]

boy, can i talk about his one.
im not exactly the outgoing casanova kind, but the few girls who did like me tell me that i was such an idiot and ignored all the little signs that they were giving.
Well little signs dont work with me, im not confident to approach a girl till i feel sure that she likes me.

I have a particularly caustic wit that certain people take offence at, id rather wait till im sure they know that i think nothing is above being made fun of.

And btw, the really nice girls always seem to have a sort of magnetic attraction towards guys who are perfect rats and otherwise not worth their shoes.Guess its a sort of balance thing.

[ohnoaninfp]

well I was giving him signs. I didn't smack him when he kissed me. I told him what a kiss meant to me. I let him kiss me and I kissed him back. But that was a while ago. I guess he is too busy for a girl right now. He is taking 22 credit hours. I just need to get over him.

[Melody]

eat delicious food! ^_^ mmm mmm mmm

im eating avocado tacos with soy sauce

much delectable


i agree with Hush, you have a cute presence
and it is good
that u came in like terminator
and shot ppl

[file cabinet]

eat delicious food! ^_^ mmm mmm mmm

im eating avocado tacos with soy sauce

much delectable


i agree with Hush, you have a cute presence
and it is good
that u came in like terminator
and shot ppl

all the while whispering... I'll be back, California

[ohnoaninfp]

[quote="Melody"


i agree with Hush, you have a cute presence
and it is good
that u came in like terminator
and shot ppl[/quote]

huh? Who did I shoot. :D

[Melody]

all the intp's except me *wink wink*

[flan2dave]

Perhaps jerks somehow get the sense they can get away with acting like a jerk, due to your non-judgemental and sincere nature. Meanwhile, the nice guys maybe intimidated by these qualities, believing they may not be able to keep up with your consistent, day to day kindness, along with providing the same emotional support once you need it. It's what drives the jerks, they think they can protect their ego from feelings of inadequecy by successfully taking advantage of an infp, giving them a false sense of power to cover the weakness they don't want to recognize.

If you find another INF male, you won't have this problem, they are able to meet you toe to toe on being nice. ;) However, INFs are rare, don't be surprised if you haven't met one yet.

[SensEye]

Why not an ENFx? Should be just as nice I would think. And more fun.

[flan2dave]

True.

[ohnoaninfp]

I am about to give up. How can someone say that they like someone when all they do is put them down. James will be the lonely one not me.