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Thread: ENFJ

  1. #1
    Iconoclast Array SolitaryWalker's Avatar
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    Default ENFJ

    Could somebody give me links to information about this temperament ? I am interested in how they relate to INTPs, not necessarily in romantic relationships though in terms of long-term friendships.
    "Men fear thought as they fear nothing else on earth -- more than ruin -- more even than death.... Thought is subversive and revolutionary, destructive and terrible, thought is merciless to privilege, established institutions, and comfortable habit. Thought looks into the pit of hell and is not afraid. Thought is great and swift and free, the light of the world, and the chief glory of man. " Bertrand Russell

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    Senior Member Array file cabinet's Avatar
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    I have a female friend who is ENFJ.. we've been friends for awhile although it went off/on at times although it has stabilized but the entire duration has been about 6-7 years. her and I have both evolved in different ways but I feel we are still able to strongly connect to eachother.

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    Made in Thailand Array Jennywocky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by file cabinet View Post
    I have a female friend who is ENFJ.. we've been friends for awhile although it went off/on at times although it has stabilized but the entire duration has been about 6-7 years. her and I have both evolved in different ways but I feel we are still able to strongly connect to eachother.
    I've known three ENFJ types -- one female and ten years older (mentor), one male and my age (peer), and one male and 25 years old (supervisor).

    1. The woman was definitely a spiritual mentor to me. She was affirming, understood where I was coming from and valued me for who I was, respected my mind and thinking ability, and knew how to challenge me in ways I could appreciate despite our differences in temperament.

    2. The peer was someone I worked with on a creative venture with a team of folks. He was in charge of the project. He used me as a trusted advisor, someone to critique, analyze, and shape the product. I was given some control over end result. He was very inspirational, considerate, wanted everyone to have a voice, and very nurturing. He was also very imaginative.

    We eventually did have a falling out -- I felt as if the direction was completely wrong and the project would fail. He was stuck on the ideas he had already developed, as they had nostalgic memory for him and reflected the experiences of the people involved in the project. At a certain point, I decided that I could not longer invest in a project doomed to fail and pulled out to work on something on my own -- an action that he took personally on a deep level, although he always remained civil and kind afterwards. While I tried to engage him later and apologize / work through it sufficiently, he always had not been very good at facing disagreement and never would discuss it deeply.

    3. This older guy is loved by everyone. He has a great mind and imagination, you feel as if he is speaking to you and interested in you even when discussing minutia, he trusts the people working under him and provides them with whatever resources they need to do the work, and facilitates an open communication environment even while having strong opinions at times. Many people credit him as the reason they came (and remain) at our company.



    As long-term friends, I would say that the INTP can depend on the ENFJ to provide a great sense of what a relationship entails. If you want relational advice, you couldn't do much better than the ENFJ, and the ENFJ can usually put things in terms that you understand. They are very good at helping you find fulfilling meaning in life on a personal level, not just an intellectual one.

    The ENFJ usually can "stay with you" mentally as well. They are well-read and eclectic, and because they are people-centered and outgoing, they can meet the INTP wherever he is rather than forcing him to extravert or manage the conversation.

    The INTP can help the ENFJ remain "stable" under stress, providing valuable input and advice that cuts through the relational entanglements (i.e., "bottom-line" practical realistic conclusions) and avoid any realistic pitfalls. The ENFJ sometimes is too affirming, and the INTP provides impersonal reasoning to help them sort through their feeligns and approach to others.
    "The word on her lips is always YES, and all her being says YES YES YES to all that is happening and all that is offered her." - Anais Nin
    I love my life.

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    Cynical Facetious Heckler Array mancroft's Avatar
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    http://typelogic.com/enfj.html

    says the relationship is

    Pedagogue: each is both the other's mentor and student: has a "parent to child" feel
    INTPC UK Photos ... MBTI Guide

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  5. #5
    Member Array phenol's Avatar
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    My absolute best friend is an ENFJ.
    INFJ :: 4w5 sexual

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    Junior Member Array Elwin_Ransom's Avatar
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    In general, my MBTI-style tests return an ENFJ type. But I have some introverted tendencies, and occasionally get an INFJ type, so I typically refer to myself as an XNFJ.

    Anyway, I would be happy to give insight to the mind of an ENFJ. Just ask questions!

  7. #7
    Senior Member Array nfinityi's Avatar
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    Provided maturity levels are the same, they're wonderful friendships. I was best friends with an INTP for about 4 years until things started to fall apart due most likely to the issues we both had with ourselves.

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    Junior Member Array Elwin_Ransom's Avatar
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    I would have to agree with Brendan and Fortunato here. Romantic relationships or otherwise, the ENFJ and INTP really seem to compliment each other well. In this case, the thinking versus feeling aspect seems to result in one compensating for the shortcomings of the other instead of making the two people complete strangers.

    Given the conditions mentioned above, there seems to be a great deal of personality chemistry. I'm still learning all of the MBTI terminology, but I can say that I know that my INTP and I get along fabulously. I'm not sure that this applies to everyone, but I know that it's exceptionally nice for me to get away from extroversion and spend time with someone of real depth; I also love being able to watch as she logically tears apart anything and everything. It's not necessarily my natural lean to tear things apart like that, but I am very much able to keep up with her and enjoy every minute of the analytical process. I find that her impersonal analysis of things really balances out my tendency to look at things as a personal issue and get a better view of the situation.

    Balance, that's probably how I would sum up an INTP-ENFJ relationship. There seems to be enough common ground to cause a relationship (of any capacity) to function and last, but it's the balance that comes from such a relationship that makes such a relationship so exceptional.

    I guess that isn't really all that helpful in answering the original question. Getting her view on our relationship would probably help you out a lot more than I can. If you have questions about the ENFJ mind (from the perspective of an ENFJ), though, I would be glad to help.

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    Senior Member Array Varelse's Avatar
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    Hmm...as the afore-mentioned INTP, I would say that Elwin has a good handle on our relationship. Personally, I enjoy having someone around with a greater understanding of people...and a greater capacity for dealing with them. That and his compassion are quite impressive, and certainly balance out my tendency to decide things with my T.

    Also, he doesn't expect me to conform to the typical gender stereotypes...I'm not sure if that's common to F males or not.

    Moral support is also nice for when the mundane world is screwing me over again...and being allowed space. And someone who can actually keep up with my train of thought, while managing to offer a different angle on it-while still acknowledging the validity of mine, is wonderful. I'm enjoying it.
    River Tam: "Put a bullet to me. Bullet in the brain pan. Squish."

  10. #10
    Junior Member Array Elwin_Ransom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Varelse View Post
    I'm enjoying it.
    That pretty much sums it up. Seems like a pretty awesome relationship compatibility to me. I can't imagine not being lovers, but we were, and would be, great friends that would help balance each other out with constant perspective checks.

    I'm sorry I don't have any hard information to give you, though. I know that such is important to an INTP. Hopefully this subjective experience commentary will give you a little bit of insight, though.
    Hell hath have no fury as that of a woman scorned, yet hell hath no power over a man in love.

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