What are your experiences with getting to know INFJs? Or, if you're an INFJ, what are your experiences with getting to know others, especially the INTP?
I'm trying to get to know a reasonably reserved INFJ and it feels almost like there's a wall up, preventing progress into more intimate intellectual and emotional interaction. We can chat well enough--but it doesn't tend to go far beyond that in person. Online, we can get into a reasonably deep discussion, be that intellectual or emotional. I've noticed this trend forming, and I've been trying to handle important discussions, when they come up, in that "real world" to try and help buck the trend and make some progress, but broaching serious topics and having a good discussion when we're both rather reserved hasn't been working well and usually just leads to everything that needs to be said not getting said.
I think we're both "part of the problem" to some extent, as we're both pretty socially reserved, and I think we've both been hurt enough that we're slow to trust. In the past I'd seen myself as a reasonably good conversationalist, but I think that might just have been chameleon/mirroring behavior, which is to say my ability to be a conversationalist isn't as much my ability, as the ability of who I'm talking to. I guess I'd just like to get a feel for how typical this scenario is for INFJs with everyone, and in INTP / INFJ relationships, in particular.
What would be even better would be discussing what got you through or over that wall, if you've been on either side of it before. (I'm not going to say this wall belongs to one of us, just that this wall seems to be limiting our interactions a lot--especially in person.)