I've been in a relationship with my gf for about 7 months now (this is my second one); she is an ESFJ, a complete opposite but we share many things in common. We are happy and growing personally in our relationship with occasional bumps in the road. She even states herself, that I am the "best boyfriend and lover" that she's ever been with. She understands that my personality is a bit different than most she's encountered, and I try my best to explain to her aspects about my personality when she doesn't understand.
However, she asks me all the time "how do I feel about her?" This is when I pause...................for long periods of time...........thinking........sigh! Answering this question is truly hard for me. I honestly try my best, searching deep within, to answer this question but I'm stumped; I can't find the words. I try not to but I usually end up intellectualizing. I usually try to explain to her that by going through this process, I am really tapping into a side of myself that is underdeveloped (you know, inferior function-extraverted feeling). When I try, it usually conjure up other feelings (taboo)that I am afraid of, scared to share with others. I show how much I care for her through my actions, by being supportive, and by being present (with ocassional time alone). I am not at a point in our relationship where I can truthfully say the "4 letter word", and we are kind of on the same page with that.
She is very understanding, however, she gets a little frustrated at times because she needs to know where I stand so that she can better evaluate our relationship. I can understand where she is coming from. In most relationships, you need to be able to answer this question, right? Do most of you INTP's go through this or is it just me? You have any suggestions.