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Thread: Best partner for INTP?

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    Default Best partner for INTP?

    Hey, I'm sure this has been discussed a thousand times over but I'm new here, humor me ? Plus this stuff is always interesting.

    I've read that xNTx are good matches for INTP, what do you think?

    My last relationship was with an ENTJ and it was a nice compliment, except for a few glaring issues. I always felt that he wanted me to be myself, but he wanted that to be exactly what he had in mind. Having someone who stood his ground was nice because it let me know what I disagreed with and generally made me feel alive, but it eventually became stifling. I also think that I made him nervous because he suspected that part of me was unreachable. BTW, we broke up because of his religion and he turned out to be a dick, but that's not really related. The guy I fell for before that was ENTP, and really a comedic genius, but I feel like we were both looking for too much direction from the other. Plus as an entertainer, he wasn't getting enough satisfaction from my reactions. He told someone that it was like I was "thinking on another level" which made me feel alienated; I obviously related to him more than the other way around

    I was wondering whether girls in general like the dominating personalities, or whether INTPs like it because it gives them direction (or both). I also know about myself that I like relationships that challenge me, or have some kind of friction (not saying this is healthy). Is this typical for INTP? I've been curious about this; please let me know if I'm posting in the wrong place.

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    Banned Array MacGuffin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by alpaca View Post
    Hey, I'm sure this has been discussed a thousand times over but I'm new here, humor me ? Plus this stuff is always interesting.

    I've read that xNTx are good matches for INTP, what do you think?
    Any type works.

    Quote Originally Posted by alpaca View Post
    I always felt that he wanted me to be myself, but he wanted that to be exactly what he had in mind.
    ENTJ

    Quote Originally Posted by alpaca View Post
    BTW, we broke up because of his religion and he turned out to be a dick, but that's not really related.
    ENTJ

    Quote Originally Posted by alpaca View Post
    I was wondering whether girls in general like the dominating personalities, or whether INTPs like it because it gives them direction (or both). I also know about myself that I like relationships that challenge me, or have some kind of friction (not saying this is healthy). Is this typical for INTP? I've been curious about this; please let me know if I'm posting in the wrong place.
    When you get 10 posts we can move this to the better subforum. Some women like dominating personalities, but INTPs in general do not. We like to be left alone - independence.

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    Senior Member Array starla's Avatar
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    I'm both a girl and an INTP and I abhor dominating personalities. Also, just because someone's a J doesn't mean they're going to be dominant.

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    I think ISTP or INTP are the best match for an INTP. Dominant Ti is a rare thing in this world, and people don't tend to understand it because there is hardly a social calling to. A smart ISTP or a regular INTP, imo, is best from a "taking sides" standpoint. The actual answer is that it depends completely from person to person and no one type is best.

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    Yes, I do agree that everyone is different, and there's a large spectrum of behaviors and matches that would suite an INTP. Possibly I sound ignorant; I understand that it's just an approximation of how a person acts, though I'm not that knowledgable about the personality types.

    I thought of a better way of asking this question: what were your best and worst relationships like in terms of your partner's type? How did you interact with them?

    Thanks

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    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    When you get 10 posts we can move this to the better subforum. Some women like dominating personalities, but INTPs in general do not. We like to be left alone - independence.
    Interesting. If you don't mind my asking, what do you look for in a relationship? Seems like a lot of relationships require much communication and compromise, which can subtract from one's independence. Relationships can cause major vulnerablility, a shift in identity boundaries and real physical attachment (release of oxytocin and vasopressin, which is linked to monogamy). I feel like in my experience, I definitely lose some independence whether I like it or not no matter what my partner is like. It's simply because I get invested in them.

    It's personal of course, but I'd be interested in hearing your opinion on the matter.

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    Quote Originally Posted by zago View Post
    I think ISTP or INTP are the best match for an INTP.
    I'm not sure pairing with an ISTP would work out well in practice, even though I like them. I think staying on the same side of the N/S divide is more important than staying on the same side of the T/F divide.

    My preference based purely on type is INTP first, ENFJ second, although actual personality overrides personality type.

    (The other day I got confirmation that this girl I know is ENFJ... which certainly explains the mutual magnetism. Pity that the disparity of our beliefs is too great for it to ever work...)
    sp/sx 5w6 singer of elegies mea culpa

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    Banned Array MacGuffin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by alpaca View Post
    Interesting. If you don't mind my asking, what do you look for in a relationship? Seems like a lot of relationships require much communication and compromise, which can subtract from one's independence. Relationships can cause major vulnerablility, a shift in identity boundaries and real physical attachment (release of oxytocin and vasopressin, which is linked to monogamy). I feel like in my experience, I definitely lose some independence whether I like it or not no matter what my partner is like. It's simply because I get invested in them.

    It's personal of course, but I'd be interested in hearing your opinion on the matter.
    People are scared of relationships precisely for those reasons.

    I like to think what i give up (in vulnerability, independence, etc.) I get back even more in the form of a loving partnership. Plus, sex. Don't ever forget sex.

    Relationships are ongoing forms of compromise. You just have to figure out where your limits are to that compromise.

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    Any type that is balanced, but the following are less likely: ESTJ, ISTJ, ESFJ, ENTJ, ESFP, ESTP. Sometimes even those types can work.

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    Quote Originally Posted by zago View Post
    I think ISTP or INTP are the best match for an INTP. .
    I think I disagree with both of those actually.

    I imagine two INTP's would mostly ignore each other, no? Definitely if it were two me's in a relationship it wouldn't look like a relationship at all.

    And one of my best male friends is an ISTP, and I think the perfectionism would clash with an INTP's general laziness- though I suppose they are accommodating.

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