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Thread: [MAFIA!]Team Janeway Takes Off at the Speed of Light

  1. #1
    Mr. Mocoso to you, son Array Oso Mocoso's Avatar
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    Default [MAFIA!]Team Janeway Takes Off at the Speed of Light

    [youtube=BgP6UhceJAo]Surrender Now or Prepare to Fight[/youtube]


    Janeway stood by the windows of his office, and looked at the Townies milling on the sidewalk below him. They were carrying torches and pitchforks, and a few of them had brought nooses from home. He gnashed his teeth and swore at them. It looked like they'd brought the whole town with them.

    He was trapped.

    Back when they were originally fitting out this building, his evil architect had suggested installing an emergency escape route, but at the time Janeway had told him it would be too expensive. Dammit! Too late to think about that. He unlocked the secret compartment in the back of the room, and looked over his gun collection. Janeway stuffed several clips of ammunition into his belt, and took out his favorite weapon.

    Ahh ... the H&K 417. You know those Germans? They make good stuff!

    Janeway peered down at the crowd below through his crappy little scope and wished he'd bought the sniper kit for the rifle. He probably could have blown that stupid smile right off MoneyJungle's face. But back in the day, he'd purchased the assault version of the weapon and selected modifications for it based on how evil they'd looked. When he pimped up his rifle he'd really never planned on actually getting into a firefight with the damned thing. Still, he thought it looked very cool.

    Shit. They were breaking down the doors.

    Janeway grabbed all of the loose bullets he could stuff into his pockets and bolted into the stairwell, clinking and dropping a few as he went.

    Three floors later, he was huffing and puffing so hard he bent over and couldn't run anymore. He'd been eating too many pizzas.

    Where were his underlings? What the fuck was the point of being an evil mastermind if he didn't have underlings?

    If he survived this, he was going to implement serious changes in his organization. Meanwhile, he could hear the mob climbing the stairs below him, and it sounded like some of them were in shape. He cursed 24 Hour Fitness.

    Before Janeway could even catch his breath, he swung open the door to the roof. He locked it behind him and began looking around for a means of escape.

    Looked like he was trapped. The Townies had secured the bottom of the fire escape.

    He wished he had more time to think about his next course of action, but that wasn't a luxury he could afford. He took shelter behind a concrete maintenance shed on the roof and trained his gun on the access door. If he couldn't get away, he'd try to buy some time.

    Before long, he could hear people starting to batter down the door. He let off a few shots to let them know he was paying attention.

    "You'll never take me alive, FUCKERS!"

    Inside, Yummy turned to MoneyJungle. "Did we ever plan on taking him alive?"

    "No. I don't think so."

    She thought about it. "Should we tell him that? I think he might have us confused with someone else."

    He rolled his eyes and hit the door again. "No, he'll figure it out eventually."

    Finally, the door busted open.

    Janeway pressed the trigger of his assault weapon and held it down. He loved this gun. As advertised, it could fire off over five hundred rounds a minute! He tore the fuck out of the door in just a few seconds, and it rattled down to the surface of the roof, shredded.

    Fuck yes! Wait ... crap.

    He looked at his diminished stockpile of ammunition and realized he'd better conserve his fire. He reloaded.

    Janeway watched as Faust06 cautiously poked his head through the stairwell doorway like a pansy little bitch. He shot a three round burst at him and missed. The Townie ducked back. Guess he didn't want to get shot? Hmph.

    In the distance he could hear helicopters and police sirens. This wasn't looking good.

    He heard the bounce of something metal hitting the roof and clattering around. Streams of white gas started snaking up and Janeway swore.

    Shit. Tear gas. He knew there was something he hadn't thought of.

    He stood up and ran to the edge of the roof. It wasn't THAT far to the next roof.

    Bullets snapped past his head, and he turned around to return fire at the doorway before securing the weapon to his back.

    He said a prayer to the Saint of Killers and took a running jump towards the neighboring building. He ALMOST made it.

    The alleyway below rushed up to greet him like an old friend.

    * * * * *



    "Wow. Look at the splatter. He's definitely dead." mused teleforce.

    "On a scale of one to ten I'd say he's *really* *really* dead." observed Ivy.

    "Want to hang him anyway? It's kind of a tradition at this point."

    "Yeah. Why not? Here, give me a hand with him." She struggled. "Oh ... yuck." Ivy considered the logistics.

    "Hey Eye in Tipi, could you help us out here?"

    "Yeah?

    "We've got this piece, but could you carry the legs over to the gallows?"


    Janeway was Mafia
    Janeway had a special role. Janeway was the Mafia Godfather.

    Everyone voted for Janeway (except Janeway)

  2. #2
    jovial dude Array Randall's Avatar
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    Damn straight!

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    Senior Member Array Ivy's Avatar
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    Finally we got one right!

    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
    -graffiti on the wall of the basilica in Pompeii

  4. #4
    Poopsmith Esq. Array HoneyCyclical's Avatar
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    Neener fucking neener.
    Nor does it matter how you gauge and try him. A character is like an acrostic or Alexandrian stanza; read it forward, backward, or across, it still spells the same thing.
    -Ralph Waldo Emerson


    All is bloated and far from truth. Let's secure that reputation. Place the dummy upon the roof. Stitch him a tongue. Give him proof.
    -David Sylvian


    5w4 sp/sx decadent - "half domesticated wild animal"

  5. #5
    Senior Member Array Ivy's Avatar
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    Now for the question nobody wants to ask: what the fuck do we do now?

    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
    -graffiti on the wall of the basilica in Pompeii

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    terminally laid-back Array Faust06's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Now for the question nobody wants to ask: what the fuck do we do now?
    Who are the usual suspects? I think MJ would come next, but lets just post our lists first.

    MJ
    Eye-In-Tipi
    Randall
    Yummie

  7. #7
    jovial dude Array Randall's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Now for the question nobody wants to ask: what the fuck do we do now?
    Well, we should proceed from what we know: that you and Senka are both townies. If you and Senka can agree who to vote for before the mafia kills one of you, then that is who I will vote for.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Array Ivy's Avatar
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    Senka's offline and I think possibly on vacation for the weekend. But here's what she said in the other thread:

    Quote Originally Posted by Senka View Post
    Obviously I suspect Jyn of being mafia. LS has been revealed to be the town detective in death so anyone trying to confuse this vote or doubt this is suspicious. (Eye-In-TiPi, teleforce)*

    *unless LS was actually the godfather and appears innocent in death, Jyn still has to die regardless.

    Yummy has moved back up to the top of my suspects lists. If a townie was told by someone claiming to be the detective that they were mafia is the correct innocent response to not be sure which one is lying? Cause that was Yummy's response.

    Eye in Tipi's voting is suspicious and helps mafia more than townies.

    Faust06 and Randall have also been suspicious imo. I have nothing more to back that up with tho (am too lazy).

    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
    -graffiti on the wall of the basilica in Pompeii

  9. #9
    Senior Member Array MoneyJungle's Avatar
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    Howsabout we wait to see what the mafia does before we start speculating about our next lynching?

  10. #10
    jovial dude Array Randall's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MoneyJungle View Post
    Howsabout we wait to see what the mafia does before we start speculating about our next lynching?
    Speculating doesn't hurt. The mafia might take their time just so we have less time to debate later on. Besides, it's good to know what Ivy and Senka think, as they are the most likely targets of the mafia. If they get killed, they can't give an opinion.

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