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Thread: How to deal with ISFP type

  1. #1
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    Default How to deal with ISFP type

    Hello there,

    I've got a problem. I (INTP) live together with some friends of mine. I determine, that they have to be ESFP (my brother), an ESTP and an ISFP.

    The first two are a bit noisy from time to time, but not a real problem. But what gives me headaches is the behavior of the ISFP (forest ranger).

    It seems like i pissed him off in some way, but i haven't got the slightest clue when or why. I tried to talk to him about this problem. He even didn't give an answer. He went back to his room instead.

    Do you have some experience in dealing with those ISFP types?

    Thanks a lot for your help.
    Douyakusha

  2. #2
    Mr. Mocoso to you, son Array Oso Mocoso's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Douyakusha View Post
    It seems like i pissed him off in some way, but i haven't got the slightest clue when or why. I tried to talk to him about this problem. He even didn't give an answer. He went back to his room instead.
    That sounds about right.

    Do you have some experience in dealing with those ISFP types?
    Yes. If my experience is any guide. they avoid confrontation. Just apologize for upsetting the ISFP and let them know you care. They might not immediately acknowledge that you've done anything, but odds are good they'll eventually get over it and pretend nothing happened.

  3. #3
    Member Array tatsutahime6's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Douyakusha View Post
    It seems like i pissed him off in some way, but i haven't got the slightest clue when or why. I tried to talk to him about this problem. He even didn't give an answer. He went back to his room instead.
    In my experience, ISFPs, when offended, seem to assume that since they validate their own emotional reaction, it naturally follows that others should too.

    I tried to talk to him about this problem. He even didn't give an answer.
    Indeed, they also believe that others "should know" what it is they "did wrong."

    He went back to his room instead.
    As an introvert yourself, this should not seem extraordinarily strange to you.

    Do you have some experience in dealing with those ISFP types?
    Yes, I married one.

    Quote Originally Posted by Oso Mocoso View Post
    Just apologize for upsetting the ISFP and let them know you care.
    Agreed. The best medicine for a pissed off ISFP is acknowledgment that you did something to hurt his feelings and then, if he offers to divulge more about how he feels (which is unlikely unless you're very close to begin with), just listen and tell him you understand how he feels. Under no circumstances try to "fix" anything, and absolutely never ever ever ever ever ever EVER try to defend your actions with a logical explanation.


    "The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit."
    -- Somerset Maugham



  4. #4
    Member Array eggshell's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tatsutahime6 View Post
    In my experience, ISFPs, when offended, seem to assume that since they validate their own emotional reaction, it naturally follows that others should too.



    Indeed, they also believe that others "should know" what it is they "did wrong."



    As an introvert yourself, this should not seem extraordinarily strange to you.



    Yes, I married one.



    Agreed. The best medicine for a pissed off ISFP is acknowledgment that you did something to hurt his feelings and then, if he offers to divulge more about how he feels (which is unlikely unless you're very close to begin with), just listen and tell him you understand how he feels. Under no circumstances try to "fix" anything, and absolutely never ever ever ever ever ever EVER try to defend your actions with a logical explanation.
    this completely describes me when I was going through my teenage years, during what i would describe as an anima possession. Fi for sure, have fun with that shit, having experienced it first hand i would shoot myself if i had to live with one.

  5. #5
    Words Aski Champion Array rhinosaur's Avatar
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    I lived with one, albeit only for about a year. The best advice I can give is to back off of logic and reasoning to acknowledge their emotions. Even if they are in the wrong logically, if they are upset, they need you to be humble and kind about it and not try to be argumentative or to force the issue. If you really don't know what they are upset about, show them that you care. Do things for them, involve them, include them-- actions speak louder than words. Consider offering an apology like "I don't know what I did to upset you, but..." although this may not work it probably won't hurt. They understand problems as who was right and who was wrong (introverted feeling), but also understand that it's never black and white, and thus always feel a little bit guilty about conflict.

    This is only what I think, and you should probably weigh my words lightly against people who have more experience with ISFPs.

    You should also consider asking the ISFPs themselves: www.typologycentral.com
    Last edited by rhinosaur; 13 Aug 2012 at 08:21 PM.

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    My best friend of 36 years is an ISFP. I usually keep my mouth shut and listen a lot. Like him anyway--he's come through for me when things have been difficult. After all that time, the bond is there despite personality differences. If you're lucky to have a real friend, regardless of personality, you're just plain lucky.

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