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Thread: INTP ENFP Compatibility

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    Member Array doctorjuice's Avatar
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    Default INTP ENFP Compatibility

    I'm an INTP guy just starting a relationship with an ENFP girl. At least it's my guess she's an ENFP, I suppose I'm not entirely certain at this point. She has a very fleshed out case of synesthesia which is quite interesting. She's good with analogies, is energetic, and can be quite crazy at times.

    Just looking for discussions and people's thoughts and opinions on INTP ENFP relationships.

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    Karl's my name Array Trentham's Avatar
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    Speaking only for myself (and strictly in general MBTI terms), ENFPs are my favorite people in the world, bar none. The ones I've been lucky enough to encounter have been warm, kind, open, clever, and energetic without the annoying drive to always be constructively so, a la ExxJs. Their openness to new ideas and experiences makes them a blast to talk to and hang out with. I've also found that they don't tend to build up expectations in regard to friendships and relationships like other types do. As such, an ENFP won't be likely to pigeonhole you into some scheme of theirs or test your boundaries in some passively deceitful manner. I find that to be a very refreshing quality.

    That said, they can be mercurial, to an extent that even the equally open minded INTP may find unsettling or frustrating at times. You may find that "commitment' is a very flexible term with your EFNP. The good news is, she's likely to be quite honest and tell you all you want to know about her philosophies in that regard.

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    I don't think I've dated an ENFP, but I think my mentor is one. We seem to really "get" each other. He's very warm, brilliant, interesting, and generous. I feel really lucky to have him in my life.

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    Member Array doctorjuice's Avatar
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    Hmm, that's interesting.

    To be clear I'm not completely sure she's ENFP. She's spontaneous, a bit crazy, and good with analogies. I can tell she thinks abstractly and intuitively. Taken these into account, it's obvious she's NP. Now I've been toying with the idea of her being INTP, it's a possibility but the fact that she is so energetic and seems to show a lot of emotion clashes with that to a degree. However there are times where she is very calm. I know a good amount of INFPs and am usually able to identify them quite quickly and she doesn't strike me as one.

    She's very introverted around most people but very extraverted around me. This makes me think of the "introverted extravert" term that some people attach to ENFPs.

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    Karl's my name Array Trentham's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by doctorjuice View Post
    Now I've been toying with the idea of her being INTP, it's a possibility but the fact that she is so energetic and seems to show a lot of emotion clashes with that to a degree.
    Not out of the realm of possibility; there are INTPs who show a lot of emotion in certain circumstances, and some of us can even be energetic at times (especially when intellectually engaged or "connected"). Differentiating factors could lie in a number of areas. For instance, an INTP might have a warm and caring side but would likely have trouble consistently and effectively expressing that to others, unlike ENFP.

    I know a good amount of INFPs and am usually able to identify them quite quickly and she doesn't strike me as one.
    INFPs tend to operate purely on their personal principles the same way INTPs try to operate purely on their individual logical frameworks. I would guess the most rudimentary way to tell an INFP is how easily they're offended and/or suffer from hurt feelings (as an offense to their principles) vs. an ENFP.

    She's very introverted around most people but very extraverted around me. This makes me think of the "introverted extravert" term that some people attach to ENFPs.
    Hmmm, I tend to think of ENFP as somewhat more inward-thinking though still a clear extrovert, although I do know at least one ENFP who spends A LOT of time alone and/or with family because she finds it difficult to connect with people outside her circle (i.e., SJs with 'typical' interests, ideas and thought processes). But even so, she has a shit-ton of online friends, among whom she divides her time (i.e., E-like).

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    Member Array doctorjuice's Avatar
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    Also I thought I'd tell everyone about her synesthesia. It is so interesting!

    She assigns colors to just about everything: sounds, numbers, tastes, music. Also she assigns tastes to sounds.

    What might be the most interesting part is that she the colors she sees in people. There are three "sets" of colors she sees that surround the person I suppose? The first set has to do with how she perceives the person's personality. The second set has to do with how she perceives her connection (or social status?) with the person. And the third has to do with how she perceives their current mood.

    They are sort of swirling or moving and are translucent. She see's all the sets at once but can also separate them and see then individually.

    Each set contains multiple colors and every color she says is never one solid hue.

    Because the colors are constantly changing it is difficult for her to describe or draw a static picture of a set or sets. She related it to the theory about electrons how if you know where it is going you can't pinpoint it's exact location and vice versa (I forget what the theory's called but it is well known).

    The sets she sees are three dimensional and there is no "box" or cut off point surrounding the person.

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    Karl's my name Array Trentham's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by doctorjuice View Post
    Also I thought I'd tell everyone about her synesthesia. It is so interesting!

    She assigns colors to just about everything: sounds, numbers, tastes, music. Also she assigns tastes to sounds.

    What might be the most interesting part is that she the colors she sees in people. There are three "sets" of colors she sees that surround the person I suppose? The first set has to do with how she perceives the person's personality. The second set has to do with how she perceives her connection (or social status?) with the person. And the third has to do with how she perceives their current mood.

    They are sort of swirling or moving and are translucent. She see's all the sets at once but can also separate them and see then individually.

    Each set contains multiple colors and every color she says is never one solid hue.

    Because the colors are constantly changing it is difficult for her to describe or draw a static picture of a set or sets. She related it to the theory about electrons how if you know where it is going you can't pinpoint it's exact location and vice versa (I forget what the theory's called but it is well known).

    The sets she sees are three dimensional and there is no "box" or cut off point surrounding the person.
    That is so cool, not even joking. I mean everyone has personality quirks; how often is someone's quirk that damn fascinating?

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    Member Array doctorjuice's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trentham View Post
    I would guess the most rudimentary way to tell an INFP is how easily they're offended and/or suffer from hurt feelings (as an offense to their principles) vs. an ENFP.
    Now in my experience I find ENFPs to be very easily offended and hurt. Especially when it has to do with their principles.

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    Member Array doctorjuice's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trentham View Post
    That is so cool, not even joking. I mean everyone has personality quirks; how often is someone's quirk that damn fascinating?
    I know right?!

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    Karl's my name Array Trentham's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by doctorjuice View Post
    Now in my experience I find ENFPs to be very easily offended and hurt. Especially when it has to do with their principles.
    Interesting..both are principles-driven being Fi. Maybe it's just a difference in how they express their feelings. I have a longtime friend who's ENFP and while I've offended him before, and he hasn't been afraid to let me know it right away, he always "gets over it" quickly and later acts as if nothing ever happened. INFPs on the other hand seem to not forget those sort of things so easily. Admittedly my experience with both types is limited to a small sample so ymmv.

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