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Thread: How do You Deal with Someone Who Never Stops Talking?

  1. #1
    Junior Member Array AlcoholicApologist's Avatar
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    Default How do You Deal with Someone Who Never Stops Talking?

    As an INTP, I understand that my natural inclination is to spend a lot of my time thinking and not saying much (especially when it comes to mundane, irrelevant, chit-chat). However, there is someone in my life that I currently have no choice but to listen to on a daily basis, who will NOT ever stop talking about themselves and how terrible their life is or completely and utterly boring things like (we're driving along), "see those cows? look! See 'em? did you see those cows? Huh? Did you see 'em???" ".......yeah..." "Isn't that something? Imagine having all those cows... 'course then you'd have to feed them and take care of them and taking care of cows isn't easy. Ya know it? Huh? Are you even listening to me?!" "Yeah" "Then why won't you answer me?!" What I'd like to say:"because there's fucking cows all over this place! they stink and I'm not planning on ever being a farmer or anything remotely close! In fact, I can Not Wait to move back to civilization, where everyone isn't listening to country and driving trucks! Also, you ruined a perfectly good train of thought I was having about the future of space exploration to make me think about cows! and frankly, it's the fiftieth time you've said these exact same things!!!" What my better judgement forces me to say: "I dunno..." And seriously, I Don't know...

    So, if anyone has any advice on how to keep your head intact or would like to recount similar experiences, that would be amazing.

  2. #2
    twinkle twinkle Array OzR's Avatar
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    My experience is that there are no nice ways to get around this.
    >Explode and tell them to STFU
    >Constantly interrupt every time they try to speak and then they'll avoid you.
    >Find every opportunity to criticize them for something they said, and/or do the Clinton by making them define what the meaning of "is" is etc.

    Sometimes the Internet has its advantages. Such as my Emoticon: Eww So Fucking Jolly


  3. #3
    Don't eat yellow snow! Array Park's Avatar
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    Headphones and some good music? I wish I knew but I honestly have no idea. My mother is a non-stop talker and I've never been able to figure out how to deal with that side of her. Short periods of silence in the company of other people makes her nervous which makes her talk even more, lack of those short periods of silence in the company of other people makes me exhausted which makes me talk even less - it's a vicious circle.

  4. #4
    Equivalent Array
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    This is what you should say:

    "...because there's fucking cows all over this place! they stink and I'm not planning on ever being a farmer or anything remotely close! In fact, I can Not Wait to move back to civilization, where everyone isn't listening to country and driving trucks! Also, you ruined a perfectly good train of thought I was having about the future of space exploration to make me think about cows! and frankly, it's the fiftieth time you've said these exact same things!!!"

    Many people suffer from intractable cases of diarrhea of the mouth and it is the introvert's lot in life to suffer the audible stink.

  5. #5
    Don't eat yellow snow! Array Park's Avatar
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    Btw, here a some of the things I've tried:

    - I once tried telling her that since I often found many of the things she said really interesting, I needed some silent time-outs during a conversation to process what she'd said. It didn't work.

    - Another time I suggested that we seemed to operate on two different energy levels and that she would do me a favour during a conversation if she slowed down once in a while and give me a chance to keep up - that didn't work either.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Array MoneyJungle's Avatar
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    I've never found a way. I usually try to steer the conversation to something interesting for me. Most people will surprise you if you let them, in my experience. Of course some people are just boorish babblers. I just try to remember that we're all a lost cause in our own way.

  7. #7
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    "See those cows?" Look!

    "Hell yes, I see the cows! Shit, man... cows are some of the coolest fucking animals on the planet! Did you know that one out of every... I think it's like something like one out of 38... or something like that, can't process grass... so at some point... I think it's like before they even reach like six months old,'cause they drink milk before that... duh! ... their stomachs explode! That is so totally fucking weird, man. Could you imagine if that happened to people??? Shit, there'd be stomachs exploding all over the place! That'd be so fucking sick! Of course they'd come up with a way to screen for that kind of ting in humans... I mean... don't you think...? But then, what the fuck would you do... abort the kid??? Fuck, man... You're having a kid... then all of a sudden you find out that if you give birth and let it live... it's stomach is gonna explode!!! Fuckin' shit, man... that's fucked up! Do you even think that cows sit around thinking about this kind of shit...? Like... mooo... should we screen to see if our calf might have grass efficiency absorbtion syndrome...? Mooo, like should we even dare, dear? That'd be so fucking sick! Wow, man..."

    Would that shut 'em up?

  8. #8
    Senior Member Array lpethe's Avatar
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    Similar to what moneyjungle said - you have to learn to steer the conversation. It doesn't take many words, just selective questioning and encouragement. Also be sure to avoid encouraging the parts of conversations you dislike (like whining).

    It helps to remember that a lot of times in cases like this it's not really about exchanging information. They don't really care what they are talking about and don't really care what you think about it. Most of the time they want to feel listened to and enjoy the social bonding that they think comes from this kind of interaction.

    By directing the content of the talking you can reduce some of the cost of having to listen to something you consider boring and meaningless. Believe it or not most people do have something of interest to say if you can find it. By showing interest with questions the other person feels they are being listened to which can take the edge off some of the frantic rambling and searching for topics. If you encourage the "good" and withhold attention for "bad" topics/habits the other person will eventually adjust.
    dance among the shadows
    for future glory's lost

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    Sure, or that^

  10. #10
    Junior Member Array tha_badguy's Avatar
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    My Mom is this way.
    Never stops talking.

    This is what I do.
    Pretend to listen.

    Then repeat these short phrases:

    Oh Yeah.
    Uh Huh.
    Ok.
    Really.
    No way.

    This is so simple you can do it while still focusing on something else.
    Say Hi!
    To The Badguy.

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