Terrible First Impressions

[Utopmk]

them: "What's your name?"
me: "Uhhhh..."
them: "your name is Uhhhh?"
me: silence
them: " I don't bite"
me:*forced smile, obvious discomfort*
me: *mumbles* "Michael"
them: "Malcolm?"
me: "no!" *mumbles*

The fact is, that in real life I go retarded when it's time to meet new people. It's like I have been programmed to infect every single human relation from the start. The wiser ones have said "he's awesome, once you get to know him." I took this to mean that they were compensating for my bad first impression. My confidence is very high with people I know, but I can't just conversate with people I know nothing about, my throat gets lumpy. (without my pills muahahaha, but when I have those I just look like a cocky drugheaded bastard)


What kind of first impressions do you make?

[file cabinet]

I'm not sure.. I rarely get the opportunity... or at least it feels like I haven't in awhile. I am going to meet a friend's roommate at some point. I wonder how that will go.

Originally Posted by Utopmk

them: "What's your name?"
me: "Uhhhh..."
them: "your name is Uhhhh?"
me: silence
them: " I don't bite"

it is at this point that you should've flashed your fangs to show the person that you did.

[cloakable]

I'm can be pretty good with introductions, as I have good charisma. Most of the time, though, I'm just not in the mood, and will answer with monosylibic sounds. :D

[Last Song]

I've become more and more detatched lately and have begun slurring words and lazily mumbling ... so meh, the above sounds close enough to my lack of effort socialising.

[purple13]

I hate it when my mind goes blank. Usually in conversation when I'm trying to recall a detail (the name of last movie I saw, etc.) I'm terrible with remembering titles, etc. Especially at work it's embarassing - I'll be on the phone trying to remember some detail, and I'll totally lose my train of thought, and have to say "ummm.. I forgot what I was going to say". I'll try to retrieve what I was trying to think of.. to no avail. Then "ummm... well if I think of it, I'll call you back". Ugh.

[last_caress]

I figure the reason why my mind seems blank is that, I didn't want to talk to them in the first place.
Did you really?
Once you're ok with that you can blow them off with impunity.

[Google Monster]

I usually answer to the point and never drag on my words.

Them: "Hi."
Me: "hi"
Them "whats your name?"
Me "Enos."
Them "how was your day?"
Me: "good."

One word is good enough for me. Although friends i can talk with but its never about our day, well my day. Sure I'll listening about their wonderful day but when i tell them about my wonderful day of new ideas they shut me out those bastards!!!
sorry, guess i did drag on my words and ended up ranting instead. Good thing this is in the rant part.

[Birdsnest]

Now if its someone you really want to get to know, just try to make them understand that until they get to know you, you are nervous and to bear with you for a while.

If its just someone you are not that interested in, most of it is just memorizing a few "lines" to say whenever you need them and keeping them on file as put offs or "prerecorded manners".

The trouble with small talk is they aren't really asking about how you are, they just want to hear noise because it makes them feel better, and silence bothers them, and they don't know how to judge silence. If you know that, then just make an observation about something going on around you and comment, no matter how stupid like oh, nice day isn't it, they don't care how smart it sounds, they just want stupid conversation.

Introverts do not like small talk, because they fear sounding stupid. So that is the task, to say anything, and not care how dumb it sounds. Typical small talk will turn it around and attempt to make the other person listened to. Don't think so highly of them, its not about you or them. Focus on their hair and not yourself.

Small talk one liners:
This line is so long, how long do they think I have for lunch anyway!
Nice day isn't it?
What do you think of this weather we are having?
Hi, my name is ___, whats your name?
Are you from around here?

Or, just AnYTHING that seems to fit with the context that brings you together. Maybe you notice they are nervous too. You can comment on that, "these gatherings make me so nervous".

Anyway, just start out small. Change the focus off of yourself and put it on them. Ask them questions, personal or not, they will probably want to talk about themselves and be glad you started it. If they indicate they don't want to talk, just don't continue.

Usually with extroverts, silence makes them very uncomfortable, because they want to be able to bond with you in conversation, or else make a judgement and fit you into a category. Just keep it very simple, and don't be afraid to say something trite, they want you to act the slightest bit interested in them to satisfy them that you aren't the enemy, and to 'support' them and play their social games. Just be polite and get out of it saying you've got to get back to work, or nice talking to you.

On the phone, there are a lot of tricks, like..I will try to find out for you, can you please hold? Or, let me get your number, I will research that and let you know as soon as I find out. You can politely give yourself time to think if you need to. With bosses breathing down your back, you can put them off by saying, I have that scheduled for this afternoon, thats the soonest I can get to it, unless you prefer that comes first, or I'll bring it to you as soon as its ready.

Just have some "put off" lines ready for quick answers, they really help.

[Jkrs]

I probably appear unapproachable, as I usually try to look as though I'm busy with something else.

If I know I'm going to have to interact with the other person(s) for a while or to do something, I'll usually do my best to seem nonthreatening. (That way I can be safely ignored.)

[Division56]

Originally Posted by Jkrs

I probably appear unapproachable, as I usually try to look as though I'm busy with something else.

If I know I'm going to have to interact with the other person(s) for a while or to do something, I'll usually do my best to seem nonthreatening. (That way I can be safely ignored.)

That's me too...

I always keep a book handy for staring into and day dreaming...