Difficulty reading body language

[rivercrow]

Greetings, folks!

I notice I have a terrible time reading body language sometimes.

This problem was highlighted to me a few weeks ago when a former class mate was describing "anger signs" in a common professor. He talked about her holding her glasses a certain way or standing a certain way; I had no idea what he was talking about.

I can tell when people are distressed, usually, and I can tell when people have some other trauma/drama in their lives. But subtle anger signs are beyond me, apparently. (Why can't people change colors like squid or raise crests like birds or puff up like cats??)

Is this just my personal problem (that's cool), is this a problem with bad Fe, is this the prof's problem (unclear messages), or is this something else?

Then, does it matter? Should I cultivate an awareness of subdued emotion and body language, and how would I do that?

I'm inclined to not care. If someone is angry at me, they need to address it in a forthright manner.

[Superstring]

Originally Posted by rivercrow

Greetings, folks!

I notice I have a terrible time reading body language sometimes.

This problem was highlighted to me a few weeks ago when a former class mate was describing "anger signs" in a common professor. He talked about her holding her glasses a certain way or standing a certain way; I had no idea what he was talking about.

I can tell when people are distressed, usually, and I can tell when people have some other trauma/drama in their lives. But subtle anger signs are beyond me, apparently. (Why can't people change colors like squid or raise crests like birds or puff up like cats??)

Is this just my personal problem (that's cool), is this a problem with bad Fe, is this the prof's problem (unclear messages), or is this something else?

Then, does it matter? Should I cultivate an awareness of subdued emotion and body language, and how would I do that?

I'm inclined to not care. If someone is angry at me, they need to address it in a forthright manner.

That might indicate you have Asperger's syndrome, you should find out about getting assessed for it or similar conditions you can get help for. Here's an online test http://www.rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php
and some info on Asperger's http://www.nas.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=212

Some people here have reported they have it in a thread or two that deal with this subject.

[htb]

Well, if what Keirsey and Jung and Myers et al. say is correct -- statements confirmed by many posters in numerous threads on this site -- an INTP faces considerable disadvantages when trying to observe and identify emotion.

The simplest and most common cues are a change in syntax, vocal pitch and/or timbre. Erubescence -- flushing -- is another indication, especially for those who are not known for bad tempers. Unction -- forced smiles and cordiality -- is yet another. Forced silence or awkward, almost reflexive disruptions of a conversation's rhythm, are still others.

Your predicament is odd to me. Aided by familiarity, I have always been aware of others' general feelings -- whether overtly expressed or not and, most uncannily, sometimes communicated through otherwise benign actions over long distances. The perception is not, however, without its disadvantages: NF perspecuity necessitates heightened sensitivity. Think of a condensor microphone with the preamp gain boosted. Yes, the slightest stir can be observed; but a sufficient amount of high-volume or high-pressure noise, in this case anger or malevolence, will cause a painful overload. Feeling everything means feeling everything. "Cultivating awareness" may be, for you, unpracticable and, really, unnecessary.

[TelecomClone]

Originally Posted by rivercrow

Is this just my personal problem (that's cool), is this a problem with bad Fe, is this the prof's problem (unclear messages), or is this something else?

Then, does it matter?

Well, I can tell you that I don't read body language at all, unless it's really exaggerated (in which case I'm usually laughing at it) or I'm specifically looking to read it. I'm okay with automatically reading facial expressions and tonal inflection, but that's about it. As for whether or not it matters - has it caused you any significant problems? Can you imagine a scenario where it would? If not, then it probably doesn't.

Originally Posted by rivercrow

I'm inclined to not care. If someone is angry at me, they need to address it in a forthright manner.

That's what I think about it as well. To hell with guessing games and the unspoken word.

[Birdsnest]

I think some extroverts are masters at disguising their real feelings. They make an art of putting on a face on the outside that is very hard to detect.

Some body language I'm aware of:

If someones jaw is relaxed it means they are relaxed.
If their legs are crossed look at who they point towards, (open to) and who they point away from. (do not like).

If the arms are crossed, they are closed minded.
If the you see shortened fast breathing, hear loud voice tones, any tenseness in the muscles, furrowed brows, reddened face, squinted eyes, they might be angry.

But some people really are good at disguising their feelings so you can't always see these things.


I found this link with a few body language tips: http://members.aol.com/nonverbal2/entries.htm#Entries


http://www.links2love.com/body_language.htm
http://www.sosuave.com/articles/body.htm

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_language
http://www.rider.edu/~suler/bodylang.html


Anger may show in a. jaws tensed to a biting position; b. postures of the broadside display (e.g., hands-on-hips); c. cut-off and head-jerk cues; d. fist, hand-behind-head, and palm-down beating gestures; e. frowning and tense-mouth expressions; f. growling voice tones; and g. staring.

Anatomy. In the face, motion energy maps reveal that anger shows most prominently in contortions around the eyebrows for frowning. Corrugator supercilii muscles, blended with occipitofrontalis and orbicularis oculi, draw the eyebrows down, as if to shield the eyes, producing vertical furrows above the nose. At the same time procerus, blended with occipitofrontalis, produces horizontal wrinkles over the bridge of the nose. Anger shows in contracted orbicularis oris and masseter muscles (of the tense-mouth, e.g.) as well.

[TelecomClone]

Originally Posted by Birdsnest

If their legs are crossed look at who they point towards, (open to) and who they point away from. (do not like).

I always cross my right leg over my left if I am going to cross my legs, no matter where people are sitting. Not out of an effort to disguise my feelings (I'd never heard of that before), but because the other way isn't comfortable.

[Mr. Good Beats]

with a score of 126 i am very likely an aspie according to that test

[distraction tactics]

Originally Posted by rivercrow

Greetings, folks!

I notice I have a terrible time reading body language sometimes.

My guess is you pick up more body language than you think or are willing to let on, but that you neither trust your observations, or as you stated, are not inclined to care. Your view might be, "if they're not so angry as to be yelling and screaming, what's the point?"

Substitute anger for any emotion and associated reactional outburst.

[Superstring]

Originally Posted by TelecomClone

That's what I think about it as well. To hell with guessing games and the unspoken word.

Fuck yeah! Just look at that picketing emoticon, he getsa whatsa comin

[Superstring]

Originally Posted by rivercrow

I'm inclined to not care. If someone is angry at me, they need to address it in a forthright manner.

But also things piss people off against their will. It's important to know for yourself when that happens.